Gratitude is an attitude that hooks us up to our source of supply.  And the more grateful you are, the closer you become to your maker, to the architect of the universe, to the spiritual core of your being.  It’s a phenomenal lesson.  Bob Proctor (The Secret, Law of Attraction)

I meant to post this last week but didn’t because of the latest car fender bender story that just had to be put up in its entirety.   As you’re about to see, I’m back to breaking things down into sub-headings this week.

Time Saving Blog Tips

Time Saving Tip #1:  Thanks to Wendy Piersall and Lorelle VanFossen, I was led to two excellent time-saving tools for this blog.  You may have noticed that at times I am hit with a nice handful of comments.  Since I enjoy giving personal attention to each and every one of them, when things get hectic, they tend pile up, turning this into a huge labor intensive task.  In order to respond individually, I have been forced to go back and forth between the WordPress Administration Panel and the comment section so that I could keep track of who I just responded to.  You can imagine how time consuming that can be.

Well, no more.  If you use Firefox as your browser and you have a WordPress blog, you’ll be able to download Comment Ninja which allows you to respond to each comment without ever leaving your blog administration page.  It is not a plug-in; rather, it’s a script that works with your Firefox browser.

Word of warning:  Do not go “experimenting” with other the scripts unless you’re absolutely 100 percent positive they are safe to install.  I trusted Wendy and Lorelle about Comment Ninja and Askimet Auntie Spam (below) and because of that, I fearlessly downloaded both scripts with fantastic results.

Time Saving Tip #2: While Askimet does a great job combating comment spam, I haven’t had much time to keep up with the task of wading through each of them to ensure legit comments were not snatched up by the jaws of Askimet.  I was spending several minutes a day on this task alone.

It got to the point where I began hitting the “Delete ALL” button, feeling guilty about possibly deleting some legitimate comments in there.

Once again, no more!  If you use Firefox and have a WordPress blog, you can download Akismet Auntie Spam.  This script compresses spam comments into one-liners, making it easier to see 15 to 20 spam comments per page rather than 3 to 5.  A tremendous time saver!

Thanks again Wendy and Lorelle.  You girls certainly know what you’re talking about!

Another Keynote Speaking Engagement

A few weeks ago, i announced in a gratitude post that Penn State booked me for 3 speaking events in the Fall (back-to-back talks over a 2 day period).

Not long after that, Frito-Lay, a division of Pepisco, hired me for a keynote engagement taking place a month following the Penn State gig.  (Photo/Image Credit:  nbrier)

Thank you God!  The universe continues to conspire to bless me in unexpected ways.  Sometimes speaking clients find me on the Internet.  Other times, a fan or a friend will send someone an email letting them know about me, which may or may not get passed around.  Other times people find out about me via word of mouth.  I am usually not aware of most of the activity taking place until I am in contact with a client who tells me about it.

Karen Putz, a long time fan and subscriber to Adversity University (not to mention a great friend – we got to know one another at SOBCon08 earlier this year), sent an email to someone at Pepisco.  After months of follow ups and not hearing back, we assumed this was not an open pathway for me at this time and forgot about it.

Practically the entire summer went by before I found this in my email box from a Frito-Lay meeting planner:

Several of us have seen your videos and we are very interested in having you come speak to us.  Would you be available on ……….?

At that moment, I smiled the ingenuity of the universe.  Its timing is always impeccable.  It is always “working behind the scenes” – which means NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS EVEN IF NOTHING APPEARS TO BE HAPPENING ON THE SURFACE.

Theme Upgrade

Roughly 40% of you use Firefox when visiting Adversity University.  You may have noticed that the comment boxes were being cut off on the far right side.  The comment numbers were also being cut off once it went into the double digits (i.e. 10, 11, 12, etc).

Thanks to Lisa Sabin-Wilson, the theme for this blog recently underwent an overhaul and because of that, your comments have been restored to its pristine beauty.  (Note:  Apparently they were not behaving this way in Internet Explorer – go figure because I rarely use it because it became way too buggy with horribly slow load times).

First Akron/Cleveland/Canton Tweet-Up Meeting Next Week!

Are you using Twitter?  If you are, you can follow me here:  www.twitter.com/sjhopson     If you’re not familiar with it, Chris Brogan wrote an excellent Newbies Guide to Twitter.

After seeing hundreds of Tweet-ups taking place across the country this summer (Twitter networking events) , I thought to myself one day, “Hey, why not create one for Akron, OH?”  With that thought in mind, I immediately contacted Corey Hammond (a.k.a. CoreyHammond on Twitter) and asked if he’d be interested in co-hosting a Tweet-up with me.  His response was swift and enthusiastic.  We got together earlier this week for the first time and planned what we were going to say and do.  We’re both very excited about it!

Thanks goes to Corey for creating an RSVP page on Facebook for next week’s event.  All the information you need to know is there.  If you don’t have a Facebook account and you want to come, you can either sign up for Facebook and RSVP on that page or contact me directly for further details.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect with even more people and potentially increase the number of new friends.   It is a very exciting time for me.

Blackberry Debacle

Two nights ago, I was happily using my “Crackberry” when suddenly the trackball refused to scroll down.  I couldn’t believe it.  Confusion turned to anger and frustration.   How could a brand new Blackberry break down so quickly?  It was only two months old!

I got on the phone and tried to track down someone at Sprint to help me.  I told Twitter about it and many of them were sympathetic but invariably told me, “Yeah, good luck,” or “I wanted to tell you this might happen but……”

“Just *&^%$ wonderful,” I thought.

I also emailed a Sprint specialist who helped me get started with my first Blackberry.  He told me to contact someone in insurance, so I did (since I am covered).  But the phone number turned out to be a recording which made things way more impersonal than I wanted.  For crying out loud, I wanted a live human being to help me get through this little crisis!

To make matters worse, this recording cut off every time I failed to enter data in a timely manner (remember, I was using the relay operator to assist me with this call).  After being cut off three times, I hung up in exasperation,  feeling rather hot and bothered.

When someone messes up my ability to communicate with the rest of the world, I instantly transform into a warrior and go into battle.  Twitterverse stood by while I ranted and raved.

After a few hours of this, I realized how ridiculous I was behaving and noticed that I wasn’t exactly following my own advice of taking control of my emotions, especially in the heat of the moment.  I stepped outside, took a deep breath and told myself, “Alright, with the way things have been going lately, this, too, shall pass and I might even experience a wonderful outcome.”

In a direct message, Twitterer Ruth Marie Sylte (a.k.a. rmsylte) wrote:  “Oh dear Stephen — despite what you are experiencing now, it is STILL a day of incredible possibilities ahead!  Rejoice in that!  ”

I took her advice (and my self-talk) to heart.  I actually believed that there was the possibility of things turning around – it wasn’t some empty, happy-lucky-go affirmation.

And you know what?

It did turn around – rather dramatically, I might add!

A manager up the rungs at Sprint advised me to visit a local Sprint store and tell them I wanted a new one.  That’s exactly what I did but I have to admit that I went in there with a bit of trepidation after reading about horrible customer service stories that seem to be so prevalent these days.

The universe must have aligned all the stars for me the moment I walked in because not only did I get the nicest, most cheerful customer service rep, but I was also given a receipt to come back in a few days to pick up my brand new Blackberry!  The extra $7 a month for insurance turned out to be well worth the investment.  Update:  I picked up the new unit yesterday (Friday) – back to normal again!

WOOT!

In retrospect, I may have been a bit too harsh on Sprint/Blackberry when I first ranted and raved about them on Twitter.  Sorry about that guys.  I’m at peace now and hope you are too.  Wink, wink.

*red faced*

Food for thought:  Cultivating the attitude of gratitude does what for you?

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On that morning, I was in my hotel room, freshly showered and comfortably sitting on the couch, using my new “Crackberry” to check emails and poke inside Twitterland before my talk.

It was the very first time I was truly feeling connected because for years, every time I left my home for a speaking engagement somewhere around the country, it was impossible for anyone to reach me until I finally arrived at the destination’s hotel.  Thanks to my new Blackberry, I now stay connected regardless of where I happen to be.

And my friends, THAT’S A GREAT FEELING!

So there I was, happily wading through emails and chatting up a storm in Twitterland when suddenly something thundered through my head.  From the moment I woke up until I sat on that couch, I had been toying with the idea of being introduced to the audience in a different, possibly more compelling way.

What if, instead of handing a typed introduction sheet to the meeting planner, I used one of the videos I brought with me to do the same job?  Wouldn’t that be more compelling?

Here’s the video I was thinking of using (if you are an RSS or email subscriber, click on the title of this article to see it):

Rumbles of excitement immediately burbled up inside me.  Another idea hit me:

Why not get some feedback from my followers at Twitterland and see what they thought of this idea?

But there was one problem.

I was using a Blackberry, not a laptop, making the search for the above YouTube video rather awkward.  And then there was the issue of copying the URL, pasting it in TinyURL and getting the shortened version of it (only 140 characters are allowed at one time).  All of this would have taken forever to do on the BB.  Besides, there wasn’t much time left before I was scheduled to give my talk.

So I did the next best thing – I went directly to Twitterland and asked for help.

First I sent a message to Kris Rowlands (a.k.a FreshFocus on Twitter) and asked if she would do everything I just mentioned in the proceeding paragraph.  All of which she did in less than a minute!

Not only that, but she was kind enough to provide the first opinion:

Good vid! Dang – u had hair! LOL. GIve it a go and see what TL has to say.

Not long afterwards, I heard from Mike Sansone (Twitter a.k.a. mikesansone) with a couple of messages:

Not only should u use video @ your events, we may also at @angelamaiers events as well! Your video is coming to Hawaii with us!

You continue to amaze & inspire. We’ve shared your bully story over & over. ( http://tinyurl.com/6ofc7z ) The video is great!!

Then Ange Recchia (Twitter a.k.a. angesbiz) of Melbourne, Australia chimed in:

Watching the video… inspiring! What is the intro for?

Ahhh… okay. I think it’s brilliant and a very good insight into who you are, where you came from and what you do now! Use it!

Well, what do you think I did after hearing those messages?

You got it!

And it was very effective.

Even the meeting planner told me at lunch afterwards that it worked (she treated me to a nice Italian restaurant just down the road from the hotel).

Food for thought:  Are you asking people for feedback on an idea and then following through on its implementation?

It’s one way to become a remarkable performer according to my friend, best-selling author Mark Sanborn, in his yet-to-be-published book that is destined to be another best-seller for him:  “The Encore Effect:  How to Achieve Remarkable Performance in Anything You Do.”  (Note:  I am mentioned on pages 26 and 27!  Pre-order yourself a copy!).

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For the first time since I began my speaking career, I’ve partnered with someone from the local Cleveland/Akron, OH area to put together a seminar that we are calling Driving Your Business to the Next Level: Inspiration and Common Sense For Business, Marketing and Life. It takes place exactly one week from today, May 21, 2008 from 8:00 am to 11:45 am but seats are limited!

This seminar was conceived months after I got to know Jim Cermak, a 20 year marketing veteran who has worked with a large variety of companies including Roadway Express, Alltel, Original Cookie Company and many others. When we met at a networking event earlier this year, we clicked immediately. Right then and there I knew he and I would be working together but didn’t know in what capacity.

Until now.

One day over coffee, a light bulb went off. We thought to ourselves, “Heck, why not pool together our talents and put together an exciting, inspiring and interactive seminar for local business owners looking to take themselves to the next level?”

I have no idea how many of you are from the immediate Cleveland-Akron, Ohio area but if you have your own business (or know someone who does) I am extending an invitation to join us next Wednesday, May 21, 2008 in a private room at Panera Bread, 13000 Tiedeman Road, Cleveland OH. Many of you have been asking me to let you know when my next speaking engagement is – well, now is your chance to finally hear me in person!

In addition to a continental breakfast (included), here’s what you can expect to hear:

• How I used the H.E.A.R. Principle to face and overcome adversity in the world of Wall Street and later become the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot.
• Stories that will inspire you to achieve a higher level of success
• Top 12 common sense marketing tips
• Real world case studies of success
• Over 50 marketing tools available to your business
• And much more!

Reserve a seat NOW and save $30 off the regular price of $79. We’re only accepting 20 people at this time. Call 216-906-4175 to reserve your spot today!

I can personally guarantee that you’ll leave the seminar in high spirits, ready to tackle anything that comes your way. Not only that but you’ll be armed with valuable marketing tips and memorable stories that will be triggered the next time you encounter obstacles in your business !

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Upclose view of MGM Hotel

Hotel From One Block Away

Stephen inside MGM Hotel Lobby

Check In MGM Hotel

View from Room – Daytime

View from Room – Nighttime

$7 Billion Construction on the Strip

Evening Stroll on the Strip

Self Portrait B4 Presentation

Partial Skyline of Vegas Strip

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This week I went to Las Vegas to give a closing keynote presentation for the Michigan-based Risk Management Institute. They sponsored a national conference for hospital CEO’s, nurses, doctors and other health care professionals.

My topic, “Transforming Adversity into Success,” was very well received and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

Since it was my first time there, I booked myself an extra night at my own expense so that I could enjoy a bit of sightseeing.

Let me tell you, it was amazing to see a bunch of people gambling at all hours! I watched with utter fascination dealers who expertly dealt the cards, laid out the chips in neat rows and then took them away in one fell swoop whenever the players lost. People from all walks of life gambled with a mixture of fun and seriousness. For them, there were no shortages of cocktails delivered by shapely, attractive women who seemed to enjoy working there. The entire gambling scene was mesmerizing for this first-time visitor!

Did I gamble, you ask me? Nah. I was content to just watch. Maybe next time.

After the presentation, I went for a swim in one of several pools behind the MGM Grand Hotel. The air was very dry and moderately hot (around the high 80′s), causing my lips to burn and crack at the corners. After I had enough of that, I took a long stroll on the strip, very much looking like a tourist, taking plenty of pictures.

Despite the so-called recession, I was surprised to see a $7 billion construction project taking place on the strip. It was fascinating to watch workers, the size of tiny ants, working several hundred feet above the ground and the cranes do their thing.

Amazing!!

I’m also very thankful that I was reunited with an old friend that I used to fly with when I was living in Michigan. Nick is now a very successful businessman who volunteered to tape my presentation on Tuesday morning. I was so grateful that I treated him to a delicious lunch at famed Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant inside the MGM Grand Hotel. The food was so good that I ended up treating myself to a fabulous Wolfgang Puck steak dinner later that night!

Note: I have several more photos for you but I am having trouble inserting them here so I’ll save them for a new post tomorrow. I’m still learning how to use the photo feature at WordPress so please bear with me. We’ve got some really good ones coming up so stay tuned!

Food for Thought: Have you been to Vegas before? If so, let us know about your experiences!

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Yikes!  Does the mere mention of those words strike fear in your heart?  If you’re like most people, it does.  (Photo Credit:  laffy4k)

These are my own observations for I have personally gone through the gamut of emotions involving the very thing many people are afraid of.  If I were a psychologist evaluating my life’s history, I would probably say I became a motivational speaker because as a child with a profound hearing loss, I missed out on a lot of late-night dinner conversations, often becoming lost in the shuffle of human interaction.   The psychologist in me says that because of that, I unconsciously set out to find a way to make up for it. 

My theory is that I gravitated to public speaking because that’s where I discovered that public speakers are in total control over the flow of information.  Everyone’s attention is riveted onto you, hopefully hanging every word you’re saying. 

It’s quite the theory, isn’t it?  Whereas as a kid, no one paid much attention to me at the dinner table but now that I am a professional speaker, I have command of hundreds, sometimes thousands of people in one room.  How cool is that?

My goal with this article is not necessarily to convince you to become a public speaker.  Instead, it is to encourage you to think about the possibility of what it can do for your own personal development should you decide to take up the challenge of doing what most people list as their #1 fear.          

Regardless of what you do with this article, I will tell you this.  Being able to get over your fear of public speaking can have a huge payoff for your career or business. Employers are always looking for candidates with excellent communication skills. Even if you aren’t in the position to use public speaking as a tool for your career, it can be a significant confidence booster. 

I once had the pleasure of watching Ann, a painfully shy woman with poor social skills, transform into a major social butterfly after taking public speaking courses.  It was an absolute miracle to witness.  There’s nothing like the feeling of giving a good speech that was well received.  But it requires the willingness to walk through your fears and risk possible embarrassment on the way. 

The moment I had my spiritual awakening on the beach in April 1996, I knew I was destined for an altogether different path.  Except for the few speeches I gave while in college, I had no idea it was part of God’s divine blueprint for me.  Other than my success on Wall Street, I didn’t feel I was much of an expert in anything.  It wouldn’t be another several years before I realized I had the right to claim expertise on overcoming adversity and achieving the impossible like I did when becoming the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot in 2006.

Like Brian Kim says, it’s all about doing the best you can with what you’ve got.   And then giving yourself a pat on the back and answering Lyman’s question, ”Are You Doing the Best You Can Do?”

TWO WAYS I GOT STARTED

Joined Toastmasters (TM) 

The first thing I did was to become a member of the Roughriders Toastmasters Club in New York City shortly before quitting Wall Street.  You can easily locate one in your town by visiting TM’s website. 

It is a place where everyone knows exactly what the others up at the podium are going through, thereby providing a friendly, supportive environment. 

Here’s what I got out of it:    

• Practiced giving prepared speeches by following guidelines to help absolute beginners become a competent speakers. 
• Got positive and constructive feedback from other members after giving a speech.
• Was frequently voted ”Best Speaker” and ”Most Improved Speaker,” a tremendous motivator to keep going (I collected a lot of blue and red ribbons in those days).    
• Learned how to think on my feet during the dreaded ”Table Topics” portion of the meetings.  The moderator would pull a question out of thin air and randomly select someone to provide a quick, succinct one-minute response.  It was NOT my favorite thing because I was never comfortable with giving off-the-cuff remarks but it prepared me well for future question and answer sessions.   
• Gave me an opportunity to enter local, state, divisional and international TM speech contests.  One year I advanced all the way up to the divisional level, winning first place in a humorous speech contest and beating out Julie Morgenstern who, years later, would go on Oprah, instantly making her a best-selling author.  She was like Clay Aiken, the second place American Idol winner who became more popular than Ruben, the guy who beat him.  But you wait Julie, you’ll see what God has planned for me, I’ll catch up to ya!  (Evil Cackling in the background)

Spoke at Service Clubs like Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions

Here’s a tip if you never, ever want to go hungry.  Service clubs are always looking for speakers in exchange for a free meal.  Yes, that’s right, you can speak for food!  It is at these meetings where you can step outside the safety confines of your TM club and get in front of real audiences, testing new materials and taking risks (like moving away from the podium for the first time).  Simply look them up in the local phone book (or google them) and then say, “I’m available to speak for food!”  Whoever answers the phone will get a big kick out of that and you’ll be booked immediately at the next available slot – trust me!      

BUT WHAT WILL I TALK ABOUT?

You may not think you have anything worth speaking about but you actually have a treasure trove from your own life’s experiences.  People LOVE real-life stories as opposed to dry, boring facts.  As soon as you learn how to weave personal experiences in your speeches, you’ll have a captive audience in the palm of your hands.  They’ll be influenced and impacted by your words simply because you cared enough to shared a piece of yourself that they can identify with.  For example, everyone loves rags to riches stories.  Do you have one?  What about stories of defeat or triumph?  Everyone has experienced some form of adversity.  How inspiring it would be for your audience if they knew that they could also overcome great odds to succeed, just like you!  

Here’s what you can do when looking for stories:

• Chicken Soup for the Soul books:  When I first started out, I was stuck for story ideas.  I had not yet learned how to pull together my own life experiences so I used some of my favorite Chicken Soup stories in the beginning.  An example would be a speech I did for the Brooklyn Kiwanis Club many years ago called You Are Making a Difference!     
• Create a file for “Major Life Experiences:”  This is where you list your biggest achievements, biggest disappointments, most embarrassing, most devastating and the funniest moments of your life, to name a few.  The moment I created this list, I couldn’t believe how fast and furious ideas sprung forth!      
• Write Short Stories:  Write out short stories for each major experience you’ve had.  The act of writing it out makes it easier for you to remember important key points during a speech.  I took this one step further and submitted them online to see how others would react to it.  That’s how I ended up publishing three different stories in three books, one of which was ”Chicken Soup for the College Soul” (i.e. Dare Take Risks!).  There are a ton of websites out there begging for short stories like heartwarmers.com and many others.  All you have to do is google “inspirational stories” and you’re on your way.      
• Interview Your Parents, Teachers:  Ask them what you were like when you were growing up.  Find out how you handled challenges back then.  This is guaranteed to trigger long forgotten memories, giving you access to even more stories for your speeches.    

HOW DO I GET RID OF THE BUTTERFLIES?

Visualize the audience with loving energy:  Draw into your mind a sea of smiling faces in the room.  If feasible, visit the location of your speech the night before and mentally bless the room with thousands of angels of light, silently affirming to yourself, ”The audience loves me and I love them back.  Their hearts are genuinely touched by my messages.”  Then just before you go to sleep, pull up your memory of the room and go through the visualization process again.  If you can’t visit the room ahead of time for some reason, create an image in your mind and project the love of energy onto your imaginary audience.  The more love you give out, the more you will get back.

Let out a Bloodcurdling Scream:  Years ago while preparing for a speech for an audience of a thousand people, I asked to be led to the basement of the building where I was to speak.  I had an idea that I wanted to try.  Upon finding myself a small abandoned room, I shut the door, took a deep breath and then let out the loudest scream I could muster.  Oh what a relief it was!  Of course, I ran the risk of scaring the hell out of someone who might think I was being murdered.  But gosh, it really worked!   

Workout:  If screaming isn’t feasible, the next best suggestion would be to wake up early on the day of the speech and give yourself a strenuous workout at the gym, go for a run or do some push-ups in your hotel room.  Work up a sweat and then take a long, hot shower.  It’ll relax your body, mind and spirit.  

One reassuring note for aspiring public speakers:  Despite the countless of professional speeches I’ve given, I will be the first of many to admit I still experience butterflies.  Not the crippling kind but perhaps the heart-pounding mixed with trepidation kind.  For as long as I am a speaker, I think it will never go away completely, regardless of how many times I decide to scream or do push-ups in my hotel room or visualize the room with loving energy.  I once heard that the moment the butterflies stop, it’s time to quit because then you’re no longer excited about what you’re doing. 

BE WILLING TO TAKE RISKS

Start with Notes at the Podium Then Move Away  -  Inches at a Time:  As a beginning speaker, you will most likely make extensive use of the podium.  It has served as a great refuge for many throbbing knees and shaky hands.  But as you gain more confidence, it’s advisable to move away from it because the podium serves as the great divide between you and the audience.  

The first time I moved away was on the night I spoke at the Kiwanis Club in Staten Island (south of Manhattan, accessible by ferry).  It was an after-dinner speech that started with me clinging onto the podium (hey, I had to warm up first!).

A few minutes into the speech, I heard a voice in my head telling me, ”Go mingle with the audience, NOW!” 

Hesitantly I squeezed the podium one last time and let go.  The security blanket was no more. 

Soon I found myself mingling with the audience, Oprah-style.  It was so liberating!  I couldn’t believe how much fun I was having.  

Then it happened.

I was more than halfway through the speech, doing rather well when suddenly my mind went blank! 

I froze on the spot, feeling my face turn beet red.  

Everyone knew what had just happened and they just sat there, waiting to see what I would do about it. 

Fortunately, I had the good sense to make light of it and threw out some kind of wisecracking self-depreciating remark, which ended up bringing down the house.  I went on to give one of my best speeches that night, learning a valuable lesson.

The lesson was this:  Most audiences, while they expect the best from you (i.e. confidence, poise, humor, authenticity), they are also quite forgiving, especially when you allow yourself to be transparent and not some high and mighty speaker looking down on them. 

Believe me, most audiences really want you to succeed.  And you will, if you give them the love and respect they deserve.   They’ll give it right back to you.

THE BIGGEST SECRET OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

It is this:  Only you know if you messed up.  Unless you say something about it, the audience has no idea what you meant to include as part of the speech.  I can’t tell you how many times I left something out but I kept right on going.  They can always ask you questions at the end of the speech or approach you afterwards.  So don’t sweat it.  No matter how many times you’ve given a speech, you’ll always leave some things out. 

THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT

For this one, I’m going to point you to a story of something that happened when giving a speech to a group of distinguished businessmen in the city of New York.  Long-time subscribers to Adversity University will remember it – the rest of you can see it at How I Survived a Most Embarrassing Experience at a Speaking Engagement Involving a Bottle of Mouthwash.  I hope you have a good chuckle with it!  Do let me know what you thought of it.

In summary, if you want to learn how to give public speeches and boost your self confidence then:

• Join Toastmasters
• Speak for Food
• Utilize Your Own Life’s Experiences for stories
• Take Risks
• Keep Going Even if You Mess Up

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InfoSource, based in Winter Park, Fla is a developer and turnkey custom solution provider of high-quality Web-based training (WBT), computer-based training (CBT), and instructor-led training (ILT) for the education, corporate and government training markets.  They have 600,000 online users!

Among some of the things I touched upon was the power of making a firm decision, accepting ourselves for who we are and understanding that regardless of what we do(whether in sales, an administrator, etc.) it’s not what happens to us that matters but how we perceive and act that determines the end result.  

I told them how I went from $16,000 in my first year as a stockbroker on Wall Street (during the early 1990′s) to $300,000 less than 4 years later.  More than half of those in attendance were in sales so this was a great fit for them.  Some were brand new hires, just getting started, while others were “sales veterans,” having been at InfoSource for quite some time.  

Stories about the “Grandmotherly Client From Hell” along with the “James Bond Lady Fiasco“ were regaled, much to their delight.  Everybody had FUN!  Each time I have the opportunity to do a professional speaking engagement and make a lasting impact on the lives of several people at once, I am gratefully blessed.  While speaking is a huge responsibility, I also have a fabulous time doing it.  It’s what I feel God has called me to do.  One of my strongest skills is the ability to connect with the audience.  Gone are the days where boring speakers could get away with hiding behind a podium and reading the speech from a script!   

In fact, it was so well received that while I was at 35,000 feet in a Boeing 717 on my way back home last night (yes I own my own jet) (okay, not yet, not yet!), Alyx, the editor of TeachMarket, wrote a glowing recommendation about my presentation.  Please go here to see her write-up.  

On other news, prior to the speaking engagement, I had been rather preoccupied with several things, mostly having to do with speaking and blogging/writing.   

On the writing side, I’ve been guest blogging for two well known bloggers, one of whom I’ve repeatedly mentioned here at Adversity University.  The other is someone who I’ve begun to develop a new blogging relationship with. 

If you’ve been with Adversity University for a while, you’ll recognize Phil, the relationship geek, from “Make It Great!”   He recently asked me to fill in at his blog as a guest writer throughout the month of October along with another blogger from Canada (Benjamin Bach, The Wealth Builder Guy) to help with the workload.  Phil needed to take a break from blogging so that he could focus on other, more pressing business and personal needs.  I’ve already written a handful of articles for him, all of which you can see at Make It Great! (hint:  look on the right side and you’ll see them under recent posts).

Alex Shalman is the new blogger friend who recently accepted my offer to guest blog for him once every two weeks.  The first article was submitted just before I left for the speaking engagement.  It was about having the courage to offend people.  Sound interesting?  Provocative perhaps?  Check it out here.

Tomorrow, I will be back to normal and posting between 2 to 3 times a week beginning with a new article called ”People CAN Read Your Mind!”  

Among other projects I have lined up for Adversity University are the following:

• creation of a contact form that will appear on the top portion of every page
• a new tab for professional speaking (with appropriate links for those who want to hire me as a speaker)
• create online bookstore listing recommended books through Amazon
• update previously existing links in articles that were brought over from the old blog (I have to go through each and every article to make sure the links in them are updated accordingly). 

Well, that’s about it.  Here’s the photo of me speaking at the InforSource headquarters in Fla.  I’m trying to get another one in here, preferably up at the top but I’m still trying to figure out how to do that.  Please bear with me!

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If you asked for help in school, you were probably called a “brown noser” or maybe a “teacher’s pet.” Perhaps you’ve heard someone say to you, “Quit bothering me and do what you’re told,” “I don’t want to hear about it,” “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “You’re so selfish, all you ever think about is yourself!”

After a lifetime of hearing those comments, we’re programmed to think we can’t ask for help or pose a question without appearing stupid. We become fearful of being met with one of those looks-that-could-kill. We learn very quickly that it’s not okay to ask stupid questions or appearing to ask for a handout.

So what happens later in life? We subconsciously hold ourselves back, afraid to ask, hoping someone will read our minds and reach out to us first.

Well, no one ever said it was easy to ask for what you want but the rewards are immeasurable if you just take that chance. No one has ever succeeded on their own – it’s impossible to. Not if you want to take yourself to the next level.

Several months ago, I hired a designer to completely overhaul my speaking website. When she was done, I realized there was something missing. I needed something that would boost my creditability as a professional speaker. After all, I charge thousands of dollars to give a speech. If you were in a position to hire me to give a motivational talk, wouldn’t you at least want the reassurance that your investment would be well worth spent? I know I would.

What was needed was a couple of video testimonials from those who were considered heavyweights within their fields who were not only well respected and well known but also heard me speak. After all, how could they say I was a good speaker with a good story if they hadn’t been at one of my speeches?

So I got to thinking who I could ask for help in that area. A couple of names immediately came to mind. They were Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines who is in great demand as a business speaker and author of critically acclaimed “Winds of Turbulence” and Mark Sanborn, another popular business speaker, blogger and national best-selling author of “The Fred Factor.”

Now, before I go any further, I want to relate to you some of my earlier experiences with asking for help. Yours truly has been accused numerous times as a youngster of being a “brown noser.” Due to my disability, I often had to ask others to repeat themselves if I didn’t understand what was being said, especially in the classroom or in social situations, only to receive a dramatic rolling of the eyes and a heavy sigh. After years of putting up with reactions like that, I eventually stopped asking because it used to be my perception that people just didn’t want to be bothered.

Boy, did I pay a heavy price for that attitude!

Little did I know that people, by nature, are generous and don’t mind being asked for assistance if given the opportunity. It certainly helps if you believe in yourself and demonstrate that you are someone with potential. People like to be associated with those who they perceive as winners. Even if you have a couple of flaws, they still want to help you because your likeability factor is pretty high on the scale. If you’re an authentic person, others can’t help but wanted to be affiliated with you. Whether or not they get anything in return (other than the satisfaction of helping a “deserving person”), they’re more than likely willing to lend you a hand.

When those two people came to mind, because of years of programming, I almost held back and didn’t ask. Thoughts like “They’re too busy,” “Don’t bother them because this would be too much trouble” immediately bombarded my mind. Fortunately, I had done enough reprogramming of the mind by that point to stop those thoughts from turning into an avalanche.

So I went ahead and boldly asked if they would be willing to do a short video testimony for my website. What helped was that I remained detached from the results. The worst that could happen was a polite, “Perhaps sometime in the future” or an outright “Thanks for thinking of me but my current schedule does not allow me the luxury of doing so, perhaps I could recommend someone else.”

Imagine my pleasant surprise when both of them replied favorably! With today’s technology, they were able to do it by using a simple video camera within the comfort of their homes, download it into a video file and send me an email attachment. That was all there was to it! You can see their video testimonials here.

Until I do a survey of clients who have hired me since those videos were uploaded, I won’t know if I was commissioned to speak solely on the basis of those video testimonials, but I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that if I hadn’t asked for their help, I might not have gotten some of those engagements! So I want to publicly thank Howard and Mark for the time and effort they took to do a video for me.

Is it easy to ask for help? Heck, no! Especially if you are asking someone whose visibility, popularity or earnings power far exceed those of your own but you won’t know until you ask.

What’s more, if there’s anything I’ve learned from asking, it’s that many of these successful people did not get to where they are today if they didn’t receive help somewhere along the line. So they really do want to help you, especially if they see you have potential. Everyone wants to be associated with a winner. Believe in yourself first and then go ask for help. Otherwise why should they believe in your potential if you don’t think you have any yourself?

Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t do it, then you won’t. Either way, you’re right!” Wow!

Food for thought: There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. If you don’t ask, you won’t get. People can’t read your mind – so why not go ahead and give it a shot? The worst they can say is “No.” How bad can that be?

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H: Have a passion
E: Entertain the possibilities
A: Act NOW
R: Remember who helped you along the way

Speaking about the H.E.A.R. Principle

Meeting people from the audience afterwards

Me and Kathryn Troutman, expert on creating resumes for Federal Government Jobs (see her website here).

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Ready for another story?

Unbeknownst to me, one of the vice presidents in charge of enrollment counselors at the University of Phoenix was in the midst of preparing for a celebratory meeting for her staff members. They had reached the magical 1,000 student enrollment number (700 students on campus and 300 online) and she wanted to acknowledge her group for their hard work.

She originally contracted with a comedy troupe to entertain on the day of the staff meeting. But right from the start she was beset with an overwhelming nagging feeling that the comedy troupe wasn’t exactly what she wanted. Whether or not she was aware of it, God was speaking to her. Fortunately, she listened to her intuition and went online in search for the right keynote speaker. Almost immediately she found my professional speaking website (http://www.sjhopson.com/).

Her eyes were drawn to one of my keynote topics (“That’s Right, Stephen!!”) that felt like a perfect fit. It’s about the impact my fifth grade teacher made on me years ago with three words and how it caused a ripple effect throughout the rest of my life. It fit like a glove because she wanted to remind everyone the impact they were making on the students, many of whom are the first within their families to attend college.

With great excitement at this unexpected discovery, she emailed me at the very last minute to check into my availability on Friday, March 16, 2007. It so happened that I was available. A speaking contract was drawn up and a flurry of emails flew back and forth to make final arrangements.

Little did I know the universe had something bigger planned for me. It would lead me to take action on an inspired thought that I had not considered before. A couple of the teachers in “The Secret” DVD said when the universe gives you a course of action to take, do it! Don’t delay, don’t doubt, just ACT with faith.

Due to the fact that we were short on time and that I require a 50% deposit to hold all speaking dates, I gave the meeting planner two options. One was to FEDEX the check and the other was to use the donation button on this blog for immediate payment (look to the right and you’ll see a yellow PayPal decal).

To my surprise, not only did she opt to use the PayPal donation button but she paid the entire speaking fee two days ahead of time! It was unprecedented, taking me completely by surprise. This is where the universe inspired me to create a new payment center on my speaking website so that future clients have the option of electronically paying my speaking fees in full or at least with a 50% deposit prior to the engagement.

Wow, why didn’t I think of that before?

Clearly, this was a message from the universe telling me several things. One was how to increase my prosperity. Two, the fact that this client was willing to pay the entire fee upfront, sight unseen, was an indication that I continue to be in sync with the universal spiritual principles. Three, it was telling me that I am attracting other people with integrity because what you give out, you get back.

Despite these messages, the universe was not still not done with me yet. It had more surprises up its sleeve.

Not only did I have a lot of fun with the audience (I invited a staff member up onto the stage to perform an act, upon which I gave a free copy of the “heartwarmer” book containing the story about Mrs. Jordan), but they also gave me an unexpected standing ovation. Several people approached me afterwards simply because they wanted to hug me. Others wanted some advice. A few told me they were going to share this story with their families at home. Some even asked for an autograph!

It was a most amazing day and it all happened because the meeting planner had a nagging feeling and acted upon it. Her actions triggered a series of events that I could never have orchestrated on my own. It was the law of giving and attraction at work in its finest hour!

This is another example of how you receive in other ways and not necessarily from the recipient of your gifts. By consistently giving and tapping into the law of attraction, you draw to yourself other people and circumstances of like-energy.

Food for thought: Consciously adopting and integrating the law of giving and attraction opens the way for miracles to happen. Why do you think the meeting planner had a nagging feeling? How do you think she was led to my site? Do you think any of that was an accident?

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