In the first interview, I called him a “lightworker” because he’s pursuing his passion of helping the working world feel a sense of purpose that comes with better interpersonal relations with one another.

The corporate world sorely needs this.    All you have to do is read the paper about how employees are seen as “expendable” by top management who seem to think everyone’s replaceable, especially during economic downturns.  Believe me, Michael has his work cut out for him!

If you haven’t seen the first part, let me invite you to read up on it before you continue by going to Stephen Hopson Interview with Michael Lee Stallard, Part I of II.

He’s back at Adversity University so let’s call him out for the last time.  Ready?  1 2 3, COME ON OUT MICHAEL, WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU!

(He comes bounding out with full vigor and enthusiasm)

Michael, welcome back to our community!  Time sure has flown since the last time you were here!  Let’s get started, shall we?

12.  At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity.  How have you dealt with adversity in your life?  Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.

The night Katie”s surgeon told me she had cancer and it was advanced, I felt powerless.  I didn’t know what to do.  When we went to visit Katie in the ICU, one of my young daughters fainted and the other broke down sobbing. Our hearts were broken.  We love Katie so much.  The next morning when I entered Katie”s room, one of my best friends, Jason Pankau, had already arrived and was sitting there beside her hospital bed.  Jason rushed to our aid.  It was just the beginning of an outpouring of affection.

The connections we had with people were encouraging and healing.  They lifted our spirits.

The other challenge I faced was dyslexia and low self-esteem when I was a teenager. My parents’ love and encouragement, tutors, teachers, sports coaches and mentors who encouraged me helped me learn and grow in ability, knowledge, wisdom and confidence.  I could never have done it alone.  Once again, connections made the difference.

Stephen’s Response: I can certainly see how Katie’s bout with cancer was what triggered a series of events in your life that led you to do what you’re doing today!  What’s interesting about your experience is that rather it being “horrible,” (which sometimes acts as a catalyst for some people), it was quite uplifting, inspiring you to “pay it forward.”   Some people find their life’s purpose after going through a painful experience.  Like the man who was abused as a child who goes on to become a child advocate or something like that.  In your case, it was an uplifting, positive experience that led you to where you are today.  Interesting!

13.  What would you say was the defining moment that forever changed the course of your life?  For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

There has been no single defining moment in my life but a lot of inflection points that include developing my faith in God, meeting and falling in love with my wife Katie, being a parent to two wonderful daughters, Katie”s cancer experience, moving to the New York City area and meeting a extraordinary diversity of people, writing Fired Up or Burned Out, and becoming a speaker.

Stephen’s Response: You certainly have a treasure chest full of life changing moments!  But if I were to put a vote to it, I’d say your wife’s cancer was the biggest catalyst.  But then, that’s my objective opinion.  I’m not you, so I couldn’t say I am right with this observation but you’ve expanded on your wife’s cancer situation on a number of times throughout the interview, which leads me to reach this conclusion.

14.  What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why?

Peter Drucker”s memoir Adventures of a Bystander:  His interests and values resonated with me

John Gration, one of my spiritual mentors:  His character and wisdom encouraged me.

and Thomas Merton”s prayer (see below):  His message and humility inspired me

Thomas Merton’s Prayer

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, Thomas Merton’s prayer really struck me deeply.  It definitely resonated with me – thanks for sharing it with us.  I’m sure someone reading today’s interview will find this prayer to be something that was sorely needed at the exact moment.

15.  Name the top 5 articles you’ve written that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from.

Only one.

“The Connection Culture Manifesto” published by changethis.com and downloadable for free at this link: http://www.changethis.com/44.06.ConnectionCulture

It has been downloaded thousands of times. The award-winning New York Times business journalist William J. Holstein wrote that it reflected “great wisdom.”  His words were very encouraging to me.

Stephen’s Response: I agree with William Holstein that this particular manifesto reflects great insights of wisdom.   A person of that stature making a comment like that would make any person’s day!  Congratulations!

16.  What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? (If you’re an atheist, no problem, substitute what you would like your tombstone to read).

There were times you pleased me.  For all the times you didn’t, you”re forgiven.

Stephen’s Response: How sweet!  And what a relief too to know that we’re all forgiven, regardless of what we chose to do while we were here.  That’s the definition of an unconditionally loving God.  I don’t believe in a God that judges.  But most religions would have you believe that you will be punished and banished to an everlasting hell.  The only hell that exists is the life we make for ourselves with incorrect choices.

17.  Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear.  Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

I love the sound of the running brook behind my home and the waves coming ashore at our local beach on the Long Island Sound.  I also love music.

I detest hate speech.

Stephen’s Response: You have a running brook behind the house?!?   You’re living in my dream house!  I’ve always visualized myself living in a house with a running brook or river in the backyard.  How sweet that must be!

Hate speech hurts everyone, even the speaker who spouts forth the hateful words.

18.  We all have our likes and dislikes.  What would you say turns you on and what turns you off?  Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

I love gathering with great friends for a good meal and stimulating conversation. I dislike long winters.

Stephen’s Response: Hahaha, were you reading my mind about long winters?  I’m doing the best I can in dealing with the extreme cold by actually facing it.  How?  By bundling up and taking long walks on nature’s pathways nearby my home.  I always come back home invigorated.   But I am looking forward to spring.

Gathering with friends for good food, drink and conversation is always a morale booster.  Nothing like enjoying good company!

19.  What is your favorite word?  Least favorite?

Joy.  Hopelessness.

Stephen’s Response: Interesting choice of words.   One signifies pure happiness while the other represents crushing defeat without any chance of recovery.

20.  What’s next for Michael Lee Stallard?

More speaking around the country and writing for The Economic Times in India and for other publications.  My wife and I are attending a lot of high sporting events to see our teenage daughters cheerleading.

Stephen’s Response: You are certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you, Mr. Stallard?  That’s awesome!  Best wishes for continued success as a national speaker.  Perhaps one day we’ll both be speaking at the same event?  You never know!

21.  What’s the biggest, wildest and seemingly impossible dream you’d like to achieve in your lifetime?

To know that my work had a major impact on helping improve connection in organizations worldwide and made people happier, healthier, and more productive.

Stephen’s Response: That’s a very admirable vision you have for yourself and I see you doing that easily and effortlessly.   You have found a need and have worked diligently to close the gap between the people who work for various organizations.  You are making a huge difference because you’re doing a vitally important job.  Without a sense of connection inside these organizations, they’re destined to fall apart because without its people, the organization can’t do much of anything.

22.  Finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?

1. My blog: www.michaelleestallard.com
2. My book: www.FiredUpOrBurnedOut.com
3. My company: www.EPluribusPartners.com

Well, that’s the end – let’s give Michael a rousing applause and thank him for his time with us today!  I hope you all enjoyed his time with us as much as I did.  He was certainly someone with a different background, wasn’t he?  I enjoy bringing you a wide range of people to get to know more.  You can expect me to continue doing just that!

Until next time, enjoy the rest of the week…….

a

Not only that but like I did, he quit Wall Street to pursue a calling.  This interview has an interesting twist to it because I see him as a lightworker disguised in a business suit.  He once worked as a high powered executive for financial giants like Morgan Stanley before saying goodbye to Wall Street.  It was his wife cancer that triggered it but not for reasons you think it did.

Let me just say one more thing.  If you were to look at his photo, you would not notice anything out of the ordinary like a disability right?  Well, let me give you hint – Tom Cruise also has it.

I’m VERY EXCITED to have him here and so without further ado, let’s call him out from the “green room!!!

Mr. Michael Lee Stallard, COME ON OUT AND GREET US!

1.  One of my favorite questions when I want to learn about someone is by asking them to give me their 5 second introduction when I pose the question:  “What do you do for a living?”

I speak, train and coach leaders about how to develop the “Connection Cultures” that are necessary for individuals and organizations to thrive.   Connection Cultures help make people feel connected to their leaders, their organization’s identity, the people they work with, and to the work they perform.

Stephen’s Response: Michael, whether or not you intend this to be of a spiritual topic, in my view, this is exactly what you’re doing with this platform.  Let me explain.

On a deep level, all of us are desperate to feel connected, especially in the workplace.   More than ever, employees are feeling disconnected from one another and their management because the communication gap has gotten wider.  Employees are seen as “dispensable” in this day and age, shattering any remnants of a connection that might have once existed.  The “us versus them” mentality pervades many workplaces, indicating a great need for healing and the  restoration of trust.

In my view, you are performing a valuable spiritual service without being blatant about it.  Through your work, you are doing a very important job of connecting hearts in the workplace.  BRAVO!

2.  Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at your website/blog.

I’n recent years I learned that I’m an achievaholic. When my wife Katie successfully battled cancer in 2003 and again in 2004, we experienced an outpouring of “connection” in the form of love, encouragement and support from our family and friends. It was life-changing for me.  It made me realize something I”d been missing in life and that was missing in the workplace: human connection.  I”ve dedicated my life”s work to helping increase connection in the workplace and in life outside of work.  Connection helped heal Katie.  It helps everyone experience more joy, productivity and prosperity in life.

Stephen’s Response: Haha, I can certainly relate Michael.  An achievaholic?  Gosh yes!  I’ve always been curious to know why some of us are like that while others are not?

I read about your wife’s cancer in one of your publications (not sure which one it was but it was POWERFUL).  I can see why the outpouring of connection you felt at the cancer center was life changing because there you and Katie were, probably scared out of your wits, not sure where to turn or whether the doctors would be caring enough.

We’ve all heard stories about apathetic doctors and nurses who have been trained to distance themselves from their patients.    They appear stoic and uncaring – to them, they’re just performing their duties and moving on to the next patient.

3. How long have you been at E Pluribus Partners?

I left Wall Street in 2002 to found E Pluribus Partners (www.EPluribusPartners.com).

Stephen’s Response: Hmmm…you know I also left Wall Street to pursue my dreams of becoming a speaker, author/writer and pilot.  It was a scary time for me.   What about you?  What led you to the moment when you decided to call it quits?    How did you prepare for it?  (you can answer in the comment section if you’d like)

4.  How did you come up with that very broadly appealing title of ”E Pluribus”?

It is a very unique name! E Pluribus Unum is the motto of America.  It’s a Latin phrase that means “out of many, one.” Creating a sense of community, of “oneness,” in the workplace is key to improving employee engagement, productivity and innovation.  The forces of connection create that feeling of unity.

Stephen’s Response: One of things I love about doing interviews is that I am always learning something new. Until now, I had never heard of the phrase “E Pluribus.”  The Latin meaning is a perfect fit for what you’re now doing to make a difference.  I love it!   It’s fitting and all encompassing.

As I’ve often stated here in this blog, I believe the planet is moving towards the light and there are many lightworkers who are occupying different sectors of the world in different positions each of whom are bringing their own talents to help humanity connect on a deeper level.  Even though you don’t label yourself as a lightworker, I do see you as one.  You just happen to wear a business suit and deal with high powered executives and their organizations.

5.  What is the real reason you started ”E Pluribus Partners”?

In 1998 I was hired as the chief marketing officer of Morgan Stanley”s global wealth management group.   I started experimenting with some practices to engage our client-facing employees and the practices we put in place helped us double our revenues in about 2.5 years. I knew we had discovered something special and that I needed to eventually leave Wall Street to focus full time on developing these ideas and best practices.  Prior to joining Morgan Stanley, I was head of business and product development for a mutual fund company, was an investment banker, and started out in a marketing role in the tech industry. During those years I weathered several mergers and acquisitions and experienced corporate cultures that were healthy and those that were toxic.

Stephen’s Response: I can relate to being immersed within the toxic corporate environment.  It drained all of my energy and enthusiasm.  It is one reason untold thousands, perhaps millions, have left Corporate America in search of a better way to contribute to the world.

6.  One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed is because as a result of you contacting me (you had read an interview I did with Alexander Kjerulf, the Chief Happiness Officer in Denmark), I’ve gotten to know you more through your written account in dealing with cancer.  You wrote that story with a level of zeal and authenticity that drew me in.  My goodness, not only is there positivity in your writings but you seem like someone I’d invite into my home for dinner even though we’ve never met.  How did you become like this?

Thank you, Stephen. I was very fortunate to be born in a home with a great environment.  My parents care for people and they are encouraging and optimistic. Parents have a huge effect on their kids.  The Connection Culture applies to families too, not just workplaces.

Stephen’s Response: Yes, parents have a HUGE effect on their kids.  I was at a party recently, talking to a science teacher.  I love talking to teachers because of the impact my fifth grade teacher made on my life eons ago.  We were talking and I bought up the question of “What are the kids and their parents like nowadays?”  (He had been teaching for over 20 years so I was curious about his observations).

He said, “Parents nowadays are lax with their responsibilities in terms of monitoring the child’s school progress.  They expect the school to handle everything ranging from discipline to doing their homework.”    “On top of that,” he continued, “many kids come from broken homes.”   No wonder we have problems in the schools.  There needs to be a connection between parents, teachers and the kids.

Hey, maybe you could do that next!

7.  If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are?

My hope is that I will have an overall positive effect on the lives of others from my relationships with them and from my work, and that my life will bring Truth, Beauty, Goodness and Love to the lives of others.

Stephen’s Response: I love it!  “Truth, beauty, goodness and love.”  You are definitely a lightworker disguised in a business suit. 

8.  What is the best advice you’ve ever received and given?

A life not lived for others is a life not lived.

Stephen’s Response: Hmm..interesting.   Sounds like what you’re saying is “living life without serving others is a life not lived.”  Would that be about right?

9. What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?

The fact that a dyslexic kid who had a fear of speaking developed a love for reading, writing and speaking has a certain irony and, I suppose, qualifies as an achievement.

Stephen’s Response: That is amazing!  Did you have a hard time in school because of this disability?  Were you labeled as slow by the teachers?  What about the other kids?   Did they make fun of you?

I can see how being dyslexic would cause you to fear public speaking.  Once a dyslexic, always a dyslexic, right?  How do you deal with it as an adult?  (You can comment down below).

Michael, do you think you became an overachiever because of your “hidden” disability?  I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was “yes” because I can relate.  Being deaf and having people tell me throughout my life that I couldn’t do this or that actually became one of the greatest motivators for me.  I wanted to prove them wrong.  Of course, I now know that isn’t necessary as I need not prove anything anymore.

10.  We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

When my achievaholic beast gets out of its cage, I can be myopic and self-absorbed.

Stephen’s Response: Forgive me for laughing for I am not laughing AT you but WITH you because I can sure relate!  We all have egos which need taming every once in a while.  Some say the ego needs to be eliminated but I think it serves some useful purpose.  Like electricity or fire, it can be used for the greater good or evil.   It’s up to us.

11.  What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life that, at the time had you mortified, but you now freely share with others?   And what was the lesson you learned from the incident?

I had a flawed sense of love when I was young that was manifest in several unhealthy relationships.  I was seeking affirmation and twisting who I was in order to get the affirmation I longed for.  Experience and self-reflection have given me a much greater understanding about who I am and what I believe.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, this is POWERFUL.  I was on a cable TV show this morning (local) and the host was asking me what my challenges in life have been.   Among some of mine was how I cared too much about what other people thought.  As a result of that, I became someone who I was not, just for the sake of “fitting in.”

I bet you incorporate this lesson in your teachings because it is so easy for us to twist things around to get the affirmation we want from others.

We should celebrate our uniqueness!

(Turning to the audience):

Didn’t I tell you this was going to be an interesting interview?  Thank you Michael for coming to Adversity University.   I surely enjoyed getting to know you better and look forward to having you back for Part II next week.    Thank you so much for being transparent with us!

Until next time, enjoy the rest of the week.  For those of you braving bitter cold weather, stay warm!

a

I just haven’t been inspired to write a gratitude post even though I’m very grateful.  I came off a fantastic year in 2008 and you would think I’d be charging into 09 with full vigor and enthusiasm.   Well, sort of but not fully.  Ever been there?

One thing I do have going, which I am exceedingly grateful, is my raw food journey which continues to keep me in good shape with plenty of energy.   Normally, when I’m in a funk like this, I forgo the gym and pig out with junk food like there’s no tomorrow.  Thankfully that isn’t the case this time around.  I continue to feel inspired to workout and stay on the raw food train.

It’s not the first time I’ve been in a funk – I’ll tell you how I snap out of it in a future article.   But right now, we have Michael Chase back for the second part of his interview with me.  If you didn’t read the first part, please do that before delving into Part II because you’ll have a much better understanding of who he is and what he’s all about.   Go ahead and see it at Stephen Hopson Interview with Michael J. Chase of the Kindness Center, Part I of II.

Okay, now that we’re all caught up, let’s call Michael from the green room.  MICHAEL!  WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU MY FRIEND.  COME ON OUT!!!!

Let’s get started with the first question.

8. We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

I’d say my front is the darker side. I always forget to roll over when lying out in the sun.   Oh, wait, did you mean like an evil side?   O.k, seriously, my dark side is anytime I think I am bigger than my message.   Early on, it was easy to get caught up in the spotlight and let that cinderblock on my shoulders, called an ego, convince me that I was so important.   I now understand that it’s not really about me.   I’m just the delivery guy.   Do I want to become famous, get on Oprah, sell millions of books…no.    Do I want the message of kindness to become Beatle-Mania like famous, get on Oprah, and sell millions of books?   You better believe I do.

Stephen’s Response: There’s a big difference between the message you’re delivering and the messenger.  A friend told me once, “just focus on helping others, serve them and everything else will fall into place.”  That means letting the ego take a backseat, not an easy feat.  I can identify with this myself.    The way I do it is by being humble.  While I certainly share my achievements, I also make a point that I stumble and fall like everyone else.

9. What would you say was the defining moment (personal “tipping point” per sey) that forever changed the course of your life?  For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

My father’s suicide was a moment that forever changed my life.   It was especially difficult because after 30 years of struggling with our relationship, we were just becoming close.   I had finally found a place in my heart to forgive him, while he had worked so hard at being a better dad.   Losing him that way just devastated me.

That experience now serves as a major source of inspiration for me.    Helping people discover joy and meaning in life allows me to feel connected to my father.    If I can ensure that even one person never experiences the pain he went through…I will feel that I have lived a meaningful life.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, I had no idea!  You mostly hear of sons and daughters taking their own lives but parents?  I cannot imagine what you had to deal with in the aftermath.   I’m glad to see this incident sparked a major source of inspiration for you.

That’s usually what happens – a major tragedy happens and a person most affected by it does something about it.  Look at John Walsh of TV’s “Most Wanted.”   He lost a son to kidnapping and murder, inspiring him to catch the bad guys on TV.   I am going to go out on a limb here and say this:  We all come here with a pre-birth agreement to carry out certain missions.  For instance, I firmly believe I chose to be deaf in this lifetime so that my soul could experience growth lessons.  Everyone I’ve ever met has been part of that agreement – they all had their roles to play – the teacher, the bully, the father, the mother, etc.  You and your father agreed to carry out the roles that were played so that you could go on and carry out the kindness message to the world.    The suicide of your Dad was part of that plan.

Wow, I can’t believe I opened up like that!  Well, that’s my belief from a larger cosmic point of view.  It might strike some of you as odd or strange but it all makes sense to me.  We each have a cosmic role to play – this is precisely why we should never judge another person because we really don’t know the make-up of his/her pre-birth agreement.

10. What do you do to maintain good health?  Do you follow a certain diet regiment?  My fans, friends and followers all know about my raw food journey that I started in September 2008 and it’s been nothing short of a major miracle.  I lost almost 30 lbs, have more energy than ever and feel closer to divinity.  This has led a change of focus, leading me down the path of health and wellness that I would never have considered before.  So it’s only natural I’d ask you this question.

I begin each day with yoga, meditation and then a run.    Last year I became a vegetarian and have found tremendous health and spiritual benefits from that decision.    Sure I go a little crazy with sweets during the holiday season, but the way I see it, I’m NOT taking any chances that my mom’s peanut butter fudge is not in the afterlife!

Stephen’s Response: In that order?  Every day?  That’s great!  Congratulations on your decision to become a vegetarian and finding health and spiritual benefits from it.   The same thing happened with my raw food journey that I began in September.  Not only have I lost 25 to 30 pounds (depending on the day I step on the scale, hahaha), but I’ve also gotten closer to my inner spirit, listening to it more often.  I feel closer to Mother Earth and truly care about her well being.  I’ve come into more information about my spiritual journey and those of others that I wasn’t aware of before.  I’m attracting spiritually grounded people as well as business opportunities that align nicely with my newfound health awareness.

BTW, your mom’s peanut butter fudge sounds delicious!

11. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of  changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity.  How have  you dealt with adversity in your life?  Give us specific examples of  adversity and what you did to overcome them.

We have been given a tremendous gift in life, the power of choice. I give a program based on that topic alone and how our choices determine not only our lives, but also the fate of all beings.    Each day, I know that I am 100% responsible for creating my life and a better world. No blame allowed.    Sure I get frustrated with the destructive choices that other people make, but complaining and being “against” them does not solve the problem.     I make it my intention to be “for” rather than “against.”    For example, even though I watched drugs and alcohol destroy my family, I am not against substance abuse…I am for healthy living.    Even though I have had friends experience the horrors of war, I am not against war…I am for peace.    Being for gives you tremendous power.    Being against however weakens your mind, body and spirit. In a poetic nutshell: “whatever you resists, persists, whatever you are for, you adore.” Wow, that’s not half bad!    I’m a poet and didn’t even know it! I better stop there. 

Stephen’s Response: That’s it.  The power of choice.  Even when you don’t do anything and sit on the couch, you’ve made a choice.  Isn’t that amazing?  Every single thing you do, say or think is a result of a choice you made.  When you accept that as being true, then you’re so much closer to the awareness of taking total responsibility for things that happen to you.    There’s nothing more freeing than saying, “You know, you’re right, I messed up.”   That usually shuts up the person who wants to blame you because you’ve just destroyed that person’s ammunition supply!   It’s fun to watch actually!

You make a very important point about the power of being for something rather than against something.  Remember Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say NO!” drug program?  When she got millions of people to go against drugs, what happened?  Did drug usage went up!   What would have been a better solution would have been to focus on health and wellness because the more you focus on something, the more power you give it regardless of whether the focus is on something good or bad.

Let me use my own personal experience with smoking cigars as an example.  When I began the raw food diet, did I make a goal of mine to stop smoking cigars?  No.  I just focused on health and wellness and the 10 plus years of smoking stopped as a natural byproduct of my focus on taking better care of myself!   For those of you who don’t know me, I LOVED cigars.  I was obsessed with having at least one a day!  But a few months after I went raw, the desire to light up simply vanished.   This was tested when I recently visited my brother’s for the holidays.  My Dad was out in the backyard smoking a cigar while I was playing with the dogs.   I was surprised to see how I had no desire to light up even though the smell of cigar smoke was both sweet and enticing.  The desire was GONE.  And not because I decided to quit smoking on purpose.

12. What is your favorite word?  Least favorite?

I really believe that words have very little power without intent or tonality.    It’s not what you say, but rather where the words come from.    You can make almost any word beautiful if it comes from a kind heart.    You can also destroy beautiful words with sarcasm and unkind tones.    Speak from the heart and any word can be love…

Stephen’s Response: Most of my readers know about the fifth grade teacher story where 3 words were uttered, forever changing my life.  She had a kind heart that made a big difference.

You’re right – words by themselves don’t really have any power except the meaning you attach to them.  Or the intent behind them.    I agree – “speak from the heart and any word can be love.”    Very true.

13. What was the most embarrassing moment of your life that you now look back at and laugh, cry or smile?  What was the lesson(s) you learned?

Having to give a presentation on “preventing teen pregnancy” in high school definitely makes it high on my list of embarrassing moments.    Oh, and the lesson I learned…a turkey baster and condom are not the best choice for props.

Stephen’s Response: Moooohahahaha.  A turkey baster and condom?  As props?  Oh Lord, how funny!  I hope you talk about that in your speeches because people love it when speakers poke fun at themselves.  It makes them more human and “relatable.”

14. What 3 books, blogs, mentors or other sources have influenced you and why?  (ONLY THREE IN TOTAL)

Most of Wayne Dyers work has been a big inspiration in my life.    Although other teachers inspired much of his work, his delivery really worked well for me.    Ram Dass has also been a wonderful teacher in my life.    His wit, sense of humor, and beautiful philosophies, have had a big impact on my style of speaking. I’m a “speak from the heart” kind of guy.    My presentations are never even close to being professionally or technically perfect, but what you do get is the real me.    Too many presenters forget to be human on stage.    I fall in love with everyone in the audience so being intellectual doesn’t work for me.    Showing love and compassion for everyone in front of you is the key to an authentic presentation.

Stephen’s Response: I just wanted to point out your photo to the left.  Do you see where your hands are?  They’re over the heart area.   Just by looking at it I can tell you were speaking passionately from the heart.  I like how you were dressed casually.    I rarely wear a business suit these days.  Only once in a while it’s appropriate to.    Clothes don’t make the man, you know?  Yes, I know first impressions count but I think how you carry yourself speaks even louder.

I agree – show love and compassion is the key to giving authentic presentations.  It’s the only way to get your message across.

15. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Hey! Your mom just made a batch of peanut butter fudge! Come on in and stay for an eternity or two!”

Stephen’s Response: So does that mean when I get there, I can get a sample of her peanut butter fudge?  LOL.    “An eternity or two” brought a smile to my face.   The funny thing about “an eternity” is that apparently it goes by in the blink of an eye, so to speak.

16. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear.  Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

This may seem strange…but I love the sound of silence.    I have discovered gorgeous qualities to silence through meditation.    It has a voice of it’s own and brings me tremendous peace.

The sound I despise?    A ringing cell phone during a deep conversation with a friend.

Stephen’s Response: Interesting you like the sound of silence.  Well, we could trade places for a day, if you’d like!  You’ve inspired me to take up meditation more often.  I love that feeling of peace you speak of.   I don’t always have it but when I do, wow, it’s the most amazing, beautiful, calming and reassuring feeling.   Your mouth literally curves up into a smile without effort, all day long.  People can’t help but smile back at you and wonder why you’re looking so peaceful.  They notice something about you but can’t quite put their finger on it.  I love that!

A ringing cell phone during a deep conversation with a friend is similiar to someone approaching me and interrupting a conversation I’m having with someone.  Often times in order not to break train of thought during the conversation, I’ll put up my finger to signal to the other person that I’m not done yet.   It’s my way of staying focused on the other person and giving him/her all of my attention.   Too many people let distractions like that interrupt the conversation.

17. We all have our likes and dislikes.  What would you say turns you on and what turns you off?  Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

Likes…

I know this probably seems too obvious, but sincere, kindhearted people just make me glow.    Whether it’s outstanding customer service or a stranger on the street smiling at me, kind people simply make me fall in love with life.

Dislikes…

Well, you probably already guess it, but mean-spirited, unkind behavior just kills me.    Whenever I see it, it’s as if something sharp is being driven through my heart.

Stephen’s Response: Interesting responses!   Who doesn’t like to be treated kindly?  Have you ever had an irate person suddenly calm down after you’ve shown kindness, despite the verbal lashing you just received from that person?  It’s a most amazing transformation to witness.  The other person immediately (although not always) feels the love and backs down.   Sometimes they trip over themselves and apologize profusely for their “outburst” citing “a bad hair day” or something like that.

19.  What’s the biggest, boldest dream you have for yourself Michael?   In other words, using inspiration from the movie, “The Bucket List” (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freedman, 2007), what’s on your bucket list?

It’s simple: Change the world.     My life’s mission is to inspire kindness as a way of life.    If enough of us begin to radiate kindness in all of our thoughts, words and actions, we will completely change the consciousness of this planet.

But if that doesn’t work out, a starting position on the Red Sox would be cool…

Stephen’s Response: Well, Michael, you are well on your way to doing just that!  I found your mission to resonate with my soul and am so thankful you found me after which I couldn’t wait to invite you to be interviewed here.

You are indeed a major lightworker, paving the way for more light on the Earth.  Like you said, if enough of us radiate our inner light in the form of kindness, compassion and love to the rest of the world, it will heal.  In fact, I believe that’s what is happening right now.  The dark forces of this world are rapidly receding while the light is taking on bigger and bigger portions.  The more lightworkers we have, the more the planet and its occupants will heal.

18. And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?

The Kindness Center

Well, folks we are at the end of yet another inspiring and thought provoking interview!  Thank you Michael for coming to Adversity University.    I know that everyone who took the time to read both parts of our interview were touched on some level.   It’s impossible not to be!   Just looking at your photos is enough to demonstrate the power of kindness in your eyes.   You were meant to travel this path and I wish you all the best!

Folks, I owe you a gratitude post, I know.  It’s coming.  Hang on tight and enjoy the rest of the week.

Oh yes, don’t forget to perform random acts of kindness.  Here’s a list to get you started:

1. Hold the door open for the person behind you to come inside the store.
2. Compliment someone on his/her new haircut or at least make a mention of it with “Did you get a haircut?”
3. Pay the toll of the car behind you.
4. Visit someone in a nursing home.
5. Bake cookies for your next door neighbor for no apparent reason.
6. Wipe off the snow on your neighbor’s car.
7. Give up your airline seat for someone who needs to go to a specific destination for a family emergency.

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Folks, Happy New Year!

Yes, I’ve been missing in action but don’t worry.  I’ll swing back into the groove.   I didn’t do the gratitude post last week not because I wasn’t grateful.  I actually have a huge list that I’m saving for later but after spending a fabulous week with my brother, his family and my folks for the holidays, I came home and degenerated into a cocoon for two reasons.

The first was that I was unexpectedly hit with a nasty cold, throwing me completely for a loop.   The cold was more persistent than I expected and nothing I did seemed to help.   It was one of those things that left me scratching my head, “WTHeck?”   Not even the self-administered healing treatments, the raw foods, or the  vitamins helped.    I finally came to the conclusion that my body would recover on its own time.  And it did – five days later!    Such a stubborn body!

Not only did I get sick but to be honest, I just didn’t feel inspired to write.   It was more important for me to curl up and go into remission and get re-connected with my inner spirit.    I spent some quiet time (for those of you who know me, when is it NOT quiet for me?  LOL) re-examining my spiritual urgings and re-evaluated things from a professional and personal standpoint.   I read books and found some interesting spiritually-related information online that I will tell you about in a future article.

I also wondered why the heck I got sick since I had been eating mostly fruits and vegetables for the last 4 to 5 months.   It puzzled the heck out of me.   But after reading about other people’s experiences, I learned that hey, we’re human.  I also learned that I might have experienced “delayed detoxification” of the foods I ate while at my brothers.

While I managed to eat substantially raw over the holidays (I even brought my Vita-Mix!), I also ate small portions of SAD food, curious to see what would happen.    Not once did I get sick – not at all.   In fact, I was fine the whole week!    But on my first morning back in Ohio, I woke up to a stuffy nose, mucus on the throat and found myself coughing!   A nasty cold was wading its way through me and I knew it.

Uh-oh.

Okay, enough about me – Michael is here and I want to turn the spotlight on him.    So I’ll stop now and get to the business at hand.

Oh WAIT (palms extending upward like a traffic cop), before I do that, I think it’s fair to tell you how we “met.”    How it happened was divine timing, let me tell you.

After the incredibly successful interview with Lance of Jungle of Life (the last part of our interview generated over 50 comments!!!), I was wondering where to go from there.

A moment ago, I mentioned that some of the reading I had done since coming back home from the holidays was spiritually related.  I was led to a site that opened my eyes about why everything has been happening in the way it has.  I’m talking about the massive fallout in the financial markets, greedy executives falling from their perches and politicians getting caught red handed with “pay for play” schemes.

All of this has to do with how the earth and its inhabitants are drastically raising its vibration toward the light.  The dark forces are rapidly falling out of favor.    Those who gained their wealth through unethical/greedy means are finding themselves in dire straits.    All of the earthquakes, forest fires and hurricanes are the Earth’s way of cleansing itself to make way for the light to gain more prominence.   That means lightworkers of the world are gaining more of a foothold because they are aligning with increasingly higher earth vibrations.    It’s a fascinating theory that very much resonates with me.

With this information, I went looking for someone new to interview and that’s when the universe brought Michael J. Chase to my attention.   It arrived in the form of a simple, innocent email from him, telling me how much he had been enjoying my blog posts and how they’ve inspired and uplifted him.    It was short, sweet and genuine.    Of course, that piqued my interest.   Who was this guy?  What did he do for a living?  I immediately went to his site.   After spending several minutes roaming around his site, I knew I had a perfect match for the Stephen Hopson Interview Series.

So, let’s get with it – LET’S WELCOME MICHAEL J. CHASE!!

1. One of my favorite questions when I want to learn about someone is by asking them to give me their 5 second introduction when I pose the question:  “What do you do for a living?”

I guess I’d have to say that my “professional title” is an inspirational speaker…but to be honest, I don’t feel like I have a job.   I truly believe that the key ingredient to living an authentic life is doing something that inspires you while creating joy for others.   Our career choices are simply vehicles, which reveal our life’s purpose – Service, Compassion, Kindness and Love.   Taking something that you are passionate about and contributing to the lives of other people is the surest path to happiness.

Stephen’s Response: Your response is befitting of a light-worker, you know that?  I admire how you’ve found your calling while bringing joy and kindness to others.  You bet that’s living an authentic life!  How could it not be?  What could be more genuine than that?  Isn’t that what we’re here to do?  To provide service?   Even the Bible has something to say about that!

Yes, I agree that taking something you are passionate about and contributing to the lives of other people is the path to happiness.  In fact, what you’re doing is actually helping me re-evaluate my goals for 2009, did you know that?!?!   Yes, that’s right Michael!  You are already making a difference in MY LIFE and the interview has barely begun!   I am so inspired by what you doing that I want to do what you’re doing too – spreading kindness and love.

My friend and hydrotherapist Linda Clifton said to me shortly before I left town for the holidays, “It’s important to frame your mind in such a way that you think more about being of service to others and the money will take care of itself.”    While I’ve known that intellectually, it wasn’t until YOU came onto my radar and rocked my world with what you’re doing.    God was using Linda to plant that seed in my mind because He knew you would come along and knock me out!

2. Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at ”The Kindness Center.”

Although she’d never admit it, my mother has been instrumental in my effort to “change the world.”   If it were not for her love and protection during my childhood…I don’t think I’d be here today.   I grew up in a very unkind and abusive environment, which I was able to survive because of my mother’s love.   She is just an amazing woman and one of my best friends.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, wow, wow.  Bless your mom for being there for you.  That was mighty courageous of her because I can only imagine that she was protecting you even when risking her own physical safety.  Would that be about accurate?

Well, Michael, I’m a strong believer that every single thing happens for a reason.  The abuse you endured was in preparation for the role you now occupy, do you believe that?   We are all training for something.   Everything that happened to me as a baby, kid, teenager, young adult and now adult has not been without divine purpose.   The great adversity we each endure is to strengthen us for a future role of some sort.  We’re often not aware of the significance of everything until much later.

There are numerous examples of such adversity that has led a person to take up a cause for the betterment of the world.  Look at what Lance Armstrong has done for cancer research.   If it hadn’t been for his cancer, Lance would probably not be spearheading the work he’s doing to find a cure.  Same thing with people who suffered abuse who have decided to break the cycle of violence and turn things around.

It goes along with the thinking of why I was born deaf.  Did you know that for many years I didn’t like the fact that I was deaf?  It wasn’t until I realized I was born for a purpose when things began to turn around for me.

One last thing….we actually choose the parents and the life we have.  I know that before I was born, I made a spiritual contract with the various people I would deal with throughout my life, including my parents.  I even wrote an article about that in “What’s Your Contract with God?”

3. How long have you been promoting the act of kindness?

Actually promoting kindness as a way of life began for me in 2007.   Before starting The Kindness Center, I knew that being kind was the “right thing to do,” but I had never actually considered it as a method for personal and spiritual growth.   Since making kindness my intention for all that I think, say and do, it has completely transformed my life.   But honestly…I do not feel as if I’m special by doing this work.   Everyone has the same ability (and endless opportunities) to express the energy of kindness every single day.   It is truly our nature to be kind. What it comes down to is the power of choice.   Choosing to adopt kindness as a way of life…is choosing to be who you truly are.   We were created to be kind.   When we arrived in this world we were not unkind, judgmental, or looking to create war.   We came into this world as pure love.   The problem is that most people have forgotten who they truly are.   My mission in life is to simply remind people of their perfection and loving nature.

Stephen’s Response: You are humble and gracious.  You are also right when you say everyone has the same ability to make kindness a way of life.  That’s why I thought you were a perfect fit for this series.  It’s so important to remind people why they are here – to be kind and serve others.   Like you said, it’s our inherent nature to be kind.

You got it – choice!  (I’m nodding my head so fast that I’m afraid my neck will snap!).  It is up to us to enact what we know to be right.

It’s simple – like you said, we have forgotten who we are.  it’s time to get back to the basis and do what we know is right.    The world of greedy businesspeople, dishonest politicians and hate mongers would not want you to remember this.  They make it their business to be ruthless – why?  So they can enrich themselves while the rest of the world begs for scraps.

Well, no more!  Do you see what’s happening in America and around the globe?  The people who used greed and dishonesty to reap their fortunes are falling rapidly.    Financial institutions are coming apart at the seams and it’s all part of the changes Mother Earth and her inhabitants are making toward the light.  It’s why we need light-workers like you to help increase the Earth’s vibration to even higher levels.   WOOT!

Okay, I let myself get carried away for a minute but man, that’s my new passion!  To help increase the light and push the dark forces back further and further.  Oh yes, this is better than sex!  Whoo hoo!

4. What is the real reason you started “The Kindness Center“?

Unkindness was a disease in my family, and growing up around so much anger and sadness definitely took its toll on me.   For years I tried almost every personal growth program, self-help book, and spiritual teaching out there in an effort to find peace with myself, and my past.   After reading hundreds of books and tapping into some wonderful teachings, I was making some progress, but had yet to find the secret to being consistently happy.   But in the spring of 2007 all of that changed.   After having a major epiphany about kindness, (that crazy story is on my website)   I just knew this message needed to be shared with the rest of the world.

Stephen’s Response: And I’m with you!  I make it my commitment to join forces with you.  What about the rest of you (looking at the vast audience of over 600 people)????  Won’t you join forces with us?  Will you do a random act of kindness this week?

Not to brag or anything, but I already did my random act of kindness this week and I will make a point of doing at least one small act every single day.  Yesterday, I was decluttering my home/office and gave away a handful of appliances to surprised residents in my building that included a relatively new breadmaker, microwave, a toaster/oven and a blender.   With the exception of the blender (NO, not the Vita-Mix  –  I’m keeping THAT), the others were gifts that were passed on to me because the original owners wanted to give them away.  All I did was to “pay it forward.”

This morning I got an email from a Facebook friend who told me that two hours later my microwave found its way to the home of a young man who was struggling to save money and needed a microwave so that he could cook more at home.  How cool was that?!?!   That message lifted me up so high I was afraid I’d crack my head on the ceiling!

When you give from the heart – I’m telling you – it substantially increases your vibration.  It puts you in a position to receive even more from the universe simply because you gave kindly.

So let me ask you again, what will you give away today?  What act of kindness will you do this week?

5. One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed, Michael, is because you’ve started a small revolution, promoting the act of kindness, giving up a lucrative photography business to do so.  One of the requirements for an interview here is the demonstration of authenticity.  People who are genuinely kind and live their life accordingly are authentic in my book – how could they not be?  What caused you to make such a switch of careers and lead this way of life?

I actually had MANY critics when choosing to pursue this dream. I was sixteen years into a very successful photography career, making great money, winning awards, traveling, and considered “one of the best” in the portrait business when I closed my studio.   My incredibly supportive wife, (also an award winning photographer and co-owner of the studio) was 100% behind me though.   She knew I had discovered something very big and it could change people’s lives and the world.   So without hesitation, we sold all of the photography equipment, closed the studio doors and never looked back.

Other people thought I had completely lost it though.   As a high school graduate with no college education, the cries of “How will you pay your bills!?” “Why would you give all of this up?” “How can you make a career in kindness?” were endless.   But I’ve never really been one to listen to the voices of the “non-dreamers” in my life.   The critics are usually the ones dissatisfied with their own lives and have a difficult time seeing other people who dare to dream.   I’ve learned that if you let other people’s opinions seep into your head, you’re living their life, and not yours.   The stuff in your head, (fears and so-called rational choices based on the opinion of other people) will never lead to an authentic life.   Whenever I listen to my intellect, true happiness eludes me.   When I listen to me heart however, life always seems to carry me in the right direction.

My heart is my own personal GPS device for living an inspired life.   Like a GPS in a car, I simply type the directions into my hearts desire, trust it and go!   Sure I may miss a street or two along the way, but it’s only because I wasn’t paying attention.   The voice in your heart will always get you to your destination. But like I said…you have to trust it.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, gosh, you just gave me goose bumps!  I did almost exactly the same thing you did back in the mid-90′s.  For the benefit of those who are new here, I had a very successful Wall Street career as a banker and then stockbroker for a major firm (which ironically got merged with a bigger bank, probably saving it from financial ruin during the recent fallout).   One day I was on the beach in Florida when I had a spiritual revelation.  I knew intuitively that God had other plans for me.  The words I “heard’ that day was that I was to become an inspirational speaker, author and eventually pilot.  Like you, I had a bunch of naysayers.  They are exactly as you describe here  – people who don’t dare dream and would rather that you stay on their level to “make them feel good.”  For those who haven’t read the stories I wrote about leaving Wall Street, you can read one of them at “The Moment of My Spiritual Revelation on the Beach.”

6. If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are from a spiritual/cosmic point of view?

Each day I see proof that I am in a wonderful partnership with the energy of love and kindness.   Call it God, universal intelligence, spirit, whatever…but I know that my life is a miracle and an extension of his or her creative desires.   I see these desires as the fundamental nature of love rather than fear.   Living a fearful life completely disconnects us from our spiritual source.   Fear is the cause of unkindness and the reason we abuse ourselves, other people, animals and even the earth.   Kindness, however, is love in motion and can heal this planet.

I truly believe that if we are to change the world, we must not put the responsibility on other people or even God. To change the world we must change our own hearts.   The Dalai Lama has said that “world peace begins with inner peace” – Mahatma Gandhi told us “You must be the change you want to see in the world” – and even Jesus told us that “you can do all that I have done…and still greater things.” These great spiritual warriors have continually reminded us that, we are the change – we are the peace – and a better world becomes possible when we express our divine purpose here on earth…to serve, to love, and to meet all of life with a kind heart.   And as we begin to think and act from our hearts, we will see each other as God sees us…as six billion miracles, which make up the totality and very essence of life.

Stephen’s Response: Yes, I am there too – I also have a fabulous partnership with God, universal intelligence, spirit – all of the above.  I love it!  I never go through a day without at least having a “conversation” with them whether through prayer, reflection or meditation.

Fear is our worse enemy.  I haven’t announced this to the community yet but just before the holidays, I took a Reki course from a local Reki master.  It was a weekend long seminar the led me to becoming a certified Reki practitioner.

At the end, we were given two certificates.  One was a Reki certification.   The other was a list of thoughts or maybe I should say “code of conduct” for Reki practitioners.  One of them says “Just for today, do not worry.”   In other words, do not be fearful!  Take it one day at a time.  You can worry about tomorrow if you want to but just for today, don’t worry.  I love it!

You really put it succinctly when speaking of spiritual warriors who have told us through the ages that our purpose is to love.  It’s that simple.

7. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  Given?

Other than, “don’t eat yellow snow” (sorry, I couldn’t resist) I’d have to say that some of the greatest advice I ever received was from my 80-year old best friend, who also just happened to be my grandfather.   “Moppy” was my mom’s dad and just an amazing man.    He was always full of wit, wisdom and endless humor.   He was such an inspiration to me.

One day I called him for some much needed advice.   As I waited on the other end of the phone, expecting some profound wisdom of the ages to flow from his 80 years of life, he simply said to me: “Michael, just be yourself.”   “Geez gramp, thanks a lot, I had never even considered that.”   But after really thinking about it, his advice just blew me away!   He was so right!   I had been so busy trying to escape my past and everything I despised about myself, it was no wonder I couldn’t “find myself.”   Each day I was trying to be somebody I was not.   It was such simple, yet profound advice during that time in my life.

Sadly, Grampy “Moppy” passed away the same week I closed my photography business and began this new journey.   But I can still feel him with me every single day.   Oh, and by the way Gramp, if you happen to read this…you still owe me five bucks from the Patriots game we bet on before you left.   As always, you can just mail me cash…

Stephen’s Response: Haha, that’s funny!  “Don’t eat yellow snow.”  Hooohoo (slapping my legs).  Well, my friend, that’s a mighty good advice for anyone!  LOL.

“Just be yourself.”  That’s right.   I almost managed to lose a speaking engagement last year because I was secretly afraid I wasn’t up to snuff for the gig until a friend at the time said, “Just be yourself.”  How profound!

By the way, has “Moppy” sent the money he owes you?   If he somehow managed to slip you five bucks from heaven, please send him to me.    I’d like to make a deal with him.  Hahaha.

8. What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?

Breaking the chain of abuse in my family is definitely the greatest achievement in my life.   I remember being very young and telling my mother that I would never be the way my great grandfather, grandfather, and dad were.   The men on my father’s side of the family were the furthest things from being kind. Alcohol, drugs, extreme violence, and unspeakable acts poisoned our family.

I also promised my mom that I would be an amazing dad someday.   From that one decision, I was able to become a loving father to my now 17 year-old son, Alex.   He has changed my life in ways that he will probably never even know.   I just love him with all my heart and soul.

Stephen’s Response: You touched on something I talked about earlier in the interview.  The kind of people who are making a difference are those of you who are breaking the cycle of violence and healing others through acts of kindness.

I can only imagine the extreme violence you talked about.  I know a man who was once beaten to a bloody pulp by his father when he accidentally scratched the surface of the family car.   He told me it took many years to forgive his father for that.  Fortunately for him, he’s at peace with it (his father has passed on).

Michael, I did not want this part to end so soon.  I feel so connected to you.   You will do amazing things in the world with your kindness center.    I absolutely must talk about joining forces with you!

Words alone do not convey how deeply you’ve stirred my soul.  And now I want to join forces with you!

The key is HOW?

Click here to see Part II.

Food for thought for the audience:  That’s it – HOW can we join forces with Michael?  Will you perform one act of kindness today?  Do it!  Please.  It doesn’t have to be outrageous or expensive.  A smile could do wonders.  Pay the toll for the person behind you on the freeway.  Give away a favorite appliance that you no longer use to an unsuspecting neighbor.  Wipe the snow off your neighbor’s car or shovel the driveway for them.  Give away a coat to a homeless teen.  There are COUNTLESS of ways you can extend an act of kindness.

Then please tell us about it in the comments.  Let’s show Michael some INCREDIBLE SUPPORT and act courageously by performing an act of kindness, not to satisfy the ego but to warm your heart and those of ours.

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Luckily because I brought my new laptop with me, I was able to post the first of two parts of an interview i did with Lance from Jungle of Life last week and what a hoot it was!

Did you see it?

If not, before you read any further, please go to the Stephen Hopson Interview with Lance of Jungle of Life, Part I of II and get to know this very special person.  My interview with him generated a huge response and I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened again with Part II today.      This young man has touched a lot of people’s hearts and souls with his work over at Jungle of Life and they came out in full force to let us know how much they enjoyed seeing him in the spotlight over here.    I couldn’t be more happy to do that for a deserving person who has consistently shown how much he cares about you and I.

With that said, I’m very excited to present Lance once again, LANCE, COME OUT FROM THE “GREEN ROOM”!!!!

11.  What is your favorite word?  Least favorite?

Favorite: Journey.   It’s not just a musical group (although they did have some great songs!).   When I think of “journey” I think of how our travels have taken us all to where we are today.   And that our “journey” yet to come, what lies ahead of us – is filled with whatever we put into it. We’re all on a “journey”, our own “journey” – and we each have the power to direct our own “journey” in the directions we choose!

Least favorite: Can’t. This word brings up in me the whole idea of not being even willing to try.     It says “defeat” before even giving something a chance.

Stephen’s Response: You know what?  The word journey is exactly what I talk about during my speaking engagements.    I believe I am a spiritual being having a human experience on this journey of life.  We all came here for a specific divine mission and when it’s all over, we “go home.”    Once I realized this from a bigger view, I began to realize how every one of us has a job to do.

I also don’t like the word “can’t” but as you can imagine, I encounter that word every day in business.  It’s amazing how easy that word slips from our mouths (even mine, I admit it).  If only we could slow down our responses and see the big picture.  There’s always a solution to a problem – ALWAYS.  We just have to find it.  I would not have become the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot if I agreed with everyone who told me that would not be possible with “You can’t do that – it says so in the FAA rule booklet!”

12.  What was the most embarrassing moment of your life that you now look back at and laugh, cry or smile?  What was the lesson you learned?

Have you ever been sick, Stephen – throwing up kind of sick? I’m sure you have, as have all your readers.   Maybe you can relate.   Imagine being a kid in elementary school – and getting sick while at lunch.    And throwing up all over the lunchroom table, all over your friend’s lunches, all over the table…you get the idea.    Embarrassing.   I think it would be, still today, if it happened to me.   I know it was definitely embarrassing as a young kid in elementary school!   And to think, I was rarely sick when I was in school.   The thing is, everyone got over it.    I look back now and laugh.   Well…it’s a guarded laugh.   I really don’t wish this on anyone – either to have this happen, or to witness it (ugly mess)!   The lesson I learned: Embarrassing moments happen.   People forget much quicker than we do.    And life goes on…

Stephen’s Response: OMG, your experience actually reminds me of what happened when I was in sixth grade getting ready for a class photo.  Firstly, the boys were required to have a tie, which I didn’t have (my mom had to bring it in, to my chagrin).  Then shortly after the tie was put on, I must have spilled something on my shirt, leaving a big dark stain.  Can you imagine?!?  I thought my world would collapse!  But like you said, it was quickly forgotten but not by me!  LOL.

13.  Name the top 5 articles from ”Jungle of Life” that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from.

• Kindness Comes In Small Gestures – A look at kindness, and how small things can mean the most.
• Fear: Does It Hold You Back? – Sometimes, fear can hold us back.  Unless we take steps to turn those fears into positives.  This is a look at how we can do this in our daily lives.
• Spread Your Wings and Fly – When your comfort zone starts to become a little too comfortable, it’s time to spread your wings and fly!
• Sometimes You Just Have to Take That Leap – The unknown.  It’s out there for all of us.  Here I take a look at what it’s like to take that first step into the unknown, using skydiving as a real life example of doing this.
• Weeds…In Your Life -A look at our lives, the “weeds” we have in there, and how important it is for us to get rid of these “weeds” that keep us from reaching our full potential.

Stephen’s Response: You amaze me – do you know why?  Because I’m a pilot and two of your articles above use some form of avaition to get your point across like skydiving and “spreading your wings and fly”!   I loved all of these articles, especially “Kindness Comes in Small Gestures.”  That was a tearjerker.  I felt as if I were right there witnessing the scene between your boy and the girl who couldn’t get her mitten on.  That one is destined to become a classic at your blog!

14.  What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

You have shined brightly, my son – welcome home.

My hope is that I am a light in this world, in some small way that I have made someone’s life better. I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes:

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stephen’s Response:  Indeed you shone brightly Lance!  I think all of my readers and yours would have to agree with that.   Isn’t it amazing how the power of blogging gives all of us an equal chance of being recognized?  Loved?  Respected?   Honored?  Revered?    Blogging gives people like you and me the chance to flourish without being rejected by the big publishing houses “because you don’t have enough of an inspiring story” or “the market isn’t big enough for your stories.”

15.  What’s the top five items on your “Bucket List”?  (Inspired by the movie ”The Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman).

• Write a book - I’m starting down this road as we speak, and it’s both scary and exciting at the same time!
• Complete a half-marathon and/or mid-distance triathlon – I’ve competed in short races in both of these events. It would be really an exciting experience to compete at some of the next levels up (even if by compete I mean just finishing the race!)
• Travel - I’m leaving this one open-ended, as I don’t necessarily have one destination in mind. More of a real desire to see much of this world, and the beauty that exists in all her many reaches.
• Learn to play the guitar - I love the sound of the guitar, and it would be very cool to be able to play someday.
• Climb a mountain – To really be out in the wilderness, to hike to a mountain’s peak, and experience it’s beauty from on top – that would be an amazing experience!  This would be a rugged, back to the basics, getting in touch with yourself, type of journey.

Stephen’s Response: I hope you plan to blog about your marathon experiences and take lots of pictures because that’ll keep yourself accountable and inspire the rest of us to take up some form of exercise to whip ourselves in shape.   I agree that climbing a mountain and experiencing the view at the top would be an incredible experience.  Come to think of it, I’ve never actually done that myself.  Hmmmmmmm……….

16.  Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear.  Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

Sound I love: Young children laughing – the sound of a baby or young child laughing is such a sweet, innocent, real laugh.    It brings a smile to my face every time I hear this.   I recall my own children, moments I’ve had with them – and the sweet sounds of pure joy their bodies have echoed.   Moments I’ll cherish always.   And moments I still love to hear from any young child I encounter… It really is true joy coming from their bodies!

Sound I detest: Screaming/arguing/fighting. I notice this (surprise, surprise!) amongst my own kids. Really, it doesn’t happen that much, yet – they are kids, and they will fight sometimes.   In a way, I can accept this, knowing it is part of growing up, and of learning to get along with those you live with.    When it bothers me even more is when I hear it from other adults.    I find it sad – sad that we sometimes have to resort to this.   Why?   I know that we can get emotionally “worked up” – yet I question if this screaming at others is really the right solution.    Maybe it has a place in certain situations.    Still, it is a sound I do detest.    That, and fingernails on a chalkboard (we don’t really have many of those anymore, though)…

Stephen’s Response: Can you tell I like asking this question?    It gives me a chance to “experience” different sounds just by reading the person’s response (in this case, that would be you Lance).   Ever since I started the interview series last year, no one has given the exact same answer, making the diverse responses I get to this question to be very interesting!

18.  We all have our likes and dislikes.  What would you say turns you on and what turns you off?  Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

Like: Honesty. When someone is honest – even in the face of looking bad themselves, this is very much a quality that I like. It speaks very highly of their character and ethics, two traits I very much admire.

Dislike: Bitter cold.   In two forms.   First, in the real, physical form – bitter and cold temperatures – that can chill us to the bone.   I’m in Wisconsin – we have our days!   When I hear below and zero in the same sentence, uh-oh…   And also – bitter cold – in the form of attitudes from others.   No matter what our position, what our title, what we’ve “earned”, what our status – we should still treat others with respect and kindness.   A cold and bitter attitude is a real turn off.

Stephen’s Response: Yes, honesty or transparency is a winner, especially if we have a vested interest in the outcome that could go down the drain in a hurry if the truth were known (whatever it is).    I notice that when you’re honest about something that has you in dire straights, the other person isn’t usually expecting it and has to take a moment to adjust since the opposite answer was expected.  Does that make sense?

I’m with you about the “bitter and cold” attitude.   While I try to have compassion for cold people, I certainly don’t make it my business to  hang around them!  Their energy is often toxic.

19.  And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?

The best place to find out about me is my blog, the Jungle of Life.    Stop by, and explore this place I call the jungle, which probably isn’t all that different from your own jungles!  You can also find me on Twitter.  If you don’t find me at either of these places, I’m probably sleeping…

Stephen’s Response: And that’s a wrap folks!  Be sure to check Lance’s blog but I’m warning you – you’ll get hooked!   Thanks Lance for coming over to Adversity University to spend some quality time with us today!  We are so sorry to see you leave and go back to the jungle but many of us will be looking for you in the days ahead.  We’ll weave through the well worn paths to find you resting in the middle of the jungle.   I have nothing but the best wishes for a great new year for you and your family!

Stephen, thank you, very much, for this moment you’ve given me here.  It’s been a wonderful opportunity to share a little (well…maybe more than a little!) about myself.  Your questions were challenging, and that’s good – you made me really think about my answers on all of these.  You’re doing great work here Stephen!  It has truly been an honor to be here these past two weeks…

Lance, the pleasure was all mine.  I love shining the spotlight on people who are authentic, walks the talk and treats other people with love, honor and respect.  You’re all that and much more.  It was a privilege and honor to host you here at Adversity University!  I know you and I will continue to stay in touch in 2009 and I’m looking forward to it!

Folks, there you have it.  I’ll be writing again soon with a gratitude post and share with you lots of good stuff happening.   It’s going to be a GREAT year for all of you.  Just put your mind to it and be prepared to be amazed.

Until then, enjoy the rest of the week.

a

I’ll give you the 3-second answer:  I make people happy.

As I thought about this question, Stephen, I kept coming back to what is it that I really do provide?  What is it, at a higher level, that I do for a living?  I kept asking myself if this answer, really, was a legitimate answer.  Maybe it would seem too fluffy.  Not enough substance to it.  And yet, at a very core level, I do believe this is it.  For a more detailed answer on how I do this, my About page gets into a little more of the nitty gritty.

2.  Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at your blog “Jungle of Life.”

I have developed a sinful relationship – with chocolate!  My preference is a good dark chocolate.  However, I’ll easily settle for semi-sweet chocolate chips.  Way too often…  My family has been known to hide the chocolate chips.  It doesn’t work, I have my way of finding out (kids and tickling go a long way toward getting what I want!).  There must be some health benefit to eating chocolate – that’s what I’m going with!

Stephen’s Response: Chocolate is a sin?  My gosh!  No one ever told me!  Even though I’m on a raw food diet (plant-based foods), I still consume chocolate -  raw chocolate that is.  Ever had it?  It;s not the sweet chocolate you’re used to but still…..it’s called cacao nibs.    You’d be surprised about the health benefits of dark chocolate.  Same thing with wine  – they say there are health benefits to things like that.  Go and enjoy, I say!

3.  What is the real reason you started “Jungle of Life”?

The idea of writing came up after seeing the movie “The Bucket List” in early 2008.  After seeing this, my wife and I discussed what might be on our own bucket lists.  One of the things that came up for me was writing.  So, at a very high level, this movie was the reason.  Yet, this doesn’t really say why I wanted to write.  I had three subjects I am passionate about.  Starting out, I wanted to write about these subjects – personal finance, exercise and nutrition, and personal growth (in that order).

So, I really geared myself up to focus on writing about personal finance, first and foremost.  Yet, what I quickly discovered was that, while personal finance and exercise (to a degree) were areas of my life that I really felt strongly about, they did very little for me emotionally, to write about them.  And without my heart into it, writing did not have the same effect on me, at a personal level.  At the same time, I did discover that writing about personal growth was, very much, an area that really brought much personal satisfaction to me.  So that has become the main focus of my writing.  It is not the only area I focus on, and exercise and nutrition is still something I very much enjoy writing about too.

Like life, where the “Jungle of Life” has taken me has been a journey, and one whose path is not necessarily the freeway of life, instead, more the road less traveled.  And sometimes a new path altogether.  There are no road maps I’m following, except for the road map of my heart.  And that’s a road map that’s being written as I travel on this journey through the jungle I call life…  So, the journey continues, and as I travel down these roads, I’m evolving and growing.  And that’s become the real reason, now, that I write at the “Jungle of Life”.  The cool thing about evolving and growing is that I’m not doing it alone – it really comes from all the many thoughtful comments that really add to the conversation, that really take what I write to new and greater levels of understanding.

Stephen’s Response: You outlined one very important thing that I’ve been saying over and over again here at Adversity University and that’s the importance of listening to your heart.  Your heart, which I equate to your spirit, knows what is best.  While some passions we may have are “fleeting,” we should pay attention to them because they often lead us to other paths that we might not have been aware of in the past.  Or those passions, if we stick to them, might lead us to our life’s purpose.   Such is the importance of following our innermost passions.

4.  One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed is because you come across as someone who I’d most definitely like to meet in person.  Your writings reflect a measure of authenticity, an important prerequisite for this interview.  How did you become like this?

I hope we DO get the opportunity to meet someday, Stephen!  That would be awesome!  The world of blogging has really exposed me to some amazing people along the way, people that start to become friends – separated only by distance.  It’s an honor to have you amongst these many great people with whom I’ve crossed paths in the electronic world!

Starting out, I felt a real need to maintain a level of anonymity.  There was this fear I had that having people who knew me, reading what I wrote, would change what I wrote.  That it would be less authentic.  So, I started out without any pictures of me, or without any mention of where I was from.  And this helped me to “feel” anonymous.   Then a strange thing started to happen.  I’ll call it good karma.  I started to feel validated in my writing from the people who began to leave comments on my writing.  And in doing this, I felt more comfortable being me.  Both in my writing, and in opening up to who I really was – removing some of the anonymity.  Today I am comfortable writing what I believe, and in being who I am.

To look into how I really became like this, though, I have to go back to my childhood, and having parents who really instilled in me the importance of doing the right thing.  That’s a principle I’ve carried with me always.  While I might have strayed in certain areas of my life (see question 9), I’ve always maintained this inner compass that was instilled in me when I was growing up.  Do I always portray that quality?  No.   However, I believe that I do, very much, try to not put up any false facades.  What you see (or read) is what you get.  Or, that’s my hope.  That what I say, do, show – is authentically me.  In the end, I’m only hurting myself by not living this way.

Stephen’s Response: There’s something free about not letting what others think of us diciate what we do with our lives.    That’s the primary problem most of us have – we worry about what others think of us.    For the longest time, I used to think “what will they think?”  How I deal with that now is by asking myself, “Are they paying my bills?”  Nine times out of ten, the answer is “NO.”   But then I also need to remind myself that God is my source of everything, not people.  He uses people to accomplish whatever means He has for you.  So, good points you’re bringing up here!

5.  If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are (perhaps from a spiritual point of view)?

I am a student.  I am a student in the school of life.  From a spiritual point of view, I am a Christian.  And I am a student here, as well.  I say I’m a student, because there is so much I don’t know, and so much for me to learn yet.  Our God is an awesome God (that sounds like a song!).  And to even come close to understanding what He has done for me – that’s hard to even begin to comprehend.  So, I’m a student in this school of life, on a journey toward greater understanding.   My relationship with my God and my Savior has been an evolving one – reaching a point today where it is on a personal level.   I have a strong faith in our world, and the good that exists here.  The good that exists in everyone!  Sure, I can be cynical at times.  I can despise someone I see on the news, who has committed some terrible crime.  On some days, I can look and see only the bad.  Yet, that is the exception, not the norm.  I really believe our world is full of much potential, that we all can achieve great things, and we all have a purpose here on earth.  Discovering that purpose, those gifts which God has given, uniquely, to each of us – is a journey worth exploring!

Stephen’s Response; Well, you know Lance, we are all students of life.  I’ve heard of different sayings such as “The School of Hard Knocks” and stuff like that.  My personal belief is that we are all here on this planet to learn something.  There are lessons to learn – therefore, life is a journey.  It’s not the final destination that really matters but the journey.  If we can maintain that attitude, we’re bound to learn much on the way.    I am fond of saying that life is a matter of perspective.

6.  What is the best advice you’ve ever given?  Received?

Advice given: “Don’t give up”.  I coach a youth soccer team.  This is advice I’ve given them, on more than one occasion.  I don’t know that they always get it, and I don’t know that they all get it.  Yet, if even one of them keeps fighting a little harder, even when things look bad – this is an awesome lesson for them (and me) to take away from the game.  Much like life, a game of soccer is a series of highs and lows, things working and not.  And in the end, if we want “it” bad enough, and we don’t give up – then we have succeeded.  Even if we don’t “succeed” at what we’re aiming for (a win on the soccer field, of success in some certain endeavor in life) – we have not failed if we didn’t give up on “it”. 

Advice received: “The brick walls are there for a reason”.  One of my favorite books/speeches is “The Last Lecture”, by Randy Pausch.  One line he uses is that “the brick walls are there for a reason”.  I love this line, because it reminds me that when I come upon those “brick walls” in my life, if I want what’s on the other side badly enough, the brick wall will be there to strengthen me…not to keep me out!

Stephen’s Response: Oh yes, I remembered “The Last Lecture.”  Do you know why the video of Randy Pausch’s last lecture went viral?  It’s because the world is starving for simple lessons.  Simple truths.  But we need to  hear it from an authentic, honest person who doesn’t have a hidden agenda.  Randy had this desire to share his heart with the rest of us and the world responded.

7.  What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?

My role as a father.  I am helping to shape the lives of three very important people in my life.  I take this role very seriously.  Being involved in my children’s lives is a huge part of my life.  If I really think about what, in life, I can have such an influence on – my three kids are the first thing I think of.  I have the opportunity to help them grow and learn, to nurture that process along the way, and to share with them the many life lessons I have learned throughout the years.  It’s a role that has brought me moments of great joy, and one that has also brought me moments of pain.  And yet, I wouldn’t trade any of this for anything.

Stephen’s Response: I don’t have children of my own but I can imagine the impact you have on their lives.  When I visit my brother in VA, I get to see the cutest two girls who are identical twins.  I observe them and watch how joyful they are.  They each have fun with themselves and go all out in a state of total joy and happiness.   It’s amazing to watch their innocence blossom.

8.  We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

Silence.  In this case, silence toward those I love.  My dark side, and one that not many people see, is silence in times of distress or anger.  Opening up, and really sharing what’s in my heart, especially when I’m upset – is difficult.  It becomes easiest to bottle it up.  And I know that this is most difficult on the ones I love.  Why is it that sometimes we treat those we care about the most, the worst?  Maybe I’m being a little hard on myself here.  Then again, maybe not.  Is it that I expect more from them?  Is it that I fear what I might say?  Is it that I expect they should know what I’m thinking?

It looks like crossing over to the dark side has given me some questions for myself to answer!  So, there you go Stephen, you’re making me really evaluate myself here…  Are you a therapist???

Stephen’s Response: Am I a therapist?  Hahaha, no, but I probably should have become one!   But yes, you’re right – it’s easy to bottle things up when you’re angry or upset.  It’s easier not to rock the boat.   You bring up an interesting point that I can identify with and that’s being hard on ourselves.  I am like that too.   But I’m getting better at it – I realize I am doing the best I can and if I screw up, well, what can I say?  Does that make sense?  Anyway, this is one of my favorite questions because it makes the interviewee go “deep.”  I’m tired of interviews that cover superficial stuff  – why not go deeper and make things interesting, right?

9.  What would you say was the defining moment that forever changed the course of your life?  For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

Without a doubt, the defining moment of my life was the day I started dating the wonderful lady who is now my wife.  We met while in college, she going to school just down the road in the next city.   Growing up, church was an important part of my life.  However, when I went off to college, I forgot church existed.  And more importantly, my own personal spirituality disappeared.  My wife has always been centered in her own spirituality, and with our meeting, she really helped to get me focused on this in my own life again.  It wasn’t that my life felt like it was out of control.  However, I did feel there was an emptiness within.  Like something was missing.  Something that all the parties, all the late nights, all the school work – wasn’t fulfilling.  She knew.  This has always, ever since I’ve known her, been a real strength of hers.  Her real ability to keep her faith strong.  That’s not to say our journey down this road of spiritual understanding hasn’t had some bumps along the way – it has.  Looking back, those bumps have becomes catalysts for moving us, together, to a new level in our faith journey.  And to this day, I continue to see her as a pillar of faith and spirituality (mixed in with lots of humor and good fun).   And the one person who really knows me, the one person who I know will give me her honest opinion – not just a “sugar-coated” version I want to hear.  All of that helps to make her a real complement to my life, and a source of much inspiration in continuing to define the courses our lives are, together, taking…

Stephen’s Response: You got it when you say those bumps have become catalysts for moving you two forward – that’s usually the case.  It’s good to surround ourselves with people who care enough not to “sugar-coat” things.  That’s important because sometimes we can’t see for ourselves the truth, especially if we are in the “thick of things,” you know what I’m saying?

10. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity.  How have you dealt with adversity in your own life?  Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.

I consider myself lucky in that I haven’t had lots of adversity in my life.  Yet, we all do have some.  I’ll share two specific examples in my life.

First example: Shortly after my wife and I were married, we became pregnant (well, mostly my wife…), and then we moved, because of my work, twice before the birth of our first son.  The challenge, the adversity here, was the sheer amount of change that had occurred in the course of a year.  Living in a new state, hundreds of miles from any family, looking at buying a house, paying off college loans, living off every last penny we had, and a baby on the way.  Throw into the mix, that within the next year – we would find out the location I was at was closing – and we’d be moving again – now selling a house, having a young baby, and looking at again starting over in a new location – adversity defined the first few of years of our marriage!   And yet, through it all, we were strengthened.  It brought us, as a couple closer together.  It grew our faith in a God who protects.  And we really developed a comfort level in change.  Change became a constant those first few years, and this has continued to help me every day in my life.  These were big changes.  Yet, at the core, change is change – whether it’s small or large.  So, these large changes really have helped in my own dealing with the many smaller changes that go on in normal daily life.

Second example: Growing up I was in ok shape physically, and ate semi-healthy food.  However, over the years, I slowly let myself slip into a state of very limited physical activity, and too much junk food.  This led me to a point where I was overweight, lethargic, and generally expressing a “can’t do” attitude.  A little over four years ago, we were beginning to plan a vacation to celebrate ten years of marriage.  At the same time, I also had a routine checkup performed, with results coming back with warning signs of me heading down a road of bodily destruction.  I looked in the mirror, thinking about our coming vacation, while also tossing around the results from my visit to the doctor.  And it was, all at once, a wake-up call.  This was my life!  And I was letting it slip into a downward spiral.  I took pictures, I changed my diet, I started to exercise.  I certainly didn’t get it all right to start with.  Yet, I had started.  And today, I consider myself to be in the best shape of my life!  And I look at that transition period, and the adversity it brought.  And through that adversity, I was able to change my life, and really focus on living healthy.  And really, healthy – defined over these last couple of years – has come to embody being healthy in body, mind, and spirit.  And that’s a great journey to be on!

Stephen’s Response: Bottom line?  You and I plus countless of others have encounters what I call “awakenings” that lead us to wake up and realize where we are and determine that we are not happy with the way things are.  But not everyone does something about it like you have.  When you looked at yourself in the mirror (who ever invented that??  I wonder), you had a “revelation” that told you you were not at your best.  Fortunately, you did something about it and made some changes like I did over the summer.  I’ve never been happier because of my new “plant-based” lifestyle.    Change is scary but powerful!  Congrats!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are DONE with Lance of The Jungle of Life.  What fun it was!  Please not only give him a hand for coming here to Adversity University but also for sharing with us his wisdom, love and grace.  THANK YOU LANCE!  We can’t wait for you to come back.   (Update:  See Part II here).

Meanwhile, let me say that I know you haven’t heard from me in over week.  I don’t want to make excuses or  anything but it has certainly been a busy week preparing for the holidays and getting ready for my drive to VA to visit my brother and his family.  Now that I’m here in VA, using my new laptop, I expect to write some more articles for you.

Have a great holiday and be well! 

a

Now that I’m back from London and Dallas, I’m finally getting back into the groove here at Adversity University.    Hopefully you enjoyed reading about my Dallas speaking engagement with Frito-Lay and the trip to London last week.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, I began my raw food journey in September 2008 with awesome (I should say RAWsome) results.  I created a new category here called “Raw Food Journey” for those of you interested in this way of eating.   Not long ago, a domain name was reserved for “Stephen Gone Raw” (a.k.a. Stephen Gone Crazy).    I’m in the process of looking for a theme to adopt and then implement a new blog just for this topic – raw foods.    So stay tuned!

Today’s interview is guaranteed to blow you away because it is one of the most inspiring raw food success stories that I’ve come across.  I can’t remember how I found Philip but it’s not hard to see his name and face floating around the raw food world once you delve into it.

I rather let him tell you his story but before we call him out from backstage, let me just tell you that when I first discovered him and his incredible weight loss story, I found myself crying every time I read an article he wrote, saw him on video or looked at his Before/After and other pictures.   I don’t ever remember anyone touching my soul like he has.  Then I realized why.   It was because I was seeing a mirror image of myself!   What you see in others, you see in yourself!

People who adopt a raw food lifestyle (whether it’s 100 percent or some variation of it), tend to look like angels.  I’m not kidding you.  Their eyes become brighter and their faces take on a translucent look.  It’s a most amazing transformation that is hard to miss.   When I saw Philip appear on CBS’s “The Doctors,” I swear to God it was like watching an angel walk out onto the stage.   I believe a link will be provided sometime during the interview to this amazing and inspiring clip.  He had that translucent glow.  You’ll see.

That’s why I am super excited to bring him onboard for the first-ever interview of a raw foodist at Adversity University.     Without further ado, please help me welcome PHILIP McCLUSKEY!

Whooooooo!   (Audience clapping wildly, whistling and stomping their feet, yelling PHILIP, PHILIP, PHILIP!!!)

(Philip comes out from backstage and greets me with a bear hug)

Philip, I can’t believe you’re finally here at Adversity University!  You have no idea how much of an impact you’re going to make in the next several minutes!  I’m so excited, I’m literally shaking in my booties.

Let’s get going and get started, shall we Philip?

Philip McCluskey, "Before and After"

1. One of my favorite questions when I want to learn about someone is by asking them to give me their 5 second introduction when I pose the question:  “What do you do for a living?”

First and foremost my main “job” (joy of being) is to spread love wherever I go, and be a catalyst for transformation and change.  Secondly, I am a motivational speaker, blogger, entrepreneur, and aspiring author.

Stephen’s Response: Oh boy, aren’t you ever the catalyst for change and transformation!  You are the very essence of being that!  All someone has to do is take a look at your before and after picture to see the stunning transformation you’ve made in the last 2.5 years!

2. Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at your blog “Loving Raw.”

I enjoy thriving in my Scorpio nature.  With 5 signs in Scorpio I get to enjoy such wonderful extremes in my life, from an intense embodiment of love and stillness, to being wonderfully passionate and embracing my darker side as well.   Balancing extremes is my lifelong dharma.

Stephen’s Response: I’ve never heard of such an interesting response to that question.  So you are a man of extremes?  Interesting.  I suppose I could describe myself in that way too.  I mean, after all, some of my friends think I’ve gone off the deep end when I started my raw food journey in September 2008.  I went out and bought a $500 Vita-Mix blender, filled my fridge with mostly fruits and vegetables and just last week went to London at the drop of the hat.  And I suspect more is coming!  Yeah, I can definitely identify with “extremes” although I’m not a Scorpio – I’m a Taurus.  Is that bad?   LOL.

3. How long have you been blogging at “Loving Raw“?

I started the Lovingraw.com website a little over a year and a half ago.

Stephen’s Response: So did you start that at the beginning of your raw food journey?  Or was that created after you went raw?  (You can answer this in the comment section if you wish).

4. What is the real reason you started “Loving Raw“?

I had felt so unsupported in regards to my weight and unhappiness for so long, with really no direction to turn to.  After finding such amazing success with the raw food lifestyle in regards to weight and new found zest for life I knew it was something that needed to be shared with others.  So I decided to document my entire journey, the good times and the bad, so others could learn and grow along with me.

Stephen’s Response: Documenting the good and bad is a great way to give a balanced report of your experiences.   I’ve done the same.  In fact, your blog/website has inspired me to go to the next level and start my own raw food blog (“Stephen Gone Raw”).

What’s amazing about the Internet and blogging in general is that it has opened the world of possibilities for people like you and I.  Because we can publish anything at the drop of the hat, we have the potential of inspiring untold numbers of people who might not have otherwise known about our journeys had it not been for the Internet.   Thank God for that!

5. One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed, Philip, is because I am also on the raw food journey having started in September 2008.  As soon as I dove into this new and unfamiliar world, I found you all over the place.  And I’ve seen countless of your videos, read several of your articles.  And you know what?  You have singlehandedly made me cry many times.  Why?  Because not only am I inspired by your weight loss story but I am super touched by your sense of authenticity, a requirement for being interviewed here.    Your face radiates with incredible love and light.  It seems illuminated by the spirit, which is very powerful.  What happened to make you like this?

Being morbidly obese, I had been hiding my entire life, wanting to be loved, but not really wanting the attention.  After making the change to “go raw” I decided I would do a 180 and switch everything around, by starting a blog and being 100% transparent in everything I do.  I found that by living that kind of life I hadn’t really had any more secrets to hide, and I could be up front about everything.  There is such a beautiful liberation when you come to that realization.

So by connecting more with nature, practicing meditation or stillness, and just choosing to connect with the divine in others I am able to create a space of love wherever I go.  People find that the walls they generally put up around others are not required when they are around me, allowing us to able to communicate authentically right from the start.  I also love to see the go(o)d in others and set the intentions to act as a mirror so they can see their own divine beauty in my eyes.  It’s really learning to love the person, and yourself in the person as well.  We are all one after all.

Stephen’s Response: Wow, that is such a powerful revelation – you’re right – being transparent can make the world of a difference.  It’s is very liberating indeed.  We all have work to do on the art of transparency.  I was reading a very interesting article somewhere about the power of transparency.  Who would you rather listen to during a sales pitch?  Someone who gives a scripted performance or someone who speaks from the heart and sounds like a real person?

I am touched by what you said about how all you wanted was to be loved.  That’s true for all of us.  Who doesn’t want love?  I’ve learned that love wins in the end.   Love conquers all.  It turns darkness into light.  I’ve experienced it with my own eyes.

I totally relate to how people find that the walls they put up around others aren’t required when they are around you.  I find that to be true in my own experience – I am probably the most non-judgmental person you’d ever meet.  Nothing you tell me would shock me.  I even had some people writing to me confessing their worse secrets!

Philip, you are amazing.  You’ve definitely managed by simply being who you are to set the intention to act as a mirror so that others who see you in person or on video their own divine beauty that you see with your eyes.  In other words, when I saw you on video, I cried, right?  That’s because I saw the divine in you, which was a reflection of the divine in me.  Did I make sense with that?   Hope so!

6. If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are?

I am a beautiful expression of the divine, having a human experience.  Light and love encapsulated in a body, interconnected to everyone that ever was and ever will be.

In the physical I am Philip McCluskey, 32-year-old motivational speaker and online blogger.  I am passionate, expressive, a communicator and a lover.  Loving all people, and seeing the light within.  I am a man working out my human existence daily, constantly growing, more un-attached, more balanced, and most importantly more loving.

I enjoy the quiet times I have alone, reading and just being still with my thoughts – and I love the parties and friends and laughter too!  I have abandoned all… to pursue love, bliss, and happiness, at all costs.  The time for holding back has come to an end, the time for living and loving is NOW.

Stephen’s Response: We are all spiritual beings having a human experience so I’m right there with you on that one.   One thing that really stood out to me in this response was becoming “more un-attached.”

This is something that’s been a work in progress for me over the years.   Being unattached to the results  — letting go and letting God.  Trusting that all will work out.  It’s about letting go of control.  I’m happy to say I’ve made tremendous progress in this area.  There’s nothing more powerful than being able to surrender but understanding that it doesn’t mean “giving up.”

I also love my quiet time.   In fact, I relish that.  I live alone and enjoy it.  In the summers, I frequently go to my favorite lake and take in the scenery, the sun and the clear water.  There’s something powerful about spending time alone with God and nature.  I’ve always been drawn to clear water for some reason.    Looking at it (especially when the sun is reflecting off the surface) soothes me somehow.

7.    What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  Given?

These answers are simple.

Best advice received:  Love

Best advice given: Love

Best advice given runner-up: You are God.

Stephen’s Response: Runner up?  That’s a first here at the “Stephen Hopson Interview” series!  I love it!  Yes, you are God.  We all are.  There’s God inside each and every one of us.

8. What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?

Making the choice to NOT get gastric bypass surgery.  Being overweight my whole life, and trying over 30 different diets, the choice to apply to get approved for the surgery was an easy one.  But after a month of tests to satisfy my insurance company, with the decision that I could get the surgery at any time, changing my mind was a whole different matter.

It was the moment that I decided to reclaim my power back and take responsibility for my life.  I had decided that I was worth it, and that everything required for change was already inside me.  It was my moment of liberation, celebration, and congratulations all in one.  It was my rebirth.

Stephen’s Response: You bet – you are worth it and so is everyone else!  That’s what I like to imply through my writings here at Adversity University.  We are so worth having better health, wealth and happiness.

You made one very important point here.  The reason you were able to embark on this incredible weight loss journey was because you made a FIRM DECISION.  You made a decision in your heart that you were going to go about losing weight in the most natural way possible.

When you make a firm decision about anything, you are making a powerful shift spiritually, emotionally and physically.

In fact, I often cite a favorite quote from “Conversations with God” (Neale Donald Walsch):

When you “make up your mind” about something, you set the universe into motion.  Forces beyond your ability to comprehend—far more subtle and complex than you could imagine—are engaged in a process, the intricate dynamics of which you are only just now beginning to understand.

WOW, how powerful is that?  Think about that folks.   Haven’t you had at least one episode in your life where you made a firm decision to do something and everything fell into place easily and effortlessly?  Think back on your life and tell me if this holds true in your own life.  I’m willing to bet it has happened on more than just a few times!

9. We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

You want the full breakdown?  LOL

I had a panic attack right before going raw.  Why?  I had run such a tight life in regards to left-brain thinking, schedules, perfection, over-thinking, over-worrying, etc.  Many things have changed since that day but sometimes I still find myself holding my breath, reminding myself to breathe and that all is perfect in the moment.

I used to dream about being the bad guy in movies.  Being the mafia gang member, or the guy with the shotgun rolling down the street.  Throughout school all of my friends were in gangs, and as I got older I even owned a handgun and shotgun, and carried at times.  I quickly learned that that mentality no longer served me, and that I could let that image go as I transformed into my authentic self.

Stephen’s Response: Oh yes, Philip, I want the full rundown!  This question has singlehandely made this interview series rather popular, entertaining and thought provoking for my readers.  I’ve had some people tell me they don’t want to be interviewed here because of this very question!  Only the brave, like you, can answer it.

Very interesting to learn that you had a panic attack right before going raw.  Hmmm….  What a great solution for all of us – just stop, take deep breaths and remind ourselves that all is well, right at this moment.  It’s called being present.  We’re so overloaded with past and future thoughts that we forget to stay in the moment.

You know something funny?  When I first saw your “Before” picture, I actually thought you might have been part of a gang!  Yes, that’s right!  You just looked the part.  LOL.

10. Tell us how you got started with the Raw Food journey?  Take us back to the moment you discovered it.  What happened since then?

I was reading about fasting and came across the phrase “raw food.”  I remember googling it and coming across a book called “Raw Family” by Victoria Boutenko.  I read about how her and her family all had a different disease, and overcame them with raw food.  I remember thinking, “if they could do it, I could do it.”  I switched to a 100% raw vegan diet that same day, and haven’t been off since.

I decided to eat to my hearts content in the beginning, not worrying about fat or calories.  As time went on I noticed that my portions were getting smaller and so was my waistline.  Now, 2.5 years later my diet mainly consists of eating a salad and drinking a big green smoothie daily.

Stephen’s Response: WOOOOOW!!!  I love it.  I love it.  I love it.  I actually don’t remember how I got started or what led me to raw foods but I’m 100 percent positive it was divinely ordained.   How could it not have been?

The beautiful thing about the raw food lifestyle is that you absolutely do not ever again have to worry about fat or calories.  You know what?  Natalina Rose, author of “The Raw Food Detox Diet” put it perspective for me (her book was the first of several I would read after going raw).

She made a very interesting point when she said in her book that if you were to present a power bar and an avocado to someone to choose from, most of them, reading the ingredient label, would select the power bar because it contains less fat and calories compared to the avocado.  But the body looks at the power bar and sees all the chemicals in it and says, “I can’t break this down properly.”  On the other hand, it looks at the avocado and says, “I know exactly what to do with you!”

Like you, I’ve not concerned myself with fats or calories since going raw.  All I ask myself nowadays is, “Can my body digest and break this down?”

Another thing I want to add is that now more than ever, I’m relying heavily on my inner intuition when it comes to eating.  No green smoothie is ever the same because I keep experimenting, adding and subtracting ingredients.  I listen to my body and feed it when it tells me to (generally every 3 hours).   I plan to be writing an article on this soon because going raw has helped me “hear” my inner wisdom more and more – one many fabulous benefits of the raw food lifestyle.

Turning to the audience:  Well, folks, I’m terribly sorry to say this but we are at the end of our first interview with Philip!  But don’t worry folks, he’ll be back here one week from today with Part II.  It promises to get even more interesting as you know.  I tend to go deep with my questions.

To see more of Philip, go to the following links:

• CBS, “The Doctors”
• Video Series
• Event Pictures
• Travel Pictures

Philip, it was RAWsome having you here with us this week!  Thanks so much for inspiring the Adversity University community with your story.  We are looking forward to having you back soon!

Until next time, enjoy the rest of the week!   Go here to see Part II.

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My goodness where did the time go?  It was just a week ago when we aired Part I of my interview with Barbara Swafford but it felt like it happened yesterday!  If you didn’t catch that fabulous interview, I suggest you go back to Stephen Hopson Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging without a Blog, Part I of II because it set the Adversity University campus on fire with over 50 comments – the most ever!  This promises to be even MORE explosive because, according to Barbara, my questions truly pulled some things from the depth of her soul.  You’ll see in a moment.

By the time you read this, I’ll be on my way Texas for a keynote speaking engagement with Frito-Lay.  WOOT!!  I’m so excited!  There’s so much happening, I can barely keep up with it – more on that later.

Let’s call out Barbara from the “green room” and get this thing rolling!

BARBARA! WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU! (she literally runs into the studio waving wildly to the audience and barrels into me for a big hug).

Hey, where have you been?  It’s been a WHOLE week and we’ve already missed you! Let’s roll now!

12. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity. How have you dealt with adversity in your life? Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.

Stephen, I’ve been putting off answering this question.    It brings back a lot of sad memories, but I’m also hoping by sharing the adversity I’ve had, others will benefit.

It starts with a story.

I came from a large, tight knit family. I had lots of aunts and uncles, a set of grandparents who lived close by (within walking distance), and dozens of cousins. We always gathered together for holidays, birthdays and times of just “let’s get together” functions.   It was just like a scene from the Waltons (remember that show?).   We were a happy “clan”, living in the country, playing in the hay fields, barn or the pond, picking wild daisies or thimbleberries, running and chasing each other and having lots of laughs.   Looking back, I now see where there was some dysfunction, but at the time, it felt like we were a perfect family unit.

With families, comes loss.    And the bigger the family, the more loss you’ll experience.   Hence, death became my biggest adversity.   As you know (from part 1 of this interview), I lost my father when I was 15.  After that, our family became tighter than ever.   Mom was our “hero” and our love for her grew stronger.   Although I left the area when I was 21, I would save money so I could go home at least once a year.   She and I grew to be a wonderful example of mother and daughter.

I was living in Alaska when my mom unexpectedly died of a massive heart attack.  On that flight home, I was numb.    I gazed out the window, not seeing anything, and quietly cried all the way to Chicago.  I remember my best friend whom I traveled with (from part I of this interview, she was now living in Chicago).    When she met me at the airport, a hug from her was just what I needed.    The next two weeks were a blur (I took time off from work), but when I returned to Alaska I was so heartbroken it took all the strength I had to make it through the work day.   At the end of the day I would get in my car and cry all the way home.   I didn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and when I did, I would fall asleep with the Bible on my chest.  I remember reading, “God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle”, but many times I doubted that.

Her death hit me hard.  In a sense, I think I was grieving for her plus all of the loved who had gone on before her.   When I would think about her death, I realized I now felt like an orphan. I had lost my roots.   I was without a mother, father, and grandparents.

The loss of my mother took my life spirit out of me. I buried myself in work, but my career goals didn’t mean anything to me anymore.   After 18 months, I decided to leave Alaska.   I know I was trying to run from the pain that still haunted me, but at the time I thought if I leave where I was when she died, the memories would stay behind.   I went back to California, but as you know, memories follow us.    Fourteen months later, I moved back to Alaska.   It was shortly after that I met my (future) husband.    In a conversation with him, I told him how I felt like an orphan.    I remember him saying, “Honey, you’re not an orphan, you have me”.   Those were the sweetest words I’ve ever heard.

Death continues to be something I know I have to deal with.   As the years pass, loved ones get older, and the inevitable is obvious.   It still hurts each time I get “the call”.   That close knit family I grew up in is quite small now.

Having faced the loss of loved ones so many times, I have a lot of compassion for others who face the same.   Now I try to use what I’ve learned to help others the best I can.    I know they’ll have times when they want to be left alone, and times when holding their hand or a hug will be just what they need.    I know the pain doesn’t go away overnight, and I also realize the loss of a loved one is something that remains with us forever.

I try to teach others to cherish the time they have with their loved ones, take lots of pictures, and always, always, always tell their family and friends those three little words, “I love you”.

Whew! Stephen, that was a tough one to write. I’ve used up a half a box of Kleenex and am ready to move on.

Stephen’s Response:  And as I was “listening” to your response to this question, I felt something stirring deeply within me.  Contrary to your experience with death in the family, I’ve had very little.  My parents are both in their 70′s and they’re relatively healthy but I know the “time will come” and to be quite frank with you, I’m not looking forward to having to deal with that.

Here, let me hug you a bit – thank you for sharing that story with us.  I do remember the Walton clan from TV very well and even though everything looked “perfect,” we all know how dysfunctional they probably were behind the scenes.   I cannot imagine a family without some sort of dysfunction – it’s almost “normal” – LOL.

But seriously though, you have a great point – the power of “I love you” can NEVER be underestimated.  I make a point of calling my parents every so often just to say hi and check in with them.  You just never know.

13. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?

Love is my favorite word. It’s a word that isn’t spoken enough, but when it is, it can change a person’s heart and mend relationships. I especially love to hear parents and children say “I love you” to each other. Hearing a father and son say “I love you” makes me teary eyed.

My least favorite word is hate. To me, hate is almost like a curse word. It has such strong connotations attached to it. I prefer to hear the term “dislike” or something similar.

Stephen’s Response:  You’re right – “Love” – isn’t something that is said often enough.  It’s almost as if people are afraid to say it because it could be “misconstrued” or sound “too sappy.”  Believe me, nothing is sappy when it comes to love because, really, it supercedes everything.  In fact, love wins in the end, no matter how you slice it.

You got it Barbara – “hate” – is such a terrible thing to have around.  It arises because of fear of things we don’t understand.

14. What was the most embarrassing moment of your life that you now look back at and laugh, cry or smile? What was the lesson(s) you learned?

Stephen, you’re making me dig, aren’t you?

My most embarrassing moment was when I was leaving a company I had worked for in Alaska. It was on my last day there, and most of the day had already been like a party. It was late afternoon when this person dressed like an ape came into the office, carrying balloons (a singing telegram).

He came up to my desk, asked me to stand up and started singing to me. The next thing I knew, he picked me up. Mind you, I was wearing a dress, and my biggest concern was that my butt would be showing. After spinning me around several times, he finally put me down. I glanced around the room and realized a crowd of about 50 had gathered and had witnessed the whole thing.

My face was beet red and I just wanted to crawl under my desk. Looking back, it probably was pretty funny, and I learned it’s alright if we laugh at ourselves. Those that were laughing at what they witnessed weren’t laughing at me, they were laughing with me.

Stephen’s Response:  I loved it!  Hahaha.  How funny.  Well, yes, my dear friend, I did want you to dig in!  That’s the fun part of doing interviews.  But you realize, of course, that when you dig in and share from a deep place, you put yourself in a position to inspire untold numbers of people.  We all have “most embarrassing moments” – did you read the story about my experience with the “James Bond Lady Fiasco“?

Well, THAT was among some of my “most embarrassing moments.”   But guess what?   I’ve told it over and over again in my professional speaking engagements and even got to tell it throughout a Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest where I won first place at the District finals a few weeks ago.  Did you know that?

15. What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why? (ONLY THREE IN TOTAL)

My first choice is the Bible. I’ve turned to it for strength many times in my life, and continue to read it for spiritual growth.

My mother was always a mentor to me. She was a strong woman who taught me I could be the same. She always saw the glass as half full, was non-judgmental and always found the best in other people. She taught me I could do anything I set my mind to. I miss her.

My grandmother was also a mentor. She shared words of wisdom with me when I was a teenager and I lived by them. She said, “Honey, if you have the desire to see the world, do it while you’re young.” You see, she came to the States (from Finland) when she was young (19, I think), and shortly thereafter, married and started having babies (she had 8). She lived on the family farm and never had a chance to leave except for a few short vacations, many years later. Because of her advice, I spread my wings, traveled and delayed getting married until much later.   For me, those were great words to live by.

Stephen’s Response:  The power of having a mentor is incredible.  I’m so glad to hear your mom and grandmother were both mentors to you.  Not many people can say that about their parents or grandparents.

“Mon-judgmental” – Wow, that’s so incredibly important.  We have a society full of them, which has led to some forms of hatred, you know.   My take on things is that God is non-judgmental because He’s unconditionally loving so why can’t we humans do the same thing?  We are all God’s children, aren’t we?

I’m so glad your grandmother inspired you to “spread your wings.” 

16. Name the top 3 articles from “Blogging Without a Blog” that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from. (ONLY THREE IN TOTAL)

I have recently created my newest favorite. It’s my ”Promote Your Blog Registry” post/page.    Not only does it benefit new bloggers, but all bloggers who want to get found.    In the comment section, they get to promote themselves and tell others why their blog is worthy of a visit.   I have a link to it in my sidebar. It’s a great place to promote your blog, and for others to find you. The list is steadily growing and I can see how it will be a great resource for finding future “New Blog Of The Week” entrants, as well.    WooHoo!

Speaking of my New Blog Of The Week (NBOTW) series, I’ve modified it and am now including some “older” bloggers as well.   They are called my “(Not So) New Blogs Of The Week”.   Let’s face it, unless we’re one of the big boys/girls, we can always use more traffic/attention.

The second article that is valuable is from when I interviewed Lorelle. She kindly took time to answer my questions in depth and I recapped the complete interview in Interview With Lorelle VanFossen, A Recap and A Bonus. She shared tons of beneficial information that’s worthy of book marking.

In my A.S.K. (Answers Sharing Knowledge) series, Liz Strauss answered a question for me about building a blog community that holds very true. Both the question and Liz’s answer can be found in
How Do You Inspire Your Readers To Join Your Community?

Stephen’s Response:  Wow – I commend you on your goals in “pimping” other bloggers like crazy.  Hahaha, I bet the word “pimping” made you fall off your chair, when I first mentioned it last week, didn’t it?

Well, it’s true – I mean think about it-with you promoting others via your blog registry, you’re giving people, particularly beginners (and now ancient bloggers like….me?), a chance to shine.  Isn’t that called “pimping?”  LOL.

I had the good fortune of Lorelle and Liz this summer at the blogging conference (SOBCon08).  We all had a fabulous time.  I frequently keep in touch with both of them via email and Twitter.  I’m so glad you got to know them as well!

17. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Thank you my child, you have left this world a better place.   You’re work is done. Welcome home!”

Stephen’s Response:  I loved that!!  “Your work is done, welcome home.”  That evoked warm feelings all over me.

18. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear. Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

I love to hear laughter. Whether it’s from a baby, an elderly person or anyone in between, it always warms my heart.    In some instances it’s also contagious.   There’s nothing funnier than laughing so hard you almost pee your pants.   Did I just say that?  

The sounds I detest are when I hear adults screaming at each other or worse yet, at children.   It almost makes me physically ill.    I want to shake them and say “STOP!”

Stephen’s Response:  Oh yes, you just did say “pee your pants.”  Well, didn’t the so-called experts also say “laughter is best medicine”?   There’s nothing like a good belly laugh!  It makes every cell in your body tingle, you know?

I don’t know whether you’ve seen screaming matches between people but I have and it’s a horrible thing to witness.  I’ve seen enraged adults at Little League baseball games with one of the parents (usually the father) screaming at the kid, umpire or the coach.   Not a very good example of good sportsmanship, huh?  Makes you want to smack the guy and say WAKE UP!  And then you have those mothers who scold their kids around in the aisle of the supermarket.

I better stop because then I’m getting judgmental here, right?  Well, it is none of our business, isn’t it?  They have to do what they have to do in their own best way.  All we can do is pray for them, right?

19. We all have our likes and dislikes. What would you say turns you on and what turns you off? Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

I love to see people being kind and loving toward each other. It warms my heart when I see love and admiration in the eyes of a child, parent or spouse. I also love to see elderly people walking and holding hands. That’s so sweet.

Cruelty of any kind, extreme negativity, and blatant lies are a huge turn off.

Stephen’s Response:  Same here, same here!

20. What’s the biggest, boldest dream you have for yourself Barbara? In other words, using inspiration from the movie “The Bucket List” (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freedman, 2007), what’s on your bucket list?

Stephen, I have to admit I haven’t seen the movie, but as for my biggest boldest dreams, you leave me thinking. Having done so much in my life, right now I’ve very content with my life just the way it is. I have a wonderful husband, family, long time friends, and new ones in blogosphere. I don’t want for much. I just pray we keep our good health and make enough money to pay the bills and put food on the table. My years have taught me it’s not “stuff” or “greener pastures”, or exotic travels that make me happy. My happiness comes from within, and I’m at that point in my life where I’m grateful for where life has led me.

Stephen’s Response:  I think you’d like the movie, based on what I’ve learned about you the past two interviews.   You’re right – happiness comes from within – there’s no argument with that!

21. And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?

That’s easy. You can find me, and more about me on Blogging Without A Blog.   I hope to see you there.

Stephen. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for this interview. As you know, parts of it were difficult for me to write, but in the end, I do hope what I have shared helps others.

WHAT!? The interview is OVER?  OVAH?  OVAH?  You’re done with us?!??!  Well, Barbara, it was extraordinary, let me tell you!  The honor was mine for having you with us the past two weeks because through your powerful stories, we surely got to know you a whole lot more, not to mention being reminded of a couple of important life lessons!

Turning to the audience:  Don’t forget to check out Barbara’s Blogging Without a Blog and join her community there as well!

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View outside my office window Thursday morning

As I sit here Thursday morning, I am feeling a burst of incredible sense of gratitude that it only made sense for me to write it NOW rather than waiting until later.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE WITH YOU.  Let me start off by saying that for some reason, I’m feeling indescribably clear-headed with full energy coursing throughout my body.  While I peck away at the keyboard, I am looking outside and witnessing the emergence of a gorgeous, sunny Fall Day.  Nothing compares to looking at crystal blue skies with the sun spilling every-which-way!  I’m so grateful that we can be blessed with something equally accessible to everyone – THE SUN!   It just amazes me how the sun can be out in full force like that, giving everything life-sustaining energy.

Okay folks, I am so excited about writing this week’s gratitude post because I’ve been blessed in numerous ways.  It has me on a natural high – better than smoking a cigar!  Let’s get started, shall we?

The Decision to Reconnect with My Inner Self

Vita-Mix Blender 5200

You all know I embarked on a raw food journey on September 9, 2008.  Well, GOSH, I’ve learned so much since that day.  AND I’M STILL LEARNING.

After reading up on numerous articles online, I went out and plunged down almost $500 for a Vita-Mix Blender that I use almost every day to make my morning green smoothies.   A few of you have asked me to share my smoothie recipe, which I’ll give at the end, okay?

I cannot begin to tell you how this has radically changed my life, especially from the inside out.  A friend from the area thinks I’ve gone bonkers.  I think she’s scared of me now because we haven’t spoken all week.  LOL.

While I cannot exactly pinpoint how I began the raw food lifestyle, the more I think about it, the more I realize this is something I felt divinely called to do in order to take my potential to the next level.  I believe that God has called me to do something without realizing what it was that I was doing.

Reconnecting with my inner spirit.

Basically, I’ve been on an internal cleanse of sorts.  Releasing a whole bunch of toxins stored inside my body, mind and spirit.   While I was never “obese,” I did let myself go to the point where I wasn’t caring much about what I was eating.  I also let myself subscribe to the ridiculous belief that because I was over 40, it was “normal” to have a potbelly.    So, I thought, “Who cares?  It’s normal!”

Because of that defeatist attitude, I stopped working out and lost all motivation to exercise.   There were days when I would literally drag myself to the gym but then once I got there, I hardly pushed myself.  I would just go in for a quickie workout and then murmur to myself, “There, I just visited the gym.  That counts for something, right?”

One day at the beginning of the summer, I looked at the mirror and truly didn’t like what I was seeing.  I was almost at 180 lbs – not obese but a bit over the edge for my 5′ 7″ frame.  That’s when I made a firm decision to do something about it.  I discovered the “Tim Ferris Diet” which I experimented with for 30 Days and reported the results here (see “30 Day Experiments” in the sidebar).  Little did I know that this experiment was preparing me for something else entirely – the raw food adventure.

Remember my famous quote, “We are life’s perpetual trainees”??  Yep, that’s right.   Throughout our life, we are constantly preparing ourselves for what’s to come.   You and I are trainees for life.    How’s that for a different way of thinking?

So I’m very grateful for this new journey because not only have I witnessed myself eliminating excess body weight (I now weigh 154.5, the lowest in a long time!) but I’ve also noticed that I appear to be much more clear headed.  There’s no sense of fogginess or feelings of sluggishness – NONE AT ALL.   I feel as if I can tackle the world!

Last week I hinted that I was planning a visit to a local Hydrocolonic Therapist and then tell you about it.   Some of you were like, “Nah, leave that one out” while others were egging me on.

Like it or not, here it is ladies and gentlemen!

Take the Garbage Out! – A Visit with a Hydrotherapist

Thanks to Natalia Rose of “The Raw Food Detox Diet” a seed was planted in my head to have a colonic cleansing.  In an appropriately titled chapter, “You Need To Take the Garbage Out!”, she outlined different reasons why one might consider a visit with the hydrotherapist.

In that chapter, she gave the new raw foodist a couple of options including getting an over-the-counter enema kit, using a specially designed stool in the bathroom, deep breathing exercises, sweating it out (via physical fitness for example), dry brushing and visiting a specialized colon therapist.

Body Brush (Walmart)

Not only did I get myself a dry body brush (see photo), commenced deep breathing exercises and continued to sweat it out at the gym but I also made an appointment to see a therapist.

Hey, for those who know me, when I am committed, I GO ALL OUT!!!   I’m like a locomotive train that cannot stop once it picks up speed.  There’s no holding me back when I’m excited about something.  That’s how I became very successful on Wall Street, the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot (Feb 2006) and now a national motivational speaker.

By the way, I found myself laughing and smiling while reading Steve Pavlina’s amusing list:  You Know When You Are a Raw Foodist When……. Check it out!

Anyway, because I never had a colonic done, I had no idea where to start looking for one.   So I went totally on faith and trusted that I’d be led to the right place.   First and foremost was that I wanted a certified hydrotherapist.  No way I was going to visit some fly-by-night operation for something like this!   I wanted to be administered by someone who knew what he/she was doing.

Colon Hydrotherapy Room at Crossroads Education and Wellness Center

I looked through the colonic network and found a couple of certified therapists in Canton, a 30 to 40 minute drive south of here.  To my surprise, there weren’t any listed in my area.  After checking out both of their websites, I emailed one of them and called the other.

I ended up speaking to Linda Clifton, a National Board Certified Colon Hydrotherapist at Crossroads Education and Wellness Center (website currently under renovation today).  After talking with her for several minutes, I went with my intuition and ended up making an appointment to see her on Monday, October 20, 2008.    Interestingly and  synchronistically enough, the other therapist never responded to my email.

Let me tell you, it was an incredible, uplifting experience!!  The moment I walked into Crossroads, I immediately knew I had done the right thing.    The place was warm and inviting.  The air was filled with a pleasant scent, reminding me of the incense I used in my own home.  The walls were painted soft, relaxing colors and the receptionist was very friendly.

What confirmed my initial feelings was when I met Linda herself.   Not only was she full of light and energy but she was super easy to lipread – a big deal to someone like me.   She has a soft spoken way of speaking that easily reaches the depth of your heart, instantly putting you at ease.   She carried out the procedure with remarkable efficiency and integrity.    Not once did I feel my dignity violated.

What was interesting was that she commented several times throughout the procedure that I had one of the cleanest colons she had ever seen.   At one point she looked at me and said, “You don’t really need me!”

When she said that, I knew I was in the midst of a genuine person with integrity.   Here was someone who could have egged me on and suggested that I have 2 more cleanings and then “I’ll be good as new.”   Not her.

She told me of clients who actually clogged her equipment that I was looking pretty darn good in comparison!   Although I couldn’t tell immediately whether I benefited from the cleansing (since there was little to clean to begin with!), I did weigh myself the next morning and found that I had lost another pound and a half.

But something strange happened later that night.   Around 2 or 3 am, I woke up to find myself sweating profusely  – a major detox symptom.  I told Linda about it the next morning in an email and she replied that my liver was trying to communicate with me in a state of confusion.  There I was, putting my body through a major detoxing program with raw foods and a first-time colonic treatment, yet before I went to bed, I had a cigar!  At least that was Linda’s interpretation.   Interestingly enough, the next night I lit up another one and did not experience the sweating episode again.    Hmm……….

Enjoying a cigar at my brother's house in Virginia a month ago or so...

Despite the liver’s rather profound statement, I’m not ready to give up on cigars.  Yes, I know it clashes big time with the new raw food lifestyle but I’m not there yet.  I may or may not give it up.   One step at a time baby, right?

I’m still evaluating the outcome of my first colonic.   The last few days I’ve not only experienced fabulous energy throughout most of the day (which is something I was already experiencing), but I’ve also noticed a surge in clear thinking.  I’m hoping that will translate to my writing and speaking endeavors.  On top of that, I hope to feel even closer to God, the universe and my angels.

Other people have reported better digestion, sensation of overall well being (like enhanced sense of smell), more energy and additional weight loss, to name a few.

Bottom line?  The decision to have a colonic was definitely synchronistic.   Not only was I led to the right person (whom I highly recommend for anyone in the Northeastern Ohio area – please go to her website or make an appointment at 330-477-6400) but I have also developed a great friendship with her.    Since that day, we’ve been constantly emailing each other back and forth, sharing thoughts, ideas and may even end up partnering in a speaking venture!

God is indeed working wonders in my life and leading me to bigger and better things – for that I AM GRATEFUL!

Interview with Barbara Swafford Generated the Biggest Response EVER!

First, I want to once again thank Sharmaine Hobbs for leading me to Barbara Swafford of Blogging without a Blog.  After I visited Barbara’s blog, I knew Adversity University was in for a major treat if she accepted my invitation to be interviewed here.

Not only did she accept but when it aired this past Wednesday, it generated a GIGANTIC RESPONSE from the Internet with over 50 comments and still climbing!  That, my fellow friends, is unprecedented at Adversity University!   Many of her fans took the time to leave comments about how much Barbara helped them see the light when they were just beginning bloggers.

This whole thing makes me feel great because I listened to my intuition which said to “interview this special lady.”  I really enjoy shining the spotlight on those who help others.  She left a comment saying after this interview aired and the comments that followed, it made her cry.

For those of you who have not seen Part I, please do so – I guarantee you’ll be uplifted especially when you hear about how her siblings supported her mother when the father died plus how she got a job as an Executive Housekeeper with ZERO experience.  It’s not to be missed – see it at the Stephen Hopson Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging without a Blog – Part I of II.

You’ll be glad you did.

A Life Changing Comment by Sid Savara

Sid Savara from Hawaii

While I love all of your comments, every once in a while I get one that truly gets my attention, especially before retiring for the night.  While I have solicited endorsements for my future book, Obstacle Illusions, I’ve never asked for testimonials for the work I do here.

Here’s what Sid Savara wrote one night:

Hi Stephen,

Congratulations man! I loved reading your stories about advancing, and I’m really happy you won – unlike some other writers out there who talk about improving, they never put themselves out there. You on the other hand, do – you don’t just talk about losing weight, you tried a couple different approaches. And this isn’t another “How To Give a Great Speech” article – it’s a play by play of how you did it.

Amazingly, though we’ve been interacting on your blog and on facebook, somehow I didn’t make the connection until today when a friend forwarded me you Next Best Selling Author video from YouTube that I had seen you before, months ago! I’m of course talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuqlVivegXg

At the time, I sent emails to dozens of my friends, as I first saw the video right around May or June, and people were talking about how hard it was finding a job out of college etc. I thought it was a great story and hit home the point that if you want it badly enough, you can have it.

Funny what a small world it is, isn’t it? I don’t even remember how I first came upon this site – I think it must have been through one of the other blogs I read no doubt, but now it’s one of my “A-List” blogs – my personal folder in google reader, with a handful of blogs that I always read – I may go on vacation and ignore TechCrunch when I come back, but I always catch up on yours!

WOW.   Wouldn’t you be floored with a comment like that?   THANK YOU SID! 

Okay, that about wraps up this week’s gratitude post.   Now for the recipe you’ve all been waiting for……….

Stephen’s Favorite Green Smoothie Receipe

This morning

2 fistfuls of Spinach leaves (preferably Organic)

1 orange (peeled)

1 fistful (or two) frozen strawberries

1/2 banana

1 tsp flax seeds (any health food store)

1 fistful of ice if desired

8 oz. of water

1 – 2 sticks of celery

1/2 tomato

Put them all in a blender and voila!

The amazing thing is you can mix and match.  Green leafy vegetables work well with just about any fruit and vegetable you put in there.  This happens to be my favorite but I make them on the fly every single morning.  No two smoothies are ever the same.  I just listen to my intuition and play.

Some days I’ll take out some things and add mango, apples; while other mornings I’ll mix in blueberries, cranberries or blackberries.  Sometimes I’ll add raw honey.   Hemp seeds, Chia Seeds, gogi berries and even raw caceo beans (raw chocolate) have found their way in the blender too.   The variety is endless!!!

The benefits I’ve experienced include but are not limited to:

• More energy, especially for workouts in the morning
• A sense of calm
• Detox of the body
• Better “waste management”
• Clear head
• Less desire for cooked meat and coffee (a big one since I LOVED coffee and still do but drinking it much less these days – in fact, I didn’t have any coffee this week!!)
• Vivid dreams at night that I can remember the next morning
• Sense of closeness with my inner spirit, God and the universe

You might have other experiences completely different from mine but I’ll tell you this – it has completely changed my mornings!!!  In 46 days since I started the raw food journey, I’ve lost a total of 11 additional pounds (remember I started the Tim Ferris Diet earlier in the summer and lost about 7 lbs. from that) plus 3.5 inches off my “belly to belly” measurements.

Food for thought:  What about you?  What are you grateful for?  Go and tell in the comment section!  Don’t be shy.  We want you to tell us because then you’ll feel better after the telling.  Try it and you’ll see what I mean!

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Ok, it looks like we’re back to interviewing people again after a few absent weeks.    Sorry about that folks!

Now the blogger I’m about to introduce you to was brought to my attention by Sharmaine Hobbs of When Women Awaken -  you all remember her when she was interviewed here, right?   Well, because she recommended this particular blogger, I decided to check her out and found myself intrigued with someone who runs a blog called “Blogging without a Blog.”

I asked myself, “Now, how is it possible to blog without having a blog?”   I’ve never heard a such a thing so I spent some time on her site and realized this was someone I wanted to interview.

So, Barbara Swafford is here from “Blogging without a Blog” – let’s call her out from the green room!

Welcome to Adversity  University Barbara!!  ((hugging her))   Looks like everyone’s excited to be back here again with me interviewing interesting people like YOU.   Shall we get to it?

Okay then!

Let’s fire away…..

1.  One of my favorite questions when I want to learn about someone is by asking them to give me their 5-second introduction when I pose the question: “What do you do for a living?”

Sixteen years ago, my husband and I started an excavation business.   He works out in the field, and I work in the office handing the administrative duties.    I always say, “He’s the brawn, and I’m the brains”.  Haha.

Stephen’s Response:  I once knew a pilot who was in the excavation business up in Michigan.   Apparently this airplane owner was doing pretty well in the business to afford a nice twin engine airplane.  Do you have a plane yourselves?

2. Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at your blog “Blogging Without a Blog.”

I’m a very independent person who learned to fend from myself at an early age.    I was 15 when my father died and losing the “bread winner” forced/taught me and my siblings to be resourceful and enterprising.   That summer I went to the big city (Chicago) to work as a nanny/babysitter for a family who had six children to earn money for school clothes.   It was a little scary being that far away from home, but from then on, we all made it our mission to work when we could and take part of the burden off of our mother.

After spending one year in college, I knew I wanted to travel.   Again I earned/saved money and my best friend and I set out on a road trip to the West Coast.   We ran out of money when we reached California (We had $2.35 to our names).   Both of us were too proud to call home (and claim failure) so we took jobs as maids in a Bay Area hotel.   Until we had enough money saved for an apartment, we slept in the car and took cold showers in a beach cabana.   Looking back, it was a great experience that set me on a path of knowing I could do anything I set my mind to.

Stephen’s Response:  What an inspiring story – the tale of your siblings contributing with each of you having a job and therefore taking the pressure off your Mom.  Wow!   I’ll bet your Mom appreciated it.

I love how you and your friend found yourselves a job after arriving in California penniless from a cross country trek.   Your experience kind of sounds like Adam Shepard’s story.  Have you heard of him?

Adam wrote a book called “Scratch Beginnings” where he purposefully set out to be homeless for one year and worked his way back to living above the poverty level with the goal of obtaining a decent apartment, a car and about $2500 in savings (he actually saved twice that amount).  It was recently released by publishing giant Harper Collins and I think you’ll love it as much as I did.

Like Adam’s experience, yours taught you how to set your mind to something and achieve it, regardless of the situation.  That’s very, very powerful.  It planted a fabulous seed of determination inside you.  That was definitely a defining moment for you, wasn’t it?

3.  How long have you been blogging at “Blogging Without a Blog”?

It was late March of 2007 when I went live with my first post.    I’m now coming up on my 19 month anniversary of blogging.

Stephen’s Response:  Congratulations on having made it this far.  There’s evidence that many bloggers give up after a few months.  Blogging is not easy – it requires commitment, energy and focus.

4.  What is the real reason you started “Blogging Without a Blog”   How did you come up with that fascinating name? I’ve never heard a such a thing – how can you blog without blogging?

Funny you should ask. Blogging Without A Blog wasn’t meant to be my primary blog.   Observation Mountain was.

It all goes back to a time when I was searching for other passions in my life.    I happened on the book, “The Secret” and after reading it, went online to research more about the law of attraction.   My search brought me to Steve Pavlina’s blog.   After reading many of his posts, I realized by having a blog I could share my thoughts, help others and possibly make money in the process.   He made it look pretty easy, so I said, “Hey, why not?” I then started doing more research.   Not knowing any of the technical stuff involved with blogging, I attacked it the same way I did my college studies.    I took notes.    One day as I was adding to what I had previously written, I wrote, “here I am, blogging without a blog”.    Hence, the name was born.

In reality, blogging is no different than someone who journals or writes their thoughts on paper/computer. With a blog we are sharing our thoughts with the world.

Looking back, it was probably a silly name to pick for a blog, but it’s memorable.

Blogging Without A Blog was never meant to be more than me writing what I was learning.   I didn’t expect to get very much traffic.   After all, who would read my stuff when there were blogging professionals like Darren Rowse (Problogger) and Lorelle (Lorelle on WordPress) sharing their knowledge?

Ironically I did get a few comments, and you might say I got bit by the “comment bug”. I then visited their blogs and soon I got bit by the “community bug”, but I didn’t realize that’s what it was.

The rest, you might say, is history.

Stephen’s Response:  It sounds like blogging evolved for you.  I think I could say the same thing for myself.  I’m very good friends with Lorelle and I know how much she loves helping other bloggers.  Darren, who I’ve never met, did accept an article from me called How to Make your Videos More Accessible to an Untapped Market of Millions.

You most DEFINITELY have an interesting and memorable name for blogging, probably causing people to take a double look and think to themselves, “How can you blog without blogging?”   That was the kind of reaction I had.  It made me curious.  Such is the power of “unusual names.’

I can certainly relate to the “comment and community” bugs.  Since Day 1, I’ve strived to encourage community participation via comments.  Some days we have more than other days.   It’s an interesting to observe.  I’m still learning how to draw people out of the woodwork.   It’s not easy but it’s very rewarding.

You and I are a lot alike – when we are bitten by something, we attack it with gusto and go all out – like I did with my flying dreams and what I’m doing now with my new raw food lifestyle.

I think one of the reasons I was drawn to your blog was not only because of the name but I also sensed this energy about you in terms of being passionate about what you’re doing.   Looks like my previous hunches about you have proven correct!

5.  One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed, Barbara, is because I am fascinated with the amount of comments you get at “Blogging Without a Blog.” It’s not unusual to see between 30 to 60 comments from your community, which means you come across someone who is authentic. Somehow you elicit emotional responses from a wide spectrum of different people. I love that! What is your secret?

Stephen, I don’t know what my “secret” is.    If I really think about it, maybe it’s because I like to listen to people.    I learned years ago I could learn so much more from listening and observing than I could by talking.    I also try to make everyone feel welcome on my blog just as I would if they were visiting my home.

Stephen’s Response:  Listening is a critical skill.  People LOVED to be listened to, especially if they took the time to leave a “value-added” comment.  Everybody’s busy these days but if they take a moment or two to share their feelings, thoughts and comments, you can bet they want to be acknowledged.  When you, as a blogger, respond to many of their comments, they feel as if they’re being listened to, even if you don’t agree with their veiwpoints or whatever.  At least they’re being heard.

Which actually reminds me – would you believe that people constantly tell me that I “hear” better than those who can hear?   I mean, I’ve been deaf since birth but I have lots of people telling me I have great listening skills because I give my total attention when in a conversation with others.   My eyes don’t wander to see who else just came into the room, for example.   I am not easily distracted – even if someone tries to interrupt the conversation.  I’ll just put up a finger to signal that I’m still listening to the other person.  How do you think the speaker feels when I do that?

6.  If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are?

I’m a Christian who genuinely cares about others. I respect the fact we are all human beings, each created equally.    I’m a giver, and a person who keeps their promises.   I’m a friend who believes in cultivating friendships.   In addition to that, I’m a wife, (step)mother, grandmother and a sister.

Stephen’s Response:  You certainly sound like you are living your life’s purpose in the way God intended for the human race!

7.  What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Given?

The best advice I got was from my parents.   They taught us no matter what we do, ALWAYS, give it our best.

The best advice I’ve given was to my step children.   I told them all of their actions will have consequences, good or bad.   I’m now happy to see they are now teaching that to their children.

Stephen’s Response:  Makes sense – “always give it your best.”  I can attest to that.  I’ve had business situations that some people thought didn’t go very well but I felt otherwise because I knew I had done my very best.  That’s what counts, right?

8.  What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?

That goes back to when I was 23.    I had worked my way up from maid at that hotel (see #2 answer) and was now working in reservations.   The position for Executive Housekeeper came available and my boss mentioned to me that I should apply. I had no managerial experience, but with his encouragement, I said “What have I got to lose?”   My interview was with the General Manager.    No sooner had I sat down, he said, “Barbara, I’ll be honest with you. I have a stack of applications of people with as much as 40 years of experience.   I’m wondering, why would you even ask for an interview when you’re lacking the experience?”    I was a little stunned, and knew he thought I was wasting his time, but I looked at him and said, “You’re right, the only experience I have is as a maid.   However, I’m looking at you.   You’re young (he was about 35).   You stared at the bottom, too, but someone gave you a break.”    I paused and then said, “Hopefully you’ll be the one giving me a break.”

Three days later, I was sitting at my desk, chewing gum and doing my job.   The General Manager walked in and said, “Barbara, didn’t anyone tell you the Executive Housekeeper shouldn’t be chewing gum”.

I got the job and went on to manage a staff of 55.    It was a great learning experience, and with the support of my old boss and the General Manager, that started my career.

Stephen’s Response:  Wow, how courageous of you to dare take the risk and speak your mind.  I did that when I was interviewed at Merrill Lynch years ago.  The manager didn’t know what to do with me but I spoke up and said, “If you don’t hire me, you’ll never know what I can do for this firm.”  I was hired and 4 years later I was pulling down six figures.

Despite my success on Wall Street, i’ve NEVER managed a staff of 55.  That’s very impressive.  In fact, I don’t care for managing people all that much.  While I was in Corporate America, I preferred to work independently and do what was expected of me.  I did have some supervisory positions but wasn’t crazy about being responsible for the actions of those who reported to me.  I admire how you ended up in a position for which you had absolutely NO experience.  WOW.

(Turning to the audience) – Do you see what I mean?  Just because you have no experience, no credentials, no MBA (or whatever it is you think you need) doesn’t mean you can’t have the job or career that you want!  Barbara is proof of that.  Just re-read her story again and let it sink in your subconscious mind.

9.  We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

On the dark side, I don’t have a lot of tolerance for those who are not willing to help themselves, but instead expect the government to pick up the tab.    I’m also intolerant to those who abuse others, whether it be spouses, children, the elderly or animals.

Stephen’s Response:  Very interesting response – you must have either experienced this firsthand, having seen it somewhere close by to have this kind of view.

10.  Ah, I think I’ve discovered the secret to the amount of responses you get at your blog. You’re doing something similiar to what I’ve been doing. Can you guess what it is?

Give up?

You enjoy pimping the heck out of other bloggers, particularly those who are new! For example, you have a “New Blog of the Week” up on the main page to help promote other bloggers. That means you love to shine the spotlight on others, just as I do here through the interview series.

Tell me, Barbara, what inspired you to do this? Tell me what led you to be so generous?

(Ladies and gentlemen, can you see why I am thrilled to have someone like Barbara here with us? She loves to shine the spotlight on others, how can anyone not respond to that???)

(Sorry Barbara, I got carried away, but as you can see, I get excited when I’m in the presence of a giving person like YOU.)

Okay, I’ll shut up now, your turn!

Well Stephen, I’ve never thought of it as “pimping” other bloggers, but when you put it that way, you’re right.

During the course of blogging, I would find other new bloggers who voiced concern of how they weren’t getting found.    I researched to see how we could get noticed, and although many wrote to use SEO (search engine optimization), comment on other blogs, join blog carnivals, use registries, etc, no one went beyond that.    I was starting to get a little bit of traffic and loyal visitors, so I decided to “pay it forward”.  My thought was, if I could showcase a blogger for a week long period, maybe it would help them get some of the traffic from my blog.

I don’t think of it as being “generous”, as much as just being helpful and considerate.   With the blogging community being a group of kind and caring people (minus the bad eggs), we need a way to find each other.   It’s just a small contribution on my part.

Stephen’s Response:  Haha, isn’t that a funny way of putting it?  “Pimping Other Bloggers.”  I’ll bet when you first heard of it, images of a pimp flashed across your mind, didn’t it?  haha.  Well, aren’t both of us pimping others to the hilt with you exposing new bloggers and me interviewing “interesting people who happen to have a blog”?

It’s all about helping others experience the spotlight.  I love it when people do that for me, so why shouldn’t I (or we) do it for others?  It’s like giving Christmas presents and watching the receipient exclaim in delight.  To me that’s really exciting.  I love getting emails from people who have been interviewed here and having them tell me how much it meant to them.  I always feel this sense of inner satisfaction when that happens.

11.  What would you say was the defining moment (personal “tipping point” per sey) that forever changed the course of your life? For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

Remember the road trip my best friend and I took? (See question #2) It was on that trip I was reading a book written by Ruth Montgomery (Don’t ask me the title as it was too many years ago.).    It was in that book I learned to believe in the power of our spiritual angels. It was then I “felt” the presence of my deceased father watching over us, guiding us.   From that moment on, I’ve felt “safe”.    Looking back I know I have been in situations that could have turned out tragic, but because of split second delays, or the interaction of another person, I’ve been diverted from encountering negative situations.    For me, I see that as the hand of a Higher Power in my life.

Stephen’s Response:    Yes, I remember the road trip you told us about.  In fact, my response to that story was “I’ll bet this was a defining point in your life, wasn’t it?”

As for the book that was written by Ruth Montgomery, I suppose we could google it and find something on the Internet.

I also very much believe in spiritual angels.  Absolutely.  In fact, I’ve written extensively about them in previous blog articles like Is There Such a Thing as Divine Intervention?-You Tell Me!

BARBARA, we are out of time now.  Thanks for sharing such heartwarming, uplifting stories about your life!  We look forward to seeing you again next week.

(Turning to audience):  Let’s give her a hearty applause.  Please leave comments before you leave and tell her how much her you enjoyed her inspirational stories and don’t forget to check out Blogging without a Blog – she’ll be waiting for you there!

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