Winston Churchill once said when he was a boy, he told his childhood friend that he would one day save the British Empire from falling into enemy hands.  He didn’t know how he knew that but he said with confidence, “It is my destiny and I know it.”

Doesn’t that give you chills? 

Bette Midler said in an interview that years before she hit it big time, she often told her friends that it was her destiny to become a famous entertainer.  Like Churchill, she heard her destiny calling.  

Each of us are born with it.  We are preordained with a certain set of skills, knowledge and know-how in order to fulfill what we came here to do.  Not all of us realize or even believe in it, which is unfortunate.  Even though we came here to achieve a certain mission, some of us may miss the mark and never get there because we were too preoccupied to stop, think and seek it out.  Others had a powerful awakening with the thought, “So that’s why I’m here!”

Photo Credit:  Lenny

That’s what happened to me when I took a brief vacation from the hustle and bustle of Wall Street during the early 90′s.  You can read the story here.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve dreamt of taking the world stage in some way form or shape.   Up to that point, I more or less struggled to find the meaning of life.  The fact that I was born deaf made absolutely no sense to me.  Why would anyone want that?  I know I didn’t!

But the moment I was jolted out of my stupor on the beach, it became crystal clear.  It was like the big bang that scattered the seeds of destiny throughout the universe.  The stage was set and there was no turning back.  My days on Wall Street were numbered and I knew it.

Destiny is like that.  It prepares you every step of the way until it appears at your doorstep.  In ”20 Ways of Looking at Life in a Different Way,” I mentioned that everything you’ve experienced in life has been in preparation for what’s to come later.  In fact, you are life’s perpeptual trainee.

So what are you being prepared for?  Where are you right now?  What’s your destiny?  What’s mine?  I’m glad you asked.  For yours and mine are almost identical, yet radically different.

What you and I have in common is this:  To inspire, uplift and to leave a lasting impact.  The method by which you achieve that depends on your unique inner blueprint. 

How do you know what it contains?  

Think back to when you were a child.  What was it that you did that made time fly?  If you can’t think back that far, ask yourself what you have an incredibly strong passion for.  There has to be something you love doing.  Whatever it is, that’s what you were destined to do.   Your passion is the window to your soul. 

As a kid, I loved imagining myself in front of an audience.  I often played schoolteacher in my tiny bedroom, pretending to spout forth great knowledge to my imaginary students.  I had a glorious time doing it!  

The odd thing is, at least on the surface, I am probably the least likely candidate to get up on stage and use my own voice to speak.  After all, I’ve been deaf since birth.  How ironic, wouldn’t you agree?  Destiny is like that too – it can turn the most unlikely scenario and make it real. 

Something magical happens when I’m speaking to an audience.  Even though I continue to experience thousands of butterflies in my stomach, sometimes to the point of not sleeping well the night before, the moment I step into the spotlight, I go into the “zone” and the words slide forth.  That’s how I know I was born to do this.

Of course, we all have free will.  Destiny, although preordained, is not set in stone.  I could have ignored the beach incident and stayed on Wall Street.  But destiny came knocking and I obeyed. 

You don’t need another book, another seminar, another counselor telling you what you came here to do.

You already know it.  It is inside you  – waiting.  

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Peggy’s list actually gave me an idea. While I’ve shown the following YouTube video before, I’ve never actually asked you to help me pass it along. According to traffic statistics at Adversity University, about 100 people a day stop by for a visit. If each one of you took a few minutes to forward this video to 5 people on your list, that you personally know would be inspired by its contents, that means at least 500 people could witness the power of three words that once tumbled out of a fifth grade teacher’s lips so many years ago.

As you will see in the video, Mrs. Jordan simply said three words, “THAT’S RIGHT, STEPHEN!”, forever causing a ripple effect that continues to expand even 30 years later. I have written a book with that title (which I expect to publish in 2008) and plan to do a bus tour that same year. By speaking of how much of difference she made in my life, this is my way of giving back to her and reminding current/future teachers that they are very much needed in today’s classroom.

Can you imagine if teachers knew the potential impact on their students the way Mrs. Jordan impacted mine?

Will you help me pay it forward? You are invited to do this a couple of ways:

1. Click the “Share” button at the end of the video and follow their instructions (YouTube provides three ways of passing this forward easily and effortlessly).

2. At the end at the very bottom of this post, there’s a “Share This.” Click on that and you’ll be able to forward the entire blog entry to people you think should see this.

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As you know, I am a big proponent on the Law of Attraction. We are 100 percent responsible for our lives. We draw to us people, places and circumstances. The LOA says that if we want good things to happen to us, the key is to FEEL GOOD. Feeling good raises our energy vibration, bringing us what we want for ourselves easily and effortlessly.

Take a look at a few things that make me feel bad and what I’m doing about them:

1. Budgeting does not make me feel good. People will tell you it’s a “responsible thing to do” but I digress. It only serves to remind me how much more money I want to have so subconsciously it sets in motion the lack feeling. What happens? I feel bad. So why do it?

2. Eating junk food makes me feel fat and causes me to experience low energy. If I eat enough of that stuff, I start to see results in the mirror, which makes me feel bad. So why eat junk food if you know it’s going to make you feel that way?

3. When I was a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch, I was obsessed with monthly sales quotas and if I wasn’t close to making them, I felt bad. So what did I do? I stopped looking at them!

4. When I don’t go to the gym for even a brief workout, I feel bad. In fact, I feel “guilty.” Why? Because I KNOW that if I go, even for a brief period of time, I feel better afterwards yet I don’t always do it because I get lazy or let “life” interfere. The solution? I discipline myself and workout even if it’s only for a half hour so I can feel better.

5. This one is my favorite. Comparing myself to others make me feel bad. When I do that, I feel inadequate and feel like a failure. So what to do? I stopped comparing myself to other people and instead believe that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I will get to where I want to go at the right time, under the right circumstances with the right people. That line of thinking always makes me feel good.

6. In the closet of my hallway there is a container of Tide detergent called Simple Pleasures (Vanilla and Lavender scent). I discovered this when shopping one day and decided to try it. Once I did my first load of laundry with this detergent and realized how great it smelled afterwards (thus making me feel good), I’ve been using it ever since. Who would ever have thought that a particular brand of detergent would make you feel good? Imagine how good it feels to slide under the freshly laundered bedsheets smelling of vanilla and lavender when I go to sleep at night! That means I feel good every single night when I retire, putting my mind in a good frame of reference regardless of how the day went.

7. What about when you look at yourself in the mirror? I’ll bet this one will draw some ire from the “I love myself folks.” Do you feel bad when you look at your body in the bathroom? Are your eyes drawn to those love handles that you’ve grown to detest? Does looking at them make you feel bad? I know it does for me. Instead of staring at those love handles, I now look at other parts of myself. Without being vain or egoistical, I do think I’m a pretty looking guy so I’ll say to myself in the mirror, “Hey, dude, you ain’t bad looking”! Then I’ll wink at myself for good measure. That always makes me feel good.

8. How about the people you hang around with? Do they belittle you under the disguise of “joking around,” making you feel bad? Actually, no one can make us feel anything unless we allow them to but suppose you feel uncomfortable or ill at ease around those people? You know, the people who give off “bad vibes.” You feel bad in their presence. What to do? I don’t hang around them! I’ll call up someone whose positive energy makes me feel good and go to a movie or have coffee with that person. My vibrational energy always jumps several octaves higher after taking that step. In fact, I feel a great sense of gratitude when in the company of a good friend who treats me with love and respect.

9. Are you the type who won’t buy a nice bottle of cologne/perfume? If you’ve hit a low snag for some reason, why not give yourself a nice treat, go to the mall and buy yourself your favorite fragrance? Almost every Sunday during church services, someone tells me “You smell good.” They’re saying that because I usually smack a couple dabs of “Tuscany” (by Aramis) on my neck. Looking in the bathroom cabinet the other day revealed I was running on low so what did I do today? I went to the mall and bought a new bottle. Did that make me feel good? Yep!

10. When I’m down for any reason, I’ll jump in the car and drive myself to the park and go for a long walk. I find that when I commune with nature, I come back recharged. I have more energy and I feel better.

In order for the Law of Attraction to work, it’s vitally important to feel good. It’s up to you and me to bring the “feel good factor” up a couple notches. No one else can do it for us.

When you feel good, you raise your level of vibration and you attract the right people, situations and opportunities to you. People can’t help but want to be in your presence because you feel good about yourself. When you speak, they listen to you. When you walk into a room, you don’t have to do anything to get anyone’s attention. Your “feel good energy” has already done that work for you.

So why not look for ways to feel good and attract more of the same? You deserve it.

Food for thought: What things make you feel good? Are you doing enough of it? Can you think of at least 5 things that make you feel bad and replace them with “feel good activities”?

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My friend and fellow blogger Phil Gerbyshak wrote a great article outlining his passions, causing me to revisit the timeless topic. I encourage you to check it out here and see if this helps you think a little more deeply about the things you are passionate about.

Previous articles/stories on the subject of having a passion can be seen at the following:

a. How Having a Passion Can Save Your Life
b. Motivation – Where Does it Come From?
c. Trust in Being Brave – The Merrill Lynch Story
d. Trust that Your Passions Will be Supported by the Universe
e. Passion at Southwest Airlines
f. Entertain the Possibilities – Swimming Championships

Food for thought: What is your passion?

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That is, until I am inspired or find myself in that creative zone where the words flow from my mind to the keyboard easily and effortlessly. This causes me not to write for days or sometimes weeks, even months until BOOM, I’m hit with something I feel is worth your time. (Photo:  WakaMoul)

Today I found it. I stumbled onto a YouTube video that blew me away this morning and I think it will do the same for you. It might even cause you to experience goose bumps!

While I cannot hear music or the voices behind them, I could tell how this man caused Simon Cowell, one of the judges, to cock his head curiously and bring another judge to tears (no, it wasn’t Paula from American Idol but someone else from Great Britain in another TV show).

Watch their reactions when the man told them what he was going to sing. You could tell by their icy stares that they were extremely skeptical of his ability to carry it out, probably because of his appearance. Somewhat overweight with a chipped tooth and an unsmiling face, this man did not look like a star – not by a long shot. But to his credit, he did not let their looks of disapproval disintegrate his composure. In fact, he took his time, much to everyone’s chagrin!

After Simon told him to “take it away when you are ready,” there was an uncomfortably long period of silence. It was palpable – you could feel it – absolutely no one knew what to make of this man. During those few precious seconds of silence, you could literally “see” the oppressive sense of pressure building up all around him.

But the moment he opened his mouth, it was all over. The reaction was swift. In a matter of seconds, the energy switched from itchy, uncomfortable silence to incredible excitement. It was like pure magic.

Watching the video gave me chills and reminded me of what I experience from time to time when I am called to give a motivational speech. For those of you who know my background, I experienced an epiphany on the beach in Florida during one of my mini-vacations while working on Wall Street (“The Moment of My Spiritual Revelation on the Beach“). It was at that moment when I realized that my gift to the world was not buying and selling stocks but using my ability to speak clearly and articulately despite being born deaf. When I am on stage, something profound takes place, just like what happened to this man you’re about to watch. Like him, I become “one with the audience” and manage to convert even the harshest of skeptics into new fans, clients or even lifelong friends.

Like what happens in the video, I have seen people in the audience sit there with a smirk on their faces and folded arms. It’s if they are saying, “Hey big shot, just who do you think you are? What do you have to say that would make my life better than it is already?” Despite the hurdle in overcoming these silent challenges, there is nothing more exhilarating than watching the face of these people undergo a gorgeous, divine transformation with a hearty laugh, smile or a tear because of something you just said. It’s not about the standing ovations – it’s about transforming lives. Isn’t that what we’re all here to do in the first place?

Okay, here it is:

Wasn’t that incredible or what? This leads me to ask you: What is Your Gift to the World?

Think about it…… You were created for a divine purpose. You came here to carry out a specific mission. What is it?

You say you don’t know? Don’t despair. You really do know. The answer is inside you. All you have to do is ask your inner spirit.

Here’s how you can coax it out of yourself. Ask yourself what areas you are really good in? Never mind the money-making potential. What have you done in the past that made time fly by so fast that you didn’t realize what time it was when you were finished? Can you remember a time when you were a child when hours and hours went by without you noticing?

You might want to review an article I wrote several months ago: “Trust that Your Passions will be Supported by the Universe.” Here’s another one: “Timing is Everything.”

Imagine…someone like this guy who didn’t fit the Hollywood stereotype of a “star” only to come on stage and blow everyone away. My God, isn’t that the stuff that movies are made out of? Yet it actually happened – you saw it with your own eyes. If this guy can do the impossible, why not you? As you saw, you don’t need to look like a top model, have a Ph.D, be a CEO or a celebrity to make a difference.

Dreams do come true!

Food for thought: What is your God given talent for the rest of the world? Your talents are very much needed!

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1. Ryan and I were interviewed on the local news, which can be seen here (go to the bottom of the article and click on the video link – note that this link will be invalid within a week).

2. The fundraising was an enormous success – it went far beyond our wildest expectations for we raised $7,700 for this event, thanks to heartfelt supporters from around the country!

3. For those of you who missed previous posts about “Flight to Hartford,” you can see them here:

a. “Paying it Forward – ‘Flight to Hartford’”
b. “Flight to Hartford” on YouTube!”
c. “Actual Flight Footage for ‘Flight to Hartford’”

4. The “Flight to Hartford” takes place next week (week of June 17th). We are aiming for a departure of either Monday or Tuesday, weather depending. Upon our return, I will give yet another update, probably with a YouTube video of the flight itself (shortened from 8 hours worth of flying down to, I don’t know, maybe 5 minutes!).

Note: I will not be blogging for about two weeks, beginning June 17th.

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One of the participants is a single mom who is a screenwriter with a project now being considered by an A-list actress (Nicole Kidman) for a major motion picture. Imagine that! She wrote a wonderful story about overcoming adversity on the long road to success. Reading it lifted my spirits and confirmed that we are all in on this together. Of course, she will be among 500 people listed on a future post here at Adversity University and you will have an opportunity to be uplifted by her story too.

The title of today’s article magically came to me last night while watching “Pay it Forward.” Have you seen that movie? I highly recommend it – it moved me to tears because it was so heartfelt. It made me want to run out and “pay it forward.” So I came up with an idea for today’s article.

About a month ago, “It’s OKAY to Celebrate Your Defeats!” was written in response to a major literary agent passing on my book proposal for THAT’S RIGHT, STEPHEN! A follow up article entitled “Inside the Mind of a Literary Agent” proved to be quite cathartic and hopefully inspired you because it surely put things in perspective for me.

Shortly after those two articles were written, I was faced with a decision – should I self-publish or continue the “traditional way”?

One of the most powerful techniques of overcoming what other people perceive to be impossible is to make a firm decision, regardless of what it is, and then sticking with it. That’s how I became a successful Merrill Lynch stockbroker, a deaf pilot who made aviation history, among other things.

My good friend Stephen Shapiro wrote a brief but fascinating rundown called “Sobering Statistics About the Book Industry.” Despite the overwhelming odds of getting published, I’ve decided to go the traditional way. Here’s my thinking on this: “If I can become the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot despite the FAA regulations to the contrary, why can’t I defy the odds again?”

Engineering the impossible requires at least four things:

1. Belief in yourself

2. Finding someone (just one, only one) who also believes in you. All that needs to happen is that you will be divinely led to this person who is in a position to open doors for you (like that lady who helped me with the book proposal – even though I didn’t get literary representation with her agent in the end, she did get my foot in the door of a powerful literary agency in NYC – if she believes in me, imagine who else might!).

3. Perseverance

4. Create the mindset that your time will come, just have faith in God’s plan for you.

Once I made the decision to find myself a literary agent, I went out and got six books from the local library on how to write a better book proposal. Day by day I read, take notes and then go back to the computer to tweak things a little more. Taking action like that is a signal to the universe that I am serious about my intentions. This goes along with the H.E.A.R. Principle where “A” stands for “Take Action.” ACTION speaks louder than words.

I am sharing this with you not because I want to portray myself as a mythic figure of gothic proportions who overcomes great odds but to hold myself accountable to you, my readers, and to the rest of the universe of my intentions. In essence, I’ve personally invited you along for the trip. By having you by my side in spirit, I know I have your love and support, which makes this journey all the more worthwhile. By the way, you already have an idea of what the book will be like because it’s all in here, in this blog! In fact, I will be creating an e-book in the near future so that you can read it, for free, in an easy and accessible location.

My desire is to create a point of reference where I can bring future readers back to this post to show that I was at one time a person who had the dream of getting published. If you can learn to ignore so-called statistics or man-made rules, then you’ve got your work cut out for you. All that is required is a firm decision from the deepest part of your being and then moving forward from there. Henry Ford once said:

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

Food for thought: Have you made a firm decision to commit yourself to a certain course of action today?

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But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized it could be traced back to my parents but not in the way you might think.

Before I go any further, I want you to know that my Dad is a faithful reader and subscriber of this blog. He is quite comfortable with the context of the story I am about to share with you because he tells complete strangers about it every chance he gets. Dad knows how he played a powerful hand in shaping me to become the person I am today, even though his methods might have been the opposite of what you would expect, given the success I currently enjoy.

When I became old enough to get a job during the mid-seventies, I wanted to work at the Sipperly Brothers gas station, a stone’s throw from my house. One day, I excitedly told Dad of my intentions.

“Steve, they aren’t going to hire you. You’re deaf, remember?” He was trying to protect me from the rejection that would surely come at the heels of my job application.

Somehow I had the courage and went for it anyway, completely ignoring his advice. To everyone’s surprise (including my own), I ended up getting hired on the spot. I couldn’t wait to tell Dad the good news. Every night he would ask me how it was going to which I would reply, “GREAT!”

Unfortunately my stint in the world of work was rather short-lived. On more than one occasion, the owner’s son and I were caught behind the gas station drinking coke, playing a game of marbles or otherwise bantering around without a care in the world. Thinking I was bad influence around his son, Mr. Sipperly ended up firing me, Donald Trump style.

Embarrassed over what happened, I pretended that I was going to work for one whole week after that. I didn’t want to give my father ammunition to say, I told you so!

So how did I pull it off?

Would you believe I hid in the woods until it was time to go home for supper?

Mom and Dad never had a clue but I knew I couldn’t keep up this charade much longer. It was only a matter of time before I would get caught. It was time to come clean.

My chance arrived one night at the supper table but it came sooner than I wanted.

“Hey, Steve, how’s your job going at Sipperly’s?” said Dad. He was smiling.

Caught off guard, I stopped chewing my food and stared at him. A single thread of spaghetti hung rather unattractively over my lower lip.

Snapping back to reality, I quickly slurped the macaroni between my two front teeth, gingerly set the fork down and subconsciously began rubbing my hands across the top of my summer shorts.

“Mom and Dad……”

Taking a deep breath, I continued, “Um, I got fired.”

“Why, when, how?!?” They were tripping over each other like those actors on “MAD, MAD TV.”

“A-a-a-a couple weeks ago. Uh, Kenny (the boss’s son) and I were caught goofing off a couple of times. Yeah.”

Bracing myself for the inevitable reprimand, I sat rigidly in my chair and waited for the explosion.

It never came.

Like a cool cat, Dad said, “And where were you all this time when you were supposedly at work?”

“In the woods,” I replied sheepishly.

Mom and Dad exchanged amused looks, trying to suppress a laugh. They were thinking, “Aww, how cute!”

My father turned to me and said with a straight face, “Okay, after supper, I want you to go to your room and think about what just happened and don’t come out until you’ve thought about it all the way through.”

Hurriedly mopping off the last of remnants of supper with Mom’s homemade bread, I made a beeline straight to my bedroom where I stayed the rest of the night.

A couple of weeks later, I decided to give myself another shot at getting a job someplace else. This time it was a busy pizza parlor at the local shopping mall.

Of course, I told Dad of my intentions, hoping to get his approval. Once again, he tried to discourage me but I could tell he seemed a little less resistant than before.

That was all I needed.

Encouraged and defiant, I went to the pizza parlor and got myself hired. It didn’t matter that I was there to clean up instead of actually making the pizza. You never saw a more proud pimply teenage boy with shiny braces!

This ended up becoming a pattern throughout the rest of my teenage years. I went on to work at other fast food places, got myself a lawn mowing job at an elderly lady’s house and worked for my aunt up at her place of business.

Over time, I gradually chipped away Dad’s maternal need to “protect me.” He was learning too. He saw that once I set my mind on achieving something, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. I was going for it, come high hell or water. This would later prepare me for years on Wall Street.

His reluctance to encourage me actually ended up being one of his greatest gifts. Think about this for a second. While we all need emotional support for the things we want to achieve in life, from a cosmic point of view, we also need people who try and stop us because they are the ones who help us build our character, give us more courage and strengthen our risk-taking muscles.

Bottom line? Dad’s mission was to play the tough guy. By carrying it out flawlessly, he unwittingly helped me become an award-winning Wall Street stockbroker, motivational speaker, author and the first deaf pilot in the world to get an instrument rating. So, hats off to you Dad!

By the way, nowadays when I tell him about my future dreams including but not limited to being the first deaf pilot to fly a small jet, appear as a guest on Oprah, write a best-seller, speak all over the world, he now knows that it is a near certainty, given my track record!

Now, let’s talk about my mother for a moment. Her role was similar yet different. I’ll never forget how she handled herself one sunny morning during the school week. I was in third grade at the time.

Among the usual cluster of neighborhood kids waiting for the school bus was Patty, a tough little tyke with a rather sordid reputation. Twice my size, she walked around with a “don’t mess with me” kind of attitude.

For some reason, I was made a target on that particular morning. She teased me relentlessly and tried to provoke me. Rather than fighting back, I ran back down the steep hill to my house, wailing at the top of my lungs. It was my first brush with a school bully who happened to be a girl.

Good God, what in the world……!

Arriving at the front door, I pounded against it with all my might, calling for my mother.

Seconds later she appeared from behind the screen door, wearing an apron and yellow gloves. She must have been baking a pie or something.

Concern was etched across her pretty movie star face, betraying her normal sense of calm. Perhaps her little boy had just gotten hit by a car or something.

Blubbering incoherently, I cried, “Patty’s picking on me.”

As soon as those words tumbled out of my mouth, I somehow knew the front door was not opening up anytime soon. Her eyes quickly changed from wide to narrow slits. Slowly folding her arms across her bosom, she said in the sternest voice she could muster, “Stephen, you get your ass back up there and go to school, RIGHT NOW!”

I had expected her to step outside, put her arms around me and sympathetically ask what in the world Patty was doing to her precious little boy.

“NOOOO,” I pleaded with her. “Come with me and tell Patty to leave me alone!!”

My mother would have none of it. She stood there defiantly, with an outstretched arm like Hilter, pointing to the school bus stop up the hill.

I later learned that it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. She desperately wanted kneel down and slobber kisses all over her little boy’s face and march right up the hill to teach that young lady a lesson or two. But she knew better.

Realizing she meant business, I turned around and marched angrily back to the bus stop, muttering a string of ugly expletives.

Of course, I was too young to understand what she was trying to do. In fact, I thought she was the meanest mother on the planet that day. But you and I know differently – her gift to me was that she planted a powerful seed of independence. You were right on the mark that day, Mom! Hats off to you too!

So, there you have it. My motivation originally came from a wonderful Mom and Dad long before Mrs. Jordan, my fifth grade teacher, made a divine appearance on the stage of my life with three most famous words, “That’s right, Stephen!”

Food for thought: Where do you think you get your motivation from? Whether you believe it or not, you have it in there somewhere. Go and tell!

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It’s about what goes on inside the mind of literary agents like herself who are faced with piles of query letters and book proposals from prospective authors seeking representation every week. It’s quite interesting. The source was taken right from her blog.

Take a look:

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Every now and then I drop by writer message boards to see what’s on writers’ minds. A few seem very befuddled that they aren’t getting any requests for their book and feel somehow… slighted… by agents. They feel frustrated and even a little indignant. Who are we to reject their masterpiece?? Well… who are we to request everything? Here’s another way to look at it: You have one trip to make to the bookstore. You get to spend a whole day there reading. You can choose a few books to read. Go ahead, pick your very favorites.

What??

You didn’t pick a novel by Ann Patchett? Why not?? Hey! You dare to snub Don DeLillo? Why on earth? Don’t you think he’s a good writer? How could you turn down books by those writers??

The answer is–you had limited time and limited amounts of books you were able to select. You’ve got nothing against most of those other published authors who have books on the shelves, you just can’t read them all. Not all at once. Maybe later a book by those authors will catch your eye, maybe not.

I get hundreds of query letters a week. (Stop here and picture hundreds of books sitting in front of you and you are allowed to pick just a few.) So I read through the queries to see which ones sound like my favorites out of all the rest. No, it’s not a contest. I’m not saying those that I choose are definitively better than the others, they’re just subject matter that most appeals to me right then that week. Maybe I’m looking for something really funny, maybe I’m looking for something dark and moody. Maybe I’m looking to build my YA list right then or maybe I want more urban fantasy. Sometimes it depends on which editors tell me what they’re especially looking for right now.

So is it all just a crap shoot? one writer asked. No, because I still sort my queries down to a very small pile to choose from. That means I turn down a lot simply because they’re not ready for representation even if I like the idea, or even if I think the writing is pretty good but the idea’s weak. Then I weed out those that just aren’t my thing. Out of that much smaller pile I have to select just a handful. And let me tell you, sometimes it’s HARD.

But if you are sending out multiple queries and your writing IS ready… you’re going to make the short list for a lot of different agents. You might get form rejections from a few. (Don’t try to ponder why, just cross their names off the list.) You might get a few little personal notes, but rejections all the same. But you just might get a few requests too.

Don’t spend too much time pondering why some agents passed. Imagine your query letter in a stack of many others and someone browsing through them the same way you browse through a bookstore. Realize for every rejection you receive it just wasn’t a click that day for that agent. But as you send out your queries, imagine if even just one of them really connects and an agent suddenly sits up straighter and thinks, “Oh! I’ve GOTTA request this one!” Some readers will never read your favorite author either. But many will.

It’s the same for an agent as we submit to editors. How do I deal with rejection? Well, I can guarantee that if I send a book out widely, not every single one of the editors is going to fall in love with it. But I can increase my chances by only representing great books and by spending extra time with the author to polish it. Then I can narrow the submission list down to the most likely editors.

After that… well, here’s a likely scenario: Some editors will be so busy they won’t read it right away–for some reason they’re swamped with edits or other work and just can’t get to it as fast as they/I’d like. A few will read it right away, and a couple of them will love it. One or two might reject it after reading one chapter. Another might reject it after reading the whole thing and just not falling in love. And that’s okay. I don’t need all of them to love it — at the end of the day, only one editor’s offer can be accepted anyway. Same with you as you search for an agent. You only need one yes.

So don’t let any rejection daunt you. Query widely and keep writing and polishing.

——————————————–Food for thought: Well, what do you think of that? She’s right – don’t let any rejection daunt you – just keep writing, polishing and looking for a way to get your book published.

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Isn’t it interesting how sometimes everything is flowing easily and effortlessly where you feel nothing could go wrong and then BAM! WHAM! you are hit with a most unexpected jolt, literally turning your world upside down?

Remember the miraculous encounter I had with a local woman (Katina) who was in the audience at one of my speaking engagements earlier this year? She unexpectedly volunteered to help me whip my book proposal in shape for her literary agent’s review and consideration. Her thinking throughout my presentation that night was: Hey, Stephen where’s your book?

Click here to read more about that fateful evening.

It had to be “divine timing” because it was providing me with an exceptional opportunity to realize the dream of publishing my first book through a well-established literary agent. Over time, Katina held a few phone conversations with him and I was told that he was very excited about the forthcoming book proposal.

Definitely a good sign, I thought. At one point, Katina even suggested that her agent was going to thank her for “discovering me.”

Before we go any further, let us step back in time for a moment here.

Seven years ago (Year 2000), after countless rejections, I landed a reputable literary agent named Joe who once represented Mother Teresa. After months of working on the book proposal, he went shopping among the nation’s top publishers only to be turned down due to “crowded book market conditions.” When Joe and I went our separate ways, I remember thinking it was okay to move on because I knew the universe would provide me with another window of opportunity later.

Everything you experience, pleasant or not, is preparing you for the future. In August 2006, I wrote a three-part series on “Trust that Bigger Things are in Store for You” (Part I, Part II and Part III). Even my unpleasant encounter with the elementary school bully and “Harry the Bank Boss” were divine acts on the stage of life to become the person I am today.

When I met Katina at the speaking engagement, I recognized a new “window of opportunity” had just emerged. I marveled at the timing. After all, she was connected to one of the most powerful literary agencies. Many of their authors have seen their books turned into major motion pictures. What could be better than having someone like Katina from a tiny, sleepy little town of Akron, Ohio help me get my foot in the door?

This was finally going to be my year to publish! With great excitement, she and I revamped the original book proposal and created a short promotional video clip with the help of Ron Hoff (you can see the DVD clip here).

The book proposal/DVD package was finally FEDEX’d to Katina’s agent in New York City last week. We tried to carry on with our lives, giving our best shot in “letting go and letting God.”

But alas, it was not to be.

An email arrived yesterday from one of the junior agents whose message was courteous yet clearly in the format of a rejection letter:

“Unfortunately, the intense competition in the current market forces us to be extremely selective and we believe that you would be better served by another agency. You should not take this as a reflection of your work, etc.”

BOOM, BAM, WHAM!

Shaking my head vigorously as if I was imagining things, I had to re-read it just to make sure.

When it became crystal clear what I was looking at, my stomach did a super flip flop and I felt a rare blanket of heaviness descend around me. It did not feel good at all.

Now what’s the point of “Adversity University” if I can’t be honest and share the good and the bad? Obstacles and other forms of adversity are going to pop up from time to time whether we like it or not. Like my business statement says, “adversity does not discriminate – no one is immune from it.” No one.

W. Mitchell, a fellow motivational speaker says, “It’s not what happens to you…it’s what you do about it.”

The junior agent’s standard rejection letter wasn’t the first time I received one. So what’s one more?

How did I handle it? First, I let myself sulk for a few minutes. Okay, it was a few hours!

Then I asked myself several questions:

Did this change anything about what I have now? (No)
Are you still alive and well? (Ahem, yes, I am!)
Do you still have your health? (Yes)
Are you homeless? (No)
Does this mean your writing sucks? (My goodness, it better not!!)
Is it the end of the world for you? (Don’t be silly!!)
Do you have food in the refrigerator and a roof over your head? (Yes)
Do you have family and friends who love you for who you are? (Where would I be without them?)
Are you still in demand as a motivational speaker around the country? (Yes)

On a drum roll, I pulled up my gratitude list on the computer and reminded myself why I should be grateful.

Then I found previous blog entries like “Gratitude Reminders” and “The Power of Thanking People with Handwritten Notes,” lifting me up even more.

In the end, I simply shrugged my shoulders, sent a very nice thank you email back to the junior agent, packed my gym bag and went for a vigorous workout.

Then I bought myself a cigar to celebrate!

Celebrate what?

Okay, here’s the deal. Despite the so-called “bad news,” I still believe everything happens for a divine reason.

Of course, I have no idea why everything happened the way it did. On the surface, it makes absolutely no sense that the universe would give me the opportunity to create the foundation for my first book proposal 7 years ago with the help of an agent who, despite his very best efforts, was not able to get me a publishing deal. And then I am presented with a chance encounter with Katina, who we all know by now is represented by one of the most powerful literary agents, only to have her agent say “Not for us, sorry.”

Huh? What’s the deal?

Isn’t this why they say God acts in mysterious ways? Like my friend Joni says, “more will be revealed.”

Perhaps a way is being paved to another path that I’m not yet aware of. Maybe an unforeseen opportunity even bigger than Katina’s literary agency will come along. Or I’m being given an opportunity to consider other ways of publishing that I hadn’t given serious thought before.

Like…………self publishing.

Hmm…let me put it this way. All I’ve ever wanted was to have a traditional publisher do all the publishing-related work, pay me a nice little advance and then presto, I have a “legitimate” book. What perspective author doesn’t want that?

On the same day I received the rejection notice, I heard from a good friend that I hadn’t heard from in quite some time. She had no idea what just happened and innocently included in her email how she was saving money to self-publish a book so that audiences at her speaking engagements could take a piece of her message home with them after hearing her speak.

Was that supposed to be a “light bulb” message for me?

The bottom line is that I am faced with two choices:

1. Continue to slog my way through names of hundreds of literary agents and publishers in the hope of finding a creditable agent/publisher someday.

OR

2. Take action now, pay out of pocket to self-publish and have faith that it will all work out.

Tomorrow I will post a blog entry from a literary agent’s point of view on why agents pass on representing someone – it’s quite interesting and I promise for those of you who are aspiring authors, you’ll understand the elimination process, just like I did.

By the way, are you wondering what my book is about? The working title is That’s Right, Stephen! and it’s a collection of stories that you have already read in this blog!

That’s right, I’m simply taking the best stories from here and turning it into a book. If you wade through past posts in “Adversity University,” you’ll get a glimpse of what kind of stories will appear in That’s Right, Stephen!

Come to think of it, I’m contemplating the idea of creating a free downloadable e-book and putting it up on my website. Seth Godin, a famous internet marketing guru, did just that and then went on to publish a wildly successful book that was at one time a free downloadable e-book from his website!

It’s called viral marketing where people have a chance to see what you have to offer and tell others about it before they decide to pick up a hard copy for themselves. The idea is if people like your book online, they’ll want to own a copy that they can touch, feel and even highlight certain sections for future reference. Pretty cool way to get your work out there huh?

Stay tuned…….

Food for thought: We are all on a mysterious journey. Along the way, we are given obstacles for a divine reason. How we choose to respond to those obstacles is entirely up to each of us. The key is to stay faithful to your dreams and eventually you will get there.

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