How we perceive ourselves and the world we live in is largely a function of our upbringing, the environment in which we previously and currently reside in, the kind of people we associate with and our core beliefs, to name a few.

A common theme running throughout my teachings here and elsewhere is the power of our perceptions. If not cared for, the prejudices of our mind has the potential of distorting and hindering what we really see.

Two years ago, I wrote a post about 6 Ways a Change of Perception Can Bless You with Peace and Inner Knowing. I’d like to revisit this topic again because I believe it really can change your life and take you places you’ve never dreamed of going.

How we handle tough situations depends on how we view the various elements in play. For instance, if you were treated shabbily by someone for any reason, what’s usually the first thought that occupies your mind’s real estate? Revenge? Anger? Or would you see that person as teaching you a lesson of sorts?

With all the bad news touted by the media, do you believe you’re doomed to a life of misery? Or do you believe you can rise above it?

What about 9/11? Was that a good or bad event?

I love tackling this subject because I’ve found that all it takes is a slight adjustment of our attitude to cause us to see the bigger picture. When that happens, not only do you find that you are truly in command of your thoughts but that there’s usually a lesson hidden in there somewhere.

Say someone bullied you as a youngster or even now – perhaps an arrogant boss. Maybe you suffered abuse at the hand of an authority figure. Do you believe those things happened for a higher purpose? Or do you believe you’re were/are a victim?

When 9/11 happened, I was horrified along with the rest of America. But when I looked at the event closely, I realized there was silver lining behind it. What happened brought everyone together – we were united as one nation. Even if we didn’t know anyone who was killed or injured, we were in some way touched by it. That led to a massive wave of compassion rarely before seen in society as a whole. (Photo: happyarm)

Unfortunately, this sense of unity was short-lived and because of that, the drama continues to play out in other ways until the lesson is finally learned.

Let me change tactics for a moment. How do you view a homeless person? With disgust? Contempt?

If I told you a homeless person was placed on your path to teach you a lesson in humility and gratitude, would you think I was crazy? Or would you think there might be something there? (Photo: Franco Folini)

Imagine if you viewed a homeless person in a different way. Perhaps with love and compassion. Have you ever considered the possibility that a homeless person could very well have a divine mission to show you just how fortunate you really are? Think about it.

The moment I realized being born deaf had a divine purpose behind it, my entire life shifted in a split second. No longer did I feel sorry for myself. All of a sudden, I had a mission worth pursuing. Ironically, I was given this gift of communication to demonstrate that it is indeed possible to achieve the impossible. I realize I’m just one person. What about other deaf people you encounter? What is your reaction when you meet a person who can’t hear? Do you shy away, thinking you have nothing in common with that person? Or does it make you realize just how lucky you are to have normal hearing?

Do you see what I’m getting at? I’m in no way advocating a life of “Pollyanna” where everything is just wonderful. It has to do with a way of thinking. I am inviting you to consider the possibility of raising your level of awareness and making the shift between a life of unconscious to conscious living.

Ken, a subscriber to this blog, left a couple of very good questions at the “Lies We Tell Ourselves” post; one of which was “When is it okay to lie?” The answer all depends on your perception.

According to the law of attraction, you attract in your life dominant thoughts. If you think the world is out to get you, that’s exactly what you will experience. Henry Ford once said, (paraphrasing here) “if you think so, you are right. If you don’t think so, you are also right.” In other words, if you believe the world is conspiring to bless you, you are right. If not, then you’re right on that count also!

I had a conversation with a friend recently who was complaining about the high cost of gas these days and how oil companies were ripping everyone off. (Photo credit: Mike Jones Photo)

This friend went ranted and raved about how all the rich people were always looking for ways to take your money. Isn’t it any wonder that not long afterwards, an experience came into her life where a certain insurance company significantly raised her auto insurance rates? What if this person steadfastly held a world view that, by and large, “rich people” are inherently good? Would her car rates have jumped? Maybe so. Maybe not. (update:  She has since taken action and canceled her insurance policy and switched to another firm.  Kudos to her for taking action).

Food for thought: What do you think? Name one situation in your life that could have gone south but didn’t because you had a different way of perceiving the situation.

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It isn’t easy taking risks, especially if the outcome could go either way. If you’re a public speaker, a business owner or occupy a position in which you are judged by the public, every decision you make will have some kind of impact on your success.  (Photo:  redfriday)

There’s much talk about the importance of carefully nurturing a public persona, creating an air of professionalism if you will. But at what cost? Do people hire you because you appear polished with perfect videos, perfectly created websites, perfect blogs?  Or do they hire you because of your authenticity?  Or both?

I am bringing up this topic because a dear friend of mine told me last week that if she didn’t know me and had been introduced to me via the contest video from last week, she would not have been at all impressed, especially with the kind of speaking fees I command.

To say at the least, it was shocking to hear this, coming from a long time supporter and friend.

She was speaking under the condition of a close friend, “Your subscribers love you and they aren’t going to tell you the truth.”

“But I will,” she said.

“What made you say that?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“When the contest video started, you were reading from something, not looking at the camera. That’s where you missed the opportunity to connect with the viewer. And then at the end, we saw an unflattering picture of your neck when you attempted to turn off the camera. Compared to the speaking demo tape (which was highly professional and polished), it was an amateur job and if I were a meeting planner and who saw that video before I got to know you (either through the demo tape or places like my speaking website), I would not have hired you.  If I were you, I’d take that video down immediately.”

Thrown for a complete loop, I sat in silence, thinking hard.  

Did I take an unnecessary risk by posting the contest video on YouTube (which has garnered well over 3,000 views and a stream of nothing but positive comments)? 

Or did I take a leap of faith and went for it, even though I did not yet know how to edit the video? (I still don’t).

It’s all a matter of perception. One person may see this as a foolish mistake, risking a loss of potential clients. Another might gloss over the imperfections and concentrate on the message instead.

Like the book publishing business, videos, podcasts and other forms of media are judged by an entirely subjective group of people. One publisher might think someone’s book has the making of a runaway bestseller while another might look at the exact same material and toss it in the garbage.  That’s what happened to JK Rowling, the world’s first billionaire author of the mega-successful Harry Potter series.   

A long-time subscriber who saw the contest video put it this way:

You have created a video that people LOVE and you have done that having only created two of them in your life. Perhaps I am biased because who you are and what you say and how you say it drums louder for me than the video protocol of which your friends speaks. I didn’t notice that because that wasn’t what I was looking for. Others who are tech savvy, etc. may agree with her and her feedback may have some substance. [But] you telling that story in the way that you did was incredible for a 2 minute time slot.

The purpose of this article is not to slam my friend nor defend my actions using comments from subscribers like the one above. I’m completely neutral on the subject matter. 

To be fair, I can see her point.  I do not envision very famous speakers putting out a video that ends with an unflattering shot of their necks.  All of their work is top-notch, professionally done. 

On the other hand, if I had let my inexperience with video editing stop me, I would never have given myself a chance to compete in that contest.  At this stage, while I haven’t won the most number of views (a couple of others garnered much more than I did), I am still in the running as the judges have not yet tallied up their votes.  I’m told we’ll find out very soon. 

Based on past experience, if you’re afraid of taking a risk because you think others will judge you in a manner that you might not like, then you’ll miss out on an opportunity to touch and reach the right people.  

Some people might or might not agree with my friend who called the video amateurish.  I know she was speaking from the heart and meant it with love.  I told her so.  But on the flip side, not everyone will subscribe to what the above-mentioned subscriber said either.   

So who’s right?

Contrary what you might think, I’m not trying to win over anyone to anything.  But I’m quickly finding out, especially at this stage of my career, the more I advance toward my dreams and take risks, the more I will encounter differing opinions about whatever I’m doing.  And it’s not the first time it happened either. 

A few years ago when I told a veteran flight instructor that my dream was to become the first instrument rated deaf pilot, he laughed at my face and eagerly (too eagerly I thought) showed me the FAA rule book to prove his point.  Was he acting in my best interests? 

That’s the price you pay for putting yourself out there.  Having said that, the question I have in my mind is will this contest video, in the long run, turn off potential clients?  Should this video be taken down once the contest is over and replaced with a more polished cut? 

Or should this video be left to its own devices, in the hope and belief that the universe will attract the right kind of people who are trained to look past imperfections and see a diamond in the rough? 

My situation is not at all unique.  We all face these kinds of questions at some point during our lives, especially when we shoot for the stars and possibly stumble along the way.  There’s always the potential of looking like a complete fool.  But one won’t find that out until the leap has been taken. 

In my book, there are no mistakes.  Only experiences.  There are no right or wrong answers.  

The floor is yours in the comment section. Please feel free to offer your take on this.  Let’s make this a fun, value-added and respectful conversation!   

Food for Thought: What’s your take on this? How far should you go in taking risks? What constitutes a foolish risk versus a daring risk that could pay off in spades?

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If you are viewing this article via email subscription or RSS, please click on the title of this article to be led back to the blog so you can see the video:

Next time you think you have problems, remain calm and be thankful you’re not as crazy as you think you might be!

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Brad Baggett of Juice of Champions recently tagged me in a new meme about thinking differently that was started by Peter at I Will Change Your Life. 

It took me a while to get around to it because I wanted to make sure that if I got involved, I’d be bringing value to the readers of Adversity University.  Memes are a great way to build community and link love both of which are perfectly wonderful and valid reasons to start one.  However, there are some out there that I perceive as nothing more than empty vehicles focused solely on bringing the originator a lot of link love in the hopes of building traffic and more subscribers for their sites. 

Don’t get me wrong.  Memes are a great way of fostering interaction among readers and new visitors.  I even attempted a hand at it with “Secrets of Dealing with Adversity” several months ago.  It was a modest success and I’m even thinking of bringing it back now that the community at Adversity University has grown larger. 

But I still have to ask the question: “Does it provide value?”

With the “Think Different Challenge,” the answer is a resounding YES.  I believe it fits in perfectly at Adversity University.  If each and every one of us took just a minute to change our way of thinking, the world would be in a much higher state of vibration.  There would be less hate and prejudice, not to mention drama, stress and greed.         

According to Peter, we are free to write whatever comes to mind as long as it has something to do with thinking differently.  We are also left with the freedom of either tagging specific people to participate or making a blank statement of invitation to those who wish to join us.  I choose the latter.  For more information, check out Peter’s Think Different Challenge.

If this meme is of interest to you and you have a blog, then by all means please consider yourself tagged by me at Adversity University!   

Without further ado, here are 3 ways of thinking differently:  

Be Open to New Experiences:  Don’t be stuck in a routine – do something absolutely outrageous once in a while.  Many years ago while living in New York City, I decided to do something crazy one Saturday morning.  I was out for a stroll with a friend.  Weekend traffic had slowed to a trickle.  We were in the middle of crossing Fifth Avenue when I suddenly looked both ways, dropped down and proceeded to make an imaginary snowman on the asphalt, screaming, ”THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING!”  Har, har, har, was that quite liberating!

Perceive every single person as having a divine mission:  You cannot tell why others are here on this planet but they, including yourself, are destined to carry out a special role.  Next time you see a person with a disability, (perhaps someone like Nick Vujici who has no arms and no legs), instead of feeling sorry for him, why don’t you see him as an instrument of God, teaching all of us lessons about perserverance, overcoming adversity and the awesome power of the mind?  A homeless person?  My goodness, instead of spitting in disgust at the smell or sight of one, why not see him as an angel in disguise, reminding you to get out of the “God, my life is awful!!” club?  

Want to be more centered, calm?  Imagine yourself as the center of a record.  The grooves encircling you represents life’s major challenges but there you are, in a calm state of mind, totally unaffected by everything swirling around you. 

Two weeks ago I was volunteering my time on a church community project.  A ton of unopened boxes were strewn everywhere.  Adding to the mix were a couple of volunteers rushing around like mad, loudly barking out ideas for all to hear, telling others what to do and unraveling hours of hard work previously done by others.  Needless to say, this brought on a lot of unnecessary tension.  In the past, I would have gotten caught up in the drama.  But at one point while unpacking a box, I took a deep breath, shut my eyes and visualized being in the center of that record.  In my mind’s eye, I was enclosed in a protective bubble to ward off negative energy.  Then I took it one step further and imagined those volunteers as children of God who were simply all excited and meant well. 

The result? 

I got through the entire evening in a state of unruffled grace!   It was exhilarating – you should try it.  (Photo Credit:  Bear Clause)

Food for thought:  What are the ways you can think differently today?

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Please take a few moments of your time and watch as he goes about his daily activities.  It will truly put things in perspective for you.  It certainly did for me!

If you want to learn more about him, check out his website and see for yourself what this young man is aspiring to do. He dreams of not only becoming financially independent, appearing on Oprah but also wants to spread God’s message to people around the globe!

Won’t you join me in wishing Nick the best?

Meanwhile, I came across a terrific article, “What Dogs Can Teach Us About Handling Disability.”

Food for Thought: Life is a matter of perception – it’s what you make of it that determines the outcome of your life. Simple but powerful!

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I chose to share it with you because it reminds me so much of what my fifth grade teacher did for me so many years ago.

The Friendship Story has been floating around the Internet for quite some time now but I have no idea who wrote it.

If you own the copyright to it or are the original composer of the piece, please contact me immediately.  (Photo:  mbgrigby)

One day when I was a freshman in high school, I saw the new kid in my class walking home from school His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.” I had quite a weekend planned with parties and a football game with my friends. So I shrugged my shoulders and walked on.

Just then a bunch of kids ran toward him, knocking the books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. As he looked up, I saw a terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. I jogged over to him, picked up the glasses and handed them to him.

“Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives,” I commented.

He looked at me and said, “Hey, thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me. As we walked home, I discovered he was a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he would like to play football with me and my friends on Saturday. He said, “Yes.” We hung out together all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. My friends liked him too.

On Monday morning, I saw Kyle carrying his huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Dang, boy you are gonna really build some serious muscle carrying this pile of books everyday!” He laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. By our senior year, Kyle had filled out and looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. All the girls loved him, and he always had lots of dates. He had studied hard and was valedictorian of our class.

On graduation day, he was to give a speech. I could see that he was nervous. So I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those really grateful looks and smiled, ‘Thanks.”

He started his speech, “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years: your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but mostly your friends. I am here to tell you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give.”

Then he began to tell the story of the first day we met. I stared at him in disbelief when he told how he had planned to kill himself that weekend. He had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later. I heard a gasp go through the crowd as this handsome and popular boy told about his weakest moment.

He looked hard at me, gave me a little smile, and said, “Thankfully, my friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

His mom and dad looked at me with a grateful nod. Not until that moment did I realize that in one small gesture I changed a person’s life. Now I never underestimate the power of my actions. I learned that the support of a caring friend can impact someone in ways we may not fully understand and appreciate.

Food for thought: Doesn’t this remind you of the fifth grade teacher story? Think of what the power of reaching out to someone can do for that person. It will forever cause a ripple effect. Whoever wrote the above story, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing it!

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In today’s newsletter, he had a very interesting thing to say about “winners and losers” that pretty much complement my thinking on this subject. Without further ado, here is the newsletter, reprinted with his express permission. Thanks Howard.

Leadership: “It Isn’t Winner Take All”

Volume 2 Number 24

by Howard Putnam

Jeff Bezos, Founder and CEO of Amazon.com, was asked by USA Today about all the competition Amazon faces. He said: “Our premise is there are going to be a lot of winners. It’s not winner take all. Other people do not have to lose for us to win.”A very profound statement. Many organizations think they have to put the competition out of business to succeed. Our philosophy at Southwest, when I was there, and years later it still seems to be: “Expand the size of the pie, increase the total market.”I have known Zig Ziglar, the famous motivation speaker for many years. Zig is quoted as saying about the speaking business: “If you help enough other people get what they want,you will get what you want.”When you bring people together and build on partnerships and collaborations, you also build friendships and “everyone wins.” _______________________________________________Howard Putnam speaks on leadership, change, transformation, customer service, teams and ethics. The National Speakers Association inducted Howard into the CPAE (Council of Peers Award of Excellence) Speakers Hall of Fame in 2005. He also is accredited as a CSP (Certified Speaking Professional).He is the former CEO of the highly successful Southwest Airlines and the first CEO to take a major airline, Braniff International, into, through and out of Chapter 11, getting it flying again in less than two years.

Copyright 2007 Howard Putnam Enterprises

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http://www.toilette-humor.com/home_building/your_home.shtml

I have several new posts coming up, many of which will involve my trademark short stories at Adversity University. One of them will chronicle a flight that almost cut my life short. It will be called “The Flight That Almost Killed Me.” It’s about what happened when I rented a small plane and flew myself back to Michigan after spending the Christmas holidays with my family in upstate New York. If you’ve liked my writing style up to this point, I think you’ll like this one too.

If you’re new to AU and don’t yet have a subscription to this blog, go ahead and check out the archives on the top right side of the page for articles from the past or better yet, why not browse through the categories and randomly pick something that attracts you.

If you like what you read, you are invited to sign up for a free subscription to Adversity University either via email or RSS feed so you won’t miss the above mentioned story and many more!

Until the next time, have a great one!

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No matter how many times you’ve taken a chance and went with your instincts, you’re still going to experience some level of “wonderment” (I just made that up), wondering whether the decision you made was going to lead you down the path you envisioned for yourself. Ever been there? Me too.

Many of you are aware of events that led up to opening the manuscript of THAT’S RIGHT STEPHEN! to the readers of Adversity University for feedback. This is the result of a decision I made a week ago or two after a friend introduced me to someone who recently self-published and did a very nice job of it. The outcome of that meeting inspired me to push through my fears and make a firm decision to self-publish, rather than waiting for some literary agent to see the potential of the book.

When I got home after the meeting, I was so pumped up and went out to the balcony to have a cigar to celebrate (I’m always looking for an excuse to light up). I had with me a notebook and pen along with a glass of ice cold water. While I was enjoying the cool summer breeze, contemplating the turn of events, I turned and looked at a large green plastic chair that was propped against the wall on the far right side of the balcony. I was reminded of a silent conversation I once had several weeks earlier, “God, show me that you are watching over me. I would like to see you sit on that chair sometime.”

Suddenly I was visited by the most beautiful blue butterfly. It swung right by me, almost touching my forehead. It startled me at first because I hadn’t seen it come my way. When I realized what it was, I knew I was experiencing a close encounter of the spirit kind!

Intrigued, I watched it for several minutes. It flew around the vicinity of the porch, flying to and from where I was sitting. It seemed to be singing, flying gracefully in a carefree manner. Satisfied that this must be the place where things were happening, it proceeded to land right on that chair! Mesmerized, I stared at it, trying my hardest to lobby forth telepathic thoughts. It responded by flapping its wings.

Then it flew away. Thinking it was gone for good, I went inside and went straight to my computer in the other room. As I was powering it up, the butterfly came right back and landed on the screen of my bedroom window, a mere 2 feet from where I was sitting!

It reminded me of an experience Wayne Dyer once had when he was out for a morning stroll on the beach in Hawaii where he maintains a home. He had an even better story to tell. A butterfly actually landed on the palm of his hand and sat there for several minutes! Wayne somehow managed to take a snapshot of it and put it on the cover of one of his books.

Afraid that the clacking sounds of my keyboard would scare it away, I simply sat there, transfixed at its beauty. Sensing an opportunity to really see what it looked like, I inched closer and saw that it was washing its hands. Gratitude washed over me like a tidal wave. While I wasn’t exactly gushing tears, my eyes got a little wet.

Rubbing my eyes, I realized I had better get going with the work that was ahead. Slowly and tentatively, I pulled up the manuscript and began to work. CLACK, CLACK, CLACK. To my surprise and delight, the noise didn’t bother the butterfly. It seemed to be telling me in a matronly tone of voice, “Please continue on with your work while I wash my hands for supper darling.” For the next twenty minutes, my eyes alternated between the keyboard, the computer screen and the gorgeous blue butterfly. I was in heaven.

While I was working, I was also preoccupied with the arrival of a friend who was due to be stopping by any minute for a brief visit. From where I was sitting, I could see people coming and going, in and out of my apartment building. As soon as I saw him arrive, I got up to buzz him in, thinking the mere act of getting out of my chair would scare it away. It didn’t.

Making my way over to the door, imagine my surprise when I saw out of the corner of my eye the butterfly making a textbook landing on the balcony! Apparently it was not done with me. It must have sensed that I was no longer sitting at my desk and wanted to spend a few more minutes of quality time, making sure I knew this wasn’t some random fluke.

Then it flew out of sight, never to be seen again.

Since that fateful visit, a number of doors began to swing open including the wonderful response I got from the Adversity University community with offers to help with the manuscript among other things including but not limited to an unexpected offer to send the final version to a well known publisher for consideration!

If the visit by the butterfly and the resulting outpouring of assistance from the AU community wasn’t divine confirmation, then I don’t know what it was.

But I do know this:

When you “make up your mind” about something, you set the universe into motion. Forces beyond your ability to comprehend–far more subtle and complex than you could imagine–are engaged in a process, the intricate dynamics of which you are only just now beginning to understand. (“Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh)

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How about you? Do you walk the talk? Do you find yourself doling out advice and then following it yourself? Or do you preach one thing but behave in a contrary manner?

One of the things I most admire in other people is their level of authenticity. Because I respect people of this stature and want to emulate this character trait, I am very conscientious of my own behavior and monitor whether I also “walk the talk.” If there’s anything that makes me want to vomit, it’s being in the presence of hypocrites. You can spot them a mile away.

A few days ago, I wrote “Pimping the so-called Competition.” In that article and another one (see here), I emphasized that there is no such thing as competition. Why? Because it’s all a matter of how we perceive things. It’s actually very smart business to help others out there, especially if their work truly inspires you. If you understand and respect the spiritual law of giving and receiving, then this concept will make perfect sense!

Mindful of the need to stay true to my words from the other day, I’ve decided to take the art of pimping to another level today. On the upper left hand corner, is a photo of a fellow self development writer, speaker and author that I’ve had the good fortune to become friends with recently. His name is Phil Gerbyshak from Make it Great!

While I’ve read a lot of Phil’s articles, there was one that touched me to the core, making me want to pimp the hell out of him. He wrote a beautiful, touching story of his experiences as a young boy who faced adversity along the way: “The Power of Positive Thinking.” You’ll find that he writes from the heart and shares his innermost thoughts, fears and beliefs, telling himself over and over again, “I can do it.” It’s worth your time to read it.

What did you think of it? Did it remind you of your own life’s experiences?

Food for thought: Do you walk the talk? Have you thought about taking the art of pimping to another level and telling the world about someone who truly made a difference in your life? Why not do it in an unconventional way, surprising, even shocking people?

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