Inside the Men's Dome

Here we are, at the beginning of the new year.  If you celebrated Christmas, how was it?  If you didn’t, how was your holiday?  Since I went home for Thanksgiving (upstate NY), I decided to stay put in this small town of Fairfield, Iowa for Christmas.

Driving around the tiny town on Christmas Day was a surreal experience – it was like being in a ghost town.   Not one place (except for gas stations) was open.  I drove around thinking,  “I feel like I’m in a spooky movie or something!”

Since I was still on the Invincible America course (IA) where I had been meditating on a daily basis for the last 6 months (for world peace), I spent most of Christmas Day in the Men’s Dome (see photo–this was taken just before graduation ceremonies back in June 2010 – hence all those chairs up front).  I’m glad to say that while I’ve experienced tremendous inner spiritual growth, my 6 month commitment on the IA course has now come to an end in the new year.

While I was on the course, I was in the Dome from 7:30 am until just after noon to break for lunch/afternoon activities only to have to rush back for another hour and a half  at 5:00 pm.   To be sure, that tested my ability to manage time in between sessions.   It also gave me an opportunity to experience one of the many benefits of advanced meditation which was “doing more with less.”   Despite the limited window of time, I managed to edit my book (sign up here for a free newsletter to get updates on the book’s release), go on a few speaking engagements and take on some new and exciting business opportunities.  When you go deep within, you are continually in touch with the inner source of all that is from where infinite possibilities truly spring forth!

This was taken back in 2009 when I first learned TM

The other benefit of advanced Transcendental Mediation (TM) is how time simply ceases to exist. One evening while visiting parents for Thanksgiving, I said to my Dad, “Hey Dad, it seems like yesterday evening when I said it was time for dinner!”  In other words, the days were going by so blindingly fast that it seemed as if I suddenly found myself looking outside the window only to see the sun was already setting and dinner was ready to be served night after night!

Here’s what’s on my rapidly expanding plate:

I’ve partnered up with three friends whom I met in graduate school to develop affordable Maharishi Sthapatya Veda housing in Fairfield, Iowa.  We will be using a system approved by Maharishi called the Master Building System.  Take a look at this short video and you’ll see exactly how we will be doing this.  Pretty cool huh?

The other thing that is increasingly taking up my time is my new health and wellness coaching business.  Not only did I lose 16 pounds in less than 4 weeks (see photos below) but I also trimmed 3 inches off my waist!   I went on a 30 day cleanse that was so successful that I’ve turned around to help others do the exact same thing for themselves.

Have you heard of Isagenix?

If not, you will because they are a fast growing company in the health and wellness industry that’s knocking competitors dead.  They’ve set themselves apart by focusing on the root cause of health problems which is the removal of toxins on a cellular level.  It is NOT a diet company because we all know what happens when you go on a diet. People lose weight but not without the body suffering from near starvation only to regain it right back after it is over.

Why do they regain weight?

Because the toxins are still inside the body!

With high quality (no artificial anything) yet affordable products, thousands of people have gone on a cleanse where weight loss was a huge side benefit along with increased energy, clarity of mind and overall lightness.  Some of you know I’m a fitness nut (the BEFORE photo below probably tells you otherwise – haha) but I felt increasing strength during my daily runs.  I was like, “Wow, 16 pounds lighter really does  make a difference!”

Let me ask you something…..

How many days does it take to change a habit?

21.

One thing that's different is my waist is now 33 inches! I lost another inch after this photo was taken. WHOOHOO!

That’s is why I chose to undergo the 30 day Isagenix cleanse to give myself a chance to change some of my eating habits.

And by God, it did.  My relationship with food has dramatically changed. I was at a holiday party in December where there was a bunch of goodies on the table, including my all-time favorite:  fudge brownies.  I stared at it and was surprised that I did not feel the craving to have one – not even one little piece!  I didn’t feel “denied” either.  I couldn’t believe it.

Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s not like I’m NEVER ever going to enjoy a brownie or pizza again.  Good God NO!

But the difference is I’m a much more conscious eater than I was before I went on the cleanse.  I’ll eat in moderation.  My food choices have gotten better, which is made easier because I no longer have this carb craving that I used to have.  It just happened naturally.

On its own.

I didn’t say to myself “Oh, my goal is to reduce carbs or cut out this or that.”

You remember I was on the ‘raw food diet’ a few years ago, right?  I was smoking cigars at the time and one day I said to myself, “Hey, smoking cigars and eating raw foods??!??  This doesn’t feel right!”

Then without even realizing it, I simply stopped buying them.  And believe me, I LOVED smoking cigars!  It was fun and tasty.  I got such a kick out of having a cigar with a glass of wine on my balcony at the end of the day when I was living in Ohio (and Michigan).  But without even realizing it, the desire for cigars simply vanished.

That’s what will happen to you on the cleanse.  You’ll be totally transformed not only physically but also mentally.  With a change in relationship to food, you’ll also experience a change in relationship in every other area of your life.  Without having to lift a finger.  You’ll be amazed.

Back to the raw food regiment for a second.  While it lasted 9 months and I enjoyed every minute of it, that lifestyle became too difficult to maintain as there was a lot of preparation involved (cleaning, chopping, blending, juicing, etc).  It ended when I decided to go back to school to get a graduate degree.  It became impossible to continue with it because I didn’t have any counter space in my tiny dorm room.  I also very well knew I wouldn’t be able to flick to life the noisy Vita-Mix in

The Isagenix shakes are unlike any of the ones I've tried - they are so incredibly delicious, smooth and not too sweet. The one you see here is the Vanilla flavor - AHHHHHH!

the early morning hours to make my favorite green smoothies while everyone was still sleeping!

But Isagenix – it’s super easy to maintain and you’re still getting all the nutrients in your body that even rivals the raw food regiment!

Here’s another question.

How many meals are there in a month?

90.

On my 30 day cleanse, 68 of those meals were replaced – all I needed to do was to reallocate my grocery budget toward the cleanse which effectively meant I did not have to spend another dime for the month.  In fact, I ended up SAVING money and still lost weight!  Now that I’m out of school, I’m no longer on their meal plan which means non-students have to pay much more money if they wanted to eat in the dining hall.

Guess how much?

$150 for only 20 meals.

Do the math.  That translates to just under $8 a meal to eat at the university’s dining hall.

On the other hand, the 30 day cleanse cost me an average of $3 per meal and I was still getting all of the nutrients my body needed PLUS I was losing weight!

A no brainer if you ask me.

Ok let me ask you this – do you have any health and wellness goals?  Does any of the following appeal to you:

• Have fun exercising
• Reduce Stress
• Sleep Better
• Build Lean Muscle
• Break a Bad Habit
• Improve a Relationship
• Have More Energy

Well, then now you know why I’m so excited about sharing my own weight loss story like this before.  I’ve experienced each and every one of the above thanks to Isagenix.

I first heard about Isagenix from a friend on Facebook.  Then he send me a very inspiring video of a young girl with Down’s Syndrome who went on an Isagenix 30 day cleanse and my God, I was blown away.  Check it out – a word of warning – you might need a tissue or two.

I love this company so much that I’ve been telling virtually everyone who is interested in health and wellness to at least give it a try with no risk (100 percent  money back guarantee).  In fact, I’m so happy with what it’s done for me that I am eagerly awaiting shipment of my “Athletes” maintenance package to keep up my new lifestyle.

What’s more, I practically can’t keep up with the demand for me to coach people on this – for FREE!  Yes, I’ll coach you for FREE FREE FREE if you decide you want to take your health and wellness to the next level.   All you have to do is order the 30 day cleanse and challenge yourself to kick-start your new year with a kick ass attitude!

The moment you make a FIRM DECISION that you deserve to look and feel your best and keep it that way is the time to let me personally coach you.

Happy New Year!

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I never know where I’ll get the inspiration to write a post that I feel strongly about.  It was born over the weekend after having a great discussion with a good friend of mine, Joni. (Photo credit:  ifido)

Every time we get together, we end up having a long conversation about everything ranging from politics to the state of the economy to human rights to matters of spiritual nature.

It’s always thought provoking, entertaining and most definitely uplifting.  Sometimes our talks last for hours.  Rather than feel tired and stiff, we feel rejuvenated by the time we part ways.   It was during one of those talks that I am sometimes hit with simple, yet profound reminders of the truth when I get together with friends like that.

Let me paraphrase Joni’s parting words:

You don’t realize this but every time your let your inner child come out to play, people are profoundly touched and moved.  Let me remind and encourage you to open that door and let him come out more often because that’s God’s gift to you.  It has incredible healing power that can literally move mountains and you don’t even realize it!

OMG.

She was talking about the magic of human connectivity.   Earlier in the day, I had told her that although I won the next level of the Toastmaster’s Humorous Speech Contest (I’m now competing on the Divisional level this coming Saturday, October 4, 2008), I did not experience the same magical feeling compared to when I first gave the speech at the club level a week ago.

Someone from my club who was at the Area Contest said, “Frankly I liked the first time you told The James Bond Lady Fiasco story because you were more playful.  I loved how you acted out portions of that speech with dramatic flair – it was much funnier and more touching.”

She was right.  I hadn’t let my inner child come out the second time around.  I was too busy worrying about going over the time limit so I rushed through it.  My mouth got dry and I did not feel like I was in the flow.  (Photo Credit:  MGREIS)

Have you ever been in that position?

By the time I realized what was happening, I attempted to slow down and tried to get into the groove but it was too late.  Despite that, I still won first place but I now have another opportunity to make adjustments at the next contest.

Let the inner child come out and play.

Every time I allow that to happen, regardless of whether I’m speaking, writing or interacting with other people (especially during interview situations), I instantly go into the “zone.”

Words, thoughts, ideas, expressions come naturally to me without so much a blip.  It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world because it’s magical.   I speak clearly and articulately.   I feel all of us are one during those times.   It is this magic that gives me the ability to move people and inspire them in deep and profound ways.

However, when that inner child is locked away, the magic cannot display its full potential.  If people are lucky enough, they’ll only catch a brief glimpse of the magic.    I’m guessing that’s what happened when the judges heard me speak this weekend.

Whether you realize it or not (and regardless of what you do), people subconsciously respond to that part of you better than when you attempt to put up this “adult-playacting” role.   When you let your hair down (assuming you have any, hahahaha – I certainly don’t!), you encourage others to do the same.   Invisible walls come tumbling down and people connect at a cellular level.  There’s no need to pretend, compete or play games.

Do you know what that feels like?  It’s complete freedom, let me tell you!

I am here to remind you that your inner child has the power to hold the world in the palm of your hand.  I know this because I’ve seen myself do it numerous times.  (Photo credit:  Elli 19)

Your inner child is your best friend who is quite capable of putting you in the natural flow of life.   When we allow it to emerge, an instant bond is formed with those around us.  Words tumble out easily and effortlessly.  We feel light and energetic.   Because things snap into place easily and effortlessly, hardly a finger needs to be lifted to “make things happen.”

Just before Joni walked out the door, I suddenly transformed myself into a giddy little kid, got down on my knees and shouted, “YES, YOU ARE RIGHT, I MUST LET MY INNER CHILD COME OUT!”

Tears instantly sprang forth.  Jabbing her finger at me, she excitedly said,   “See? That’s what I’m talking about!  When you let go and be who you really are, you have this tremendous power to jump into people’s hearts and heal them, just like you’re doing with me right now!”

With that, she waved goodbye and sped off into the night, leaving me with this incredible desire to share with you this important question:  Knock, Knock, Can you Come Out to Play?

Food for thought:  When was the last time you did that?

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Finally at 2 a.m. we pinpointed the source of the problem and fixed it.  But that led to the creation of another problem that will have to be dealt with at a later time (i.e. my videophone no longer works – ACK!).

Putting things in perspective though, at least I’m back online!  (Image credit: Drama Mafia )

But that’s not the subject of today’s gratitude post.

You will notice the format to be a little different today.  That’s because I have one story surrounding the power of “what goes around comes around.”  I experienced an amazing situation of that theme this week.  The other stuff I want to share with you will be outlined in another posting – perhaps over the weekend.

But before I go into that, I wish to ask everyone for a moment of silence.  Randy Pausch, famous for “The Last Lecture” died of pancreatic cancer yesterday.  I was so incredibly inspired by this man who lived life right to the very end.  After the “last lecture” video went viral, he appeared on Oprah and inspired many millions of more people around the world.  Not long after that, Harper Collins published “The Last Lecture” that went on to be an instant best-seller.   While this is a sad moment in passing, I somehow know this man would not have wanted the world to mourn for his death.  He would have wanted us to celebrate the beauty of his and our own lives.  Thank you Randy for giving us what we so desperately needed – a reminder of the simple truths of life.  Thank you.  We will see you when we come home later.

Now turning to this week’s gratitude story.   Oh Good Lord, do I have something to share with you!

The incident happened yesterday.  After a good workout at the gym, I hopped into my car, started it, and scanned through emails on my “Crackberry.”  Once I finished responding to various emails, I set the BB down, put the car in reverse and began to back out.

CRUNCH!

OMG.

Yep – you guessed it.

Another fender bender on a parking lot!

But this time it was MY FAULT.

He had the right of way.

As soon as I felt the impact, I was like, “OH SH****T.”

I couldn’t believe it because you’ll recall about a month ago, almost the exact same thing happened to my car in another parking lot.  The only difference between the two incidents was that I was not in my car when it happened before.  If you’re new here and have no idea what I’m talking about, see A Fender Bender That Could Have Gone Wrong.

You all remember from that story how I found a yellow piece of paper that was taped to the driver’s side window, flapping in the wind.  It had on it the responsible driver’s name and her contact information.  You can imagine how grateful I felt upon seeing that note!  (Image credit:  lilly1975)

Someone led me to her inside the building, next to the parking lot.  This woman was clearly distraught, way more upset than I was.  Throughout the entire exchange, I kept a very calm, serene demeanor.  I kept telling her things like, It’ll all work out, thank you for taking responsibility and for being so honest about it.  I am very grateful to you.

Well, God bless her and her insurance company because within a week, my car was like new again.  You can’t even tell that someone hit me less than a month ago.  (BEFORE and AFTER photos can be seen at the above fender bender link).

Well, let’s fast forward to yesterday.  After I realized I hit someone, I got out of the car, half expecting the driver to scream a litany of profane words; but like how I behaved with that woman, he was remarkably calm and peaceful.   It was stunning display of the boomerang effect from the universe.  It was as if I was watching myself in a movie being replayed. 

Utterly incredulous.

Together, the man and I decided not to call the police and simply exchanged insurance information.   Like the above mentioned woman, I got right on the phone and called my insurance company to get the claim processed as quickly as possible.  I so very much wanted to continue to pay it forward.  How could I not, after what she did for me?

And get this………

Are you sitting down?

The location of the damage to his car was EXACTLY the same as mine a month ago!

Wait, there’s more!

The amount of damage to both of our cars were identical.

Food for thought:  Have you ever experienced the truth of “What Goes Around Comes Around” in your life?

Side notes:

1.  Be on the lookout for some more gratitude items in a future post; including a new corporate speaking engagement, a couple of new scripts recently installed for this blog (that you should most definitely be aware of), a newly upgraded version of the blog theme, a new Tweet-up event that I am coordinating with another Twitterer from the local area and more.   So much to be grateful for!

2.  You will note that the CommentLuv plugin no longer exists.  It had to be pulled for two reasons.  One is that it was parsing only some of your last blog posts but not others, giving the impression that I was being selective about it.   Thanks to Corrine Edwards for alerting me to this malfunction.

The second is because it was causing my WP database to become enormously bloated with worthless junk, which would have slowed everything down if I had continued to let it accumulate. (See Comment #28 at Upgraded: xMark 2.5 Released).

But all is not lost!  Commentators are still being “recognized” for their input because their names are still being linked back to their blogs (assuming they have one and filled in the URL box).   We also have the “Monthly Comment Champs” and “Most Recent Comments” sidebars, further giving you link love in exchange for taking the time to share with us your thoughts.  So the love is still there – okay?

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But that’s another post for later this week.

After the service was over, we went out for a bite to eat and had a rather interesting discussion about his spiritual/religious beliefs, some of which I agreed with while I had difficulty wrapping my head around others (i.e. a wrathful God who doles out punishment).

At one point we were philosophizing (I love to philosophize!) about how God uses everyone as a messenger of sorts to reach out to others.  As I was talking about a specific instance of how I was used, I realized it had the making of a useful post here at Adversity University.

In September of 2000, I was looking for a part-time job to supplement my income while building a professional speaking career.  I had just left the world of Wall Street only a few years prior to pursue my newly established dreams of becoming a speaker, writer and eventually pilot.  Because I was still in the process of developing speech materials and getting myself out there, I needed to find a way to pay the bills.

It was right around that time I had a few months of flight training under my belt after having made the stupendous discovery on the Internet that deaf pilots had been flying since 1948.

By that point, I was taking flight instruction at a small one-man flight school.  But after several lessons, I was informed that Jason Barton (the flight instructor) had been offered a flying job in Colorado.  That meant he was shutting down and moving out West.  (The photo you see is a much thinner me standing next to a small Cessna 150 after my very first flight lesson on March 23, 2000).

An idea occurred to me that I should not only find another flight school, preferably a bigger one, but also find one where I could work part-time in exchange for steep airplane rental discounts.  I had gotten this idea from reading stories of pilots who had financed their flight training that way.

One thing led to another and I found myself at Troy-Oakland airport where I previously shared the story of a flight instructor who gave selflessly.  It was he who told me of an opening at that airport and introduced me to Susan, the personnel director.

An interview was set for me to meet two young men who were running the operations department.  For purposes of this story, I will call them Chris and Joe.

I distinctly remember the interview well.  Chris seemed pleasant but Joe was a bit guarded.  I could tell that Joe wasn’t all that enamored about hiring a deaf guy.   He didn’t seem to think I had what it took to be a line service specialist (i.e. fuel customer planes, tow them around and assist the mechanics with light maintenance work).  Carl, on the other hand, was enthusiastically full of ideas on how they could provide me with a text-based pager that vibrated every time a fuel order came through.

Despite Joe’s stiff resistance, I was hired.

As you can imagine, there was a lot to absorb, one of which was learning how to transfer thousands of gallons of fuel from the fuel farm into the trucks.  The learning curve, while not excessively steep, was a challenge for any newbie. (Photo credit:  Charly Mann)

One evening, I was out behind the fuel farm and Joe was there, watching me hook up the hoses and pull a few switches.  Of course, I was very nervous because I had all sorts of fears about what would happen if I made a mistake like spilling fuel or pulling the wrong switches.

As darkness fell, I had to use a flashlight throughout the task.  Joe was standing there with a smirk on his face.  It was almost as if he was willing me to make a mistake so that he could prove that I wasn’t up for it.

At one point, I asked him for some assistance and show me the ropes.  In an arrogant sort of way, he impatiently huffed and puffed his way through the procedures and literally dared me to follow suit.  That only made me even more nervous.

Needless to say, it was not a pleasant evening.  I had to shine the flashlight at his lips so that I could read them, which caused his ire to rise even further.  Thick tension hung in the air – you could have literally sliced through it, leaving a trail in its wake.

Eventually I eased into the routine and fell into the groove, no longer needing his unwanted attention.  Meanwhile, I was taking flight lessons from that flight instructor I told you about earlier (see the link above).  Apparently this earned me a bit of begrudging respect from Joe, especially after I finally became a pilot.  It didn’t take long after that before we became good friends, often flying together to a lot of different places.

One night we were flying back to the airport from a trip to Ohio (where I would eventually relocate to) when we experienced an electrical failure in the cockpit.

Unlike the photo you see at the left, instrument panel was pitch black.  All we could see was what was outside, the sprawling city lights, to guide us.

Now, this was not in of itself a catastrophic event because we were flying on a clear night but it required nerves of steel.  (Photo credit:  Dr. Engineer-001)

Since I had flown the first leg (from Michigan to Ohio) it was his turn to fly.  The emergency put him on the hot seat and I could see that his face was twitching, the likes of which I had never seen him do before.  The cockiness was no longer there.  This was for real.

I was instantly transformed from a lazy passenger in the right seat to a navigator, pointing out various cities on the way back.  A special flashlight was used to monitor critical instruments like the airspeed and altitude indicators, among others.

All of a sudden, we were a team.  Unlike the day I was learning how to fill up the fuel trucks, we really needed each other.  What a reversal of roles!  Obviously, we made it back safely but neither of us ever forgot the incident.  I would say this flight cemented our friendship even tighter for he realized I was one sharp fella in the cockpit after all.

A few years later, the airport management disbanded and sold the company to someone else who laid off virtually everyone including Joe and I.  Joe found another airport job and got married while I moved down to Ohio to begin my quest for the historic instrument rating.

We kept in touch mainly by email.  One day I received message that he and his wife wanted to fly themselves down to Ohio to meet with me on an urgent matter.

“We want to get some advice from you…it has to do with our baby boy.”

I quickly replied, “Sure, I’d be happy to see you two, come on down anytime!”

Arrangements were made to meet at Wadsworth Airport, a small field without an air traffic control tower where I had been renting planes for some time.  A date and estimated time of arrival was set.

On the day of their arrival, I excitedly drove myself to the airport and waited with anticipation.  Swirling in my mind were thoughts of what on earth they wanted to talk to me about.

Pretty soon a twin engine Diamond aircraft appeared in the sky, very close to the time Joe said they’d arrive.

It was them.

After Joe parked and shut down the aircraft, the three of us piled in my car and headed to Bob Evans for a bite to eat.  We ordered our meals and made idle chit-chat for several minutes.

My heart kept pounding.  I was impatient for them to get to the crust of the real reason for flying down to see me.  They weren’t just coming out to say, “Hello.”

And by the way, while we were catching up on things, I kept marveling at the fact that this guy, who once didn’t like me, was now here with his wife……to get my advice on something!

I kept watching for signs leading to an opening when it finally came.

From his wife.

“About our son……”

Here it comes. Setting down the fork, I leaned across the table.  “Yes?”

Taking a gulp of air she said, “Shortly after birth, the doctors performed routine tests on the baby and…….”

My eyes flitted back and forth between the wife and Joe.   I was stunned to see his eyes welling up.  He was definitely struggling to maintain his manly composure.  This was a guy who was not used to putting his emotions on display.

Suddenly, I knew what was coming.  I held my breath.

She continued, “Our son was born with a severe loss of hearing and we aren’t sure what to do about it.  We were hoping you’d give us some tips.”

There was a long, pregnant pause.  The air seem to crackle.

At that moment, my shoulders eased back and slumped.  It was similar to what people feel when they are finally told the truth after an extended build up of anticipation.

I spent the next several minutes sharing my own experiences of growing up deaf.  I talked about the possibility of getting hearing aids for him or opting for the cochlear implant surgery.  I described how I was taught to speak and how I learned sign language much later in life.

They were cautioned that what my parents chose for me might not necessarily work for them but that the options were there.  Parents of hearing impaired children have much more available to them today then when I was first diagnosed with deafness.   More ideas and tips were given to the very grateful parents.

Before long it was time to take them back to the airport.  I could tell the trip did them much good for they appeared much less burdened than when they first arrived – there was hope for their son.

The moral of the story?  It was no accident Joe was put on my path the way he was.  Without him realizing it, I ended up becoming his teacher.  Even I didn’t know why this guy was put into my life until that very moment.  It was so abundantly clear.  But it took years for the real reason we met to surface.

The universe is like that.  Mysterious, yet exacting.

Food for thought:  Have you ever had someone put on your path to teach you a lesson?  Looking back, can you think of someone who was put on your path so that you could teach them something of value?  I’d love to hear your stories of connection and how they panned out for you (or them).

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It was the beginning of a hot summer day.  After finding Wadsworth Park, I trekked across the moist dew covered grass and made my way over to where Joanna and Cheryl, coordinators of the event, were busy getting organized. (Photo Credit:  Demi Photography)

I first began by finding myself a makeshift dressing area, which was actually out in open space, behind the massive stone fireplace that was part of the pavilion.  Fortunately, the fireplace was wide enough to afford me some privacy while I changed out of my Docker slacks and golf shirt into a pair of shorts and t-shirt.

While I was changing, a burly mustached park ranger with a large gun and dark Tom Cruise sunglasses approached Joanna to introduce himself.  He was just being friendly, offering any assistance we might need.  At one point, he cocked his head sideways as if he heard something coming from behind the fireplace.

“I think I hear a deer back there,” he said.

Before he had a chance to head in that direction, Joanna, the director of Greenleaf Family Services, quickly piped up, “Oh no, that’s one of our guys getting changed back there!”

My goodness, I had no idea I was capable of making so much noise when it came to a simple change of clothing!

As I emerged from behind the fireplace, you can imagine my surprise to see this linebacker of a ranger  standing next to Joanna with arms folded across his powerful chest.   I remember thinking it was a good thing he wasn’t left to his own devices because had he gone to investigate the rustling sounds, I would probably have acted like a deer caught in headlights and died on the spot from embarrassment!

Around 11:30 am, the first batch of kids began to arrive.  My heart picked up a beat. While my signing skills had improved over the years, I was a late bloomer in that department (among other things) because I wasn’t exposed to it until I was well into my third year of college.  Over the years though, I slowly but steadily improved to the point where I was easily able to converse with just about anyone who used sign language as a primary  means of communication.  It made me feel bilingual.

I also had a flashback to when I was a young boy.  While growing up, I never had deaf role models to look up to because there weren’t any.  So casting myself in that role was going to be one very interesting experience.

Little did I know a pint-sized of a kid was going to make a huge impact on my life a few hours later.

Somewhat apprehensive, I had absolutely no idea how things were going to unfold but I decided that I would just go with the flow and see what happened.  Before I knew it, I found myself taking the lead for most of that morning, surprising myself.  Not one word came out of my mouth – my hands did all the talking – I was feeling pretty good about it, especially when the kids understood what I was telling them.

The first game we played was the “spider web” where a huge ball of yarn was thrown around the circle.  Whoever caught the yarn had to state his/her name, age and where they were from and then while holding on to one end of the string, throw it to someone else in the circle. (Photo Credit:  isabelavistue).

Pretty soon a massive spider web formed, connecting each and every kid in the group.  The purpose was to foster interconnectedness among them and break the ice, giving everyone a chance to introduce themselves in a safe, fun environment.  Clearly the kids were enjoying themselves.

While I was running that game, I had no idea what I was going to do or say after everyone was finally connected so I pretty much went with the flow.  At the end, I came up with this idea to get everyone to shake the spider web up and down like you would when trying to lay down a blanket for a picnic and then vigorously shake it sideways.  Finally, I instructed everyone to let go on the count of 3.  It crumbled to a mass heap of what was once a colorful ball of yarn.  (Photo Credit:  chatirygirl)

All throughout the day, I found myself connecting with them in ways I never before experienced.  To the casual observer, the picnic might have looked like just another gathering of kids but upon closer inspection, it ran much deeper than that.

New friendships were formed at the speed of light.  Everyone was being validated by everyone else because all of them, including the deaf adult role models, were using the same method of communication – no one was left out.  Ages ranged from 7 to 18 and they were from different counties who were coming together for the first time.  It was also a golden opportunity for these kids to witness deaf adults like myself, Barbara and Sheryl take up leadership roles.

Among the 30 or so kids, Jared was the youngest and smallest of the group.  Sporting a dark blue baseball cap and a missing front tooth or two, he would be the one who would end up making the biggest impact on me that day.  I was in no way prepared for what was about to happen.

Barbara was leading a “Scavenger Hunt” where the kids were instructed to collect items including, but not limited to, a bug (dead or alive), the butt of a cigarette, a clover, a branch and several other things that were on a list.  Whoever collected the most in a bag in the shortest amount of time would be declared the winner.

As soon as she signed “GO,” everyone quickly scampered around the park and went on what looked like an Easter Egg hunt.  One by one, they ran back to us to show off their prized possessions.

At one point, 7-year old Jared stood patiently while I examined the contents of another kid’s collection.  As soon as I turned to him, he proudly thrust the white plastic bag up to my face for closer inspection.  I went through the list and “verified” the contents, one by one.

“Where is the bug?” I signed to him.

Poking his head into the bag, he rifled through its contents and excitedly pulled out a live worm, causing me to grin, thinking “Oh how cute.”  But my face was quickly transformed to one of horror when in the next instant the worm slipped from his hand to the pavement and accidentally met the bottom of another kid’s shoe.

Jared immediately burst to tears, terribly upset at the worm’s untimely demise.  He was passionately signing to me what had just happened.  My heart just fell apart.

There he was, his eyes shimmering from the tears, sharing with me his most devastating moment and I understood all of it.

Every single word.

There was no communication barrier between the two of us.  Ordinary people with hearing would not have understood a word.

But I did.

Signing back with enormous compassion, I asked, “Would you like to go find a new one out there?”  I was pointing to the grounds beyond the pavilion.

Sniffling and wiping away snot, he nodded that he would.  He then grabbed my hand and together we went hunting.  Within minutes, I found a large rock and overturned it to discover a fisherman’s dream of a fat, moist worm.  Picking it up with the use of my forefinger and thumb, I showed the furiously wriggling worm to Jared.  His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Gingerly putting the new livestock into his bag, I signed, “Are you happy now?”

You would have thought it was his birthday.  A huge toothless grin broke across the tear streaked face and in one instant everything in his little world was alright again.  He skipped happily back to the pavilion and went on with the rest of the festivities.

It was a priceless moment when heaven and earth merged with no more separation between the two.

When he first arrived, he was quite shy, not knowing what to make of everyone else who towered over him by several feet.  But as the day wore on, he gradually came out of his shell and I ended up witnessing a miraculous transformation.

Food for thought:  What lesson(s) did Jared teach you?  Have you reached out and acted as a role model for a kid today?

Note:  My interview with Lorelle of WordPress will be delayed by one day to give this post a chance to be seen and commented upon.  Therefore, I will be posting Part I of my interview with her on Wednesday night rather than Tuesday night (tonight) as I customarily do.  Thanks.

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We all do it.

But that doesn’t make it right. We create our own adversity when we try to get away with lies we tell ourselves. There’s a saying that we might try to fool others but we can’t fool God or ourselves. Sooner or later those lies come back to bite us. Hard.

We lie to ourselves for two main reasons: fear and laziness. We’re too lazy to do what we know needs to be done. Either that or we’re afraid of facing what we know to be the truth so we gloss over things or look the other way.

Here are couple of the lies I’ve told myself over the years and how I found them not to be so true after all:

Lie #1: I’m not well connected.

Truth: Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always who you know but mostly what you do (i.e. take action) that brings you closer to your goals. I have numerous examples of my own experiences that smash this little white lie to pieces but I will share 3 with you.

• Example 1: Up to this point, none of my speaking engagements have come as a result of someone I knew. That’s right, ZIPPO. It all began with the decision to have my speaking website professionally overhauled. What I needed was a user friendly site with video testimonials and clips, to name a few. It wasn’t cheap but two or three weeks after the new site went live, I got a completely unsolicited speaking engagement from the University of Phoenix (and many more after that). The funny thing was I knew no one from there. They found me through a Google search and once they visited the site, I was contacted to see if I was available and what my price was. Once I told them the specifics, I was hired. Just like that. No haggling over price, no this or that. Snap, snap and I was booked. Why? Not because I had any “inside contacts” but because I took action. It’s not who you know but what you do.
• Example 2: Several weeks ago, Mark Joyner from Simpleology launched a video competition for the BestSelling Blueprint program (BeTheNextBestSellingAuthor.com). Right around that time, I had just bought a new camcorder and was trying things out for this blog. While I was playing around with it, a subscriber alerted me to Mark’s video competition and suggested that I give it a shot. At first, doubt plagued my mind but I manage to shove them aside and did the video anyway. Competition was fierce with over 200 videos submitted yet I came in first place. Why? Not because I knew Mark or anyone from Simpleology, but because I took action, made the video and then submitted it. It’s not who you know but what you do.
• Example 3: In the late 1990′s, I was sitting on my couch, thinking of all the people who made a difference in my life. My fifth grade teacher’s face swam into focus. I asked myself, “How can I thank her in a big way for making a difference in my life?” The first thought was “On a talk show, why not!?’ The fact that I didn’t know anyone in Hollywood almost stopped me from at least giving it a shot. I wrote a letter to Oprah, The Gayle King Show (now off the air-she’s Oprah’s best friend), The View (with 4 woman including Barbara Walters) and Leeza (also now off the air). Would you believe that every single one of them (except Oprah) got back to me within a week? That’s right – I ended up surprising my fifth grade teacher on the national Leeza show! And it wasn’t because I had “Hollywood” connections but because I took action and simply wrote a letter! It’s not who you know but what you do.

I have many more examples but this ought to suffice. Can you think of a time something good came because of an action you took and not because you knew someone who knew someone else, as the saying goes? I’d love to hear about it.

Lie #2: It’s normal to have love handles and a beer belly when you reach middle age.

Truth: It doesn’t have to be that way. There are men and women in GREAT shape in their 40′s, 50′s 60′s and even older.

• Last year I made a decision to take better care of myself by maintaining a disciplined physical fitness regiment and becoming conscious of what I was eating. For a long time I looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted by what I saw but glossed over it by saying, “Hey, I’m almost 50, what do you expect?” But the lie was a way of covering up the fact that I was too lazy to workout. Deep down inside, I was not at all happy with how I looked. It didn’t feel good to suck in my stomach so I could fit in those pants I bought last year. I felt unattractive. My self confidence took a hit. But once I dropped this lie and made a firm decision, I went on to lose 20 lbs in less than 4 months! The end result? I felt GREAT. My confidence returned and I had more energy. I had a bounce to my walk. That was last year.

Unfortunately this year, I didn’t keep up with it and gained it all back. After going to SOBCon08 last weekend and meeting a lot of “in-shape” bloggers, I knew I was back to lying to myself again.

Therefore, I am holding myself accountable and telling you, my faithful friends, that I am not only working out on a regular basis (again!) but also becoming a conscious eater. My intention is to be back to my normal weight of 155 lbs by September 1, 2008, four months from now. I know I can do this because it was only a year ago I did this. It doesn’t matter that I am almost 50 (okay, okay, I’m going to be 48 in a few weeks, okay? Is that close enough?).

Lie #3: Someone will discover me and write me a big check.

Truth: While Bruce Willis was discovered as a bartender, being found as the next big talent rarely happens. No one is going to enamored by what you’re doing (especially if you’re not out there promoting yourself – more on that in another post) and suddenly write you a check. You have to bite the bullet even if it means going into debt or taking out a business loan (both of which I abhorred the thought of doing).

• Telling myself this lie held me back from making investments in the things I knew needed to be done. For instance, I kept putting off the making of my demo video tape because I knew it would cost thousands to hire the right video person to do it for me. I lied to myself because I was afraid to fall back into the hole like I did in the early 80′s. The experience of getting over my head with credit card debt (to the point where i almost went bankrupt) made me reluctant to touch credit cards ever again. But you gotta do what you gotta do if you want your business to take off. Only you can take action.

Lie #4: My self esteem comes from people, places and things outside myself.

Truth: While praise and recognition from other people, places or circumstances is wonderful, they are fickle, fleeting. What lasts is the feeling that comes from accomplishing something you did. This allows you to raise your self esteem anytime you want because it’s not based on something outside yourself (which can change at the drop of a hat).

• I used to tell myself that if the audience wasn’t clapping loudly enough or giving me a standing ovation at the end, it meant that I sucked. I now know that’s not true. I don’t do speeches for the standing ovations (outside myself); I do them to make a difference (feel good inside).

Two weeks ago I gave a presentation in Las Vegas as a closing keynote speaker. It was one of those presentations where I was in the “zone.” My mind, body and spirit were connected. The stories that I was sharing flowed beautifully. I felt confident, powerful and very much connected with everyone in the room. After it was over, I asked myself what I thought of my own performance. My response was, “It felt really, really good.” And you know what? That’s all that really counts. It didn’t matter that I didn’t get a standing ovation. It didn’t matter that no one rushed over to mob me for an autograph. It didn’t matter that one or two people “didn’t get it.” It was the “doing” of this speech that elevated my self-esteem, not the audience.

Food for thought: What lies have you told yourself lately? Don’t be shy!

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This week I went to Las Vegas to give a closing keynote presentation for the Michigan-based Risk Management Institute. They sponsored a national conference for hospital CEO’s, nurses, doctors and other health care professionals.

My topic, “Transforming Adversity into Success,” was very well received and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

Since it was my first time there, I booked myself an extra night at my own expense so that I could enjoy a bit of sightseeing.

Let me tell you, it was amazing to see a bunch of people gambling at all hours! I watched with utter fascination dealers who expertly dealt the cards, laid out the chips in neat rows and then took them away in one fell swoop whenever the players lost. People from all walks of life gambled with a mixture of fun and seriousness. For them, there were no shortages of cocktails delivered by shapely, attractive women who seemed to enjoy working there. The entire gambling scene was mesmerizing for this first-time visitor!

Did I gamble, you ask me? Nah. I was content to just watch. Maybe next time.

After the presentation, I went for a swim in one of several pools behind the MGM Grand Hotel. The air was very dry and moderately hot (around the high 80′s), causing my lips to burn and crack at the corners. After I had enough of that, I took a long stroll on the strip, very much looking like a tourist, taking plenty of pictures.

Despite the so-called recession, I was surprised to see a $7 billion construction project taking place on the strip. It was fascinating to watch workers, the size of tiny ants, working several hundred feet above the ground and the cranes do their thing.

Amazing!!

I’m also very thankful that I was reunited with an old friend that I used to fly with when I was living in Michigan. Nick is now a very successful businessman who volunteered to tape my presentation on Tuesday morning. I was so grateful that I treated him to a delicious lunch at famed Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant inside the MGM Grand Hotel. The food was so good that I ended up treating myself to a fabulous Wolfgang Puck steak dinner later that night!

Note: I have several more photos for you but I am having trouble inserting them here so I’ll save them for a new post tomorrow. I’m still learning how to use the photo feature at WordPress so please bear with me. We’ve got some really good ones coming up so stay tuned!

Food for Thought: Have you been to Vegas before? If so, let us know about your experiences!

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Are you familiar with Ten Thousand Villages?

It’s a global organization supporting the work of thousands of artists from around the world, particularly those living in third world countries.  My church, First Grace United Church of Christ, recently opened a Ten Thousand Villages store as part of its growing stable of successful ministries and smartly named it Market Path.  It is almost like a franchise operation but without the encumbrances that normally come with such stores.  Shop owners are free to name it whatever they want and decorate the store as they see fit, even selling products from vendors outside Ten Thousand Villages. 

Ten Thousand Villages is part of a world-wide movement to practice fair trade, creating opportunities for economically disadvantaged producers, giving them a chance to earn fair wages for a better quality life.      

One day after Sunday services, I experienced a bone-jarring moment of synchronicity at Market Path.  

I decided to stop by the store to see if I could lend a helping hand.  Perhaps the garbage needed to be taken out or the cardboard boxes had to be flattened and disposed of.   Thanks to the two delightfully energetic and perpetually smiling young ladies who work there full time (Jenni Browning and Janet Rhodes), I always walk out of there with my spirits uplifted.  Not only are they full of loving energy but they have truly mastered the art of smiling that even a group of pre-teenage boys from the neighborhood now call it “the cool store.”  When you have a couple of hard-to-impress group of kids calling your store a cool place to be, then you know something awesome is happening!    

On this particular day, Anthony Colucci, also a member of First Grace, was there assisting Jenni with the scanning of products into the store’s new computer system.  Approaching the counter, I noticed he was holding an attractively designed triangular box, piquing my interest.  

“Hey Anthony, what’s that you have in your hands?” I inquired, intensely curious.

Taking off the cover, he showed me what was inside.  What I saw immediately inspired me to buy one.  In the box was two auburn-colored ceramic hands, beautifully carved and cupped together (as if drinking water from a fountain), along with several pieces of pleasant smelling cone-shaped incense.  I had never seen anything like it before.

Pointing to the box in Anthony’s hands, I excitedly said, “Jenni, where can I find more of those?” 

Grabbing my hand, she happily led me to a three tier shelf that was perched in the middle of the tiny store, a mere few feet from the counter.  The top shelf had a piece of cloth that hung over the edge, partially obscuring the neatly stacked triangular boxes on the second shelf.  After rearranging it so that it was prominently displayed, I took one up to the counter for purchase.

While Anthony rang up the sale, Jenni was busy pulling up information off the Internet on the store’s laptop computer to find out the story behind the incense set.  We wanted to know who made it and where they were from.

The laptop was connected to a video projector that was nestled securely on top of a small wooden platform that hung from the ceiling by two chains fastened on both sides.  The projector was aimed at a wall behind the counter for easy viewing.        

After punching in the item number into the computer, the wall behind the counter lit up with information.        

We could not believe our eyes when we read the name of the organization that made the incense. 

Silence.  

For those of you who are visiting here for the very first time, I’ve lived in a world of silence ever since I was born!

But wait, there’s more.  

According to the Ten Thousand Village website, Silence is composed of a group of hearing impaired and other physically disabled artists living in India!

Whoa, do you think that was a “coincidence”?  I mean, what are the odds of that happening? 

Marveling at the synchronicity of it all, I rushed back to the shelf and got myself another set.  How could I not?  Isn’t that a cool way to give back or what?  

No wonder the neighborhood kids thought of the store as the cool place to be!  Next time you talk to a kid, listen up.  Sometimes they know about things we adults are “too grown up” to think about.  Did you know that a couple of kids came up with the title “Chicken Soup for the Soul” that went on to become best-sellers?   

Are you curious what the incense set looked like?  Because I couldn’t find the image in the Ten Thousand Villages website, I asked Jenni to send me a picture via email.  Here it is:

For more information about Ten Thousand Villages and to find a store near you, please visit their website.  

You never know - you might even experience a moment of awe-inspiring synchronicity like I did! 

If you do, please be sure to let me know about it!  

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My friend and fellow blogger Phil Gerbyshak wrote a great article outlining his passions, causing me to revisit the timeless topic. I encourage you to check it out here and see if this helps you think a little more deeply about the things you are passionate about.

Previous articles/stories on the subject of having a passion can be seen at the following:

a. How Having a Passion Can Save Your Life
b. Motivation – Where Does it Come From?
c. Trust in Being Brave – The Merrill Lynch Story
d. Trust that Your Passions Will be Supported by the Universe
e. Passion at Southwest Airlines
f. Entertain the Possibilities – Swimming Championships

Food for thought: What is your passion?

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No matter how many times you’ve taken a chance and went with your instincts, you’re still going to experience some level of “wonderment” (I just made that up), wondering whether the decision you made was going to lead you down the path you envisioned for yourself. Ever been there? Me too.

Many of you are aware of events that led up to opening the manuscript of THAT’S RIGHT STEPHEN! to the readers of Adversity University for feedback. This is the result of a decision I made a week ago or two after a friend introduced me to someone who recently self-published and did a very nice job of it. The outcome of that meeting inspired me to push through my fears and make a firm decision to self-publish, rather than waiting for some literary agent to see the potential of the book.

When I got home after the meeting, I was so pumped up and went out to the balcony to have a cigar to celebrate (I’m always looking for an excuse to light up). I had with me a notebook and pen along with a glass of ice cold water. While I was enjoying the cool summer breeze, contemplating the turn of events, I turned and looked at a large green plastic chair that was propped against the wall on the far right side of the balcony. I was reminded of a silent conversation I once had several weeks earlier, “God, show me that you are watching over me. I would like to see you sit on that chair sometime.”

Suddenly I was visited by the most beautiful blue butterfly. It swung right by me, almost touching my forehead. It startled me at first because I hadn’t seen it come my way. When I realized what it was, I knew I was experiencing a close encounter of the spirit kind!

Intrigued, I watched it for several minutes. It flew around the vicinity of the porch, flying to and from where I was sitting. It seemed to be singing, flying gracefully in a carefree manner. Satisfied that this must be the place where things were happening, it proceeded to land right on that chair! Mesmerized, I stared at it, trying my hardest to lobby forth telepathic thoughts. It responded by flapping its wings.

Then it flew away. Thinking it was gone for good, I went inside and went straight to my computer in the other room. As I was powering it up, the butterfly came right back and landed on the screen of my bedroom window, a mere 2 feet from where I was sitting!

It reminded me of an experience Wayne Dyer once had when he was out for a morning stroll on the beach in Hawaii where he maintains a home. He had an even better story to tell. A butterfly actually landed on the palm of his hand and sat there for several minutes! Wayne somehow managed to take a snapshot of it and put it on the cover of one of his books.

Afraid that the clacking sounds of my keyboard would scare it away, I simply sat there, transfixed at its beauty. Sensing an opportunity to really see what it looked like, I inched closer and saw that it was washing its hands. Gratitude washed over me like a tidal wave. While I wasn’t exactly gushing tears, my eyes got a little wet.

Rubbing my eyes, I realized I had better get going with the work that was ahead. Slowly and tentatively, I pulled up the manuscript and began to work. CLACK, CLACK, CLACK. To my surprise and delight, the noise didn’t bother the butterfly. It seemed to be telling me in a matronly tone of voice, “Please continue on with your work while I wash my hands for supper darling.” For the next twenty minutes, my eyes alternated between the keyboard, the computer screen and the gorgeous blue butterfly. I was in heaven.

While I was working, I was also preoccupied with the arrival of a friend who was due to be stopping by any minute for a brief visit. From where I was sitting, I could see people coming and going, in and out of my apartment building. As soon as I saw him arrive, I got up to buzz him in, thinking the mere act of getting out of my chair would scare it away. It didn’t.

Making my way over to the door, imagine my surprise when I saw out of the corner of my eye the butterfly making a textbook landing on the balcony! Apparently it was not done with me. It must have sensed that I was no longer sitting at my desk and wanted to spend a few more minutes of quality time, making sure I knew this wasn’t some random fluke.

Then it flew out of sight, never to be seen again.

Since that fateful visit, a number of doors began to swing open including the wonderful response I got from the Adversity University community with offers to help with the manuscript among other things including but not limited to an unexpected offer to send the final version to a well known publisher for consideration!

If the visit by the butterfly and the resulting outpouring of assistance from the AU community wasn’t divine confirmation, then I don’t know what it was.

But I do know this:

When you “make up your mind” about something, you set the universe into motion. Forces beyond your ability to comprehend–far more subtle and complex than you could imagine–are engaged in a process, the intricate dynamics of which you are only just now beginning to understand. (“Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh)

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