As you read the story, keep in mind the possibility that everyone involved each had a divine role to play in accordance to a spiritual contract they “signed with one another” prior to incarnating on the planet.  They agreed to appear on the stage of life at a specific time to carry out their respective roles so that healing and spiritual growth could be facilitated.  When seen from a higher cosmic perspective, everything not only happens for a reason but a series of events unfolded exactly as they were supposed to.

Here’s what my dear friend Brandy told me over lunch at our favorite restaurant in town (Revelations):

A woman I know who is in her 80′s was at a family reunion where one of her nephews stood up and shared this story for the very first time.  No one, not even his wife knew about what he was going to tell them.   He is around 40 something now.  When he was a young boy of 13 or 14, he was getting quite good at diving and even had a shot of going to the Olympics.  One day, he was at diving practice at the high school swimming pool when a scouting coach spotted him and approached his parents to tell them that he thought their son had tremendous Olympic potential.  He said that he was in a position to provide him with top level coaching at a much more suitable training facility several miles away.

Since the parents were poor and didn’t have the financial means of providing daily transportation to and from those facilities, the coach offered the opportunity for the boy to come live with him throughout training.  Wanting nothing but the best for their son and excited about the possibility of him competing at the Olympics someday, they gratefully and tearfully accepted his offer and sent their son away to live with the coach.

What no one knew was that the coach had been sexually abusing him during the entire time they were living together (3 – 4 years).  Even though the boy felt so much shame and humiliation, he kept it a secret.   At one point the coach lost his job over sexual allegations but that didn’t seem to mitigate the increasing anger the boy felt inside.   As he grew into adulthood, the hatred he felt toward the coach turned into fiery rage, shame and humiliation, coloring virtually everything in his life.

The nephew tried to put it behind him by getting married and taking up a career unrelated to sports but the underlying rage refused to subside.  In fact, it reached a crescendo, threatening to overtake his sanity and completely ruin his life.   He couldn’t even bring himself to confide in his wife about what happened but he knew if he didn’t do something about it soon, he’d explode.

He decided the only way he could truly put this behind him was to forgive the coach for what he had done.  The burden of shame and guilt was getting to be too much.  It consumed every moment of his life.  The first thing he did after making that decision was to find out where he lived by searching online.  In the meantime, he somehow found out that the coach was actually dying of cancer.  His pulse quickened when he heard that.  He sensed there wasn’t much time left.  There was a sense of urgency.  He had to find him now before it was too late.

He called his wife one day from the office to tell her he was working late.  As soon as the clock struck five, he literally sped over to the coach’s house and rang the doorbell with visibly shaky hands.  A few minutes later, a very surprised but considerably haggard  coach answered the door.  After a few moments of stunned silence the coach finally let him in.   They went into the living room and sat down.

His heart pounding wildly, the nephew took a deep breath and reached for the man’s hands and quietly told the coach, “For years I hated you for sexually abusing me when I was a kid.  I carried around this heavy burden of horrible shame and guilt.  It got to the point where it threatened drive me crazy because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”  There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before the nephew looked into the coach’s eyes and continued, “I just want you to know that I totally forgive you for what you did to me.  What happened happened.  Nothing we can do about it.  It’s time for me to move on with my life.”

Suddenly a dam burst forth from the coach’s tired eyes and he began to sob uncontrollably.  It turns out that he, too, carried around the heavy burden of guilt all these years.  After a few moments, the two embraced and the nephew went home.   On the way back home, he noticed how the dark cloud that hovered over him for so long was now gone.  He felt light years younger.  An involuntary smile formed on his face.  He checked himself in the rear view mirror and saw that he wasn’t imagining things.  He remembered thinking:   “Mission complete.  Now I can go on with my life.”

But the the story doesn’t end there.

A few weeks later the coach died.  Two years later, the nephew received the surprise of a life time in the mail.

It was a letter from the coach not only telling the nephew how much it meant to have been forgiven but that he was bequesting his entire estate to him!  What’s ironic about the ending is that the nephew and his wife had been trying in vain to conceive for many years without success.  Now that he inherited the coach’s estate, they were able to use the money to adopt two beautiful girls who became the light of their lives!

What do you think the moral of this story was?

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I can’t explain it and I’m not going to even try but suddenly I feel inspired to share a new development with you this morning.   Right now my brain is buzzing with pure delight – it’s one of those “high as a kite” kind of things except that it’s all natural.  

As I write, I’m staring out the window, watching glorious sunshine flood the entire valley with delicious rays of light.   Thank you God!

As I prepare to move to Iowa, I’ve been going through my apartment, filling boxes with things I want to keep and throwing out the rest or giving them away to Goodwill.   To my surprise, I’ve been asking myself questions like, “Do I really need to keep this?”

One of many trophies collected over the years

Just the other day, I gathered together a bunch of trophies I won from Toastmaster speaking contests over the years – you know, those cheap, breakable trophies that you can buy online for five bucks.   I went to the walk-in closet and retrieved a couple that were coated with a thick layer of dust and set them along aside the more recent ones from last year (2008).

There they were, all lined up, awaiting their fate.   I wish I had the presence of mind to take a photo of them but the one you see above will have to suffice.   As I surveyed the trophies in front of me, I felt something bubbling to the surface of my consciousness.    The words were unmistakably clear:

“Why do you even need to keep them?  After all, half of them were sitting in the dark closet, collecting dust!  And just who are you trying to impress anyway?  Hardly anyone ever comments on them when they come to visit.”

Startled yet decisive, the executioner in me swiftly grabbed them in one fell swoop and threw them all in the garbage with a flourish.  Boy, the resounding clatter that seemed to vibrate off the walls was exhilarating!

Almost as if in a trance, I marched with a strong sense of purpose back to the walk-in closet and went looking for my next victims.  Within seconds, my eyes fell on a handful of awards I had won while at Merrill Lynch over a decade ago.    Scattered throughout the closet were things like a fancy nameplate, a heavy silver platter that I won in a sales contest, an executive desk blotter and a heavy glass trophy in the shape of a pyramid.

Packing little by little

A smile immediately lined my face.  I knew what I had to do.

One by one, as if collecting a bunch of logs for the fireplace, I cradled them in my arms and threw those in the “garbage box” too.

I know my Mom once told me I never had any problems getting rid of things that were no longer of use to me when I was a kid, but gosh, all those trophies and awards?  I could just feel my ego trying mightily to hold onto them.

Now they are GONE, just like that (POOF)!

What do you think is happening here?  I have a few theories but just for the fun of it, I’m going to leave this open-ended and invite you to join in on the conversation.

WAIT!  WAIT!  WAIT!

Before you do that, I can’t resist letting you in a secret conversation I had with a dear friend that might, just might, explain away my latest behavior.

To paraphrase her, she said, “Stephen, for the longest time your identity has been firmly rooted in your past accomplishments.”

“How do you know that?” I asked, slightly taken aback.

“Well, almost every time,” she continued, “when you write an introductory email to strangers, you manage to slip in there somewhere that you are a “former award winning stockbroker, blah, blah, blah.”

I tried to smile but all I could manage was to punctuate the silence with ugly sounds of fake coughing.

Sensing my discomfort, she went on, “Honey, not to dismiss those awesome accomplishments because they are truly astounding, but Stephen, those things are not who you are.”

Her timeless words simply hung in the air.  I stared at her, my unblinking eyes trying to decipher the power of what she just said.

Repositioning myself in the lawn chair, (we were hanging out at a park on a beautiful sunny afternoon), I managed to blurt out a response, “Damn, you are right – that makes a whole lot of sense!  Thank you!”

Jenni got me thinking.   Anyone who goes through my archives here at Adversity University will notice that I have frequently mentioned past achievements when trying to make a point.   What a revelation!

Was it because I was really trying to make a point?  Or was it because subconsciously I was reminding myself and others of the things I’ve done so that I could continue to validate my self-worth while stroking my alter ego?  Perhaps.   Was it another way to sublimely promote myself as a motivational speaker?  Once again, perhaps?

Who knows?

But right now two things have become very clear to me:

1.  WHO REALLY CARES?

2.  YOUR PAST ACHIEVEMENTS ARE NOT WHO YOU ARE.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Of course, I’m very proud of my achievements (and so are my parents who thought I’d never one day fly an airplane).  And you should be too, especially if you had to overcome a lot to get there.

But the question still remains, do they represent the inner essence of who we really are?

What I’m quickly grasping here is that we are raised in society to extol our accomplishments because that’s what’s expected of us.  If we want more of something, we better present our “credentials.”   As convention thinking goes, you “need” a fabulous story lined up if you want more money, get on Oprah, receive better recognition, or land bigger business deals, to name a few.

But do we really need to do all of that?

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The reason I’m asking is because shortly after I wrote the article a few days ago about asking for help with regards to my quest for higher education, I received an email from a very good friend who has been my mentor for several years.  Here’s what he said:

I don’t think it is a good idea to be soliciting funds to go to college in your 40′s when it is not a life threatening necessity…….

Now think about that for a moment.  What was your perception of what he wrote?

At first I was taken aback because this is a man I deeply admire and respect.   I was writing from the heart with good intentions and walking the “Ask and You Shall Receive” talk when I wrote the article.  In fact, I felt good about it so I went and published it.

When I first read his response, my immediate reaction was, “He thinks I’m a failure because I shouldn’t be asking for college funds in my 40′s.”   But then when I read the rest of his email (“not life threatening necessity”), I had an “OMG” epiphany.

He was trying to tell me that unlike many people in America, I am not in a life threatening situation where I’m struggling to put food on the table or about to lose my home.

My mentor is no nonsense kind of guy who has been around the block and then some.  The ironic thing was when I put out that article (Update:  Request for Help, An Experiment), I had a funny feeling he might have something to say about it.

But here’s what was going through my mind when I wrote it:

1. “If you worry about what everybody thinks, you’ll never get anything done.  You’ll never brave the potential criticism (whether constructive or negative) by asking for help.   It’ll weigh you down every time.  In fact, it’ll paralyze you.”

2.  “There is nothing inherently wrong with asking for help because if you ask, that’s how others know what you are looking for.  It opens the way for universal possibilities to emerge.  The universe will bring to you what you request on some level because you asked for it.”

3.  And finally, “there’s never a wrong time to ask for help. ”

Despite my heartfelt intentions, I might have been a little off with # 3.   I’m a lot like my favorite spiritual blogger (Slade Roberson) who wrote in a recent article two things I can relate to.   (Note:  The second quote was paraphrased where I took out some words):

I like to push.  I like to make things happen.  I like forward motion, even when it feels reckless, dangerous…..at least it feels alive…….

For me, the greatest challenge…..is finding a reasonable middle ground between everyday reality and the mystical  – - between addressing the panic and pessimism that many people genuinely feel and wearing some crazy happy face mask of Magically Delicious News you can’t relate to.

Like my mom said to me on the phone recently, there are so many people out there who have not only lost their jobs but are collecting unemployment.  Many are worried about the future.  Thousands have been laid off.    The news just came out the other day saying that unemployment is at its highest ever – maybe since the Great Depression.  (Chart:  greatcreation)

Like it or not, that’s what’s happening in America right now.

You see, I no longer watch the news or read the paper because it’s full of negative stuff.   We have so much negative news circulating that it’s detrimental to my health to let it seep into my psyche.  That’s why I cut cable TV and canceled my  newspaper subscription a long time ago.    I made a decision that I was no longer going to allow negative energy to permeate my way of being.   I’d much rather read inspirational books or blogs and watch uplifting movies and documentaries.

This is not to say that I have been out of touch because certainly I get my news online these days but I now recognize that perhaps I was not seeing the big picture at the time of the above mentioned article.

Here’s what I learned today…….next time I want to put myself out like this, I should probably bounce it off a few trusted people, get their input and then make a final decision.    Isn’t that what mentors are for?

It is still my dream to find a way to fund my higher education and I continue to believe that despite the economy, I will go back to college in some way, form or shape.   Through God, nothing is impossible.  Wasn’t it this the attitude that helped me become the world’s first deaf instrument rated pilot back in 2006?  Wasn’t that how I became successful on Wall Street during the 80′s and 90′s plus many other achievements?

If you don’t already have a mentor, then get yourself one.    Find someone who’s been around the block – he or she could very well save you from veering off path.   While it’s great to be fearless and “put yourself out there,” there are things experienced mentors can talk to you about.   While they support your dreams, they also care enough about you to smack you awake from time to time, no matter how much it might hurt your feelings.

In closing, let me thank all of you at Adversity University for your moral support and for sticking with me.   As for my mentor, you know who you are.   Thanks!

I am exceedingly grateful to have a solid community of people like you following me here.   If you’ve been with me for a long time, you know things have changed around here.  what initially drew you to me here (my inspirational stories) have changed to weekly gratitude posts, interviews and occasional experiments like the raw food diet experiment.   Despite the changes, while not everybody leaves comments, I know you’re here with me in spirit and I truly appreciate and acknowledge that.  I think you understand I’m in transition like one long time subscriber said to me in an email.

Perhaps you are confused about where I am going or what I want.  That’s okay.  Just know that I will continue to explore my inner divinity and share with you what I can going forward.  I still care about making a difference and that includes going back to school, speaking and writing.   Like millions of people, I am experiencing a transition, still trying to learn more about my divine purpose.   And so I’m saying, “Thanks for hanging with me.”

In fact, I love you!  Yes, I do.  There I said it.  Was I off the mark with that too? 

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I received the perfect inspiration to write my very first article of 2009 (the interviews don’t count) after writing an email to a friend of mine today about her own happiness.   (Photo Credit:  briguy_89)

I’m extremely thankful I feel inspired to write again!   I knew this would happen – Whoohoooo!

By the way, my first gratitude post of 2009 is also coming.  That’s taking much more time to create because not only do I have to organize a good handful pictures that I want to use but I also have much to say in gratitude.   So stay tuned!

I recently received an email from a friend wrote in part, “So I figure that I can just put aside my own happiness and make sure everyone else is taken care of…..”

That got me going.  I immediately wrote back.

Happiness is a state of mind.  To make your life beautiful, you need to feel happiness inside.  So, no, DON’T put aside your happiness in favor of taking care of other people.   I know it sounds selfish but we are a nation of people pleasers where we constantly do what others want us to do in order to make THEM happy.   How crazy is that?

My take on it is to do what makes YOU happy FIRST and then if people want to adjust, accept or reject you, that’s their business.   Our job is to take care of ourselves.   Yes, you have to balance it out and compromise along the way, of course.  But if you consistently go out of your way to make others happy,  allowing your wants and desires to fall by the wayside, guess what will happen?

You’ll experience a range of emotions from depression, sadness, anger, resentment or bitterness.  And the funny thing is you’re the one that put yourself in that position!   It has nothing to do with the other person.  All the other person did was to say what he/she wants and you went along with it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that myself.  I always know when my inner self is out of alignment when I agree to go along with whatever the other person wants just to make him/her happy.  It never feels good.    In fact, it feels as if I’m stuffing down too much food and than not feeling good afterward.

I can think of many examples like the son or daughter who follows a career path that Mom and Dad set before them.   The son wants to be a musician but Daddy demands that he go to law school and join the family business.   That sort of thing.

You know I started the raw food diet back in September of 2008.   This change of lifestyle made one friend in particular very uncomfortable and she chose to back away in order to “protect herself.”   After talking with her in earnest, I realized I had to let her go because I wasn’t going to go back to eating the way I used to just because it would make her happy.    After all, it’s my body, not hers!

I’ve learned that when you make choices benefiting your well being and others cannot accept it, well then that’s their choice.  Sometimes this means it’s time for you to move on, other times they’ll come around.    It’s like the alcoholic who stops drinking and makes the decision not to hang around other boozers because otherwise he’d slide backwards.

So don’t you dare put aside your happiness!  Take care of yourself, focus on your well being in every way possible – financial, spiritual, emotional, physical, etc.   And then everything else will fall into place.

Look at it this way.  If you are happy, genuinely happy, content and at peace, you’ll be more fun to be around and you’ll be radiating inner peace, love and happiness, all of which in turn will attract people of the same mindset.

On the other hand, if you neglect yourself and almost always go out of your way to make others people happy at your expense, then you’ll end up watching the rapid decline of your own health and well being.

Here’s another analogy.  It’s like the mother who works constantly 24/7 taking care of her kids and husband but forgets to take time out for herself.   At first she doesn’t mind but then she becomes crabby and unhappy.   Who wants to be around someone like that?   Either people start steering clear of her or she’ll attract similiar people, perhaps other unhappy mothers (remember misery loves company!).

This is where putting your foot down, asking people to pay you for services rendered and establishing boundaries comes in all of which will contribute to your own inner happiness.   What’s not to like about that?

Food for thought:  Have you ever found yourself in a position where you were forgetting about yourself and focusing on making everyone else happy?

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What’s the point of life if you aren’t willing to play and take chances like making last minute, seemingly irrational decisions and fly off somewhere because your intuition told you to do so?

I just got back from spending an incredible week in London and I’m about to tell you all about it.   London was a place I had never before been to and is a place I know I will be visiting more and more frequently in the future.  Heck, I might even move there!   No, I’m not kidding.

As I sit here at 4:45 am writing this post (9:45 am London time), I am drinking my first green smoothie in a week (blended 2 fistfuls of kale, one peeled banana, 8 oz. water, fistful of frozen berries and 1 whole sliced apple – kale has a strong, bitter taste for the early raw foodist so throwing in berries and an apple made it sweeter).

While driving myself home from the airport yesterday, I found myself marveling at how everything fell into place so incredibly easily and effortlessly.    That can only lead me to believe this trip was divinely ordained.   How could it not be?

This is going to be one very long post with a some pictures so please sit back with your favorite cup of tea or coffee and enjoy!  I’m going to take you through the entire process, from the moment the idea was conceived to the very end.   Perhaps while you’re reading, you’ll gain some insights for your own life.   At the very least, you’ll vicariously experience London through this post.

The whole thing started a week before my October 29/30th Frito-Lay speaking engagement in Dallas.  One day, I was driving around town, running a bunch of local errands when I was suddenly hit with this thought:   It’s time to go to London.

Whoa, where did that come from?

Actually, to be honest with you, I had been in communications with a guy named Matt Monarch,  a well known raw foodist living in London with his girlfriend, Angela Stokes (also a raw foodist with an inspiring weight loss story of her own).   I had ordered some books from him at Raw Food World after which he sent a personalized reply thanking me for the order.   That impressed me and soon we were emailing back and forth.

As I was out running errands that one day, I was thinking about my conversations with Matt when the idea to go to London took hold.   It seemed irrational, coming out of nowhere yet it felt “right.”   At first I thought it was because of my correspondences with Matt but the more I thought about it, the more I realized God was reminding me to visit someone I knew more personally who also lived in London.

His name is Mike, who I had hosted while he was here visiting the states for a week twelve years ago.  His parting words were, “Whenever you want to come to London, come and stay with me, okay?”

While Matt was generous enough to let me stay with him and Angela the entire week, I felt much more comfortable crashing at Mike’s place since I knew him better.   So I contacted him and said I was hoping to come to London the first week of November and wanted to know if he was free.   That’s when the first of several so called “coincidences” began to show up.

His reply literally made me fall off my chair.   “Guess what?” he said.  “I’m off work that week – come on over – you can stay with me as long as you like!”

Arrangements were immediately made to book myself a flight to and from London but because it was so close to the desired departure date, available seats were priced astronomically high (between $1,000 – $4,000 for economy seats!).

A full day of searching online ended in frustration on a Saturday (about 1 week before the departure date).   The following Sunday morning, I decided I would give it another try and look once more.   If I found a flight for a reasonable round trip airfare, I’d book it, even if it meant driving to Detroit (or some other central hub) to catch myself a plane.

Boarding Passes from Detroit to Paris to London on Air France (partners with Northwest Airlines)

The second of many blessings came when I finally found a seat on Air France for $765 RT.   Even though I’d have to drive 3 hours to the airport and then fly to Paris for a 5 hour layover, I booked it on the spot.   I knew a good deal when I saw one.  I also couldn’t believe I was doing this at the last minute.

Whooo – what exhilaration!

As soon as I booked and confirmed everything, I realized that because the outgoing flight on Air France wasn’t going to be until later in the evening on Sunday (November 2nd), that would give me time to reconnect with old friends.

While I have many friends in Michigan, I was only able to visit with just 3 of them due to severe time constraints and the fact that they lived relatively close to Detroit Metro airport.

I packed only two bags for the trip.   One thing I’ve learned over the years was not to over pack regardless of where I was going.    That’s because I want to avoid checking my luggage, preferring instead to stow them in overhead bins.  That way I reduce the chances of  my luggage getting lost along the way, especially if there was a connecting flight involved.   The only thing I needed to remember was to pack enough warm clothes as London was reportedly cold, damp and windy at this time of the year.    It turned out that I packed rather well because I had all the warm clothes I needed!

On the day of departure, I met with 3 friends in quick succession.  The first was an old pilot friend, Jason and his wife.   He and I used to fly together when we were working at Troy Oakland airport in early 2000.   The second was my good friends John and Michael who have been partners for 12 years living in Royal Oak.  They provided a nice lunch including a ham and cheese sandwich, the first of its kind since beginning my raw food journey in September 2008.   The third was Jim, who I had befriended through a church I was attending while living in Michigan.    It was awesome to see them all.

Since I had to be at the airport at least 3 hours before departure, I had to cut my last visit with Jim short and head straight for the airport.    Finding parking, going through the check-in and security procedures all went smoothly, representing yet another series of “easy and effortless” events that would continue to unfold throughout the rest of the trip.

Flying on Air France to Paris was a hoot.  The plane was booked solid – just about every seat in the economy section was filled.   It was the first time I had seen movie screens on the back of the seats so that was fun to play with.   Although my aisle seat was comfortable and my neighbor was thankfully not a screaming child or someone proportionally out of shape, I could not manage to sleep on the red eye flight.    We departed just before 7 pm and landed in Paris 7 hours later, the next day.   Even though I was wired, I was very tired.

Paris Airport

After landing in Paris, I was surprised I had to go through yet another screening process even though I had just gotten off a flight and never left the building.   I went through it without a problem except when a Paris custom official asked me if I had any liquids inside my luggage.  Due to his accent, I misunderstood him and said that I didn’t.   He asked me to step aside and that’s when the question was repeated.   Suddenly, I understood he was probably talking about the “bathroom bag” where I had stored things like toothpaste, a small bottle of eyeglass cleaner, mouthwash, soap, etc.   The grim faced official said to make sure I took that bag out every time I went through the screening process.   With a weary smile, I said, ‘Yes, sir, thanks.”

Tired but wired and roaming around the Paris Intl Terminal

Then it was 5 hours of roaming around the  Paris terminal, waiting for the next flight to London.  Thankfully I brought with me gogi berries (a raw food superfood – they look like red raisins), cacao beans (raw chocolate, bitter tasting but great when combined with gogi berries), a few bananas, an apple and a bag of Kashi granola cereal.  That kept my stomach happy for a while!

Since one of my pieces of luggage had wheels on it, I was able to glide about the terminal, killing 5 hours of time.    Even though I was dead tired, my eyes were wide awake, absorbing the sights, sounds and smells of the Paris terminal.    Watching people in an airport is a quite a bit of fun because you learn so much just by observing people making their way to countless destinations.

Welcome to Heathrow!

Finally, it was time to board the flight to London for the last leg.  The flight was only an hour.  My London host, Mike, greeted me outside customs with a hastily made signage he made while waiting.  A paper plate was taped to some sort of stick (I think it was a pen or something) with my  name “Stephen Hopson” on it.   I thought it was the cutest thing anyone had ever done for me.  It was funny to see him waiving it like a limo driver trying to catch someone’s attention.   The moment I saw Mike, my bleary eyes gave way to rivers of tears, relieved to see a familiar face in a foreign land.

I had finally made it to London!

That’s when the adventures began.  After snapping a photo of me by the Heathrow sign, we entered the tube (which means subway in America) for the first time in my life.

Mike, my host in London, in the tube on the way to his flat. (Doesn't he look like someone born and raised in London?

Riding the tube instantly brought back memories of when I was living in New York City.   What fascinated me was how the people dressed themselves.   Most of them were stylishly dressed with scarfs wrapped around their necks, long/short black overcoats and sneakers (or black boots), etc.

The ride in the tube took about an hour to Mike’s flat (apartment).   Coming out onto the streets was an event in of itself.   A ton of people were rushing around often with worry and anxiety written all over their faces.    Even Mike walked fast – I practically had to run to keep up with him!

One thing I learned very quickly was to look the other way when crossing the streets because the flow of traffic was the reverse of America’s.   Instead of looking to your left and then right when crossing, I had to remember to do the opposite.  I had a couple of tantalizing close calls because I looked in the wrong direction.  Crossing the streets of London is definitely a hazard for the first time visitor!

Front Entrance to Mike's flat

Mike’s flat was nestled among similar-looking buildings that lined the street, very much what I imagined it’d be from watching all those James Bond movies.   Stepping inside, I was greeted with two cute little dogs that took to a liking to me within an  hour.   This was the flat I would call home for the next week.

As you can imagine, I slept soundly that night.  My bed was a large, comfortable couch.    Despite the 5 hour difference, my body adjusted rather well.   Believe it or not, I suffered no jet lag.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I did feel a little sleepy at times throughout the early days but otherwise felt great.  Not once did I want to take a nap and “catch up.”

First green smoothie in London (spinach, apple, banana, water, orange, tomato, ice, etc.)

The following morning I had my first green smoothie, using Mike’s blender.   Mike took an immediate interest in my raw food journey and we went shopping for fruits and vegetables my first night there.

The following morning I showed him how to make a green smoothie.   Unfortunately, his blender took a turn for the worst and burned out two days later because it couldn’t handle the load we were putting in it.  We managed to make green smoothies on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings before it petered out.  Mike is now looking into getting the UK version of the Vita-Mix blender.

We hit the ground running with Mike serving as my gracious host, taking me all over Central London for a week of sightseeing.

Buckingham Palace - what a sight!

I’m telling you, it was absolutely awesome to finally see the Buckingham Palace with my own eyes, watch a parade of colorfully decorated horses and their riders pass by and visit several famous landmarks including bridges, buildings and surviving castles.

We ate lunch/dinner at a handful of British restaurants and pubs and met with some of his friends.  We also got a private bus tour of the site of the 2012 Olympics.  As you can imagine, security was extremely tight – we were not allowed to walk around – we had to stay in the van the entire time.

Every single day we were out hitting the pavement so much that I hardly needed to workout even though I was prepared to do just that.   Now that I’m back to America, I plan to hit the gym beginning tomorrow (Thursday) after my mind gets acclimated to the 5 hour time difference.

You remember earlier when I said this trip to London was first precipitated by a conversation I had with Matt Monarch, the raw foodist living in the UK?    Well, even though I decided not to stay with them the whole week, we did make plans for me to meet them on Thursday night.   That required a 20 minute journey on the underground tube followed by a one hour train ride to Brighton.  By that point, I had thoroughly traveled throughout most of Central London with Mike showing me the way that I felt comfortable going out on my own, giving him a well deserved night alone at his flat.

Except for missing a turn (I walked from the Brighton train station to their house at night), I eventually found my way to the correct residence.  Meeting both Matt and Angela was an interesting experience after reading much about them.

Matt was an in-shape MTV hotshot who ate the typical Standard American Diet (SAD) consisting mostly of fast food and other junk.   He went raw 100 percent overnight (not something that is generally recommended but that’s his story) while Angela, on the other hand, lost half of her body weight on raw food (lost 160 pounds).   While Matt went raw overnight, she went raw gradually.

Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes in Brighton, UK

One thing I noticed about them was how their eyes and faces glowed.    They were the first 100 percent raw foodists I had ever met – it was hard not to notice that about them.     Both were gracious to spend quality time with me, catching up on things in our lives, including the latest in the raw food world.

At one point, Matt invited me to do an exercise with him which turned into a life transforming experience.  Facing each other on the couch, he instructed me to stare at his eyes for the longest possible time without talking.

So there we were, staring into each other’s eyes for what seemed like 20, maybe 30 minutes.   Then something freaky began to happen, making the hair on my neck stand straight up.

Matt’s face began to take on the image of someone else entirely.   I was like Holy Moley!  His eyes became darker while the rest of his face metamorphosed into the face of a very old Indian man!!!    It was both scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Matt broke the silence by asking what I had just seen.   After describing the Indian image, it was his turn to tell me what he had seen while looking into my eyes.   He had seen different colors around my head, including green, yellow, orange and I think red.    I’m not sure what, if anything, those colors meant but it was interesting nonetheless.   Several years ago I had done a similiar exercise during a Landmark Education course in New York City.   The purpose was to allow ourselves to express unconditional love for the person whose eyes I was looking into.   It was like looking into that person’s soul.

The London Tube (subway) system

I slept on the couch and left to go back to Mike’s flat the following morning.  I felt like a regular “Londoner,” expertly navigating my way around the tube system.  Of course, it helps that I used to work and live in New York City (16 years) with a subway system of their own.

Friday night Mike and I went to a party at a local pub where I had a chance to meet more of his friends.  It was like an International gathering of sorts because I wasn’t the only foreigner there that evening.  Many of them were not originally born and raised in London.   One of the people I became instant friends with was Dani, a teacher for the deaf in London, who was born and raised in South Africa.    I never felt so warmly embraced and welcomed the way I was that night!

Posing with the British Cops after the workshop.

Before I forget to tell you, Mike and I were offered an opportunity to participate in a workshop that David, one of his friends, was doing for the British police force.   David (far left in the photo), asked us if we’d be willing to role play with the British cops in a couple of exercises, the purpose of which was to raise awareness among the cops on how different deaf people communicate.

Mike was invited because he’s a profoundly deaf British man whose communication is at a different level from mine.  I was used because I was from America using an altogether different way of communication (mostly oral, using my voice).

To maintain the surprise, David instructed me to remain silent throughout the workshop until it was time to do my part.  He didn’t want the cops to know how well I spoke until it was my turn to role play.   You should have seen the surprise register on their faces – it was a hoot!

At the end of the workshop, I engaged in a terrific conversation with a young, pretty African American British detective (far right side in the first row) who role played with me earlier.  I learned that some members of her families were living in Brooklyn, New York and that it was her desire to join them with a new career in forensic science.    Let’s send her silent blessings, shall we?

By the way, while we were waiting to go inside the police building for that workshop, Mike and I hung out by the gates, waiting for David to meet us.   Unbeknownst to us, while we were waiting for him, we were also being watched by the British police from inside the headquarters.  Apparently someone (perhaps the Inspector?) alerted a couple of deputies that two “suspicious looking” men were languishing outside the gates and gesturing to one another (possibly two terrorists sending signals to one another?  Whoohoo!!).

Shortly before one pm, two plainclothes policemen approached us with a smile and told us not to be alarmed but asked for our ID’s.   It took a full moment to register what was happening.   Both Mike and I told them that we were deaf and that we were waiting for David to retrieve us for lunch before going inside the building for a workshop.

Just as I pulled out my passport, David came sauntering through the security gates, completely unaware of what was happening.  I immediately told the questioning policeman that the man we were waiting for had just walked out to get us for lunch.   It was a good thing I had my passport on me because I had actually considered leaving it back at Mike’s flat before changing my mind.  I remember thinking, “You never know.”

After the cops realized we were harmless, we all shook hands and went separate ways, us to lunch and them back inside the police building.   Even though I was calm throughout the process, I did feel slight aftershock tremors.   What an experience, let me tell you!

After lunch, the three of us returned to the police headquarters and signed in at the security desk.  Just as I signed my name on the guest log, guess who came bounding down the stairs?

The cop who had earlier questioned me!

And take a wild guess at what his name was.  Just one guess.

That’s right, it was Stephen!

Go figure.

All in all, it was a fabulous trip and I know I’ll be visiting London again very soon.   It was a most amazing experience and goes to show that you don’t have to plan everything to the last detail for a trip.   Somehow I brought the right clothes and had the right amount of money on me (British currency).  Except for the few near misses while crossing the streets, things could not have gone better.

If you’re interested in seeing the rest of the photos, you can find them over at my Facebook profile.  Simply look for the London 2008 albums (there are two of them).

Let me leave you with 10 observations I made while in London:

1. It was a challenge to maintain my raw food lifestyle so I had to adapt and did the best I could – I would say 50 percent of my food intake was raw food while the rest was cooked.   I made sure I did not beat myself up for that.  The key was to be as selective as possible under the circumstances and be okay with whatever choices I made.

2. The weather over there would not be suitable for those who get depressed easily – the entire time I was there, the sun only came out once or maybe twice.  It was overcast with intermittent rain, not to mention cold and damp.  But I did not mind at all.   I don’t even think that would bother me if I were to live there.

3. London people seem to lead a fast-paced life, similar to those in New York City.    Many of their faces appeared creased with frantic worry and hurry.   Everyone, even my host, Mike, was a fast walker.

4. The flats reminded me a lot of the apartments in New York City because they were tightly packed and wedged between buildings of all sizes.  Many of them have exceedingly small square footages.   Real estate prices were somewhat comparable to those in New York.

5. The streets were “curvy” – as they turned every which way, quite unlike those straight vertical and horizontal lines in New York.  Drivers sit in the right seat and drive their vehicles on the left side of the road (versus sitting in the left seat and driving on the left side of the road).  This took getting used to.

6. The dollar has been significantly weak against the British pound for quite some time so price-wise, I was at a disadvantage when paying for something because it was the equivalent of almost double in American money.  For example, if something cost me ten pounds, that meant twenty dollars.  I found myself subconsciously converting everything into American dollars every time I went to pay for something!

7. The British certainly know how to dress stylishly.  They have a distinctive look about them, making it easier to separate them from the tourists.    Although I think I blended in rather nicely (jeans, sneakers and a hooded sweatshirt), you could probably tell that I was an American (the camera hoisted on my belt was a dead giveaway).

8. Keeping track of what was what with British money was a huge challenge for it took me time to recognize the different sizes and shapes of the British coins.    It was hard to tell the difference between one pound coins and 50 pence (think pennies).  You would think the pound coin would be significantly larger than the 50 pence coin (since it’s more in value) but the opposite was true.  The 50 pence was larger than the one or two pound coins!

9. The British have different words to describe things like apartment (flat), subway (tube), check (bill) and gas (petrol).  These are the ones I remember at the moment but there were a lot more.

10. And finally, I would like to say without giving too many details that the end result of this trip has not only generated a load of new friends from around the world but it also created the possibility of a new business partnership.   More on that when things fall into place.   But before we go, let’s revisit the title of this blog post:

How Making an Irrational, Last Minute Decision Can Change Your Life

Did you think I did the title justice today?  You tell me!

Food for thought:  Taking risks and doing something as daring as making an unscheduled, last-minute trip can be quite exhilarating.

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Everyone I heard back from was in favor of it.   Some people said if I were to start a new blog specifically devoted to the raw food lifestyle, they’d become active subscribers.

Other people like Rhonda James said, “I think whether people want to admit it or not, they are constantly thinking about weight and health.  Slowly but surely everything you report about will start to “sink in” and you will be helping to change a lot of lives.”

Even though this blog appears to be about overcoming adversity because of the title, it is a personal development site covering a wide range of topics including health-related issues.

Think about it for a second – if we aren’t taking care of our bodies with the food we eat, what will happen?  We’ll get sick.  What happens when we get really sick (cancer, diabetics, etc.)?  We have to see the doctor or go to the hospital for treatment.  Think of my raw food journey as “preventive medicine.”

So while I am still thinking about creating a separate raw food blog, I am committed to sharing snippets of what I’ve learned right here at Adversity University for the time being.

You already know that 30 days after I started eating primarily fruits and vegetables, I lost an additional 10 lbs and trimmed another 2.5 inches off “belly to belly” measurements.

You also know from last week’s gratitude post that I’ve been feeling a sense of inner calm along with improved financial, emotional, physical and spiritual well being.

David Wolfe in his book “The Sunfood Diet Success System” was right when he said improvements in the way you eat tend to spread to other areas of your life because when you’re operating with higher energy, a sense of calm and a disciplined mind, you’re also developing better habits, making well informed decisions, improving interpersonal skills and aligning yourself with the Divine, among other things.

When I first started this journey in September 2008, I came in with virtually no knowledge other than what I heard in terms of extraordinary health benefits.   Most of my assumptions about the raw food lifestyle were, to my surprise, incorrect.

The first book I picked up (“The Raw Detox Diet” by Natalia Rose) cleared up many of the myths for me.   Even though it was specifically written for women, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy regardless of your gender.

Okay, let’s start by shattering commonly myths surrounding the raw food lifestyle:

Myth #1 – Raw Food is BORING!!!

The raw food eating lifestyle is boring because you’re constantly eating plain celery sticks, carrots or unappetizing green leafy vegetables like the way gorillas do.

NOT SO!

There is an incredible array of fruits and vegetables out there, many of which I’ve never heard of before.  The more I educate myself, the more I become aware of funny-sounding fruits and vegetables.  In fact, there are so many of them that it’d take several lifetimes to try every single one of them!

You can get creative and learn how to mix and match, create appetizing (and easy to create) dishes that will dazzle even the worst doubters.

While I’m certainly no raw food chef, I am making myself delicious, easy and appetizing meals like slathering raw almond butter on my celery sticks, making green smoothies for breakfast and creating an avocado/cherry tomato sandwich for lunch.    Nothing sophisticated but they’re all easy (and quick) to make!

As far as the green smoothie is concerned, it takes very little time to prepare.   All you need is a good blender, throw in spinach leafs, a peeled orange, 8 oz of water, a peeled mango, frozen strawberries and you’re in business!  You can try different ingredients in the blender.    The more variety, the more fun!

Myth #2 – I’ll always be HUNGRY

Not if you eat every three hours (which is what we’re supposed to be doing anyway).   This is not about denying yourself anything.  Note:  There is fasting but that’s another whole subject for another article.  (Photo:  JeffreyWiden)

Without getting too technical, eating every three hours not only prevents hanger pangs from attacking you, but you it also keeps your metabolism running around the clock.  Believe it or not, this can actually help you lose weight.

Eating as consistently as possible (every 3 or 4 hours) also keeps your blood sugar levels stable (instead of the energy spiking and crashing).

Myth # 3 – I’ll be severely lacking protein, calcium, etc.

When I make my morning smoothie, not only do I get my protein, calcium and vitamins but I am also getting countless minerals, many of which have properties scientists are still trying to identify!

The key is to arm yourself with knowledge and then go forth and conquer the supermarkets!

Myth # 3 – Going Raw Will Prevent Me From Interacting in the Social World

Unless you’re a hermit, it’s impossible to not to go out in the world.  As a professional speaker, I travel, which means I can’t always make my green smoothies in the mornings or prepare my favorite raw dish.

So what do I do?

I adapt.

When I go out with friends to a restaurant, instead of just ordering “any ole thing,” I now look for the “healthiest” items on the menu and order them even if they’re not 100 percent raw.

Let’s say everyone in your group wants to go to McDonald’s for lunch – not exactly the healthiest of places but you can still order one of their salads and bring your own dressing.    See what I mean?

It just takes a little planning, that’s all.    If you’re going to a dinner party, you could always prepare your favorite raw dish and bring that along.   I stay in hotels throughout the year.   Your server can be asked to bring you a plate of fresh fruit or a melon for breakfast, etc.

Myth # 4 – Buying Fruits and Vegetables is EXPENSIVE

Not to bury my head in the stand on this one but while the total grocery bill may, in fact, be higher than your normal grocery bill, think of the long term ramifications.  (Photo:  Lab2112)

Think of how much you could potentially save on medical expenses if you kept eating the way most Americans do (i.e. fast food, meat, pasteurized dairy products, etc).

Personal development is very much part of the raw food journey because not only are you enhancing your state of being and getting healthier but you’re also telling yourself that you are WORTH the extra expense.

For instance, buying organic bananas versus regular bananas will cost you more money but aren’t you worth eating something that hasn’t been treated with chemicals and pesticides?

Myth # 5 – If I go Raw, I must go 100 Percent Raw!

While there are many people who have committed themselves to eating 100% raw fruits and vegetables, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to as well.

Really, it’s totally up to you how you go about doing this.  If you love chicken or beef and you still want to eat them, by golly, who’s going to stop you?  In fact, Natalina Rose (“The Raw Detox Diet”) and even  former talk show host Montel Williams said in his book “Living Well, 21 Days to Transform Your Life, Supercharge Your Health and Feel Spectacular” that you do not and should not go 100 percent raw overnight.

Why are they saying this?

Because this journey is about YOU listening to YOUR body and making appropriate decisions at a pace you are comforable with.

I remember Montel telling his readers that every once in a while he’ll crave a hamburger from his favorite joint.  He goes for it and doesn’t feel guilty but he’s just careful not to make that a habit.

Natalina recommends that you ease yourself into the raw food routine and take your time with it.   The key is to go slow, give your body a chance to adjust (especially if you’ve led unhealthy eating habits throughout most of your life).   On the other hand, if you’ve maintained a relatively healthy diet over the years, you might be able to start with a higher portion of your diet in fruits and vegetables.

Natalia has a great chapter in her book to help you determine your personal “raw food transition number.”   In this chapter, she has 15 questions for you based on previous eating habits.  Then she gives hints on how to make the transition to raw food based on your score.  I found her little quiz very helpful and I think you will too.

As you gradually detoxify your body, you might end up wanting to increase your intake of fruits and vegetables to a higher percentage but that, of course, would be totally up to you.

Myth # 6 – I’ll Have to Count Calories, Carbs and Fat Grams, Which I HATE!

The beauty of this way of eating is that you NEVER have to worry about counting calories and other stuff again!  Instead of how many calories you are consuming, you’re now asking yourself a totally different question: Can my body break this down?

(Photo:  Charm and Poise)

If you had on one hand an avocado (which has 400 calories and 14 grams of fat) and a Power Bar on the other (which has 200 calories and 2 grams of fat), which one do you think most people would choose?

If you said the Power Bar, you were right.

According to Natalia, your body processes these two things very differently.  With the Power Bar, the body sees that and thinks, “that’s loaded with sugar and chemicals which I can’t break down.  This causes me to store fat and gain weight.”

On the other hand, your body sees the avocado and says, “I know exactly what to do with you.  I can break you down completely!”

Over a month ago, I would have chosen the Power Bar over the avocado because I would have erroneously made my decision on the wrong information.

Myth #7 – I’ll NEVER Have to Exercise AGAIN!

Not in my experience.  Certainly if you never exercised and ate nothing by raw fruit and vegetables, it’s plausible that you’d lose weight and/or improve your skin tone.  But I didn’t lose 4.5 inches around the waist over the summer by sitting on the couch!

I believe strongly that vigorous exercise goes hand in hand with any kind of diet.  As for myself, I go to the gym at least 5 times a week.  Most experts say 3 times a week is sufficient.

I usually start off with a cardiovascular workout (i.e. treadmill) for 30 minutes followed by weight training.  The results speak for themselves.

Myth #8 – Eating Raw Means I’ll Have to Buy Expensive Equipment

While I did buy myself a top of the line blender (Vita-Mix), if you can’t afford one, there’s no reason why you can’t start off with what you already have in your kitchen.

As you progress further and  become serious about turning this into a new lifestyle for yourself, you will probably want to upgrade to better equipment like the Vita-Mix blender.

In other words, you don’t necessarily have to rush out and buy high-end equipment.   While I did go out and buy a Vita-Mix blender (about $500),  I still haven’t bought a juicer or dehydrator and I don’t plan to for some time.

More on this in a future article.

Myth # 9 – I’ll NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT CHEESE AGAIN!!

For those who don’t know me, I LOVE cheese.  If I could, I would eat a whole slab of cheese for lunch AND dinner for the rest of my life if I knew it wouldn’t clog my arteries and give me a fatal heart attack!

Believe it or not, I am STILL eating cheese but it’s of the raw/unpasteurized kind.   Have you ever tried raw cheddar cheese?   Tastes just like the pasteurized version!  Unbelievable!

There are more myths but these are good enough for now.  They are based on my personal experience.

Until next time, have a great beginning of the week!

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I never know where I’ll get the inspiration to write a post that I feel strongly about.  It was born over the weekend after having a great discussion with a good friend of mine, Joni. (Photo credit:  ifido)

Every time we get together, we end up having a long conversation about everything ranging from politics to the state of the economy to human rights to matters of spiritual nature.

It’s always thought provoking, entertaining and most definitely uplifting.  Sometimes our talks last for hours.  Rather than feel tired and stiff, we feel rejuvenated by the time we part ways.   It was during one of those talks that I am sometimes hit with simple, yet profound reminders of the truth when I get together with friends like that.

Let me paraphrase Joni’s parting words:

You don’t realize this but every time your let your inner child come out to play, people are profoundly touched and moved.  Let me remind and encourage you to open that door and let him come out more often because that’s God’s gift to you.  It has incredible healing power that can literally move mountains and you don’t even realize it!

OMG.

She was talking about the magic of human connectivity.   Earlier in the day, I had told her that although I won the next level of the Toastmaster’s Humorous Speech Contest (I’m now competing on the Divisional level this coming Saturday, October 4, 2008), I did not experience the same magical feeling compared to when I first gave the speech at the club level a week ago.

Someone from my club who was at the Area Contest said, “Frankly I liked the first time you told The James Bond Lady Fiasco story because you were more playful.  I loved how you acted out portions of that speech with dramatic flair – it was much funnier and more touching.”

She was right.  I hadn’t let my inner child come out the second time around.  I was too busy worrying about going over the time limit so I rushed through it.  My mouth got dry and I did not feel like I was in the flow.  (Photo Credit:  MGREIS)

Have you ever been in that position?

By the time I realized what was happening, I attempted to slow down and tried to get into the groove but it was too late.  Despite that, I still won first place but I now have another opportunity to make adjustments at the next contest.

Let the inner child come out and play.

Every time I allow that to happen, regardless of whether I’m speaking, writing or interacting with other people (especially during interview situations), I instantly go into the “zone.”

Words, thoughts, ideas, expressions come naturally to me without so much a blip.  It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world because it’s magical.   I speak clearly and articulately.   I feel all of us are one during those times.   It is this magic that gives me the ability to move people and inspire them in deep and profound ways.

However, when that inner child is locked away, the magic cannot display its full potential.  If people are lucky enough, they’ll only catch a brief glimpse of the magic.    I’m guessing that’s what happened when the judges heard me speak this weekend.

Whether you realize it or not (and regardless of what you do), people subconsciously respond to that part of you better than when you attempt to put up this “adult-playacting” role.   When you let your hair down (assuming you have any, hahahaha – I certainly don’t!), you encourage others to do the same.   Invisible walls come tumbling down and people connect at a cellular level.  There’s no need to pretend, compete or play games.

Do you know what that feels like?  It’s complete freedom, let me tell you!

I am here to remind you that your inner child has the power to hold the world in the palm of your hand.  I know this because I’ve seen myself do it numerous times.  (Photo credit:  Elli 19)

Your inner child is your best friend who is quite capable of putting you in the natural flow of life.   When we allow it to emerge, an instant bond is formed with those around us.  Words tumble out easily and effortlessly.  We feel light and energetic.   Because things snap into place easily and effortlessly, hardly a finger needs to be lifted to “make things happen.”

Just before Joni walked out the door, I suddenly transformed myself into a giddy little kid, got down on my knees and shouted, “YES, YOU ARE RIGHT, I MUST LET MY INNER CHILD COME OUT!”

Tears instantly sprang forth.  Jabbing her finger at me, she excitedly said,   “See? That’s what I’m talking about!  When you let go and be who you really are, you have this tremendous power to jump into people’s hearts and heal them, just like you’re doing with me right now!”

With that, she waved goodbye and sped off into the night, leaving me with this incredible desire to share with you this important question:  Knock, Knock, Can you Come Out to Play?

Food for thought:  When was the last time you did that?

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(continued from Week #3)

Today’s post is not what you expected – normally I post an interview in mid-week but I got a little sidetracked.

A week from today, I will be at Penn State Altoona for 3 presentations.    Then after that, I’m visiting my brother and his family in Virginia the rest of the week and weekend.    It’s an opportunity to connect with my mom and dad who are also planning to be there.   Therefore, I am taking a two week break from interviewing people.

I know many of you have been waiting to see the final results of the “Tim Ferris Diet.”   If you were extra alert and took took notice of today’s title, you’d already have some inkling about the results.

In the last update, I promised to post before and after photos.   That’s here too.  I also dropped hints that I’ll be starting a new 30 day experiment.   In fact, I’m already on Day 2 with absolutely phenomenal results – much better than the “Tim Ferris Diet.”  I’m not kidding!

Before I go any further, I thought I’d comment on the photo you see here.  It was taken at a lake not far from where I live.  Yesterday afternoon, I was soaking up the sun’s rays and inhaling nature’s beauty while admiring the crystal clear water – you can see algae floating just beneath the water’s surface.  For some strange reason, I hold utter fascination with clear water.  Interestingly enough, this was revealed during the reading I did with Akemi Gaines last week.   That was one thing that she could not have possibly known about me but was right on target.    Hmmmm……..

Anyway, rendezvousing with nature  has taken priority over writing blog posts and meeting self-imposed deadlines because there’s nothing more nurturing to the soul than soaking up nature’s beauty and basking in the warm sun.   Being in the midst of nature like that calms and reassures me.   It also helps me get centered.   Besides, I’m trying to absorb as much sun as I can before the Fall/Winter sets in.   Even though it’s already September, we’ve been blessed with a supply of nice warm, sunny days lately and I have every intention of taking advantage of them, wherever I happen to be.

Okay, let’s do it.  A final update on the “Tim Ferris Diet.”

While I wouldn’t call it a failure, I definitely did NOT achieve what I set out to do.  Some of you thought losing 20 lbs. in 30 days would have been unhealthy anyway.  Others thought the diet was clogging my system with too many beans (LOL).

But everyone was supportive, which was awesome!

Now it’s my turn to share what I think really happened.   But first, let’s pull out the final numbers:

Day 1 ……………………………………………………………………Day 30

Weight:  171.5 lbs.                                               165 lbs.

Belly to Belly Measurement:  38 inches                36 inches

Pant Size:  34 inches (snug, almost tight)            33 (snug, almost tight)

Day 1 Photo

Day 30 Photo

It’s kind of hard to tell but if you look closely enough, you can see faint outlines of my abs straining to come through.

Interestingly enough, the photos don’t seem to jibe with the numbers but I did lose 6.5 lbs, took off 2 inches around the waist (“belly to belly” measurement) and tried on a pair of 33 inch pants to find it fitting snugly (rather than “tightly”).

Not bad, but not good enough.

While I did not lose the desired weight and am not yet ready to transit into pant size 33,” I would say this experiment was a moderate success for I learned a lot, gained measurable energy and made myself super conscious of my eating habits.  Not only that, but it prepared me for my new experiment, which I’ll tell you about in a moment.

Having touted the positive benefits of the “Tim Ferris Diet,” I also have some ideas why it didn’t go as well as anticipated.  Mind you, it doesn’t mean this diet doesn’t work – it does – but for some people.  When I first discovered it and read all those comments at Tim Ferri’s blog about how many people lost weight, I just had to give it a try.

I’m glad I did.

But like Alexandria said in her Facebook comment a few weeks ago, this was a diet very high in nutrient-rich fiber and high protein, much of which contained water-insoluble fibers, making it hard for the body to break down.

Eating beans 3 times a day along with mostly chicken and occasionally “grass-fed” beef was clogging my system.  Even though I noticed a measurable gain in energy (especially at the gym), I was retaining much of the weight because my body was having a difficult time breaking everything down.

Even though 30 days seems to be plenty of time to get used to the food I was eating, apparently, for me, it wasn’t long enough.  Perhaps I should have made it a 60 day experiment instead.  But I’m not going to do that because long before I discovered the “Tim Ferris Diet,” I had seriously been considering the raw/living food diet/lifestyle.   In fact, I’ve already started on that with even better results!  More on that in a separate post.

Let’s recap the lessons I learned:

• Anytime you start an experiment/project, find a way to hold yourself accountable.
• Having patience and faith is critical in anything you set your mind to.
• Don’t compare yourself to the success of others.
• When life intervenes, you must find a way to make it work.
• Use tools to sharpen your focus like a calendar to keep yourself inspired so that you can continually move toward the goal.
• When microwaving food, don’t use plastic containers – use microwavable glass/ceramic bowls (thanks to Nita and Jen Krejsa for alerting me to this)
• Never give up hope, especially when the going gets tough.
• Eat small portions at least every 3 hours to keep your metabolism going.
• Never let yourself go hungry because if you do it often enough, the body will go into survival mode and store away food, which turns to fat.  Plan it out so that snacks can be healthy and not last-minute-grab-a-bag-of-potato-chips kind of thing.

Ok, there you have it – the 30 day “Tim Ferris Diet” is officially over.

I’ve already begun turning a new page.  You won’t believe how dedicated I am to this new raw food/living food experiment.   Not only that, the results have been nothing short of phenomenal!

Stay tuned……

Food for thought:  What impact did this 30 day “Tim Ferris Diet” experiment have, if any, on you personally?

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(Continued from Week 2)

Well, it’s hard to believe I’ve only got one more week left of the “Tim Ferris Diet“!

Looking back, despite the changes I’ve made, especially in the mornings when I had to cook breakfast and clean up afterward, it really wasn’t all that bad.  Even when I absolutely did not feel like cooking, by forcing myself to go through with it, I was able to break through the initial resistance pretty easily.

All of you know from last week’s gratitude post that I received a terrific “encouragement card” from Chris and Lisa Cree (see photo).  As I mentioned, it caused tears of gratitude to flow and now it’s sitting on my desk, reminding me of the mantra “I am at my ideal weight.”

I know all of you are leaning forward, dying to know if this “Tim Ferris Diet” has generated incredible results for me.

I’m sitting here smiling, almost laughing because, well, 3 weeks have gone by…and…..

* I’ve managed to stick with it 6 days a week with 1 “day off.”

* I exercised almost every day (combination of running and weight training).

* Cooking breakfast and cleaning up afterward became slightly easier over time.

* Even on the “days off” (Saturdays), I never went wild with junk food.  In fact, pretty much the only thing that was different was instead of cooking breakfast, I’d have a bowl of Kashi’s with frozen blueberries.  Lunch and dinner on that day was usually spinach salad with chicken (but no beans).  For a snack, I’d grab fistfuls of my favorite peanut butter pretzels.  Despite not going “wild,” I always managed gained a few pounds the next day only to lose it the following Monday.   Strange if you ask me!

As I enter my fourth and final week, let’s have a look at the numbers once again:

Beginning of Week #1:

Weight:  171.5; Belly to Belly Measurement:  38 inches, Pant Waist Size:  34 inches

End of Week #3:

Weight:  166.0**; Belly to Belly Measurement:  36 inches, Pant Waist Size:  33 inches (snug fit)

**this was the weight last Friday, the lowest on the scale before going back up to 168 lbs over the weekend (probably due to the “day off”).

Results so far:

• Total Weight Loss:  5.5 lbs (3 weeks)
• Total Belly to Belly Waist Reduction:  2 inches (not too shabby!)
• Total Pant Size Reduction:  1 inch (just tried on a pair of 33 inch jeans and it felt “snug” but not tight like it did before the experiment)

With a week left, I am nowhere near the 20 lb. loss I was looking for.  But the numbers are telling.  I am gradually “trimming” down.  Does that mean I will continue with this “diet”?

Yes and no.

Here’s why:

1.  Yes, because I’ve gotten into the habit of incorporating green leafy vegetables, which is easy to throw together (salad) and is delicious.

2.  No, because I believe I will go back to eating a bowl of Kashi’s with blueberries since it’ll eliminate the ghastly clean up job afterward (but after seeing Tim Ferris YouTube video on how to cook without generating a pile of dirty dishes/pans, I am going to give that a try this week).

3.  No, because I’ve been contemplating the idea of eating raw food for 30 days anyway.  Before you start groaning and shouting “NOOOOOO!”, take a look at this guy, Anthony Anderson.  Look at his photo.  He went raw for 2 weeks and it not only defined his body but it also cleared his skin and gave him an incredible boost of energy, lifting him both spiritually and mentally.   Who doesn’t want that?

Truth be told, I’ve been considering going this route for quite some time but I love chicken too much to have given it serious thought.  However, after having gone on a 30 day experiment for the first time in my life and finding it fun, challenging and definitely life-changing, I’m curious to see what will happen at the end of 30 days of eating raw.  Will the results be more dramatic?  Or will it fail?

Think about it.  Every day I eat salad anyway.  The only thing I’d be eliminating would be chicken.   Is that too hard?  Well, not if I stay focused, perhaps substituting chicken with, say, flavored tofu like sundried tomato tofu!

While I have not yet made the decision to go raw, I’m pretty excited about the possibilities.  Meanwhile, I plan to finish up all the chicken stored away in the freezer.  Then on my “final day off” (Saturday, September 6th), I’ll decide whether to go raw or not.

A couple more lessons I’ve learned from this experiment:

Use a Tool to Help Sharpen Your Focus

I put a calendar up on the wall in the hallway and kept track of the numbers.  I found this to be a great motivator.

This was the method I used while at Merrill Lynch during the early 90′s to win sales trips (Bermuda, Mexico, Florida, etc) because it helped me stay the course and keep up with production quotas.

When your focus is razor-sharp, the fact of the matter is you’re less likely to fall off the wagon and stick with the routine.

Eating More Greens Led to Less Cravings and More Energy

Without getting technical (I’ll leave that to the food experts), the more green food I ate, the more energy I felt on most days.  Something having to do with photo-something.  Also, I found that I did not crave sweets even on my days off when I had a “license” to snack away.  The desire was simply not there.

In fact, I have a bag of candy sitting on my table (a thank you gift from the people who ran the deaf youth mentoring summer program), left unopened.  I think having more greens in my daily diet had something to do with that.

If you’re a food expert reading this, feel free to add your comments below and help all of us, including this one, understand what was happening.

Okay, that’s it folks!  One more week and I’ll be turning a new leaf with a new 30 day experiment.   Stay tuned for “before” and “after” photos!

It’ll be very interesting to see if the 30 day trial produced any “noticeable” results through the photos.

Continue to the final week #4

Food for Thought:  Any other thoughts you might be having to doing your own 30 day experiment?  Come on folks, let’s have fun with it.  It is possible to change a habit in 30 days.  You can do it!

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(Continued from Week 1)

I’m starting to think perhaps I should have titled these follow-up posts with “How I MIGHT Lose 20 lbs. in 30 Days…….” (Photo: Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie)

This morning (Sunday) I woke up an hour later than normal and for the first time since starting the “Tim Ferris Diet” almost 2 weeks ago, I absolutely, positively did not feel like cooking!

Almost as if I wanted to prolong the inevitable, I started by making a pot of coffee.  Then like a mischievous child, my eyes involuntarily  rolled over to the cabinet where I kept a box of cereal.  I felt a lurch in my stomach.

No one will know, right?

I could simply fess up and say I “slipped.” And all will be forgiven.

Or will it?

Almost as if I was in a trance, I reached up in slow motion, opened the box and began to pour myself a bowl of Kashi’s.  As I was doing that, warning bells were ricocheting off the walls inside my head.  My stomach was flip-flopping like freshly caught fish.

OH NO!  What was happening?!?

All sorts of thoughts rushed through me like a tornado that gave rise to feelings that I was out of alignment and a knowing that I was not maintaining my integrity because I was about to break a commitment.

DARN IT!  Why do I have to be so aware of things?

I slowly and reluctantly poured the cereal back into the box and put it away.  Then my whole body, mind and spirit galvanized into action and I made breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs (one whole egg, 1/4 cup of egg whites and a little bit of vanilla soy milk), lentil beans and mixed vegetables.

It was fine.  And filling.

But looming ahead of me was the unpleasant chore of vigorously scrubbing the little red pan and washing the dishes.  Tim Ferris, why didn’t you say something about THAT?

Part of the reason I think this happened was because for one thing, I had a bowl of delicious Kashi’s with frozen blueberries for breakfast yesterday (my “day off”) and not only enjoyed it but loved how easy and quick it was to clean up afterward.  The American culture has certainly become conditioned to instant gratification, wouldn’t you say?

While I managed to skip two days of weighing myself on the scale Thursday and Friday (a world record!), when I weighed in over the weekend, it registered a disappointing 170 lbs.   Good grief, I started this diet almost two weeks ago at 171.5!

WTH?

Whenever we do something for a certain outcome, if we’re making slow (or no progress at all), it’s so easy to get discouraged.  That’s exactly what I’m experiencing right now and those feelings are probably what led me to think, “Screw this!”

Mind you, it’s not that having a bowl of cereal would have amounted to much of a flagrant violation or anything but that’s not the point, isn’t it?  We both know that on a deeper level, with each “violation”  committed, it becomes progressively harder to get back on track.  That goes for anything in life.

It’s like going to the gym for several months and then suddenly you don’t go anymore.   Months later, you start up again, 20 lbs. heavier.  Has that ever happened to you?  Believe me, it’s has more times than I care to admit.  I’ve had an on-again, off-again love affair with the gym for years.

How about I give you an update on some numbers and then share some life lessons associated with this experiment?

End of Week #1:  Weight 171.5, “Belly to Belly Measurement” 38 inches, Pant Size 34 inches.

End of Week #2:  Weight 170.0, “Belly to Belly Measurement” 37 inches, Pant Size 34 inches (but feels somewhat “looser”)

Now, on a whole, as far as the numbers are concerned, nothing much seems to be happening on the surface but there’s a lot going on that can be considered positive:

• Increased energy throughout the day, especially during workouts
• Rarely take power naps, something I used to do almost every day
• Overall feeling of being “fit” (real or imagined?)
• Clothes feel better on me (real or imagined?)
• Inner knowing that my body appreciates the green vegetables which somehow leads me to walking with a little more of a skip
• Helping me remember the power of focus and how it is possible to keep going in the face of difficulties or discouragement

I’d say the program is having good influence on me even though it hasn’t been backed by hard numbers – yet.  That’s good enough of a reason to continue, just to see what happens. (Photo:  Vchera)

Last year when I was on my own (i.e. no specific diet – just watched what I ate and exercised regularly, etc.), at a certain point after a slow start, I saw my weight suddenly drop.  So maybe this means my body is still adjusting to this new way of eating (all those beans!).

Another thing is that despite the fact that some people claimed to have gone on Tim Ferris’ diet for 30 days without any exercise at all (it said so in the title of his article), any kind of cardiovascular exercise is necessary if you want to burn fat around your waist.  From what I’ve read in numerous health-related publications, it doesn’t really matter what form of cardiovascular workout you give yourself as long as you do it for at least 20 to 30 minutes without a break.  Something about getting your blood circulated and giving your heart adequate exercise…….whatever…….

So what have I learned so far and how can you apply them to life in general?

Holding Yourself Accountable is Critical

If you have a big goal like losing weight or overcoming your fears, it’s incredibly important to find yourself a person or mastermind group to hold you accountable because then you’re more than likely to stay on track and not let your rambunctious ego run amok.  In my case, I announced to over 500 of you here about what I was attempting to do.   Knowing that I’d have to report a “slip-up” to you was a powerful enough of a reason to put that cereal back in the cupboard.  Interesting.

Having Patience and Faith Cannot Be Underestimated

We all want what we want right now and not a minute later.  Sound familiar?  Instant gratification.  Sigh.

Like they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”  Keeping your vision alive while you go through the trials and tribulations are of paramount importance in keeping your dream alive. (Photo:  Amundn)

In my case, I have in my mind 145 registering on the scale and feeling slim and fit with plenty of energy throughout the day.  We all know how easy it is to give up when the “going gets tough.”  Having a mental image of what you’d like at the end helps – a lot.

Wow, what a powerful lesson for me.  Man, I keep thinking to myself, why can’t I experience a big drop on the scale like some of the people reporting their results on the Tim Ferris site?

That brings me to the next lesson……

Don’t Compare Yourself to the Success of Others

That’s a big one.  My primary motivation for giving this experiment a try came from reading about other people’s success with it.  I mentioned last week how my friend Ron “Buzzoodle” McDaniel lost 47 lbs from this experiment (it was over a period of several months, not just 30 days but STILL!).

Every time I jump on the bathroom scale and see those dismal numbers, I tend think to myself, “why can’t I experience a big drop like some of the others?”

It’s a huge reminder not to play the comparison game.  I even wrote about this subject several months ago:  Debilitating Habit of Comparing Yourself to Others.

The key is to pay attention to what’s happening to you.

Why?

Because we’re all made of different bodies, belief systems, abilities and background.   To do so would be like trying to compare apples with oranges.

Nada.

When Life “Intervenes” You Must Learn How to Adapt and Make it Work

Since I haven’t been traveling lately, keeping myself on the straight and narrow has been easy because my office is at home.  Everything I need is right here at my disposal.  If I run out of something, all I have to do is visit the store and replenish.

But what happens when I’m invited to a dinner party or a friend asks me to join in for lunch at some restaurant?  Now, all of a sudden it isn’t so simple anymore because the decision-making process is now thrown for a loop.  Instead of just saying, “Sure, let’s go anywhere, I don’t care” like I used to, I now have to think differently.   I try to come up with a better solution and suggest a healthier place like Chipotle (they have great burrito bowls without the flat bread – you can fill it with beans, chicken, peppers and lettuce without white rice).

When you’re heading toward a goal, no matter what it is, your decision-making process is based upon conscious choices about what you will do in response to outer influences.  This is where people sometimes say, “Nothing I can do about it.”  The fact is there IS something you can do about it.  It’s just a matter of asserting yourself a little more.

Last week I spent the entire day in Youngstown (Ohio) to mentor a group of deaf kids as part of a summer program I am involved in.  I knew they would be serving pizza for lunch.  So what did I do?  I made a portable chicken salad with beans on the side.   Not only was it delicious but I stayed on track because of the willingness to adapt to the situation.

Tonight, I will be going to a church picnic where they’re serving hot dogs and probably lots of junk food.  Do I stay home or do I go?  Well, since I want to mingle among my fellow churchgoers, I prepared a bowl of chicken salad along with a container of lentil beans.  Not so difficult, right?

It’s that simple – if you prepare yourself to counter life’s interventions by cultivating an attitude of adaptation, you can make it work.  But it’s up to you.

If you do something long enough, it’s likely to become an integral part of your life.  While I honestly don’t see myself eating beans three times a day forever (nor do I see myself scrubbing the little red pan every morning), I do foresee better eating habits along with improved food-related decisions.

Here’s what I think what will happen after this 30 day experiment is over:

• Increased awareness of good eating habits including but not limited to, incorporating beans at least once a day (hahaha), plenty of green leafy vegetables, lots of water and adding a mixture color to meals like blueberries, strawberries, etc.
• Serve moderate portions and not overdo things.
• Better decisions in how I respond to outside influences.
• Seek out ways to hold myself accountable anytime I want to change something I don’t like about myself.

So there we are, another two weeks to go.  Thanks to all of you who are cheering me on this rather challenging but interesting odyssey!

Continue to Week 3

Food for thought:  Now, it’s your turn.  What else do you think I could be learning from this experiment?  Is there anything I might have left out?  Have you tried changing a habit in 30 days as a result of reading about my experience?  If so, please tell us about it.  Let all of us hold YOU accountable for a change.  Wink, wink!

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