Finally at 2 a.m. we pinpointed the source of the problem and fixed it.  But that led to the creation of another problem that will have to be dealt with at a later time (i.e. my videophone no longer works – ACK!).

Putting things in perspective though, at least I’m back online!  (Image credit: Drama Mafia )

But that’s not the subject of today’s gratitude post.

You will notice the format to be a little different today.  That’s because I have one story surrounding the power of “what goes around comes around.”  I experienced an amazing situation of that theme this week.  The other stuff I want to share with you will be outlined in another posting – perhaps over the weekend.

But before I go into that, I wish to ask everyone for a moment of silence.  Randy Pausch, famous for “The Last Lecture” died of pancreatic cancer yesterday.  I was so incredibly inspired by this man who lived life right to the very end.  After the “last lecture” video went viral, he appeared on Oprah and inspired many millions of more people around the world.  Not long after that, Harper Collins published “The Last Lecture” that went on to be an instant best-seller.   While this is a sad moment in passing, I somehow know this man would not have wanted the world to mourn for his death.  He would have wanted us to celebrate the beauty of his and our own lives.  Thank you Randy for giving us what we so desperately needed – a reminder of the simple truths of life.  Thank you.  We will see you when we come home later.

Now turning to this week’s gratitude story.   Oh Good Lord, do I have something to share with you!

The incident happened yesterday.  After a good workout at the gym, I hopped into my car, started it, and scanned through emails on my “Crackberry.”  Once I finished responding to various emails, I set the BB down, put the car in reverse and began to back out.

CRUNCH!

OMG.

Yep – you guessed it.

Another fender bender on a parking lot!

But this time it was MY FAULT.

He had the right of way.

As soon as I felt the impact, I was like, “OH SH****T.”

I couldn’t believe it because you’ll recall about a month ago, almost the exact same thing happened to my car in another parking lot.  The only difference between the two incidents was that I was not in my car when it happened before.  If you’re new here and have no idea what I’m talking about, see A Fender Bender That Could Have Gone Wrong.

You all remember from that story how I found a yellow piece of paper that was taped to the driver’s side window, flapping in the wind.  It had on it the responsible driver’s name and her contact information.  You can imagine how grateful I felt upon seeing that note!  (Image credit:  lilly1975)

Someone led me to her inside the building, next to the parking lot.  This woman was clearly distraught, way more upset than I was.  Throughout the entire exchange, I kept a very calm, serene demeanor.  I kept telling her things like, It’ll all work out, thank you for taking responsibility and for being so honest about it.  I am very grateful to you.

Well, God bless her and her insurance company because within a week, my car was like new again.  You can’t even tell that someone hit me less than a month ago.  (BEFORE and AFTER photos can be seen at the above fender bender link).

Well, let’s fast forward to yesterday.  After I realized I hit someone, I got out of the car, half expecting the driver to scream a litany of profane words; but like how I behaved with that woman, he was remarkably calm and peaceful.   It was stunning display of the boomerang effect from the universe.  It was as if I was watching myself in a movie being replayed. 

Utterly incredulous.

Together, the man and I decided not to call the police and simply exchanged insurance information.   Like the above mentioned woman, I got right on the phone and called my insurance company to get the claim processed as quickly as possible.  I so very much wanted to continue to pay it forward.  How could I not, after what she did for me?

And get this………

Are you sitting down?

The location of the damage to his car was EXACTLY the same as mine a month ago!

Wait, there’s more!

The amount of damage to both of our cars were identical.

Food for thought:  Have you ever experienced the truth of “What Goes Around Comes Around” in your life?

Side notes:

1.  Be on the lookout for some more gratitude items in a future post; including a new corporate speaking engagement, a couple of new scripts recently installed for this blog (that you should most definitely be aware of), a newly upgraded version of the blog theme, a new Tweet-up event that I am coordinating with another Twitterer from the local area and more.   So much to be grateful for!

2.  You will note that the CommentLuv plugin no longer exists.  It had to be pulled for two reasons.  One is that it was parsing only some of your last blog posts but not others, giving the impression that I was being selective about it.   Thanks to Corrine Edwards for alerting me to this malfunction.

The second is because it was causing my WP database to become enormously bloated with worthless junk, which would have slowed everything down if I had continued to let it accumulate. (See Comment #28 at Upgraded: xMark 2.5 Released).

But all is not lost!  Commentators are still being “recognized” for their input because their names are still being linked back to their blogs (assuming they have one and filled in the URL box).   We also have the “Monthly Comment Champs” and “Most Recent Comments” sidebars, further giving you link love in exchange for taking the time to share with us your thoughts.  So the love is still there – okay?

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I’m not sure where I got this idea but once it found its way to my brain, it more or less grew into an idea for a post because I often write about letting go and letting God take care of the final outcome.

Update: My dear friend and fellow blogger, Corinne Edwards, is actually the one who inspired me to write this blog post because of an article she had written almost 2 weeks ago called Let the Cat Come to You. When I originally posted this article, I had completely forgotten where cat idea had came from but I knew it came from somewhere because I had written a reminder to write this post but did not write down where the idea came from.  But now I remember!  When I first read her story, it immediately reminded me of my own experience with a cat at a friend’s house and then that led me to make a spiritual correlation, all of which you’re about to read shortly. So thank you Corinne for the inspiration!

For years, I’ve subscribed to the law of attraction theory that if you try too hard by expending all your energy pursuing something, it doesn’t seem to want to manifest. But when you let go and trust the process, you find yourself being supplied with whatever you need to get what you want. Has that ever happened to you?

Because you are an energy magnet, you eventually bring to you what you’re primarily thinking about (visualizing, writing, speaking, acting, etc), but the moment you emit what I call “desperate” energy (trying too hard, manipulating, twisting), you are sending a strong signal that you don’t trust the universe to guide you along the way.

The universe is like that cat – it can sense whether you’re relaxed and confident that it will come around. On the other hand, it also knows when you are overzealous. One day I tested this idea when visiting an elderly lady who was a friend’s mother. She had an old bat of a cat that was reputed to be anti-social. Upon stepping inside the house, I was told it rarely mingled with strangers but I didn’t let that deter me. Once I plopped myself into an easy chair in the living room, I decided right then and there that while I wanted to scratch the cat’s head (a.k.a. “my dream”), I wasn’t going to push it. i would allow it to come to me naturally. I would do whatever was required of me (i.e. look the other way or at least ignore it). Within a half hour, the cat was happily rubbing against my leg!

The little old lady exclaimed, “My, my, she NEVER does that! She must really like you Stephen!”

I smiled.

The universe is like an intelligent cat – it knows what you want but until let go and trust that what you want will manifest at the right time, it will stay away. The cat (a.k.a. universe) sensed that I wasn’t going to chase after it and eventually came around on its own (God’s timing).

That’s why it’s important to stay focused on yours dream(s), take inspired action and then let go. How they will happen, how the Universe will bring it to you is not your job. When you are trying to determine how it will all work out, you are emitting a certain lack of faith, telling the universe you really don’t believe it’s coming to you.

An example of how I applied this “cat theory” was in relation to my dream of becoming the first deaf person to earn an instrument rating. The idea was first conceived around 1999, when I took my very first flight lesson. I had seen the book of regulations and saw that it implied, in black and white, that a hearing disability would prevent me from earning that rating in the future. Despite numerous detractors who tried their best to prove that I was living in la-la land, I kept the faith and stayed alert to opportunities that came my way.

Looking back, I can see with stunning clarity why it took me almost 7 years to finally achieve what everyone else said was impossible. Many things had to happen before I was ready to go to the next level. Not only did I have to finish my primary training, but I also took the next step and went for the commercial license. After I was done with that, I took it upon myself to do a lot of cross country flying (i.e. flew from Michigan to Kansas City for example), as well as several night flights, all of which significantly added more hours to my logbook. Meanwhile, I continued to plant seeds by telling everyone who would listen about the dream.

In late 2005, things began to unfold at a rapid clip. People, places and circumstances magically led me to a situation where I began training for the rating. Six months later, In February 2006, my detractors were conspicuously absent when an FAA designated examiner finally extended his hand and said, Congratulations Stephen!

Food for thought: Your undying belief that you will achieve the impossible is your greatest gift. If you want something badly enough, you will get there. Let go and let God.

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I urge you to do the same for yourself.  If you get into the habit of training your mind to focus on what you have, not what you don’t have, then an inevitable shift of perception will take place, leading you to believe in your heart that you are indeed blessed!      

If you have a blog, go ahead and write whatever you’re grateful for.  Slade Robertson over at Spiritual Blogging articulates rather well in How Blogging Works the Law of Attraction the power of using blogging, essentially saying that blogs are super-powered way for your spirit to dynamically reach and connect with others on a global scale, thus super-charging your thoughts, energy and intentions.  If you don’t have a blog, don’t worry, just whip out a notebook or create a file on your hard drive and create a list of things you’re thankful for!   Why not?  It’ll make you feel better – guaranteed.

Here’s today’s gratitude list:  

Subscribers and Visitors to this Blog:  The Adversity University community has grown by leaps and bounds since I started it in 1996.  We’ve come a LONG way and I couldn’t have done it without your support.  I’m very grateful you were inspired enough to sign up, putting your full faith in my ability to make a difference in your life and deliver quality content.  I also appreciate those who make good use of the commenting section here because by doing that, you’re making this one dynamic community!  

WordPress Designers and Developers:  Ever since switching to WordPress last month, I’ve discovered many wonderful plug-ins, allowing mere mortals like me who have very little knowledge of coding, to add things like “related posts” that you see below.  Hundreds of WordPress developers are to be commended for spending thousands of hours in creating free plug-ins for the rest of us.  It is because of them I can blog with relative ease and comfort and give the readers and visitors the ability to hang around and participate! 

Over at A Deaf Mom’s World, Karen Putz writes wonderfully inspiring and entertaining articles about things that are going on in her life as a deaf mom with kids and a hubby.  The last several posts have been about an all-deaf cruise that they went on recently.  I think you’ll enjoy her warm, embracing style of writing.      

Brian Kim wrote a powerful article on the value of learning about other people’s stories.  He reminds us that all of us have a story to share – yes, that means you too.   I’m glad Brian reminded me (and now you) to pay attention to the next person we encounter and ask them to tell us a personal story.  You’ll make a new friend for life if you do that.

Do you have a little belly fat on you?  Come on, admit it.  I do!  Thanks to Jay White at Dumb Little Man-Tips For Life, I was led to K. Stone’s article that does a great job on how to lose just a little bit fat, one step at a time.  It was because of her article that I went back to the gym this morning and made better selections when I went grocery shopping later on.

To those who have been using “StumbleUpon” for certain posts at this blog (perhaps through the use of the “Share This” button at the end of them?), I thank you for doing so because you’ve been helping me receive tons of new traffic (even though I have no idea who you are, where you’re from or how you’ve come to Stumble me.  Update:  Thanks to Liz Strauss who wrote “The Secret to Massive Digg/StumbleUpon Traffic Without Spamming,” I finally figured out how to personally track down and thank those who stumbled some of my articles, causing massive traffic to come through here.  For example, yesterday, over 500 people visited “Oh My Sweet Mama!”   Whoever you are, Please keep Stumbling me – it is greatly appreciated!

And finally but not least, I am grateful bloggers like Brad Baggett at Juice of Champions continue to share my work with others like ”7 Essential Tips for Your Life’s Toolkit.” 

Food for thought:  What are you grateful for today? 

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………..I suddenly felt a strange compulsion to walk over to the bookcase…retrieve two green booklets on the very bottom shelf….turned out to be…personal diaries….not read since 1995….the year I made enormous amounts of money on Wall Street, was in better physical shape in my mid-thirties….not to mention countless of exciting bedroom escapades….But something else was happening….I was shocked to see a darker, more sinister side of me appear…. there were names of people who I have no recollection of ever meeting but they were supposedly my dearest, closest friends…….

Oh my sweet Mama! 

Did that sound like something out of a Hollywood movie?  Obviously I’m not going to lay out everything for the world to see but I’d like to share lessons gleaned from the diaries.   Also on this list are some of the undesirable demons I struggled with at the time.  

All of them made me who I am today.

4 Success Habits Capitulating Me to a Six-Figure Career on Wall Street

Intense focus- Each night before leaving the office at Merrill Lynch, I created a plan for the next day and then worked it the moment I walked in the following morning.  The plan included names of clients I would call, sales goal for the day, appointments with prospective clients and other things to keep me on track.  

Work ethic – Came in to work early (7 am) and left late (8 pm).  I loved the feeling of beating everyone to the punch in the office.  I guess it gave me a sense of competitiveness or maybe it was just the desire to kick start the day.   Whatever it was, it made me feel GREAT!  (Merrill Lynch Bull Photo Credit:  Travis S.)

Passion – I repeatedly wrote in my diary how much I loved the work I was doing.  The fierce fire in the pit of my belly gave me a reason to bounce out of bed and eagerly look forward to the day’s events.  

Visualization – Pictures of hotels in faraway places that I’d be staying at for sales-related sales contests were cut and hung where I could see them daily.  I also visualized how much monthly income I desired.  It was interesting, in retrospect, to see on some of those pages figures ranging from $20,000 to $30,000 a month! 

How I Got Through Tough Spots

• Prayed to a Higher Power – This was the year where God was officially recognized as my unseen partner in life.  This was a spiritual, not religious decision.  While I have always been conscious of His invisible presence, it wasn’t until 1995 when I truly communed with him on a daily basis, using prayer to communicate my innermost desires, thoughts, fears, emotions, etc.  
• Daily Gratitude- This went hand-in-hand with my new-found relationship with a higher power.  I was constantly seeking the good in everything that happened to me (even the challenging ones) and then finding reasons to be grateful for them.  It got to the point where I was doing this unconsciously, enabling me to shift from limited to unlimited possibility thinking.  
• Faith in Myself- Even though 1995 was my best year financially, I did encounter rough patches along the way, some of which severely shook my inner foundation.  You may recall the episode I had with the Grandmotherly Client from Hell.  That was the first major shake-up.  That was followed by the defection of a couple of very high net worth clients that moved out of New York.  My dairy was obliterated with fear-based thoughts about whether I had the ability to survive afterwards.  It taught me the true meaning of “this, too, shall pass.”          
• Found ways to feel good- Since physical fitness and nutrition was made a priority that year, I was in better shape at 35 then I was in my twenties.    Not only did I lose 15 to 20 pounds but I was also proudly sporting a hard washboard stomach for the first time!  A person who feels good physically is a person who is bound to feel good mentally.  Seeing how my reality became more favorable while in this state of mind, I discovered by accident how to deliberately find ways to feel good (i.e. eat nutritional food, exercise, watch the sun go down, imagine a cute baby laughing, send a handwritten thank you card, have dinner with a good friend, etc.).   
• Dealing with Disappointments- I had a number of close encounters with prospects whose net worth were in the millions.  Despite my earnest efforts, a handful of potentially lucrative accounts never materialized.  There was a school with a $6 million endowment fund that needed to be invested.  I didn’t get the account.  After being interviewed on national television (CNN news), one lady called to say she wanted to transfer $20 to $30 million worth of investments for me to invest and manage.  After wining and dining her to no end, she turned out to be a fake!  At first I was devastated but I eventually learned how to deal with disappointment by replacing negative thoughts with more empowering ones and move on.      

The amazing thing is that I had been practicing the law of attraction at the time without knowing it!  This lends credence to the fact that some people are able to attract abundance by default.  They behave, think and act like I did.  The difference between today and back then is I now practice the law of attraction consciously.  Back then I didn’t.  Interesting, isn’t it?

Lessons from Dangerous Habits

Excessive Partying- This was a leftover habit from my college days.  During the first ten years after college graduation, I was a party boy, frequenting nightclubs like Studio 54.  In those days, I stumbled around in a fog because I was still partying night after night with no sense of purpose.  But all that changed in February 1995 when I suddenly decided after a night of heavy partying that I was not going to do it anymore.  The incredible clarity I gained afterwards led me to the spiritual journey I am now on.  To use an analogy, I am like the person who suddenly decided to stop eating meat and become a vegetarian for the simple reason that the former no longer fit my new lifestyle.  (Studio 54 Photo Credit:  Mr. Konishi)

Self Esteem Based on Shallow Ideals  – While great things were happening that year, I still had a lot of inner clutter that needed cleaning.  As I was turning the pages, I was shocked to know that I depended on external things to make me happy.  For example, my self worth was dependent on how many messages people left on my answering machine, my bank account balance, the number of people who showed up for a party I threw or the number of times I scored in the bedroom!  Thanks to the life-changing decision, I began to look within for strength.     

Fear- This is was a big one.  One of the biggest was whether or not I would continue to survive in the jungles of Wall Street.  One day my sales manager foretold an ominous warning and said, ”…..if you’re going to survive in this business, you need to be opening bigger and bigger accounts!”  It made my stomach flip with fear.  I handled it by staying in the moment and doing the best I could day by day.  It was all I could do to stop the fear from snowballing.  

Lost of Passion, Enthusiasm, Drive – In early 1996, the pages of my diary was strewn with tales of lost motivation and the struggle to regain it.  It shocked me to read things like, ”I no longer work on the weekends and rarely stay late like I used to.”  Somehow despite the luck-luster interest in the business, I managed to survive another year with respectable earnings.  The lesson learned here is that if and when you lose passion for what you’re doing, what was easy and effortless suddenly turns harder than necessary.     

Special Note:  When I took my semi-annual vacation in April 1996, I had a spiritual revelation on the beach, the story of which you can read about here.  It explains, in part, why I was losing interest toward the end of my career on Wall Street. 

Food for thought:  Have you ever written a diary and taken a look at it lately?  You’d be surprised to see how much you have changed!

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For those of you who have been part of Adversity University for quite some time, you are familiar with my journey as a former stockbroker turned motivational speaker, writer and pilot.  I’ve always known from experience that when you focus on what you want, you eventually manifest it – good or bad.  I’ve also known that I didn’t get to where I am alone.  I’ve had lots help along the way.

But one thing I’ve never really utilized was the power of masterminding.  Up until now, I’ve not taken advantage of organizing or even joining a group of like-minded individuals.  After reading several books that emphasize the importance of masterminding our way to success, I finally made a firm decision to put out a request to the universe to help me with this.  Then I promptly forgot about it.

One day, I was online and found someone who belonged to a local law of attraction group.  There was something about this person’s photo that drew me.  My intuition prompted me to contact her (Shelley Kimberly) and so I did.  A meeting was set up and towards the end of the hour, she told me of another person who she thought would make a great mastermind partner for me.

His name is Myron Brown of Myron Brown International.  Another meeting was set up between the three of us a week later.  I couldn’t have predicted the outcome of that meeting.  Not only did we hit off immediately but we bonded right away.  When he walked in, I knew that he was the right mastermind partner.  There was no doubt about it.

The fact that we felt a deep spiritual connection, while very significant, is actually not the focus of today’s article.  What I want to emphasize is what Myron later told me later on.  On our second or third meeting, he revealed to me that after we met for the first time, he excitedly went around and told everyone within his circle of influence that his new masterminding partner was once on Oprah.  The funny thing is I never said any such thing because I’ve not been on her show!  

So what made him think such a thing?

What Myron did not know was that I had been visualizing myself on Oprah for many years.  On my refrigerator door is the cover of People Magazine dated December 20, 1999.   Guess who’s on it?

Yep, there she is, smiling at me every time I get hungry!  Next to her photo are the words, “How Oprah Changed Their Lives.”  The simple little action of opening my refrigerator door metabolizes, on a deep cellular level, the thought of engaging in conversation with Oprah in front of millions of viewers.  For those of you familiar with the law of attraction, “thoughts become things.” 

Long before the law of attraction entered mass consciousness, I’ve used the power of visualization towards the achievement of my dreams.  One way of doing that is through the help of photos placed in strategic locations throughout my home.  

Her photo in the kitchen subliminally sends a powerful message almost every single day that I am home to my subconscious mind, the one place inside you that has been called ”the gateway to the universal mind.”  You attract what you put your focus on.  That means the more you internalize your thoughts, the more you give off that energy.

In other words, Myron was picking up on that vibration and read my mind on the first day we met!   

For more information on the power of metabolizing your thoughts, please see “Metabolizing Your Daily Thoughts.”

Food for thought:  If people can pick up your inner thoughts, you might as well fill it with stuff worth reading about! 

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Peggy’s list actually gave me an idea. While I’ve shown the following YouTube video before, I’ve never actually asked you to help me pass it along. According to traffic statistics at Adversity University, about 100 people a day stop by for a visit. If each one of you took a few minutes to forward this video to 5 people on your list, that you personally know would be inspired by its contents, that means at least 500 people could witness the power of three words that once tumbled out of a fifth grade teacher’s lips so many years ago.

As you will see in the video, Mrs. Jordan simply said three words, “THAT’S RIGHT, STEPHEN!”, forever causing a ripple effect that continues to expand even 30 years later. I have written a book with that title (which I expect to publish in 2008) and plan to do a bus tour that same year. By speaking of how much of difference she made in my life, this is my way of giving back to her and reminding current/future teachers that they are very much needed in today’s classroom.

Can you imagine if teachers knew the potential impact on their students the way Mrs. Jordan impacted mine?

Will you help me pay it forward? You are invited to do this a couple of ways:

1. Click the “Share” button at the end of the video and follow their instructions (YouTube provides three ways of passing this forward easily and effortlessly).

2. At the end at the very bottom of this post, there’s a “Share This.” Click on that and you’ll be able to forward the entire blog entry to people you think should see this.

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If you asked for help in school, you were probably called a “brown noser” or maybe a “teacher’s pet.” Perhaps you’ve heard someone say to you, “Quit bothering me and do what you’re told,” “I don’t want to hear about it,” “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “You’re so selfish, all you ever think about is yourself!”

After a lifetime of hearing those comments, we’re programmed to think we can’t ask for help or pose a question without appearing stupid. We become fearful of being met with one of those looks-that-could-kill. We learn very quickly that it’s not okay to ask stupid questions or appearing to ask for a handout.

So what happens later in life? We subconsciously hold ourselves back, afraid to ask, hoping someone will read our minds and reach out to us first.

Well, no one ever said it was easy to ask for what you want but the rewards are immeasurable if you just take that chance. No one has ever succeeded on their own – it’s impossible to. Not if you want to take yourself to the next level.

Several months ago, I hired a designer to completely overhaul my speaking website. When she was done, I realized there was something missing. I needed something that would boost my creditability as a professional speaker. After all, I charge thousands of dollars to give a speech. If you were in a position to hire me to give a motivational talk, wouldn’t you at least want the reassurance that your investment would be well worth spent? I know I would.

What was needed was a couple of video testimonials from those who were considered heavyweights within their fields who were not only well respected and well known but also heard me speak. After all, how could they say I was a good speaker with a good story if they hadn’t been at one of my speeches?

So I got to thinking who I could ask for help in that area. A couple of names immediately came to mind. They were Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines who is in great demand as a business speaker and author of critically acclaimed “Winds of Turbulence” and Mark Sanborn, another popular business speaker, blogger and national best-selling author of “The Fred Factor.”

Now, before I go any further, I want to relate to you some of my earlier experiences with asking for help. Yours truly has been accused numerous times as a youngster of being a “brown noser.” Due to my disability, I often had to ask others to repeat themselves if I didn’t understand what was being said, especially in the classroom or in social situations, only to receive a dramatic rolling of the eyes and a heavy sigh. After years of putting up with reactions like that, I eventually stopped asking because it used to be my perception that people just didn’t want to be bothered.

Boy, did I pay a heavy price for that attitude!

Little did I know that people, by nature, are generous and don’t mind being asked for assistance if given the opportunity. It certainly helps if you believe in yourself and demonstrate that you are someone with potential. People like to be associated with those who they perceive as winners. Even if you have a couple of flaws, they still want to help you because your likeability factor is pretty high on the scale. If you’re an authentic person, others can’t help but wanted to be affiliated with you. Whether or not they get anything in return (other than the satisfaction of helping a “deserving person”), they’re more than likely willing to lend you a hand.

When those two people came to mind, because of years of programming, I almost held back and didn’t ask. Thoughts like “They’re too busy,” “Don’t bother them because this would be too much trouble” immediately bombarded my mind. Fortunately, I had done enough reprogramming of the mind by that point to stop those thoughts from turning into an avalanche.

So I went ahead and boldly asked if they would be willing to do a short video testimony for my website. What helped was that I remained detached from the results. The worst that could happen was a polite, “Perhaps sometime in the future” or an outright “Thanks for thinking of me but my current schedule does not allow me the luxury of doing so, perhaps I could recommend someone else.”

Imagine my pleasant surprise when both of them replied favorably! With today’s technology, they were able to do it by using a simple video camera within the comfort of their homes, download it into a video file and send me an email attachment. That was all there was to it! You can see their video testimonials here.

Until I do a survey of clients who have hired me since those videos were uploaded, I won’t know if I was commissioned to speak solely on the basis of those video testimonials, but I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that if I hadn’t asked for their help, I might not have gotten some of those engagements! So I want to publicly thank Howard and Mark for the time and effort they took to do a video for me.

Is it easy to ask for help? Heck, no! Especially if you are asking someone whose visibility, popularity or earnings power far exceed those of your own but you won’t know until you ask.

What’s more, if there’s anything I’ve learned from asking, it’s that many of these successful people did not get to where they are today if they didn’t receive help somewhere along the line. So they really do want to help you, especially if they see you have potential. Everyone wants to be associated with a winner. Believe in yourself first and then go ask for help. Otherwise why should they believe in your potential if you don’t think you have any yourself?

Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t do it, then you won’t. Either way, you’re right!” Wow!

Food for thought: There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. If you don’t ask, you won’t get. People can’t read your mind – so why not go ahead and give it a shot? The worst they can say is “No.” How bad can that be?

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I am and will always be a continuing student of the Law of Attraction. Even though I’ve heard of Jerry and Esther Hicks, a husband and wife team who teach Law of Attraction principles through a spirit guide named Abraham, it wasn’t until recently when I felt inspired to learn more about them. One day I kept seeing their names all over the place and realized that the universe was sending me a message to look into their teachings. So I went on Amazon and ended up buying two of their books: The Law of Attraction and Ask and It is Given.

I read both of them in three days. Yes, three. They were that good. As a result, I was given some really great tips on fun ways to feel more abundant.

1. Withdraw a $100 bill from your bank account (an actual $100 bill, don’t ask the teller to break it up into twenties, tens, etc.). Put it in your wallet or purse. Several times a day, open it and look at it. I don’t know about you, but it’s been a very long time since I’ve physically seen a $100 bill. But every time I see one, I get excited. As you go throughout the day, imagine spending it 20 or 30 times. Say to yourself, I can afford to get (name of product you see or think of). What will happen is you’ll increase your financial well-being vibration by spending two or three thousand dollars a day. The universe sees that you are feeling good about money and will respond by giving you more of it. Why? Because here you’re focusing on abundance, not the lack of it. For years I rarely carried cash on me. My wallet was always empty because I was using my debit card to keep track of expenditures by recording them on Quicken (financial software). Every time I opened my wallet to find it empty, how do you think it made me feel? What do you think will happen when I see a crisp $100 in there instead?

2. Create a fake bank account on your finance software (i.e. Quicken) or if you don’t have one, buy yourself a ledger. On Day 1, deposit $1,000 and increase daily deposits by an extra $1,000. For example on Day 1=$1,000. Day 2=$2,000, Day 3=$3,000, Day 25=$25,000. Create at least one deposit and one withdrawal every day. Before you make a withdrawal, have some fun with it and do research. Find out how much something you really want costs. You want that high definition TV from Best Buy? Look it up and then go “buy it.” Do you owe money on your car? Look up the balance and pay it off! Pretty soon you’ll be feeling quite prosperous. The universe does not know the difference between your real bank or fake bank account. What it responds to is the level of emotion you’re experiencing. And if you have fun with it and “play along,” you won’t be able to help but feel a tremendous measure of excitement.

Several months ago I created a fictitious account and deposited $1,000,000. But I let it sit there, not doing anything with it. Even though I was looking at it often (because I reconcile my bank account online every morning), it was not generating much excitement because it didn’t feel “real.” Following the suggestions of Abraham-Hicks, yesterday I made my first deposit of $1,000 to this account. Then I looked up the balance of my car loan and paid it off. Let me tell you–it generated so much excitement that I actually felt abundant the rest of the day! The simple act of entering my first deposit and adding it to the $1M balance and then paying off my car loan in one fell swoop significantly ratcheted my “good-feeling” UP on the emotional scale!

I’m going to do this for one year and see what happens. Why don’t you try it? The key it to have fun with it. Let your inner child come out and play. Then watch what happens. You might want to keep a journal of what financial manifestations you start to experience after that.

3. Get yourself a “treasure box” (perhaps a cardboard box) and write “Treasure Box” on it. Every time you see a picture in a magazine of something you desire whether it be new clothes, a nice house, a big TV, cut it out and put it in your treasure box. Put the box in a place where you can see it every day. On the days you feel “down” for whatever reason, dip into the treasure box and look through the contents and re-inspire yourself. Absorb the energy it gives you and breathe it in. An alternative to this is to get yourself a bulletin board and tack up those pictures and words (or phrases) so that you can absorb the feelings your “vision board” gives you.

4. Look in your closet and wear the nicest clothes that you have in there. Wear whatever clothes make you feel “abundant.” For me I love wearing attractive polo shirts and docker pants (or shorts). It makes me feel prosperous when I dress in “business casual” clothing. Give yourself the gift of buying a nice outfit once in a while so that you can feel more prosperous with the clothes you have just bought yourself. Consciously decide that you will wear something that makes you feel good. And then wear it often. Why not?

5. Do you have a dream car? Why not visit your local dealership and go for a test drive? It won’t cost you anything. The salesman will give you a couple of brochures to take home. Then cut out pictures of your dream car and put it in your treasure box (or up on the vision board).

6. Go on a huge rampage of appreciation. Consciously appreciate the beauty of nature or send thank you cards to people who have made a difference in your life. Yesterday, I was at a small lake with a friend. The autumn air was cool but the sun was out in full force. The water was incredibly calm, reflecting the trees surrounding it. I drank it all in, consciously thanking God for such beauty. By the time I left, I was feeling content.

7. Tithe 10 percent of your income to whatever source (i.e. your church, a nonprofit group) that provides you with spiritual nourishment. What you give away, you get back.

8. Volunteer your time, effort and resources to help others. For instance, I like to mow the lawn for my church so when I am in town, I do it at least once a week. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of giving back.

9. Be truly grateful that success is happening for others.

10. Treat yourself to a very expensive dinner or stay in a fancy hotel for one night. Give yourself the gift of luxury and take it all in throughout the experience. This will make it easier to remember the sights, smells, sounds, feelings and tastes when visualizing yourself living that way later. It’s like taking your dream car for a test-drive. Because you’ve actually experienced it, you’ll have an easier time visualizing it.

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As you know, I am a big proponent on the Law of Attraction. We are 100 percent responsible for our lives. We draw to us people, places and circumstances. The LOA says that if we want good things to happen to us, the key is to FEEL GOOD. Feeling good raises our energy vibration, bringing us what we want for ourselves easily and effortlessly.

Take a look at a few things that make me feel bad and what I’m doing about them:

1. Budgeting does not make me feel good. People will tell you it’s a “responsible thing to do” but I digress. It only serves to remind me how much more money I want to have so subconsciously it sets in motion the lack feeling. What happens? I feel bad. So why do it?

2. Eating junk food makes me feel fat and causes me to experience low energy. If I eat enough of that stuff, I start to see results in the mirror, which makes me feel bad. So why eat junk food if you know it’s going to make you feel that way?

3. When I was a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch, I was obsessed with monthly sales quotas and if I wasn’t close to making them, I felt bad. So what did I do? I stopped looking at them!

4. When I don’t go to the gym for even a brief workout, I feel bad. In fact, I feel “guilty.” Why? Because I KNOW that if I go, even for a brief period of time, I feel better afterwards yet I don’t always do it because I get lazy or let “life” interfere. The solution? I discipline myself and workout even if it’s only for a half hour so I can feel better.

5. This one is my favorite. Comparing myself to others make me feel bad. When I do that, I feel inadequate and feel like a failure. So what to do? I stopped comparing myself to other people and instead believe that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I will get to where I want to go at the right time, under the right circumstances with the right people. That line of thinking always makes me feel good.

6. In the closet of my hallway there is a container of Tide detergent called Simple Pleasures (Vanilla and Lavender scent). I discovered this when shopping one day and decided to try it. Once I did my first load of laundry with this detergent and realized how great it smelled afterwards (thus making me feel good), I’ve been using it ever since. Who would ever have thought that a particular brand of detergent would make you feel good? Imagine how good it feels to slide under the freshly laundered bedsheets smelling of vanilla and lavender when I go to sleep at night! That means I feel good every single night when I retire, putting my mind in a good frame of reference regardless of how the day went.

7. What about when you look at yourself in the mirror? I’ll bet this one will draw some ire from the “I love myself folks.” Do you feel bad when you look at your body in the bathroom? Are your eyes drawn to those love handles that you’ve grown to detest? Does looking at them make you feel bad? I know it does for me. Instead of staring at those love handles, I now look at other parts of myself. Without being vain or egoistical, I do think I’m a pretty looking guy so I’ll say to myself in the mirror, “Hey, dude, you ain’t bad looking”! Then I’ll wink at myself for good measure. That always makes me feel good.

8. How about the people you hang around with? Do they belittle you under the disguise of “joking around,” making you feel bad? Actually, no one can make us feel anything unless we allow them to but suppose you feel uncomfortable or ill at ease around those people? You know, the people who give off “bad vibes.” You feel bad in their presence. What to do? I don’t hang around them! I’ll call up someone whose positive energy makes me feel good and go to a movie or have coffee with that person. My vibrational energy always jumps several octaves higher after taking that step. In fact, I feel a great sense of gratitude when in the company of a good friend who treats me with love and respect.

9. Are you the type who won’t buy a nice bottle of cologne/perfume? If you’ve hit a low snag for some reason, why not give yourself a nice treat, go to the mall and buy yourself your favorite fragrance? Almost every Sunday during church services, someone tells me “You smell good.” They’re saying that because I usually smack a couple dabs of “Tuscany” (by Aramis) on my neck. Looking in the bathroom cabinet the other day revealed I was running on low so what did I do today? I went to the mall and bought a new bottle. Did that make me feel good? Yep!

10. When I’m down for any reason, I’ll jump in the car and drive myself to the park and go for a long walk. I find that when I commune with nature, I come back recharged. I have more energy and I feel better.

In order for the Law of Attraction to work, it’s vitally important to feel good. It’s up to you and me to bring the “feel good factor” up a couple notches. No one else can do it for us.

When you feel good, you raise your level of vibration and you attract the right people, situations and opportunities to you. People can’t help but want to be in your presence because you feel good about yourself. When you speak, they listen to you. When you walk into a room, you don’t have to do anything to get anyone’s attention. Your “feel good energy” has already done that work for you.

So why not look for ways to feel good and attract more of the same? You deserve it.

Food for thought: What things make you feel good? Are you doing enough of it? Can you think of at least 5 things that make you feel bad and replace them with “feel good activities”?

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What I haven’t done was to offer a list of things that it is not. So here goes:

1. The Law of Attraction is NOT about sitting on your duff, hoping things will materialize magically. It’s taking immediate action when your intuition prompts you to do so.

2. The Law of Attraction is NOT about manipulation. For instance, trying to changing other people’s behavior – only God can change people, not you. The only person you can change is yourself. When you change yourself for the better, others can’t help but notice and behave favorably. This is what happened with my experience with “Harry the Bank Boss.”

3. The Law of Attraction is NOT about luck – it requires a bit of work on your part: in order for you to attract what you want, you need to look at how you think and perceive the world around you. Oftentimes it requires a change in the inner mindset to match your outer desires. For example, if you want more money but you consistently think rich people are devious or do evil things to make money, guess why you aren’t attracting any?

4. The Law of Attraction is NOT about living in “La-La” land – sure you can dream, I’ve done it all my life but there’s also reality. YOUR reality. Dealing with what you’ve got in front of you and balancing it with your dreams for the future.

5. The Law of Attraction is NOT about coincidences. There is no such thing because you are 100 percent responsible for the life you’re currently leading. What’s going on in your mind (i.e. your belief system, your thoughts, feelings and emotions) are being reflected in reality. If you aren’t happy with what you’ve got, then it’s up to you to change your inner thoughts to match your outer reality.

6. The Law of Attraction does NOT work for closed-minded people. If you are skeptical, doubtful or unwilling to explore the possibilities, it will not work for you. People who are skeptical tend to sabotage things, putting them right back where they started because they were not willing to be open minded in the first place. It’s about the willingness to increase your level of awareness and watch for spiritual signs, giving you confirmation like what happened with the butterfly who visited me on that one day: “Reaffirmation from the Universe.”

7. The Law of Attraction is NOT for those who think they can achieve their dreams alone. We all need help, encouragement from like-minded people. For the law of attraction to work, it’s imperative to find yourself mentors, form a team of supporters who believe in your dreams or mastermind with these people. Hang around with people who are far more successful than you and ask them to help you spot opportunities that will lead you to your dreams. For more information, see “The Importance of Surrounding Yourself with the Right People.”

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