As you read the story, keep in mind the possibility that everyone involved each had a divine role to play in accordance to a spiritual contract they “signed with one another” prior to incarnating on the planet.  They agreed to appear on the stage of life at a specific time to carry out their respective roles so that healing and spiritual growth could be facilitated.  When seen from a higher cosmic perspective, everything not only happens for a reason but a series of events unfolded exactly as they were supposed to.

Here’s what my dear friend Brandy told me over lunch at our favorite restaurant in town (Revelations):

A woman I know who is in her 80′s was at a family reunion where one of her nephews stood up and shared this story for the very first time.  No one, not even his wife knew about what he was going to tell them.   He is around 40 something now.  When he was a young boy of 13 or 14, he was getting quite good at diving and even had a shot of going to the Olympics.  One day, he was at diving practice at the high school swimming pool when a scouting coach spotted him and approached his parents to tell them that he thought their son had tremendous Olympic potential.  He said that he was in a position to provide him with top level coaching at a much more suitable training facility several miles away.

Since the parents were poor and didn’t have the financial means of providing daily transportation to and from those facilities, the coach offered the opportunity for the boy to come live with him throughout training.  Wanting nothing but the best for their son and excited about the possibility of him competing at the Olympics someday, they gratefully and tearfully accepted his offer and sent their son away to live with the coach.

What no one knew was that the coach had been sexually abusing him during the entire time they were living together (3 – 4 years).  Even though the boy felt so much shame and humiliation, he kept it a secret.   At one point the coach lost his job over sexual allegations but that didn’t seem to mitigate the increasing anger the boy felt inside.   As he grew into adulthood, the hatred he felt toward the coach turned into fiery rage, shame and humiliation, coloring virtually everything in his life.

The nephew tried to put it behind him by getting married and taking up a career unrelated to sports but the underlying rage refused to subside.  In fact, it reached a crescendo, threatening to overtake his sanity and completely ruin his life.   He couldn’t even bring himself to confide in his wife about what happened but he knew if he didn’t do something about it soon, he’d explode.

He decided the only way he could truly put this behind him was to forgive the coach for what he had done.  The burden of shame and guilt was getting to be too much.  It consumed every moment of his life.  The first thing he did after making that decision was to find out where he lived by searching online.  In the meantime, he somehow found out that the coach was actually dying of cancer.  His pulse quickened when he heard that.  He sensed there wasn’t much time left.  There was a sense of urgency.  He had to find him now before it was too late.

He called his wife one day from the office to tell her he was working late.  As soon as the clock struck five, he literally sped over to the coach’s house and rang the doorbell with visibly shaky hands.  A few minutes later, a very surprised but considerably haggard  coach answered the door.  After a few moments of stunned silence the coach finally let him in.   They went into the living room and sat down.

His heart pounding wildly, the nephew took a deep breath and reached for the man’s hands and quietly told the coach, “For years I hated you for sexually abusing me when I was a kid.  I carried around this heavy burden of horrible shame and guilt.  It got to the point where it threatened drive me crazy because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”  There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before the nephew looked into the coach’s eyes and continued, “I just want you to know that I totally forgive you for what you did to me.  What happened happened.  Nothing we can do about it.  It’s time for me to move on with my life.”

Suddenly a dam burst forth from the coach’s tired eyes and he began to sob uncontrollably.  It turns out that he, too, carried around the heavy burden of guilt all these years.  After a few moments, the two embraced and the nephew went home.   On the way back home, he noticed how the dark cloud that hovered over him for so long was now gone.  He felt light years younger.  An involuntary smile formed on his face.  He checked himself in the rear view mirror and saw that he wasn’t imagining things.  He remembered thinking:   “Mission complete.  Now I can go on with my life.”

But the the story doesn’t end there.

A few weeks later the coach died.  Two years later, the nephew received the surprise of a life time in the mail.

It was a letter from the coach not only telling the nephew how much it meant to have been forgiven but that he was bequesting his entire estate to him!  What’s ironic about the ending is that the nephew and his wife had been trying in vain to conceive for many years without success.  Now that he inherited the coach’s estate, they were able to use the money to adopt two beautiful girls who became the light of their lives!

What do you think the moral of this story was?

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What’s the point of life if you aren’t willing to play and take chances like making last minute, seemingly irrational decisions and fly off somewhere because your intuition told you to do so?

I just got back from spending an incredible week in London and I’m about to tell you all about it.   London was a place I had never before been to and is a place I know I will be visiting more and more frequently in the future.  Heck, I might even move there!   No, I’m not kidding.

As I sit here at 4:45 am writing this post (9:45 am London time), I am drinking my first green smoothie in a week (blended 2 fistfuls of kale, one peeled banana, 8 oz. water, fistful of frozen berries and 1 whole sliced apple – kale has a strong, bitter taste for the early raw foodist so throwing in berries and an apple made it sweeter).

While driving myself home from the airport yesterday, I found myself marveling at how everything fell into place so incredibly easily and effortlessly.    That can only lead me to believe this trip was divinely ordained.   How could it not be?

This is going to be one very long post with a some pictures so please sit back with your favorite cup of tea or coffee and enjoy!  I’m going to take you through the entire process, from the moment the idea was conceived to the very end.   Perhaps while you’re reading, you’ll gain some insights for your own life.   At the very least, you’ll vicariously experience London through this post.

The whole thing started a week before my October 29/30th Frito-Lay speaking engagement in Dallas.  One day, I was driving around town, running a bunch of local errands when I was suddenly hit with this thought:   It’s time to go to London.

Whoa, where did that come from?

Actually, to be honest with you, I had been in communications with a guy named Matt Monarch,  a well known raw foodist living in London with his girlfriend, Angela Stokes (also a raw foodist with an inspiring weight loss story of her own).   I had ordered some books from him at Raw Food World after which he sent a personalized reply thanking me for the order.   That impressed me and soon we were emailing back and forth.

As I was out running errands that one day, I was thinking about my conversations with Matt when the idea to go to London took hold.   It seemed irrational, coming out of nowhere yet it felt “right.”   At first I thought it was because of my correspondences with Matt but the more I thought about it, the more I realized God was reminding me to visit someone I knew more personally who also lived in London.

His name is Mike, who I had hosted while he was here visiting the states for a week twelve years ago.  His parting words were, “Whenever you want to come to London, come and stay with me, okay?”

While Matt was generous enough to let me stay with him and Angela the entire week, I felt much more comfortable crashing at Mike’s place since I knew him better.   So I contacted him and said I was hoping to come to London the first week of November and wanted to know if he was free.   That’s when the first of several so called “coincidences” began to show up.

His reply literally made me fall off my chair.   “Guess what?” he said.  “I’m off work that week – come on over – you can stay with me as long as you like!”

Arrangements were immediately made to book myself a flight to and from London but because it was so close to the desired departure date, available seats were priced astronomically high (between $1,000 – $4,000 for economy seats!).

A full day of searching online ended in frustration on a Saturday (about 1 week before the departure date).   The following Sunday morning, I decided I would give it another try and look once more.   If I found a flight for a reasonable round trip airfare, I’d book it, even if it meant driving to Detroit (or some other central hub) to catch myself a plane.

Boarding Passes from Detroit to Paris to London on Air France (partners with Northwest Airlines)

The second of many blessings came when I finally found a seat on Air France for $765 RT.   Even though I’d have to drive 3 hours to the airport and then fly to Paris for a 5 hour layover, I booked it on the spot.   I knew a good deal when I saw one.  I also couldn’t believe I was doing this at the last minute.

Whooo – what exhilaration!

As soon as I booked and confirmed everything, I realized that because the outgoing flight on Air France wasn’t going to be until later in the evening on Sunday (November 2nd), that would give me time to reconnect with old friends.

While I have many friends in Michigan, I was only able to visit with just 3 of them due to severe time constraints and the fact that they lived relatively close to Detroit Metro airport.

I packed only two bags for the trip.   One thing I’ve learned over the years was not to over pack regardless of where I was going.    That’s because I want to avoid checking my luggage, preferring instead to stow them in overhead bins.  That way I reduce the chances of  my luggage getting lost along the way, especially if there was a connecting flight involved.   The only thing I needed to remember was to pack enough warm clothes as London was reportedly cold, damp and windy at this time of the year.    It turned out that I packed rather well because I had all the warm clothes I needed!

On the day of departure, I met with 3 friends in quick succession.  The first was an old pilot friend, Jason and his wife.   He and I used to fly together when we were working at Troy Oakland airport in early 2000.   The second was my good friends John and Michael who have been partners for 12 years living in Royal Oak.  They provided a nice lunch including a ham and cheese sandwich, the first of its kind since beginning my raw food journey in September 2008.   The third was Jim, who I had befriended through a church I was attending while living in Michigan.    It was awesome to see them all.

Since I had to be at the airport at least 3 hours before departure, I had to cut my last visit with Jim short and head straight for the airport.    Finding parking, going through the check-in and security procedures all went smoothly, representing yet another series of “easy and effortless” events that would continue to unfold throughout the rest of the trip.

Flying on Air France to Paris was a hoot.  The plane was booked solid – just about every seat in the economy section was filled.   It was the first time I had seen movie screens on the back of the seats so that was fun to play with.   Although my aisle seat was comfortable and my neighbor was thankfully not a screaming child or someone proportionally out of shape, I could not manage to sleep on the red eye flight.    We departed just before 7 pm and landed in Paris 7 hours later, the next day.   Even though I was wired, I was very tired.

Paris Airport

After landing in Paris, I was surprised I had to go through yet another screening process even though I had just gotten off a flight and never left the building.   I went through it without a problem except when a Paris custom official asked me if I had any liquids inside my luggage.  Due to his accent, I misunderstood him and said that I didn’t.   He asked me to step aside and that’s when the question was repeated.   Suddenly, I understood he was probably talking about the “bathroom bag” where I had stored things like toothpaste, a small bottle of eyeglass cleaner, mouthwash, soap, etc.   The grim faced official said to make sure I took that bag out every time I went through the screening process.   With a weary smile, I said, ‘Yes, sir, thanks.”

Tired but wired and roaming around the Paris Intl Terminal

Then it was 5 hours of roaming around the  Paris terminal, waiting for the next flight to London.  Thankfully I brought with me gogi berries (a raw food superfood – they look like red raisins), cacao beans (raw chocolate, bitter tasting but great when combined with gogi berries), a few bananas, an apple and a bag of Kashi granola cereal.  That kept my stomach happy for a while!

Since one of my pieces of luggage had wheels on it, I was able to glide about the terminal, killing 5 hours of time.    Even though I was dead tired, my eyes were wide awake, absorbing the sights, sounds and smells of the Paris terminal.    Watching people in an airport is a quite a bit of fun because you learn so much just by observing people making their way to countless destinations.

Welcome to Heathrow!

Finally, it was time to board the flight to London for the last leg.  The flight was only an hour.  My London host, Mike, greeted me outside customs with a hastily made signage he made while waiting.  A paper plate was taped to some sort of stick (I think it was a pen or something) with my  name “Stephen Hopson” on it.   I thought it was the cutest thing anyone had ever done for me.  It was funny to see him waiving it like a limo driver trying to catch someone’s attention.   The moment I saw Mike, my bleary eyes gave way to rivers of tears, relieved to see a familiar face in a foreign land.

I had finally made it to London!

That’s when the adventures began.  After snapping a photo of me by the Heathrow sign, we entered the tube (which means subway in America) for the first time in my life.

Mike, my host in London, in the tube on the way to his flat. (Doesn't he look like someone born and raised in London?

Riding the tube instantly brought back memories of when I was living in New York City.   What fascinated me was how the people dressed themselves.   Most of them were stylishly dressed with scarfs wrapped around their necks, long/short black overcoats and sneakers (or black boots), etc.

The ride in the tube took about an hour to Mike’s flat (apartment).   Coming out onto the streets was an event in of itself.   A ton of people were rushing around often with worry and anxiety written all over their faces.    Even Mike walked fast – I practically had to run to keep up with him!

One thing I learned very quickly was to look the other way when crossing the streets because the flow of traffic was the reverse of America’s.   Instead of looking to your left and then right when crossing, I had to remember to do the opposite.  I had a couple of tantalizing close calls because I looked in the wrong direction.  Crossing the streets of London is definitely a hazard for the first time visitor!

Front Entrance to Mike's flat

Mike’s flat was nestled among similar-looking buildings that lined the street, very much what I imagined it’d be from watching all those James Bond movies.   Stepping inside, I was greeted with two cute little dogs that took to a liking to me within an  hour.   This was the flat I would call home for the next week.

As you can imagine, I slept soundly that night.  My bed was a large, comfortable couch.    Despite the 5 hour difference, my body adjusted rather well.   Believe it or not, I suffered no jet lag.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I did feel a little sleepy at times throughout the early days but otherwise felt great.  Not once did I want to take a nap and “catch up.”

First green smoothie in London (spinach, apple, banana, water, orange, tomato, ice, etc.)

The following morning I had my first green smoothie, using Mike’s blender.   Mike took an immediate interest in my raw food journey and we went shopping for fruits and vegetables my first night there.

The following morning I showed him how to make a green smoothie.   Unfortunately, his blender took a turn for the worst and burned out two days later because it couldn’t handle the load we were putting in it.  We managed to make green smoothies on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings before it petered out.  Mike is now looking into getting the UK version of the Vita-Mix blender.

We hit the ground running with Mike serving as my gracious host, taking me all over Central London for a week of sightseeing.

Buckingham Palace - what a sight!

I’m telling you, it was absolutely awesome to finally see the Buckingham Palace with my own eyes, watch a parade of colorfully decorated horses and their riders pass by and visit several famous landmarks including bridges, buildings and surviving castles.

We ate lunch/dinner at a handful of British restaurants and pubs and met with some of his friends.  We also got a private bus tour of the site of the 2012 Olympics.  As you can imagine, security was extremely tight – we were not allowed to walk around – we had to stay in the van the entire time.

Every single day we were out hitting the pavement so much that I hardly needed to workout even though I was prepared to do just that.   Now that I’m back to America, I plan to hit the gym beginning tomorrow (Thursday) after my mind gets acclimated to the 5 hour time difference.

You remember earlier when I said this trip to London was first precipitated by a conversation I had with Matt Monarch, the raw foodist living in the UK?    Well, even though I decided not to stay with them the whole week, we did make plans for me to meet them on Thursday night.   That required a 20 minute journey on the underground tube followed by a one hour train ride to Brighton.  By that point, I had thoroughly traveled throughout most of Central London with Mike showing me the way that I felt comfortable going out on my own, giving him a well deserved night alone at his flat.

Except for missing a turn (I walked from the Brighton train station to their house at night), I eventually found my way to the correct residence.  Meeting both Matt and Angela was an interesting experience after reading much about them.

Matt was an in-shape MTV hotshot who ate the typical Standard American Diet (SAD) consisting mostly of fast food and other junk.   He went raw 100 percent overnight (not something that is generally recommended but that’s his story) while Angela, on the other hand, lost half of her body weight on raw food (lost 160 pounds).   While Matt went raw overnight, she went raw gradually.

Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes in Brighton, UK

One thing I noticed about them was how their eyes and faces glowed.    They were the first 100 percent raw foodists I had ever met – it was hard not to notice that about them.     Both were gracious to spend quality time with me, catching up on things in our lives, including the latest in the raw food world.

At one point, Matt invited me to do an exercise with him which turned into a life transforming experience.  Facing each other on the couch, he instructed me to stare at his eyes for the longest possible time without talking.

So there we were, staring into each other’s eyes for what seemed like 20, maybe 30 minutes.   Then something freaky began to happen, making the hair on my neck stand straight up.

Matt’s face began to take on the image of someone else entirely.   I was like Holy Moley!  His eyes became darker while the rest of his face metamorphosed into the face of a very old Indian man!!!    It was both scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Matt broke the silence by asking what I had just seen.   After describing the Indian image, it was his turn to tell me what he had seen while looking into my eyes.   He had seen different colors around my head, including green, yellow, orange and I think red.    I’m not sure what, if anything, those colors meant but it was interesting nonetheless.   Several years ago I had done a similiar exercise during a Landmark Education course in New York City.   The purpose was to allow ourselves to express unconditional love for the person whose eyes I was looking into.   It was like looking into that person’s soul.

The London Tube (subway) system

I slept on the couch and left to go back to Mike’s flat the following morning.  I felt like a regular “Londoner,” expertly navigating my way around the tube system.  Of course, it helps that I used to work and live in New York City (16 years) with a subway system of their own.

Friday night Mike and I went to a party at a local pub where I had a chance to meet more of his friends.  It was like an International gathering of sorts because I wasn’t the only foreigner there that evening.  Many of them were not originally born and raised in London.   One of the people I became instant friends with was Dani, a teacher for the deaf in London, who was born and raised in South Africa.    I never felt so warmly embraced and welcomed the way I was that night!

Posing with the British Cops after the workshop.

Before I forget to tell you, Mike and I were offered an opportunity to participate in a workshop that David, one of his friends, was doing for the British police force.   David (far left in the photo), asked us if we’d be willing to role play with the British cops in a couple of exercises, the purpose of which was to raise awareness among the cops on how different deaf people communicate.

Mike was invited because he’s a profoundly deaf British man whose communication is at a different level from mine.  I was used because I was from America using an altogether different way of communication (mostly oral, using my voice).

To maintain the surprise, David instructed me to remain silent throughout the workshop until it was time to do my part.  He didn’t want the cops to know how well I spoke until it was my turn to role play.   You should have seen the surprise register on their faces – it was a hoot!

At the end of the workshop, I engaged in a terrific conversation with a young, pretty African American British detective (far right side in the first row) who role played with me earlier.  I learned that some members of her families were living in Brooklyn, New York and that it was her desire to join them with a new career in forensic science.    Let’s send her silent blessings, shall we?

By the way, while we were waiting to go inside the police building for that workshop, Mike and I hung out by the gates, waiting for David to meet us.   Unbeknownst to us, while we were waiting for him, we were also being watched by the British police from inside the headquarters.  Apparently someone (perhaps the Inspector?) alerted a couple of deputies that two “suspicious looking” men were languishing outside the gates and gesturing to one another (possibly two terrorists sending signals to one another?  Whoohoo!!).

Shortly before one pm, two plainclothes policemen approached us with a smile and told us not to be alarmed but asked for our ID’s.   It took a full moment to register what was happening.   Both Mike and I told them that we were deaf and that we were waiting for David to retrieve us for lunch before going inside the building for a workshop.

Just as I pulled out my passport, David came sauntering through the security gates, completely unaware of what was happening.  I immediately told the questioning policeman that the man we were waiting for had just walked out to get us for lunch.   It was a good thing I had my passport on me because I had actually considered leaving it back at Mike’s flat before changing my mind.  I remember thinking, “You never know.”

After the cops realized we were harmless, we all shook hands and went separate ways, us to lunch and them back inside the police building.   Even though I was calm throughout the process, I did feel slight aftershock tremors.   What an experience, let me tell you!

After lunch, the three of us returned to the police headquarters and signed in at the security desk.  Just as I signed my name on the guest log, guess who came bounding down the stairs?

The cop who had earlier questioned me!

And take a wild guess at what his name was.  Just one guess.

That’s right, it was Stephen!

Go figure.

All in all, it was a fabulous trip and I know I’ll be visiting London again very soon.   It was a most amazing experience and goes to show that you don’t have to plan everything to the last detail for a trip.   Somehow I brought the right clothes and had the right amount of money on me (British currency).  Except for the few near misses while crossing the streets, things could not have gone better.

If you’re interested in seeing the rest of the photos, you can find them over at my Facebook profile.  Simply look for the London 2008 albums (there are two of them).

Let me leave you with 10 observations I made while in London:

1. It was a challenge to maintain my raw food lifestyle so I had to adapt and did the best I could – I would say 50 percent of my food intake was raw food while the rest was cooked.   I made sure I did not beat myself up for that.  The key was to be as selective as possible under the circumstances and be okay with whatever choices I made.

2. The weather over there would not be suitable for those who get depressed easily – the entire time I was there, the sun only came out once or maybe twice.  It was overcast with intermittent rain, not to mention cold and damp.  But I did not mind at all.   I don’t even think that would bother me if I were to live there.

3. London people seem to lead a fast-paced life, similar to those in New York City.    Many of their faces appeared creased with frantic worry and hurry.   Everyone, even my host, Mike, was a fast walker.

4. The flats reminded me a lot of the apartments in New York City because they were tightly packed and wedged between buildings of all sizes.  Many of them have exceedingly small square footages.   Real estate prices were somewhat comparable to those in New York.

5. The streets were “curvy” – as they turned every which way, quite unlike those straight vertical and horizontal lines in New York.  Drivers sit in the right seat and drive their vehicles on the left side of the road (versus sitting in the left seat and driving on the left side of the road).  This took getting used to.

6. The dollar has been significantly weak against the British pound for quite some time so price-wise, I was at a disadvantage when paying for something because it was the equivalent of almost double in American money.  For example, if something cost me ten pounds, that meant twenty dollars.  I found myself subconsciously converting everything into American dollars every time I went to pay for something!

7. The British certainly know how to dress stylishly.  They have a distinctive look about them, making it easier to separate them from the tourists.    Although I think I blended in rather nicely (jeans, sneakers and a hooded sweatshirt), you could probably tell that I was an American (the camera hoisted on my belt was a dead giveaway).

8. Keeping track of what was what with British money was a huge challenge for it took me time to recognize the different sizes and shapes of the British coins.    It was hard to tell the difference between one pound coins and 50 pence (think pennies).  You would think the pound coin would be significantly larger than the 50 pence coin (since it’s more in value) but the opposite was true.  The 50 pence was larger than the one or two pound coins!

9. The British have different words to describe things like apartment (flat), subway (tube), check (bill) and gas (petrol).  These are the ones I remember at the moment but there were a lot more.

10. And finally, I would like to say without giving too many details that the end result of this trip has not only generated a load of new friends from around the world but it also created the possibility of a new business partnership.   More on that when things fall into place.   But before we go, let’s revisit the title of this blog post:

How Making an Irrational, Last Minute Decision Can Change Your Life

Did you think I did the title justice today?  You tell me!

Food for thought:  Taking risks and doing something as daring as making an unscheduled, last-minute trip can be quite exhilarating.

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This morning I was composing an email back to a subscriber named Barbara Ann Hartman who wrote, “……That will be an adventure for you, I know.  Are you thinking of moving elsewhere???”  She was referring to a string of latest updates here at Adversity University, some of which might lead me to an opportunity in another part of the country.

What was interesting about her question was that she wasn’t the first to ask me about this.   I don’t know about you, but I’ve lived in five different places in three states and one major metropolitan city since moving out of my boyhood home almost 30 years ago (Latham, New York).   As you might imagine, that calls for newly acquired skills every single time.

Thanks to the sense of independence my mother instilled in me, I am as independent as you can imagine.  While I don’t feel any pull to move anywhere at the moment, I do know that if I saw an exit for an opportunity and it felt right, I’m more than likely pulling myself up by the bootstraps and once again entering the highway of destiny and getting off at the opportunity exit.

Almost as soon as I graduated from high school in the late 70′s,  I moved to Poughkeepsie, NY for 4 years at Marist College (midway between Albany, NY and New York City).  I experienced what it was like to be homesick my first year but after that, I relished every moment away from home.  It was there I learned how to make my own decisions, structured my day the way I saw fit, became a student leader on campus (“Hopson Elected Lieutenant Governor“) and either succeeded or failed on my own dime.  It was a very interesting time of growth and learning. (Photo by Desolate Places)

The work ethic my father taught me as a youngster took root during those college years.  I rarely partied during the week, leaving that instead for the weekends.  Every time my roommate asked if I wanted to join a bunch of people for a joint or visit the Rathskeller, a bar in the basement of my dorm building, I’d invariably turn him down saying along the lines of, “I’ve got to do this term paper, maybe this weekend.”  That sense of commitment to my work would later prove invaluable during my future years on Wall Street.

Then I did something I never thought I’d do – moved to New York City where I lived and worked for 16 years (which was like the blink of an eye – VERY FAST).  (Photo:  gailatlarge.com)

After my spiritual revelation and quitting Wall Street in the late 1990′s, an opportunity came from Michigan to work on a book project that I thought would significantly enhance my newly chosen inspirational speaking career.   I packed all my belongings in a 10-foot Penske truck and drove a thousand miles to begin a new life.

A year later, the entire book project fell apart with stunning speed and I was faced with a new choice – to stay or to return to New York City?

I decided God wouldn’t bring me all the way to Michigan for nothing so I stayed put, taking on odd jobs and occasional speaking gigs, trusting I’d be led somewhere magnificent.   It happened on one morning when I made a HUGE discovery on the Internet that deaf pilots had been flying since the 40′s!

This momentous discovery brought my boyhood dream roaring back to life.  I knew immediately that was why I came to Michigan.  Not to work on a book project, but to learn how to fly. (Photo to the left was taken after my very first flight lesson in a Cessna 150).

I stayed there for 7 years until an opportunity materialized that required moving to OH to undergo specialized flight training.  After it was over, many of my critics were stunned to silence because they never believed in their wildest imagination that I would pull off something they considered to be impossible (Photo of me in the cockpit from this article:   Akron Man is First Deaf Pilot to Earn Instrument Rating).

That was February 2006 but I’m still here, in Akron, OH.

And now I’m growing somewhat restless again.  I sense the winds of change and opportunity coming soon.

God will take us on a journey beyond our wildest imagination if we choose to stay open and follow His will.

Food for thought:  What about you? What do you think are the necessary ingredients to respond to the winds of change and opportunity?  Risk?  Faith?  You tell me.

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On that morning, I was in my hotel room, freshly showered and comfortably sitting on the couch, using my new “Crackberry” to check emails and poke inside Twitterland before my talk.

It was the very first time I was truly feeling connected because for years, every time I left my home for a speaking engagement somewhere around the country, it was impossible for anyone to reach me until I finally arrived at the destination’s hotel.  Thanks to my new Blackberry, I now stay connected regardless of where I happen to be.

And my friends, THAT’S A GREAT FEELING!

So there I was, happily wading through emails and chatting up a storm in Twitterland when suddenly something thundered through my head.  From the moment I woke up until I sat on that couch, I had been toying with the idea of being introduced to the audience in a different, possibly more compelling way.

What if, instead of handing a typed introduction sheet to the meeting planner, I used one of the videos I brought with me to do the same job?  Wouldn’t that be more compelling?

Here’s the video I was thinking of using (if you are an RSS or email subscriber, click on the title of this article to see it):

Rumbles of excitement immediately burbled up inside me.  Another idea hit me:

Why not get some feedback from my followers at Twitterland and see what they thought of this idea?

But there was one problem.

I was using a Blackberry, not a laptop, making the search for the above YouTube video rather awkward.  And then there was the issue of copying the URL, pasting it in TinyURL and getting the shortened version of it (only 140 characters are allowed at one time).  All of this would have taken forever to do on the BB.  Besides, there wasn’t much time left before I was scheduled to give my talk.

So I did the next best thing – I went directly to Twitterland and asked for help.

First I sent a message to Kris Rowlands (a.k.a FreshFocus on Twitter) and asked if she would do everything I just mentioned in the proceeding paragraph.  All of which she did in less than a minute!

Not only that, but she was kind enough to provide the first opinion:

Good vid! Dang – u had hair! LOL. GIve it a go and see what TL has to say.

Not long afterwards, I heard from Mike Sansone (Twitter a.k.a. mikesansone) with a couple of messages:

Not only should u use video @ your events, we may also at @angelamaiers events as well! Your video is coming to Hawaii with us!

You continue to amaze & inspire. We’ve shared your bully story over & over. ( http://tinyurl.com/6ofc7z ) The video is great!!

Then Ange Recchia (Twitter a.k.a. angesbiz) of Melbourne, Australia chimed in:

Watching the video… inspiring! What is the intro for?

Ahhh… okay. I think it’s brilliant and a very good insight into who you are, where you came from and what you do now! Use it!

Well, what do you think I did after hearing those messages?

You got it!

And it was very effective.

Even the meeting planner told me at lunch afterwards that it worked (she treated me to a nice Italian restaurant just down the road from the hotel).

Food for thought:  Are you asking people for feedback on an idea and then following through on its implementation?

It’s one way to become a remarkable performer according to my friend, best-selling author Mark Sanborn, in his yet-to-be-published book that is destined to be another best-seller for him:  “The Encore Effect:  How to Achieve Remarkable Performance in Anything You Do.”  (Note:  I am mentioned on pages 26 and 27!  Pre-order yourself a copy!).

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But that’s another post for later this week.

After the service was over, we went out for a bite to eat and had a rather interesting discussion about his spiritual/religious beliefs, some of which I agreed with while I had difficulty wrapping my head around others (i.e. a wrathful God who doles out punishment).

At one point we were philosophizing (I love to philosophize!) about how God uses everyone as a messenger of sorts to reach out to others.  As I was talking about a specific instance of how I was used, I realized it had the making of a useful post here at Adversity University.

In September of 2000, I was looking for a part-time job to supplement my income while building a professional speaking career.  I had just left the world of Wall Street only a few years prior to pursue my newly established dreams of becoming a speaker, writer and eventually pilot.  Because I was still in the process of developing speech materials and getting myself out there, I needed to find a way to pay the bills.

It was right around that time I had a few months of flight training under my belt after having made the stupendous discovery on the Internet that deaf pilots had been flying since 1948.

By that point, I was taking flight instruction at a small one-man flight school.  But after several lessons, I was informed that Jason Barton (the flight instructor) had been offered a flying job in Colorado.  That meant he was shutting down and moving out West.  (The photo you see is a much thinner me standing next to a small Cessna 150 after my very first flight lesson on March 23, 2000).

An idea occurred to me that I should not only find another flight school, preferably a bigger one, but also find one where I could work part-time in exchange for steep airplane rental discounts.  I had gotten this idea from reading stories of pilots who had financed their flight training that way.

One thing led to another and I found myself at Troy-Oakland airport where I previously shared the story of a flight instructor who gave selflessly.  It was he who told me of an opening at that airport and introduced me to Susan, the personnel director.

An interview was set for me to meet two young men who were running the operations department.  For purposes of this story, I will call them Chris and Joe.

I distinctly remember the interview well.  Chris seemed pleasant but Joe was a bit guarded.  I could tell that Joe wasn’t all that enamored about hiring a deaf guy.   He didn’t seem to think I had what it took to be a line service specialist (i.e. fuel customer planes, tow them around and assist the mechanics with light maintenance work).  Carl, on the other hand, was enthusiastically full of ideas on how they could provide me with a text-based pager that vibrated every time a fuel order came through.

Despite Joe’s stiff resistance, I was hired.

As you can imagine, there was a lot to absorb, one of which was learning how to transfer thousands of gallons of fuel from the fuel farm into the trucks.  The learning curve, while not excessively steep, was a challenge for any newbie. (Photo credit:  Charly Mann)

One evening, I was out behind the fuel farm and Joe was there, watching me hook up the hoses and pull a few switches.  Of course, I was very nervous because I had all sorts of fears about what would happen if I made a mistake like spilling fuel or pulling the wrong switches.

As darkness fell, I had to use a flashlight throughout the task.  Joe was standing there with a smirk on his face.  It was almost as if he was willing me to make a mistake so that he could prove that I wasn’t up for it.

At one point, I asked him for some assistance and show me the ropes.  In an arrogant sort of way, he impatiently huffed and puffed his way through the procedures and literally dared me to follow suit.  That only made me even more nervous.

Needless to say, it was not a pleasant evening.  I had to shine the flashlight at his lips so that I could read them, which caused his ire to rise even further.  Thick tension hung in the air – you could have literally sliced through it, leaving a trail in its wake.

Eventually I eased into the routine and fell into the groove, no longer needing his unwanted attention.  Meanwhile, I was taking flight lessons from that flight instructor I told you about earlier (see the link above).  Apparently this earned me a bit of begrudging respect from Joe, especially after I finally became a pilot.  It didn’t take long after that before we became good friends, often flying together to a lot of different places.

One night we were flying back to the airport from a trip to Ohio (where I would eventually relocate to) when we experienced an electrical failure in the cockpit.

Unlike the photo you see at the left, instrument panel was pitch black.  All we could see was what was outside, the sprawling city lights, to guide us.

Now, this was not in of itself a catastrophic event because we were flying on a clear night but it required nerves of steel.  (Photo credit:  Dr. Engineer-001)

Since I had flown the first leg (from Michigan to Ohio) it was his turn to fly.  The emergency put him on the hot seat and I could see that his face was twitching, the likes of which I had never seen him do before.  The cockiness was no longer there.  This was for real.

I was instantly transformed from a lazy passenger in the right seat to a navigator, pointing out various cities on the way back.  A special flashlight was used to monitor critical instruments like the airspeed and altitude indicators, among others.

All of a sudden, we were a team.  Unlike the day I was learning how to fill up the fuel trucks, we really needed each other.  What a reversal of roles!  Obviously, we made it back safely but neither of us ever forgot the incident.  I would say this flight cemented our friendship even tighter for he realized I was one sharp fella in the cockpit after all.

A few years later, the airport management disbanded and sold the company to someone else who laid off virtually everyone including Joe and I.  Joe found another airport job and got married while I moved down to Ohio to begin my quest for the historic instrument rating.

We kept in touch mainly by email.  One day I received message that he and his wife wanted to fly themselves down to Ohio to meet with me on an urgent matter.

“We want to get some advice from you…it has to do with our baby boy.”

I quickly replied, “Sure, I’d be happy to see you two, come on down anytime!”

Arrangements were made to meet at Wadsworth Airport, a small field without an air traffic control tower where I had been renting planes for some time.  A date and estimated time of arrival was set.

On the day of their arrival, I excitedly drove myself to the airport and waited with anticipation.  Swirling in my mind were thoughts of what on earth they wanted to talk to me about.

Pretty soon a twin engine Diamond aircraft appeared in the sky, very close to the time Joe said they’d arrive.

It was them.

After Joe parked and shut down the aircraft, the three of us piled in my car and headed to Bob Evans for a bite to eat.  We ordered our meals and made idle chit-chat for several minutes.

My heart kept pounding.  I was impatient for them to get to the crust of the real reason for flying down to see me.  They weren’t just coming out to say, “Hello.”

And by the way, while we were catching up on things, I kept marveling at the fact that this guy, who once didn’t like me, was now here with his wife……to get my advice on something!

I kept watching for signs leading to an opening when it finally came.

From his wife.

“About our son……”

Here it comes. Setting down the fork, I leaned across the table.  “Yes?”

Taking a gulp of air she said, “Shortly after birth, the doctors performed routine tests on the baby and…….”

My eyes flitted back and forth between the wife and Joe.   I was stunned to see his eyes welling up.  He was definitely struggling to maintain his manly composure.  This was a guy who was not used to putting his emotions on display.

Suddenly, I knew what was coming.  I held my breath.

She continued, “Our son was born with a severe loss of hearing and we aren’t sure what to do about it.  We were hoping you’d give us some tips.”

There was a long, pregnant pause.  The air seem to crackle.

At that moment, my shoulders eased back and slumped.  It was similar to what people feel when they are finally told the truth after an extended build up of anticipation.

I spent the next several minutes sharing my own experiences of growing up deaf.  I talked about the possibility of getting hearing aids for him or opting for the cochlear implant surgery.  I described how I was taught to speak and how I learned sign language much later in life.

They were cautioned that what my parents chose for me might not necessarily work for them but that the options were there.  Parents of hearing impaired children have much more available to them today then when I was first diagnosed with deafness.   More ideas and tips were given to the very grateful parents.

Before long it was time to take them back to the airport.  I could tell the trip did them much good for they appeared much less burdened than when they first arrived – there was hope for their son.

The moral of the story?  It was no accident Joe was put on my path the way he was.  Without him realizing it, I ended up becoming his teacher.  Even I didn’t know why this guy was put into my life until that very moment.  It was so abundantly clear.  But it took years for the real reason we met to surface.

The universe is like that.  Mysterious, yet exacting.

Food for thought:  Have you ever had someone put on your path to teach you a lesson?  Looking back, can you think of someone who was put on your path so that you could teach them something of value?  I’d love to hear your stories of connection and how they panned out for you (or them).

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It isn’t easy taking risks, especially if the outcome could go either way. If you’re a public speaker, a business owner or occupy a position in which you are judged by the public, every decision you make will have some kind of impact on your success.  (Photo:  redfriday)

There’s much talk about the importance of carefully nurturing a public persona, creating an air of professionalism if you will. But at what cost? Do people hire you because you appear polished with perfect videos, perfectly created websites, perfect blogs?  Or do they hire you because of your authenticity?  Or both?

I am bringing up this topic because a dear friend of mine told me last week that if she didn’t know me and had been introduced to me via the contest video from last week, she would not have been at all impressed, especially with the kind of speaking fees I command.

To say at the least, it was shocking to hear this, coming from a long time supporter and friend.

She was speaking under the condition of a close friend, “Your subscribers love you and they aren’t going to tell you the truth.”

“But I will,” she said.

“What made you say that?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“When the contest video started, you were reading from something, not looking at the camera. That’s where you missed the opportunity to connect with the viewer. And then at the end, we saw an unflattering picture of your neck when you attempted to turn off the camera. Compared to the speaking demo tape (which was highly professional and polished), it was an amateur job and if I were a meeting planner and who saw that video before I got to know you (either through the demo tape or places like my speaking website), I would not have hired you.  If I were you, I’d take that video down immediately.”

Thrown for a complete loop, I sat in silence, thinking hard.  

Did I take an unnecessary risk by posting the contest video on YouTube (which has garnered well over 3,000 views and a stream of nothing but positive comments)? 

Or did I take a leap of faith and went for it, even though I did not yet know how to edit the video? (I still don’t).

It’s all a matter of perception. One person may see this as a foolish mistake, risking a loss of potential clients. Another might gloss over the imperfections and concentrate on the message instead.

Like the book publishing business, videos, podcasts and other forms of media are judged by an entirely subjective group of people. One publisher might think someone’s book has the making of a runaway bestseller while another might look at the exact same material and toss it in the garbage.  That’s what happened to JK Rowling, the world’s first billionaire author of the mega-successful Harry Potter series.   

A long-time subscriber who saw the contest video put it this way:

You have created a video that people LOVE and you have done that having only created two of them in your life. Perhaps I am biased because who you are and what you say and how you say it drums louder for me than the video protocol of which your friends speaks. I didn’t notice that because that wasn’t what I was looking for. Others who are tech savvy, etc. may agree with her and her feedback may have some substance. [But] you telling that story in the way that you did was incredible for a 2 minute time slot.

The purpose of this article is not to slam my friend nor defend my actions using comments from subscribers like the one above. I’m completely neutral on the subject matter. 

To be fair, I can see her point.  I do not envision very famous speakers putting out a video that ends with an unflattering shot of their necks.  All of their work is top-notch, professionally done. 

On the other hand, if I had let my inexperience with video editing stop me, I would never have given myself a chance to compete in that contest.  At this stage, while I haven’t won the most number of views (a couple of others garnered much more than I did), I am still in the running as the judges have not yet tallied up their votes.  I’m told we’ll find out very soon. 

Based on past experience, if you’re afraid of taking a risk because you think others will judge you in a manner that you might not like, then you’ll miss out on an opportunity to touch and reach the right people.  

Some people might or might not agree with my friend who called the video amateurish.  I know she was speaking from the heart and meant it with love.  I told her so.  But on the flip side, not everyone will subscribe to what the above-mentioned subscriber said either.   

So who’s right?

Contrary what you might think, I’m not trying to win over anyone to anything.  But I’m quickly finding out, especially at this stage of my career, the more I advance toward my dreams and take risks, the more I will encounter differing opinions about whatever I’m doing.  And it’s not the first time it happened either. 

A few years ago when I told a veteran flight instructor that my dream was to become the first instrument rated deaf pilot, he laughed at my face and eagerly (too eagerly I thought) showed me the FAA rule book to prove his point.  Was he acting in my best interests? 

That’s the price you pay for putting yourself out there.  Having said that, the question I have in my mind is will this contest video, in the long run, turn off potential clients?  Should this video be taken down once the contest is over and replaced with a more polished cut? 

Or should this video be left to its own devices, in the hope and belief that the universe will attract the right kind of people who are trained to look past imperfections and see a diamond in the rough? 

My situation is not at all unique.  We all face these kinds of questions at some point during our lives, especially when we shoot for the stars and possibly stumble along the way.  There’s always the potential of looking like a complete fool.  But one won’t find that out until the leap has been taken. 

In my book, there are no mistakes.  Only experiences.  There are no right or wrong answers.  

The floor is yours in the comment section. Please feel free to offer your take on this.  Let’s make this a fun, value-added and respectful conversation!   

Food for Thought: What’s your take on this? How far should you go in taking risks? What constitutes a foolish risk versus a daring risk that could pay off in spades?

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It’s miraculous how it came about because I almost didn’t take this one.

The culprit was FEAR.

The chain of events began back in September 2007 when I asked influential “Pick the Brain” (PTB) blog if they would accept an article from me on ways to resolve conflicts. To my delight, it was posted at PTB on September 24, 2007.

While the article generated a lot of visitors (I was at the old Blogger platform at the time) nothing major happened. But little did I know that it was making its way to the right people at the right places. It goes to show how the universe is constantly working behind the scenes to make your dreams come true. Nothing may seem to be happening on the surface, but there’s always something going on backstage.

The article somehow found its way to an engineer from a company based out of Latham, NY (coincidentally, that’s the town where I grew up). She was looking for a guest speaker to discuss ways of dealing with conflict at their annual January 2008 meeting. I think she googled “conflict resolution” and found my article at PTB.

Impressed with it, she decided to follow a link at the bottom of that article, which led her to my professional speaking website. Acting on intuition, she showed both of them to her boss, who apparently liked what he saw and asked that I be contacted via email.

They were looking for someone to conduct a workshop to discuss conflict resolution in the workplace, specifically dealing with difficult co-workers, subordinates and clients with a little bit of employee motivation thrown in. Would I be interested?

In response, I asked her to complete the online questionnaire from my website so that I could learn more about their event. When it revealed that the audience was going to be mostly foremen, superintendents, supervisors and engineers, my stomach tightened.

This was not my kind of audience, I thought. I usually speak to corporate salespeople, university administrators/students as well as spiritually oriented groups, to name a few.

Upon further research, I learned the majority of these men and women spent most of their working lives out on the fields dealing with the disassemble and repair of turbine generators in all kinds of adverse weather conditions, often putting them face to face with unreasonable clients, embattled employees and the like. All I could see in that audience were hard core, weather-beaten people with a groan written all over their faces.

A million thoughts ran amok:

• Will they dismiss my talk as nothing more than Pollyanna gobbledygook?
• Was this a test from the universe to see if I could turn down good money saying that the program was not the right fit for me?
• Or was it giving me the chance to pluck up the courage to take my speaking career to the next level?
• Would I be able I give a 3-hour seminar and deliver full value for the client when my specialty was giving much shorter keynote speeches?
• Could I reach into the soul of foremen, engineers and superintendents, all of whom have seen more their share of adversity on the fields?
• Was the feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me this was the wrong engagement or was it just plain nervous excitement?

One day I plopped down on my couch and said to God, “Please give me a sign whether or not this is right for me.” With that, I closed my eyes and became still for the longest time.

About an hour later, I opened my eyes and looked around the living room. I hadn’t heard or felt anything. But sitting right next to me was Divine Guidance, by Doreen Virtue. It was lying face down but spread open so that I would know where I left off. The book was beckoning me to pick it up.

Turning it over, my eyes were drawn to a paragraph that said something like:

Oftentimes people ask for opportunities and gifts from the universe only to push them away because their egos made them think they weren’t worthy or capable of the task at hand or that they don’t deserve the abundance it would bring them.

WOW!

I had my answer. Immediately drawing up the speaking contract, I emailed it to the client. Within 48-hours, I had a check in my hand for the FULL fee.

Throughout the weeks that followed, I worked diligently on creating a customized handout and put together a PowerPoint presentation. Day by day, I added bits and pieces so that I wouldn’t overwhelm myself with the enormity of the task at hand. Everything about preparing for this seminar was stretching the boundaries of my mind.

Shortly before I was to leave for Florida, I was ready, or so I thought. Even though the handouts were nicely bounded together and the PowerPoint presentation was safely stored on a flash drive, my heart was still pounding hard.

God smiled and understood. He had an idea that would set me straight.

After enjoying a delicious Mexican lunch with a couple of friends, we all went back to my place to hang out. Of course, the subject that afternoon swirled around the upcoming presentation and how I might use some of the well known YouTube videos to get my point across.

Suddenly in the midst of our discussions, my dear friend Joni made a chance remark that would turn everything around in a split second:

Stephen, all that is required of you is to show up and just be who you are. Be the authentic person that you have shown yourself to be and don’t try to be something you think those people in the audience want you to be. Just share your own personal stories with them and you’ll be fine.

OMG, that was HUGE! How could I have missed that? My Dad said basically the same thing a few weeks earlier while I was visiting family over the Christmas holidays.

For the first time since the contract was signed, I felt peaceful. Even so, I had a hell of a time trying to sleep the night before the engagement. I tend to get a little excited to the point where my mind goes into overdrive, trying to come up with better ways to give the presentation. My mind won’t rest until it’s over.

Peering into the hotel’s bathroom mirror the next morning, I noticed my eyes were slightly bloodshot but not enough to be noticeable. Thank God for small favors.

When I was about ready to leave the hotel room, I took a deep breath and sat at the edge of the bed. With my eyes closed, I imagined beings of light roaming around the ballroom, watching over me. I imagined them spreading love, uplifting and inspiring each person in there. In my mind’s eye, I saw everyone having a wonderful time. After several minutes of doing this, I was satisfied that I had done everything in my power to do what I was hired to do. With that, I got up, took another deep breath and walked confidently to the meeting room.

After the CEO introduced me, I immediately fell into the “twilight zone” where the words seem to tumble out effortlessly and I lost all sense of time. I felt imbued with an incredible sense of peace. Even the toughest-looking members of the audience were laughing, smiling and nodding their heads. Several came up to me at the break to share their own private stories with me.

In short, it was a success!

Here’s what I learned from this experience:

• God and the angels are like air traffic controllers who see on their radar screens where you’ve been, where you need to go and how to get you there. Asking for Divine guidance is like a pilot checking in with the tower. Your fears, concerns, problems and questions will always be answered – it is just a matter of listening.
• Break down the process of preparing yourself for an event into small bits and pieces and do a little bit each day. Don’t wait until the very last minute to put it all together. When you’re finished, just know that you’ve done the best you could and let it go. For instance, when I was done with the Powerpoint program, aside from the normal editing, I saved it to the flash drive and forgot about it. In the past I would have been obsessed with making it perfect, constantly fixing, changing and updating the program right up to the very last minute.
• You can’t go wrong with telling stories from your own life’s experiences. When people hear a powerful story about your life, they’re able to relate to you, regardless of how “hard core” you might think they are.
• In fact, don’t prejudge anyone on the basis of their titles. They are all spiritual beings having a human experience, just like you. If you speak or act from the heart, regardless of how you look or sound, most people will welcome you with open arms.
• Trust is all that is required of you if you’re guided to take a particular step forward. You do not need to see how things will play out in the end.
• You will never be guided to do something that isn’t right for you but at times you will be asked to push yourself to your true potential.

Food for thought: Are you allowing yourself to be who you truly are in whatever you’ve been called to do?

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………..I suddenly felt a strange compulsion to walk over to the bookcase…retrieve two green booklets on the very bottom shelf….turned out to be…personal diaries….not read since 1995….the year I made enormous amounts of money on Wall Street, was in better physical shape in my mid-thirties….not to mention countless of exciting bedroom escapades….But something else was happening….I was shocked to see a darker, more sinister side of me appear…. there were names of people who I have no recollection of ever meeting but they were supposedly my dearest, closest friends…….

Oh my sweet Mama! 

Did that sound like something out of a Hollywood movie?  Obviously I’m not going to lay out everything for the world to see but I’d like to share lessons gleaned from the diaries.   Also on this list are some of the undesirable demons I struggled with at the time.  

All of them made me who I am today.

4 Success Habits Capitulating Me to a Six-Figure Career on Wall Street

Intense focus- Each night before leaving the office at Merrill Lynch, I created a plan for the next day and then worked it the moment I walked in the following morning.  The plan included names of clients I would call, sales goal for the day, appointments with prospective clients and other things to keep me on track.  

Work ethic – Came in to work early (7 am) and left late (8 pm).  I loved the feeling of beating everyone to the punch in the office.  I guess it gave me a sense of competitiveness or maybe it was just the desire to kick start the day.   Whatever it was, it made me feel GREAT!  (Merrill Lynch Bull Photo Credit:  Travis S.)

Passion – I repeatedly wrote in my diary how much I loved the work I was doing.  The fierce fire in the pit of my belly gave me a reason to bounce out of bed and eagerly look forward to the day’s events.  

Visualization – Pictures of hotels in faraway places that I’d be staying at for sales-related sales contests were cut and hung where I could see them daily.  I also visualized how much monthly income I desired.  It was interesting, in retrospect, to see on some of those pages figures ranging from $20,000 to $30,000 a month! 

How I Got Through Tough Spots

• Prayed to a Higher Power – This was the year where God was officially recognized as my unseen partner in life.  This was a spiritual, not religious decision.  While I have always been conscious of His invisible presence, it wasn’t until 1995 when I truly communed with him on a daily basis, using prayer to communicate my innermost desires, thoughts, fears, emotions, etc.  
• Daily Gratitude- This went hand-in-hand with my new-found relationship with a higher power.  I was constantly seeking the good in everything that happened to me (even the challenging ones) and then finding reasons to be grateful for them.  It got to the point where I was doing this unconsciously, enabling me to shift from limited to unlimited possibility thinking.  
• Faith in Myself- Even though 1995 was my best year financially, I did encounter rough patches along the way, some of which severely shook my inner foundation.  You may recall the episode I had with the Grandmotherly Client from Hell.  That was the first major shake-up.  That was followed by the defection of a couple of very high net worth clients that moved out of New York.  My dairy was obliterated with fear-based thoughts about whether I had the ability to survive afterwards.  It taught me the true meaning of “this, too, shall pass.”          
• Found ways to feel good- Since physical fitness and nutrition was made a priority that year, I was in better shape at 35 then I was in my twenties.    Not only did I lose 15 to 20 pounds but I was also proudly sporting a hard washboard stomach for the first time!  A person who feels good physically is a person who is bound to feel good mentally.  Seeing how my reality became more favorable while in this state of mind, I discovered by accident how to deliberately find ways to feel good (i.e. eat nutritional food, exercise, watch the sun go down, imagine a cute baby laughing, send a handwritten thank you card, have dinner with a good friend, etc.).   
• Dealing with Disappointments- I had a number of close encounters with prospects whose net worth were in the millions.  Despite my earnest efforts, a handful of potentially lucrative accounts never materialized.  There was a school with a $6 million endowment fund that needed to be invested.  I didn’t get the account.  After being interviewed on national television (CNN news), one lady called to say she wanted to transfer $20 to $30 million worth of investments for me to invest and manage.  After wining and dining her to no end, she turned out to be a fake!  At first I was devastated but I eventually learned how to deal with disappointment by replacing negative thoughts with more empowering ones and move on.      

The amazing thing is that I had been practicing the law of attraction at the time without knowing it!  This lends credence to the fact that some people are able to attract abundance by default.  They behave, think and act like I did.  The difference between today and back then is I now practice the law of attraction consciously.  Back then I didn’t.  Interesting, isn’t it?

Lessons from Dangerous Habits

Excessive Partying- This was a leftover habit from my college days.  During the first ten years after college graduation, I was a party boy, frequenting nightclubs like Studio 54.  In those days, I stumbled around in a fog because I was still partying night after night with no sense of purpose.  But all that changed in February 1995 when I suddenly decided after a night of heavy partying that I was not going to do it anymore.  The incredible clarity I gained afterwards led me to the spiritual journey I am now on.  To use an analogy, I am like the person who suddenly decided to stop eating meat and become a vegetarian for the simple reason that the former no longer fit my new lifestyle.  (Studio 54 Photo Credit:  Mr. Konishi)

Self Esteem Based on Shallow Ideals  – While great things were happening that year, I still had a lot of inner clutter that needed cleaning.  As I was turning the pages, I was shocked to know that I depended on external things to make me happy.  For example, my self worth was dependent on how many messages people left on my answering machine, my bank account balance, the number of people who showed up for a party I threw or the number of times I scored in the bedroom!  Thanks to the life-changing decision, I began to look within for strength.     

Fear- This is was a big one.  One of the biggest was whether or not I would continue to survive in the jungles of Wall Street.  One day my sales manager foretold an ominous warning and said, ”…..if you’re going to survive in this business, you need to be opening bigger and bigger accounts!”  It made my stomach flip with fear.  I handled it by staying in the moment and doing the best I could day by day.  It was all I could do to stop the fear from snowballing.  

Lost of Passion, Enthusiasm, Drive – In early 1996, the pages of my diary was strewn with tales of lost motivation and the struggle to regain it.  It shocked me to read things like, ”I no longer work on the weekends and rarely stay late like I used to.”  Somehow despite the luck-luster interest in the business, I managed to survive another year with respectable earnings.  The lesson learned here is that if and when you lose passion for what you’re doing, what was easy and effortless suddenly turns harder than necessary.     

Special Note:  When I took my semi-annual vacation in April 1996, I had a spiritual revelation on the beach, the story of which you can read about here.  It explains, in part, why I was losing interest toward the end of my career on Wall Street. 

Food for thought:  Have you ever written a diary and taken a look at it lately?  You’d be surprised to see how much you have changed!

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Peggy’s list actually gave me an idea. While I’ve shown the following YouTube video before, I’ve never actually asked you to help me pass it along. According to traffic statistics at Adversity University, about 100 people a day stop by for a visit. If each one of you took a few minutes to forward this video to 5 people on your list, that you personally know would be inspired by its contents, that means at least 500 people could witness the power of three words that once tumbled out of a fifth grade teacher’s lips so many years ago.

As you will see in the video, Mrs. Jordan simply said three words, “THAT’S RIGHT, STEPHEN!”, forever causing a ripple effect that continues to expand even 30 years later. I have written a book with that title (which I expect to publish in 2008) and plan to do a bus tour that same year. By speaking of how much of difference she made in my life, this is my way of giving back to her and reminding current/future teachers that they are very much needed in today’s classroom.

Can you imagine if teachers knew the potential impact on their students the way Mrs. Jordan impacted mine?

Will you help me pay it forward? You are invited to do this a couple of ways:

1. Click the “Share” button at the end of the video and follow their instructions (YouTube provides three ways of passing this forward easily and effortlessly).

2. At the end at the very bottom of this post, there’s a “Share This.” Click on that and you’ll be able to forward the entire blog entry to people you think should see this.

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If you asked for help in school, you were probably called a “brown noser” or maybe a “teacher’s pet.” Perhaps you’ve heard someone say to you, “Quit bothering me and do what you’re told,” “I don’t want to hear about it,” “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “You’re so selfish, all you ever think about is yourself!”

After a lifetime of hearing those comments, we’re programmed to think we can’t ask for help or pose a question without appearing stupid. We become fearful of being met with one of those looks-that-could-kill. We learn very quickly that it’s not okay to ask stupid questions or appearing to ask for a handout.

So what happens later in life? We subconsciously hold ourselves back, afraid to ask, hoping someone will read our minds and reach out to us first.

Well, no one ever said it was easy to ask for what you want but the rewards are immeasurable if you just take that chance. No one has ever succeeded on their own – it’s impossible to. Not if you want to take yourself to the next level.

Several months ago, I hired a designer to completely overhaul my speaking website. When she was done, I realized there was something missing. I needed something that would boost my creditability as a professional speaker. After all, I charge thousands of dollars to give a speech. If you were in a position to hire me to give a motivational talk, wouldn’t you at least want the reassurance that your investment would be well worth spent? I know I would.

What was needed was a couple of video testimonials from those who were considered heavyweights within their fields who were not only well respected and well known but also heard me speak. After all, how could they say I was a good speaker with a good story if they hadn’t been at one of my speeches?

So I got to thinking who I could ask for help in that area. A couple of names immediately came to mind. They were Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines who is in great demand as a business speaker and author of critically acclaimed “Winds of Turbulence” and Mark Sanborn, another popular business speaker, blogger and national best-selling author of “The Fred Factor.”

Now, before I go any further, I want to relate to you some of my earlier experiences with asking for help. Yours truly has been accused numerous times as a youngster of being a “brown noser.” Due to my disability, I often had to ask others to repeat themselves if I didn’t understand what was being said, especially in the classroom or in social situations, only to receive a dramatic rolling of the eyes and a heavy sigh. After years of putting up with reactions like that, I eventually stopped asking because it used to be my perception that people just didn’t want to be bothered.

Boy, did I pay a heavy price for that attitude!

Little did I know that people, by nature, are generous and don’t mind being asked for assistance if given the opportunity. It certainly helps if you believe in yourself and demonstrate that you are someone with potential. People like to be associated with those who they perceive as winners. Even if you have a couple of flaws, they still want to help you because your likeability factor is pretty high on the scale. If you’re an authentic person, others can’t help but wanted to be affiliated with you. Whether or not they get anything in return (other than the satisfaction of helping a “deserving person”), they’re more than likely willing to lend you a hand.

When those two people came to mind, because of years of programming, I almost held back and didn’t ask. Thoughts like “They’re too busy,” “Don’t bother them because this would be too much trouble” immediately bombarded my mind. Fortunately, I had done enough reprogramming of the mind by that point to stop those thoughts from turning into an avalanche.

So I went ahead and boldly asked if they would be willing to do a short video testimony for my website. What helped was that I remained detached from the results. The worst that could happen was a polite, “Perhaps sometime in the future” or an outright “Thanks for thinking of me but my current schedule does not allow me the luxury of doing so, perhaps I could recommend someone else.”

Imagine my pleasant surprise when both of them replied favorably! With today’s technology, they were able to do it by using a simple video camera within the comfort of their homes, download it into a video file and send me an email attachment. That was all there was to it! You can see their video testimonials here.

Until I do a survey of clients who have hired me since those videos were uploaded, I won’t know if I was commissioned to speak solely on the basis of those video testimonials, but I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that if I hadn’t asked for their help, I might not have gotten some of those engagements! So I want to publicly thank Howard and Mark for the time and effort they took to do a video for me.

Is it easy to ask for help? Heck, no! Especially if you are asking someone whose visibility, popularity or earnings power far exceed those of your own but you won’t know until you ask.

What’s more, if there’s anything I’ve learned from asking, it’s that many of these successful people did not get to where they are today if they didn’t receive help somewhere along the line. So they really do want to help you, especially if they see you have potential. Everyone wants to be associated with a winner. Believe in yourself first and then go ask for help. Otherwise why should they believe in your potential if you don’t think you have any yourself?

Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t do it, then you won’t. Either way, you’re right!” Wow!

Food for thought: There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. If you don’t ask, you won’t get. People can’t read your mind – so why not go ahead and give it a shot? The worst they can say is “No.” How bad can that be?

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