It isn’t easy taking risks, especially if the outcome could go either way. If you’re a public speaker, a business owner or occupy a position in which you are judged by the public, every decision you make will have some kind of impact on your success.  (Photo:  redfriday)

There’s much talk about the importance of carefully nurturing a public persona, creating an air of professionalism if you will. But at what cost? Do people hire you because you appear polished with perfect videos, perfectly created websites, perfect blogs?  Or do they hire you because of your authenticity?  Or both?

About a year ago, I had my speaking website overhauled by a local designer. A month or two after the site went live, a couple of gigs came through, the value of which more than paid for the cost of redesigning it. The site was also instrumental in securing last week’s engagement (Orlando, Florida).

It’s miraculous how it came about because I almost didn’t take this one.

The culprit was FEAR.

The chain of events began back in September 2007 when I asked influential “Pick the Brain” (PTB) blog if they would accept an article from me on ways to resolve conflicts. To my delight, it was posted at PTB on September 24, 2007.

Last Friday night (11/2/07), a something extraordinary happened, briefly mentioned in a post the following day:       

………..I suddenly felt a strange compulsion to walk over to the bookcase…retrieve two green booklets on the very bottom shelf….turned out to be…personal diaries….not read since 1995….the year I made enormous amounts of money on Wall Street, was in better physical shape in my mid-thirties….not to mention countless of exciting bedroom escapades….But something else was happening….I was shocked to see a darker, more sinister side of me appear…. there were names of people who I have no recollection of ever meeting but they were supposedly my dearest, closest friends…….

Oh my sweet Mama! 

The Ask! Ask! Ask! article from two days ago generated such a great response that led me to Peggy Collin’s very helpful, “Ten Ways to Ask for Help Without Feeling Helpless.” I was so surprised that there was someone out there who actually specialized in teaching people how to ask for help!

Peggy’s list actually gave me an idea. While I’ve shown the following YouTube video before, I’ve never actually asked you to help me pass it along. According to traffic statistics at Adversity University, about 100 people a day stop by for a visit. If each one of you took a few minutes to forward this video to 5 people on your list, that you personally know would be inspired by its contents, that means at least 500 people could witness the power of three words that once tumbled out of a fifth grade teacher’s lips so many years ago.

The Abraham-Hicks book, Ask and It is Given, inspired me to write today’s post. One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is to ask for something we want. The trouble is those who were our early influencers while we were young (i.e. parents, teachers, siblings, friends, caregivers and/or authority figures) may have admonished us with a withering look that signaled that it was not okay to ask for help. (Photo credit: Amber Waves).

If you asked for help in school, you were probably called a “brown noser” or maybe a “teacher’s pet.” Perhaps you’ve heard someone say to you, “Quit bothering me and do what you’re told,” “I don’t want to hear about it,” “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “You’re so selfish, all you ever think about is yourself!”

You know, I want nothing but the best for those of you who are a part of the Adversity University community. I know how important your time is so I refuse to post just for the “sake of posting.” That is, until I am inspired or find myself in that creative zone where the words flow from my mind to the keyboard easily and effortlessly. This causes me not to write for days or sometimes weeks, even months until BOOM, I’m hit with something I feel is worth your time.

Today I found it. I stumbled onto a YouTube video that blew me away this morning and I think it will do the same for you. It might even cause you to experience goose bumps!

Do you know who this guy is? If you don’t, you will want to by the time you’re done with today’s article.

About ten years ago during the late 90’s, I was just getting started as a motivational speaker and author. Ravenous for advice, I went hunting for inspirational articles that were geared towards beginning speakers/writers.

Good ole Google swamped me with a dizzying array of information on that subject, which could have easily overwhelmed me. But somehow I was divinely led to Patrick Combs’ Good Thinking website. From the moment I entered the world of Good Thinking Company, I was hooked. Like a crazed crack addict, I kept going back for more, frequently downloading articles and motivational statements so that I could inject myself with more faith whenever I needed it the most.

Yesterday I wrote about how I dealt with a literary agency’s rejection over my book proposal for That’s Right, Stephen! At the end of that story, I promised to cut and paste an article (”Why Does an Agent Pass?”) written by a Rachel Vater from the Lowensten-Yost Literary Agency.

It’s about what goes on inside the mind of literary agents like herself who are faced with piles of query letters and book proposals from prospective authors seeking representation every week. It’s quite interesting. The source was taken right from her blog.

Take a look:

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Wow, what a week.

Isn’t it interesting how sometimes everything is flowing easily and effortlessly where you feel nothing could go wrong and then BAM! WHAM! you are hit with a most unexpected jolt, literally turning your world upside down?

Remember the miraculous encounter I had with a local woman (Katina) who was in the audience at one of my speaking engagements earlier this year? She unexpectedly volunteered to help me whip my book proposal in shape for her literary agent’s review and consideration. Her thinking throughout my presentation that night was: Hey, Stephen where’s your book?

Click here to read more about that fateful evening.

We all want to be liked and respected by others, right? We sometimes worry what people will think of us when we decide on a certain course of action.

But herein lies the problem.

It is impossible to make everyone happy with the choices we make. If you worry about getting everyone’s approval, you’d never get anywhere. You’d be right where they some of them want you to be. If you’re not following your heart and achieving your dreams, well, that would be just fine with them!

Being upfront about something in order to get what you want takes courage. Sometimes we have to part with private information that we don’t necessarily want other people to know about because it might put us in a vulnerable position.

Today’s story is about the time when I applied for my very first car loan in 1998 after moving 1,000 miles away from New York City to work on a book project, which you now know eventually fell through because God had other plans for me (to learn how to become a pilot).

Getting around New York City was really easy. Back in those days (1982-1998), I had a choice between taking the subway or a cab, riding my bike or as I often did, used my feet to get around town.

It was during the early eighties that I somehow lost my driver’s license. I assumed that when the expiration date drew near, the Department of Motor Vehicles would automatically send me a renewal form. Had I bothered to investigate, I would have discovered that it was my responsibility, not theirs, to submit the necessary renewal forms in a timely manner.

The majority of us have spent part of our lives not knowing what we want to do. We seem to drift aimlessly thinking that life is about paying the bills until we are presented with a set of circumstances that force us to sit up and take notice of why we are here. Some of those events are quite jolting while others represent a gentle reminder. (Photo:  WisDoc).

Have you ever had an “Ah-ha” moment where the answer you were seeking came to you in the form of a thought that flashed through your mind? You’re almost never prepared for it. You go into a situation thinking you’ll accomplish one thing but end up achieving something else entirely.

This story happened a few years after quitting Wall Street in 1996. I was starting over to follow my dreams of becoming a motivational speaker and author.

The decision to switch gears led me to one of the most challenging times of my life. Because of this life altering change, there was a heavy price to pay. While making the transition, I was struggling to pay the rent. But one has to eat, right?

One morning, the refrigerator and cupboards told me it was time to restock them. Making an ATM withdrawal of $40, the amount I had budgeted for groceries, I headed for the nearest supermarket, eight city blocks away.

In 1995, I was riding high as a Wall Street stockbroker. I had lost 20 pounds and was looking quite healthy. My clients were enjoying double-digit growths and I was making a handsome six-figure income. On top of that, I was winning sales trips to exotic places like Mexico and Bermuda, interviewed on national television and accumulating one sales award after another.

Little did I know all hell was about to break loose. The problem was I had no clue it was coming. What’s more, it caused me a lot of unnecessary worry.