It goes without saying that leaving comments at other blogs is one way to get your name out there but only if it is done correctly. The right way, in my opinion and something that other bloggers probably agree with, is to leave value-added comments. That means going beyond one liners like “Great article!” or “I disagree with you.” (Photo Credit: algo)

One-liners rarely foster authentic conversation because they aren’t really adding much of anything. if you liked the article, why did you like it? If you disagreed with it, what are your opinions? When you engage in the conversation fully, you are helping the blogger create a stimulating intellectual atmosphere for all kinds of people to partake in.

Blogs are perceived to be successful not necessarily by how many subscribers they have (although that is certainly one yardstick) but how active their comment sections are. In fact, I recently got an email from someone who mentioned that she thought Adversity University was successful. Curious to know why she thought so, I emailed her asking what criteria she was using to make that call. She wrote back and said it was because of the number of comments generated here. I thought that was particularly interesting.

Think about that for a moment……suppose you came across a blog that had only a couple of comments or none at all, what would be your first impression?

Here are 4 ways leaving comments at other blogs could benefit you:

Effective Self-Marketing Tool

The more you leave authentic comments at other blogs, the more your name will be seen by those who might not have otherwise known about you. If you left a particularly engaging comment, readers and bloggers who notice it are more than likely to want to find out more about you by clicking their way to your blog/website.

Here’s a quiz: Which comment would make you more curious about the person who left it?

• Great article!

OR

• I thought your article today was very interesting because for one thing, I could identify with the fear of taking a leap of faith into the unknown. I once had to face that toward the end of my career on Wall Street. One day, I had a spiritual awakening and made the decision to quit a lucrative six-figure career to pursue my dreams of becoming a motivational speaker, author and pilot. If it wasn’t for faith in God, I might not have taken that leap. Thanks for letting me share!
  

A Way to Make Money

I wish I could say that I made money every single time I left a comment at other blogs but it actually happened to me recently. Just think of the possibilities. If you have an opportunity to make it known what you do for a living and it’s appropriate, then by all means, put it in the comment!

One day, I came across an article entitled “The Movie Director’s Guide to Effective Teaching.” When I read it, I knew immediately this was a golden opportunity to mention that I was a professional speaker because as a speaker, I’m also a teacher!

Here’s an exact replica of the comment I left that eventually made me $2500:

Since I’m a speaker, I find that one of the most effective ways of teaching is by sharing personal stories. People remember stories, not dry facts. For each point I want them to learn, I tell a story.

As an example, one of my programs is the HEAR Principle (Have a passion, Entertain the possibilities, Authenticity (or take Action) and Remember who helped you. For each point I want people to learn, I tell a story behind each principle. It helps them remember.

Do you see what I did there? While there was nothing “earthshaking” about it, not only did I mention that I was a speaker/teacher but I also added value to the conversation by specifically explaining why I thought sharing stories was an effective way of teaching. I didn’t just say, “Hey, great techniques!”

While I certainly hoped that this would lead me to a speaking engagement, I did not expect it to happen so quickly.

Two days after that comment went live, a meeting planner from a very large trade organization based in Texas contacted me. She wanted to know if I was available for a keynote presentation later this summer for a conference to be located in Ohio that she was putting together. Two emails later, we booked the engagement with a check in my hand for $2500! Had I not left that comment, I would not have had that opportunity.

Imagine attracting ready-made clients simply by leaving genuine comments. You never know.

Foster Goodwill with the Blogger

If you are a person who is in business for yourself, sooner or later you are going to want to call in favors. Perhaps someday you’ll want some assistance from well established bloggers with the plugging of your new book or maybe you’ll need help with spreading the word about your products and services.

Who do you think would be more than likely to help you out when that time came? That’s right, bloggers who you’ve already developed relationships with. If you’ve gone out of your way to leave heartfelt comments at their blogs over a period of time, they are more than likely going to want to reach out to you in gratitude.

Running around and leaving a bunch of worthless comments at a slew of other blogs across the blogosphere isn’t going to cut it. Sooner or later, well read bloggers are going to notice your spammy behavior and by the time you leave a comment at their blogs, they’ll either ignore, mark them as spam or otherwise delete them.

Create goodwill by sticking with your favorite bloggers and become one of their genuine contributors. You will reap what you sow.

Make a Difference by Sharing Your Experiences with Others

If you’re looking for a way to give back, this is a great way to do it. Subscribe to blogs that resonate with your heart and become a frequent participant. Nothing is more powerful than sharing your own life’s experiences with others. What a great way to inspire and uplift others by giving a piece of yourself! What you give away, you get back.

Food for thought: Share with us some of the experiences you had by leaving comments at other blogs. Did you make money (directly or indirectly)? Did it cause a ripple effect within that community? Did you make friends with the blogger? Did it lead to an off the wall experience or did it transform your life in unexpected ways?

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Answer:  Surround yourself with people smarter, wealthier, more organized, more educated, more creative or even more resourceful than you.  And then learn from them!

How?

Answer:  By forming a mastermind group. 

Today’s article is a follow up to a post I previously wrote on this subject. 

Tony D. Clark wrote a very interesting and powerful article over at his Success from the Nest blog, “The Point of View May Be New to You.”  He expounds on how there might not be a whole lot of new things under the sun but that different people have different ways of expressing them, potentially reaching someone who might “get it” at the right time with the right words.  

Have you ever had an “Aha” moment where you banged the palm of your hand against your head like the actor in that V-8 TV commercial, “Wow, I could have had a V-8!”? 

Perhaps you’ve been told countless times something you needed to hear in order to go to the next level but for some reason you weren’t “getting it.”  Then one day you hear a motivational speaker, read something in a book, or overhear a conversation where someone mentions something and suddenly you have a light bulb moment.  Ever experienced that?  And then you wonder why you didn’t catch on earlier?

That’s because when the student (you) is ready, the teacher(s) will appear.

When you form a mastermind group, you are assembling a powerful team of potential teachers from different, diverse backgrounds, cultures and experiences.  When two or more people gather, your success quotient multiplies exponentially.  You are surrounding yourself with not only like-minded individuals but you are also affording yourself the chance to seize upon opportunities that you previously might have missed because someone in the group opened your eyes to the possibilities that hadn’t occurred to you before.

Borrowing from books like ”One Minute Millionaire,” “Success Principles” and many others, here’s how you can create one too…..

After choosing 3 to 4 people who are already where you want to be (income-wise, professionally, spiritually, etc.) as well as those who are heading in the same direction as you, make plans to meet on a regular basis (perhaps once a week) where you can: 

• Start the meeting by praying for spiritual guidance (summons the mighty universe to your aid).
• Share and then reinforce your dreams – everyone should have written down each other’s goals in a special masterminding notebook (reinforces the notion that everybody’s dream is important and reachable with support from the others).  
• Update the group on positive things that happened since the last meeting (keeps the energy level sky-high).  
• Speak for 10 or 15 minutes (no interruptions) while the others listen and brainstorm ideas for you (i.e. multiple streams of income, connections you need, etc.)
• Encourage others to stretch beyond any perceived limitations (helps with changing limiting belief systems).
• Hold one another accountable for previously stated goals, to-do tasks (keeps everyone motivated and on track).
• End each meeting with statements of gratitude (an attitude of gratitude expressed by two or more people is infinitely more powerful than one).

When you form the right mastermind group, things can happen very fast.  Let me give you a couple of examples of what has developed already:

1. An idea of a product that will be used in back-of-the-room sales at speaking engagements has already been professionally drawn on paper and we are now in talks with a couple of manufacturers overseas.  Who would ever have thought we’d be in talks with a foreign manufacturer so soon?!?
2. I am in negotiations with another member of the group to act as a consultant for my speaking business – someone who will help me with things like marketing, booking of speaking engagements and everything else that an assistant does.  Prior to that, I was a one man operation at Obstacle Illusions (name of my business)!  Even though I was planning on getting an assistant (eventually), I had no idea where to find someone who was in a position to take on the commissioned based  position!  A contract is being drawn up and we expect to commence within the next few weeks! 

Here’s a recent photo of my masterminding group:    

Left to right:  Monica Taylor, Stephen Hopson, Shelley Kimberly and Myron Brown.  (Photo Credit:  Monica Taylor)

Food for thought:  Are you a part of a masterminding group dedicated to your enormous success?

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The word “networking” sometimes conjures up the image of the overeager “networker wanna-be” excitedly running from person to person with a stack of business cards, hurriedly passing them out to anyone polite enough to take one and then without so much of a cursory glance and barely a word, rushes on to the next taker.

Nah, not for me.  I may be an outgoing and gregarious person, but I prefer meeting in smaller, intimate settings.  Perhaps meeting a handful of people over coffee rather than at those huge and impersonal Chamber of Commerce networking events.

And I prefer to substitute the word “networking” with “relationship building.”   Isn’t that what you’re trying to do anyway?  Build personal relationships?  Getting to know others and finding ways to help them?  Ben Stein, the writer, actor and game show host once said:

Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.

Last week I attended my first-ever Akron/Cleveland Bloggers meet-up at a coffee shop.  With the exception of two or three people I previously met, everyone else was a total stranger.  Yet I went because I knew it would be a small, intimate gathering where all of us would have an opportunity to participate and share tips about blogging.  Instead of rushing around a room frantically passing out business cards, we drank coffee under leisurely settings, introduced ourselves, shared tips and had a good time.

In the end, I gained several new friends and a truckload of blogging tips – a win-win situation for everyone who took time out of their busy schedule to attend.

Here’s a photo:

From left to right (top to bottom):  Ron McDaniel (Buzzoodle), Stephen Hopson (who?), Deborah Chaddock Brown (Bizinformer), Ivana S. Taylor (Strategy Stew), Mark Pinto (Mark Pinto Group), Deb Estep (Deb_Inside), Patti Renner (Copywriter) and Chris Brown (Branding & Marketing Blog).  (Not in photo – Ron Finklestein).

Now, this, to me, is what relationship building should be about.  These small intimate gatherings empowers you by empowering others, leading to new ideas, new opportunities, new friendships, new clients and new referrals.

Shortly after I wrote this post, I decided, out of curiosity, to do a google search and was surprised (or maybe not so surprised) to find an article “Why is Networking a Dirty Word?” by Ramit Sethi.  I found it to be an interesting read, particularly at the end where winners of a contest he was running responded with some of their best and worst networking stories.

Food for thought:  What do YOU think networking is about?

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Do you consider yourself a likeable person? Tim Saunders, a former Yahoo executive and popular business speaker, made “The Likeability Factor” a household phrase with his best-selling book of the same title. I haven’t read it but I heard it was a good read.

While your expertise certainly helps, that’s not why people ultimately do business with you. All the advertising in the world might get you some attention in the beginning but it’s usually a waste of money in the long run. While a lot of businesses seem to be offering similar products and services, I still stand by my article, “There’s No Such Thing as Competition.” What makes you stand out is your likeability factor.

People do business with you because they like you. How you relate to others is now more important then ever. If you exude a personality that exhibits any degree of the likeability factor, they will want to work with you not necessarily because your products and services are any more colorful, functional or superior. It’s not what you know but how much people like you.

Are you an upbeat individual with a firm handshake and a genuine smile? If so, they will want to be infected with your positive energy. Are you someone who’s articulate, a good listener and one who shows empathy for others? Then people will want to do business with you because they are buying YOU. They want a bit of that essence you exude and take a little piece of you home with them.

Look at what happened with Bill Gates. He dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft with buddy Paul Allen. At one point, IBM asked them to create some kind of DOS program. Do you think IBM was asking them to do it because of their “expertise”? They were two young geeks at the time for goodness sake! They actually had no clue on how to do it but IBM commissioned them to create the program anyway because their likeability factor was very high. The rest is history.

Yesterday, I went into the Pollack Studios in South Euclid, Ohio to have some new pictures taken for this blog, my speaking website as well as new business cards. Wendy, the “Goddess of Networking” introduced me to him. The first thing I remember was the way Mr. Pollack shook my hand with both of his and how he looked at me squarely in the eye with a kind smile on his face. Throughout the photo shoot, he asked me questions about my speaking business and genuinely seemed interested in me, taking time to stop what he was doing to listen and respond. He made me feel like the most important person in the world. By the time we were finished, I couldn’t help but wanting to continue to do business with Mr. Pollack because his likeability factor was very high. In fact, I liked him so much that I want you to know about him. If you’re in need of new photos (whether digitial or print), please stop by his website or contact him (216-381-2001 or drop him an email at JLPPHOTOG(at)aol.com). You won’t regret it.

Could I have gone out and bought myself a digital camera and done it myself? Sure. Piece of cake. With the invention of digital cameras, the photography business has been permanently altered. Investing in a digital camera these days makes almost too easy to bypass a professional photographer’s services. But Mr. Pollack has been able to stay in business by differentiating himself through the likeability factor.

Here’s my take on what makes your likeability factor go up:

1. You are the real deal. People want to be in the presence of genuine personalities. It’s easy to spot a fake person a mile away. You’re more willing than most to show the vulnerable side of you because you have no need to provide layers of insulation, pretending that you have “it.” People respect real people, not arrogant pricks who pretend to be high and mighty like the anonymous guy on the Internet who calls himself “The Rich Jerk.”

2. Your emotional intelligence is very high. You’re great at validating other people’s feelings and emotions. You really care about others and they sense that the moment you walk into the room.

3. People have no trouble understanding you because you are a conscientious communicator. You keep them informed, even when the news is bad or when you stumble and fall. It’s been proven that doctors who fess up their errors are rarely sued for gross incompetence as opposed to those who try to cover up.

4. You have superior listening skills. There’s nothing more exciting than to be truly heard. The eyes of likeable people are riveted onto you, making you feel like the most important person in the room.

5. You are comfortable in your own skin, giving others permission to be comfortable with you.

6. You have integrity, making it super easy for people to trust you. Would you buy from someone you didn’t trust?

If you have the likeability factor, you’ll have no trouble doing brisk business. People will be drawn to you like magnet because you are perceived to be a winner. They end up becoming your human advertisers, spreading the word because your likeability factor is quite high.

How cool is that?!?

Food for thought: How is your likeability factor today?

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How about you? Do you walk the talk? Do you find yourself doling out advice and then following it yourself? Or do you preach one thing but behave in a contrary manner?

One of the things I most admire in other people is their level of authenticity. Because I respect people of this stature and want to emulate this character trait, I am very conscientious of my own behavior and monitor whether I also “walk the talk.” If there’s anything that makes me want to vomit, it’s being in the presence of hypocrites. You can spot them a mile away.

A few days ago, I wrote “Pimping the so-called Competition.” In that article and another one (see here), I emphasized that there is no such thing as competition. Why? Because it’s all a matter of how we perceive things. It’s actually very smart business to help others out there, especially if their work truly inspires you. If you understand and respect the spiritual law of giving and receiving, then this concept will make perfect sense!

Mindful of the need to stay true to my words from the other day, I’ve decided to take the art of pimping to another level today. On the upper left hand corner, is a photo of a fellow self development writer, speaker and author that I’ve had the good fortune to become friends with recently. His name is Phil Gerbyshak from Make it Great!

While I’ve read a lot of Phil’s articles, there was one that touched me to the core, making me want to pimp the hell out of him. He wrote a beautiful, touching story of his experiences as a young boy who faced adversity along the way: “The Power of Positive Thinking.” You’ll find that he writes from the heart and shares his innermost thoughts, fears and beliefs, telling himself over and over again, “I can do it.” It’s worth your time to read it.

What did you think of it? Did it remind you of your own life’s experiences?

Food for thought: Do you walk the talk? Have you thought about taking the art of pimping to another level and telling the world about someone who truly made a difference in your life? Why not do it in an unconventional way, surprising, even shocking people?

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Tonight, I have an another opportunity to touch upon this subject. I stumbled onto a very informative blog called “A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing” by JA Konrath. Even though Konrath happens to be a mystery-thriller author, his material applies to everyone who dreams of getting published. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. While I realize some of you may not necessarily want to be an author, I am sharing one of his articles because it touches upon the competition issue. We’ll get to his piece in a moment.

Many of us have cultivated a set of erroneous beliefs that we need to be stronger, faster, smarter, prettier or thinner in order to get our hands on the “prize.” Remember the opera singer in that YouTube video? Even though he was surrounded by others who were also vying for the top prize, he was truly in a class all by himself. If you missed it, you can see it here.

Society teaches us that there are only winners and losers. We’re also taught that there isn’t enough to go around. But the truth of the matter is we attract what we are thinking. If you think you will experience competition, that will be your experience. It’s the same thing with the idea of scarcity or winning/losing.

You might be thinking, “Well, Stephen, what about those people who didn’t win?” “Isn’t it a fact that only one person got the top prize, while everybody else lost?” “Isn’t that by definition competition?”

It’s all a matter of perception. The ones who didn’t get selected were not meant to get it. The universe had other plans in store for them. Perhaps they will succeed at another event, leading them to even bigger things. Maybe they will be led down a path they were supposed to be on in the first place. It could be that the timing wasn’t right. From a cosmic, spiritual point of view, everything happens for a reason and therefore, there’s no such thing as competition. Take my speaking career as an example…….

I’ve not, to my knowledge, had to “compete” for a speaking engagement because I’ve never had to answer to a bunch of decision makers sitting around a table, trying to decide who to hire because I haven’t attracted those kinds of clients.

The universe attracts the right kind of clients to me because my life’s experiences cannot be claimed by anyone else – they are my unique signature stories. There are certain corporations, colleges/universities, nonprofit organizations that are looking for what I have to offer. They find me in an easy and effortless manner. They are drawn to the unique blend of my life’s experiences along with my speaking voice (go to my website and see the clips if you haven’t been there before and you’ll see what I mean), which puts me in a class of my own. Now, while not everyone will like my style, my personality or even my voice, there’s still plenty of business to go around because there are those who believe in their heart that I am right for them.

Almost all of my speaking engagements have come through word of mouth, networking and/or through the presence of my website. I’ve not had to “fight my way for a speaking engagement” for the fear of being beaten out by another speaker. Either people want to hire me or they don’t. It’s that simple!

It is because of this way of thinking that I have absolutely no qualms about promoting other speakers, even if they talk about the same kind of topics that I speak on. In “No Such Thing As Competition,” I wrote about Wendy, a speaker/writer from the Creations Thought blog and have mentioned numerous other speakers before and since that article. And you know what? Virtually all of them have reciprocated in one way or another. Either they gave directly back to me or someone else did.

Let’s turn to Konrath’s cleverly titled article, “Pimping.” Here is an author who actually goes out of his way and “pimps” other authors’ books, giving booksellers and book buyers a reason to buy them!

Why?

Because it is smart business. Think about how you would feel if someone you originally perceived as a “competitor” was out there promoting you and/or your products/services? Wouldn’t you feel grateful enough to want to return the favor? Of course, I’m assuming you’re like the majority of human beings with sufficient emotional intelligence and not some cold, heartless uncaring person. Most people would be so grateful they’d bend over backwards to reciprocate. It can’t be helped. It’s the old “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” kind of thing.

The pimping concept has merit because it is applicable regardless of what you do in life. You could pimp your co-worker by heaping praises on that person in front of the boss or a big client. Or you could pimp a fellow speaker, author, blogger, business person, pilot, teacher, sibling, etc. You get the idea.

Here’s an excerpt out of Konrath’s article:

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Whether they are there briefly or for several years, I’ve learned a thing or two along the way:

1. Listen with your eyes (stay focused on the person talking to you – don’t let them wander – if you have A.D.D., force yourself to stay focused and don’t interrupt!)

2. Help them get what they want without any expectation of return (Zig Ziglar says if you help just enough people get what they want, you will get what you want – but you have to help them FIRST).

3. Give them sincere recognition and thanks by sending unexpected thank you notes, taking them out for dinner or stopping by their place of business/home and saying “hello.”

4. Mean what you say – let your spoken words be worth its weight in gold. If you say you will do something, then do it. Action speaks louder than words – demonstrate integrity. People should understand that they don’t need a contract to do business with you…a firm handshake should suffice (unfortunately, this isn’t much of an option in today’s litigatious society. But you can certainly try and build your reputation on that).

5. Recognize that each character in the play of your life is there to teach or show you something. You could be shown the light at the end of the tunnel or courage you never knew you had. You could be given the opportunity to go in a different direction with your life that you hadn’t thought of before.

You get the idea….

Food for thought: Have you helped anyone this week? Recognized them for their talents? Did what you said you would do? Do you see each new person in your life as someone who has a potentially life changing message for you?

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Can you think of all the people in your life who helped you, especially when you were experiencing adversity or when you were at a crossroad of sorts?

Was it……

• a teacher like Mrs. Jordan who said the right thing at the right time?
• the person who wrote a glowing recommendation letter that won you a major scholarship or admission to your school of choice?
• mentors who appeared at just the right time to guide you personally and professionally?
• the gatekeeper who put your important phone call through to the company bigwig?
• a friend who consoled you through a painful time?
• a stranger who did you an extraordinary act of kindness?
• someone who opened the door for you, leading to incredible opportunities?
• the minister who listened to you for hours?
• family members who’ve supported you with love and encouragement?
• your boss who backed you up in the midst a major corporate crisis that threatened to put you out of a job?

Why not become extraordinary, stand out from the crowd and send these people handwritten notes, thanking them for something they did for you? It will cause a few raised eyebrows, guaranteed.

You say you already sent them an email thanking them? Well, that’s nice but it doesn’t really count.

I’m not saying email should never be used to thank people. In fact, we’ve all done it and we will continue to do it. It’s too easy not to.

Yes, you’re very busy. It takes time to write notes. In fact, it just might make your hand hurt since you’re probably so used to typing on a keyboard or dicating into a machine.

If you think about it a moment, the people who helped you were also busy; yet they found the time to guide you, listen to you, write a letter on your behalf, etc. Imagine the ripple effect your handwritten card would have on them. It would mean much more because they know you’re a busy person. Wouldn’t you agree?

Just a simple note will suffice:

“Joe, It’s been many years since I’ve seen you but I never forgot what you did for me when I was towards the end of my career at ABC company. You helped me get started with my new speaking career by hiring a professional speech coach and writing a recommendation letter. Thank you Joe. Warm regards, Carl.”

I’ll bet “Joe” was very surprised to hear from “Carl” since so many years went by. There are no statue of limitations on thank you notes. Hint: This actually happened to me several years ago and someone is about to get a surprise card from me this week!

Here are some rules I go by when I want my thank you’s to really count:

• substitute handwritten notes in place of email for significant deeds
• use blank cards (not the preprinted ones where you sign your name and be done with it)
• insert your business card (especially if it has a photo on it – they’ll love it!)
• send a card to each family member and watch their eyebrows go up-they’ll never expect it
• keep it short and sweet-don’t blubber your eyes out and cause the ink to run amok
• it’s never too late to send a thank you card (I just wrote one to my fifth grade teacher from over 30 years ago)

When you get into the habit of expressing gratitude in a heartfelt way, you subconsciously attract more of what you thanked them for. You bring into your life more people who will help you, especially in times of adversity. More importantly, you become more apt to give back and help others, allowing the universal cycle of giving and receiving to continue unfettered.

Food for thought: Imagine you are going to spend a lot of time with one of two people in a professional or personal setting. One person unexpectantly sent you a personal note of thanks. The other did not. They are both of equal background, similiar personalities, etc. Which one would you choose to spend time with?

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“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down” – Oprah Winfrey

Last night I had a small party for friends from my church. I was fortunate to have a group of people who enjoyed themselves to the fullest without any air or pretense or expectation. Laughter came easily. We all felt comfortable in each other’s presence. It was a wonderful feeling.

Are you feeling alone? Join a church. Become a member of Toastmasters if you want to be a better public speaker. What about local civic groups including but not limited to Kiwanis, Lion’s or Rotary clubs? They provide wonderful networking as well new friendship opportunities.

When you go to these functions, go with the mindset of helping others. Become a matchmaker and bring people together without any expectation of return. Believe me, if you let go and let God, you will experience incredible abundance in return; however, you must make sure your heart is in the right place – otherwise the universal law of giving and receiving will not be complete.

How can you tell if they are genuine? Watch their behavior. I ask myself the following questions about people who come into my life (and be sure to put yourself in another person’s shoes asking the same questions about you!).

Listen to how they speak. When you hold a conversation with them, is it all one-way? Or do they take time to listen to you? Do they appear to have your heart at interest when they’re really trying to make a name for themselves? How do they treat you – with respect or do they treat you like a child?

Are they controlling and manipulative? When you confront them about this behavior, do they try to turn things around by saying that they were “just kidding” or make it look like it was your fault or say you’re “imagining things?”

Are they willing to listen to your constructive criticism and take them at heart?

When you make a suggestion, do they act condescending or do they respect your opinions?

Are their behaviors congruent with what they say? Do they maintain integrity? Do they do what they say?

Do they really care about your achievements or do they appear jealous? Are they constantly telling you to see the big picture when they themselves aren’t seeing it?

Listen to your intuition about the other person. If you feel a tightening of your stomach, your heart picks up a beat and you feel drained when around a certain person, your spirit is trying to tell you something. Listen to it. You may have to let go of that person with love. Find a way to move on without burning any bridges.

Let me ask you: Are your friends willing to take the bus with you when things go down the tubes?

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