About a year ago, I had my speaking website overhauled by a local designer. A month or two after the site went live, a couple of gigs came through, the value of which more than paid for the cost of redesigning it. The site was also instrumental in securing last week’s engagement (Orlando, Florida).

It’s miraculous how it came about because I almost didn’t take this one.

The culprit was FEAR.

The chain of events began back in September 2007 when I asked influential “Pick the Brain” (PTB) blog if they would accept an article from me on ways to resolve conflicts. To my delight, it was posted at PTB on September 24, 2007.

Seth Godin wrote an interesting article, The Scarcity Shortage, where he wrote in part, “So what’s scarce now? Respect. Honesty. Good judgment. Long-term relationships that lead to trust.”

I’d like to add to that, “authenticity and integrity.” A person who genuinely cares about the needs and wants of others are going to increase their “likeability factor” several notches higher. It is this person who will succeed because they recognize that it is human nature to feel good when someone else is genuinely interested in them first.

Yesterday I gave a presentation to members from the Beachwood Chamber of Commerce where I shared the “That’s Right, Stephen!” story. At the end, during a question and answer session, I was inspired with an idea for today’s post.

Do you consider yourself a likeable person? Tim Saunders, a former Yahoo executive and popular business speaker, made “The Likeability Factor” a household phrase with his best-selling book of the same title. I haven’t read it but I heard it was a good read.

The other day I was reading an article somewhere on the Internet (I regret that I did not save it for future reference) on whether speakers, writers, authors, coaches and other so-called personal development experts follow what they preach. In other words, are they “walking the talk”?

How about you? Do you walk the talk? Do you find yourself doling out advice and then following it yourself? Or do you preach one thing but behave in a contrary manner?

Today I was going to write about the success of the “Flight to Hartford” project and tie it into the universal laws of attraction and giving. But something else came up, taking priority.

I just learned that a man who helped me make my dreams of becoming a pilot seven years ago recently passed away. While I understand most of you didn’t know him, I want to share the story of how we met and the incredible impact he had on my life. I believe and hope you’ll be touched even if you’re not a pilot yourself.

Last night I was hungry for more information on the “Law of Attraction” because I’ve been studying and applying its principles to my daily life with phenomenal success. It is a topic that holds utter fascination for me because while I am very aware of its existence, I’ve barely scratched the surface with respect to understanding HOW it really works. It’s a lot like electricity. I know it works but I don’t know how. I simply switch on the flip and there is my light. The “Law of Attraction” and other spiritual principles are a lot like that.

As a result of googling “Law of Attraction,” I stumbled onto a wonderful website whose name caught my eye: http://www.wingsfortheheart.com/

We all want to be liked and respected by others, right? We sometimes worry what people will think of us when we decide on a certain course of action.

But herein lies the problem.

It is impossible to make everyone happy with the choices we make. If you worry about getting everyone’s approval, you’d never get anywhere. You’d be right where they some of them want you to be. If you’re not following your heart and achieving your dreams, well, that would be just fine with them!

Being upfront about something in order to get what you want takes courage. Sometimes we have to part with private information that we don’t necessarily want other people to know about because it might put us in a vulnerable position.

Today’s story is about the time when I applied for my very first car loan in 1998 after moving 1,000 miles away from New York City to work on a book project, which you now know eventually fell through because God had other plans for me (to learn how to become a pilot).

This is a short story of something that happened to me many years ago. The incident taught me a valuable lesson in self acceptance. It has never been told before.  (Photo:  KSA Girl in Swiss)

The incident I’m about to share with you was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life but I can laugh about it now. Looking back, it was God’s way of saying, “Hey, get over yourself! You are who you are for a reason, just accept it!”

In 1995, I was riding high as a Wall Street stockbroker. I had lost 20 pounds and was looking quite healthy. My clients were enjoying double-digit growths and I was making a handsome six-figure income. On top of that, I was winning sales trips to exotic places like Mexico and Bermuda, interviewed on national television and accumulating one sales award after another.

Little did I know all hell was about to break loose. The problem was I had no clue it was coming. What’s more, it caused me a lot of unnecessary worry.

It’s perfectly natural for people to come in and out of our lives. Everyone you come into contact with makes an appearance on the stage of your life; depending on the purpose of the visit, it may be very brief like the barber, Mrs. Jordan, the bully or it may be a lifelong thing.

Whether they are there briefly or for several years, I’ve learned a thing or two along the way:

1. Listen with your eyes (stay focused on the person talking to you - don’t let them wander - if you have A.D.D., force yourself to stay focused and don’t interrupt!)

Part of the H.E.A.R. Principle is Remembering who helped you along the way.

Can you think of all the people in your life who helped you, especially when you were experiencing adversity or when you were at a crossroad of sorts?

Was it……

• a teacher like Mrs. Jordan who said the right thing at the right time?
• the person who wrote a glowing recommendation letter that won you a major scholarship or admission to your school of choice?
• mentors who appeared at just the right time to guide you personally and professionally?
• the gatekeeper who put your important phone call through to the company bigwig?

It helps if we can maintain a sense of humor even in the midst of adversity. Adversity doesn’t necessarily mean life or death situations but can include life’s most embarrassing moments, especially when you take a risk with something like moving away from the podium for the first time or trying on a new story and testing for audience reaction.

This involves a story where the simple act of gargling mouthwash made for one of life’s most embarrassing moments made easier through a sense of humor.

I’ve only been in Ohio 8 months. Making new friends in a new town where you know no one is not easy; however, surrounding yourself with the right people is critical to your ability to overcome adversity. Oprah says it best:

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down” - Oprah Winfrey

Last night I had a small party for friends from my church. I was fortunate to have a group of people who enjoyed themselves to the fullest without any air or pretense or expectation. Laughter came easily. We all felt comfortable in each other’s presence. It was a wonderful feeling.