This morning I received a comment from someone who somehow stumbled onto this blog. Her name is Lisa. She left an inspiring message in my last post that simply had to come from God. God was definitely using her as a messenger.
As her story goes, she was working in the Peace Corp overseas. Six months before she was due to finish the tour, she decided she wanted to go back to school for a graduate degree, specifically New York University (NYU). She didn’t know how she was going to pay for it nor did she know where she was going to live.
One day, she found an article in an African magazine that was written by the Dean of this school. She felt the urge to write him a letter and tell him of her intentions. He wrote back and encouraged her to apply.
Sometime after that, she was in New York City for a tour of the school. At one point, she was in the Dean’s office, talking with the very same person who previously corresponded with her. In less than an hour, he signed some forms giving her a scholarship for the first year, using funds from a discretionary account!
She meandered down the hall, most likely in a daze, and found herself at the Creative Arts Team, a non-profit supported by NYU. She ended up landing a part-time job with them – we all know what that means. Most schools offer free tuition to full and part time employees!
Wait, there’s more.
Before the day was over, she was at the Housing Division where she was offered free room and board in a private home in exchange for a few hours of babysitting on the weekends!
Let’s see here…….What just happened?
She made a decision to go back to school, not knowing how she’d pay for it or where she’d live. Then in the course of one day while touring NYU:
- her first year’s tuition was fully paid for
- she got a part-time job which meant she’d continue to get free tuition
- she was offered free room and board in a private home in exchange for babysitting on the weekends
As she tells it, she now has a masters degree from NYU and did not have to pay one penny – OMG!!!!
Her comment set off an explosion of renewed desire to not give up my pursuit of higher education. It also inspired me to write a new article here, the first I’ve written in over a month. She reminded me that when spirit places a strong desire in your heart, it doesn’t matter what’s happening in the world, the economy or whatever that’s going on.
Now, it’s my turn – I owe you an update.
Please get yourself a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or whatever it is you like to drink because it’s going to be one very looooooong update.
Last month, I informed this community of my desire to return to higher education and asked for help. At that time, I had my eyes set at the University of Santa Monica (USM), a school that was offering master’s and doctoral degrees in spiritual psychology, a subject I immediately felt was right for me. I was also looking at the Maharishi School of Management in Iowa. Both felt right to me.
There were several challenges with USM. First of all, the school was not accredited on the national level, which meant I could not apply for federal grants, scholarships and/or loans. They offered classes once a month, on the weekends – unless I moved there (unlikely), I would have to commute from one end of the country to the other like the majority of students who fly in from around the world every month.
Needless to say, I had no idea how I was going to pay for lodging, meals, books, tuition, airfare, etc. That could easily run into the thousands every single month!
Gosh! The enormity of the situation!
But since the desire to return to school was so strong, I knew God must have put it in my heart. I proceeded to put it out there via this blog. I asked the community for financial assistance and set up a Paypal button and then waited.
Interestingly enough, despite the strong nudge from within, the results were not what I expected. I thought to myself, “Okay, maybe this isn’t what the universe had in mind for me.” Perhaps I was barking up the wrong tree here. I took a deep breath, said some prayers and made a personal vow to keep an open mind. I had a feeling the universe had something up its sleeve so I waited for the next sign.
A short time later, I received an email that would set in motion a flurry of incredible events that I could never have foreseen but interestingly enough, it would turn out not to end up the way I thought it would. Hang on…..there’s more coming.
The email was an innocent note from a family member with a long list of questions about why I picked USM for graduate school. Were they accredited? Why commute every single month – aren’t there other schools offering the same program? Etc. Etc. Etc.
Las Vegas Keynote Speech
At that time, I was preparing for a speaking engagement in Las Vegas and told him I’d respond when I got back. One morning after returning from the trip, I felt this overwhelming urge to respond to his email. My fingers were absolutely flying on that keyboard – it was like the Hoover Dam was bursting with ideas!
As i was typing away, it occurred to me that I should mention I was looking for a live-in situation similar to the one I once had when I lived with a woman during the summer of 2005. She had a bad back and was looking for someone to help her around the house in exchange for free room and board. Since I had never done that before, I took her up on it and for the most part, it worked out rather well. I ended up saving quite a bit of money that summer too. I indicated that if I were to find something similiar, I’d be able to attend USM.
The following morning, I received an urgent phone call from this family member who proceeded to tell me that not only was he and his wife looking for live-in help but she had serendipitously mentioned over dinner one night: “It’s too bad none of our family members are available to help.”
I was floored – I had NO idea!
What’s even more tantalizing is that six months prior (October 2008), I had told my landlord that I wanted to renew the lease for only six months instead of the customary twelve. I had a feeling I would be moving come April 2009 but didn’t know why. Fortunately I listened to my intuition and convinced them to give me a six month lease.
In summary, take a look at this wondrous string of events that I could never have predicted:
- signed a six month lease set to expire April 2009, not knowing why
- strong commitment to return to school hit me around the first of this year (2009)
- via online research, I found USM, Maharishi University and other schools that appealed to me
- told family and friends what I was hoping to do
- received an email from a family member asking why I wanted to attend USM
- received burning desire to respond to his email after returning from a trip
- discovered that this particular family member was in the process of interviewing live-in applicants – exactly what I was looking for!
Oh my God, what was happening?
We immediately began negotiating on how this live-in arrangement would work. Every major obstacle/concern that came up during the almost-daily conversations was easily and effortlessly resolved.
As you can see in the picture to the left, they have a huge house so plenty of work to do around there. I’d live in the 5th bedroom in the finished basement.
So far, so good.
The closer we got to the end of March, the more confident I felt at the way things were going. In fact, the negotiations were going so well that I felt strong enough to put down a deposit for the Fall class at USM. I figured since things were progressing smoothly, it was a message from the universe that I should stop looking at other schools and notify the apartment manager of my intentions to move out at the end of April.
Suddenly out of the blue, the negotiations took a sharp detour, completely throwing me off. At first I was asked if I could postpone the move to end of May instead of April. Then a day went by, then another and another. I was told in a brief email to “hang in there.” I knew he and his spouse were working out the details of the arrangement.
A whole week flew by without hearing from them. The longer I waited, the more my heart sank. Somehow I knew what the final verdict would be.
On March 30th, I received word that the deal was off.
I was crestfallen but not surprised. Why did this happen? What was the meaning of all this? How could everything have been working out so smoothly and with seemingly divine timing only to fall apart at the seams? What was the universe trying to tell me?
I was puzzled. Befuddled. Confused. In a daze.
Then fear, worry and concern began to set in.
- “I just put down a deposit to reserve a seat for the Fall 09 class – should I get it back now?”
- “I’d have to fork over more money to pay the application fee – should I continue to apply and have faith? Or should I put a stop to all of this?’
- “How am I going to afford the monthly commutes to and from Los Angeles now that this live-in thing fell apart?”
While fear-based thoughts were swirling around in my head, I remembered someone once told me, “When one door closes, another opens.” I took a deep breath and called USM to cancel my application.
A day or two later, a new door opened.
You guys know from an earlier post last month that while I was looking into USM, I also had my eye on the Maharishi University of Management in Iowa. Because of the way things were unfolding with respect to USM, I really thought that was where the spirit was guiding me towards. But I guess not.
Unlike USM, Maharishi is a full-time, fully accredited institution, which means I can apply for federal grants, loans and scholarships. It’s also a unique place that requires everyone in the school to learn and practice Transcendental Mediation.
About a week after the negotiations fell apart, I applied for and received a travel scholarship from Maharishi to visit their campus during “Visitor’s Weekend’ (end of April). All of my expenses will be paid for. They’re even providing me with an interpreter so I don’t miss out on anything!
When one door closes, another opens.
Well, my friends, I have no idea what will happen next. I have no idea whether I gave up too soon on USM or if canceling my application was the right thing to do. I have no idea whether Maharishi is the right school for me or not but I’m sure to find out when I explore the campus during Visitor’s Weekend!
All I know is that the universe put in my heart the desire to return to school for a graduate degree and I’m being led on this mysterious path that continues to unfold in the strangest and most unexpected ways.
I am not giving up.
When one door closes, another opens.
Note: To see Lisa’s beautiful story about her NYU graduate school dreams, go here.
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7:23 am on April 7th, 2009 1
Again, as is usual…the Universe steers me here where your message always hits home. NEVER GIVE UP. I’ve been suffering with a sinus condition for almost 2 months now, one that on some days has me in bed with a headache I can’t describe. I am still working, still trying to build my confidence and clientele as a Polarity Practitioner but it hasn’t been easy. I’m exhausted. I’ve been feeling more alone than ever (alone is not so great when you feel well but when you need a HUG and the cat won’t cooperate…geez…)
I couldn’t sleep last night for the pain and got up early this morning, vowing to myself that I was going to MAKE myself feel better. Some how, some way. Jumped on here just for a minute before leaving for work and VOILA. YOU, a story that has hope…YOUR story that is still unfolding (and as I sit here smiling somehow KNOW it’s going to work out beautifully for you, Stephen) and a renewed sense of I WILL CONQUER THIS and move forward.
As I sat here pondering, the phone rang (must be one of the kids, it’s soo early) and not to be believed, it was my ex husband (father of “our” three marvelous adult kids) calling to offer me some help if I need it since our oldest told him how I’ve been feeling. This is a man who didn’t speak to me for almost 10 years. An olive branch? It made me realize that no matter how alone I may be feeling, no matter how confused or scared or worried, there is always someone out there with a helping hand.
It made me remember that my going back to school to do energy work was BECAUSE the man I thought I would spend the second half of my life with devastated me when he (out of the blue) broke it off. I didn’t think I would survive that but I’m now a better person for it.
One door closes, one door opens. Perhaps not the door you’re expecting or even desiring, but it’s a door and once we walk through it..well who knows what we shall find!!!???
You go, Stephen. And if you find a school on Long Island to attend, I have a comfy couch and two cats to cuddle (if you can catch them!)
Smiling and blessed, as always…Patti
7:31 am on April 7th, 2009 2
This is such an amazing story Stephen, the power of positive thinking and having faith – not only in God but also in what other people can do for us – is amazing. I am looking forward to hearing about how this all comes together.
7:51 am on April 7th, 2009 3
@ @hdbbstephen on Twitter:
Hey Stephen! It’s great to hear from you. I’m so glad you enjoyed this story. It’s the first article I’ve written in over a month and it felt good. I enjoyed sharing it with everyone because it made me feel alive with hope. I will certainly keep the community informed about what happens. I’m so excited!
I’m also so thankful to this “Lisa” who wrote in with a comment about her own personal miracle story. It was like God was using her as a vehicle to get a message to me.
Truth be told, it made me wonder if I gave up too easily on USM but we’ll see.
7:57 am on April 7th, 2009 4
@ Patricia (Patti):
WOW! I LOVE hearing from you because when you write, you definitely write with a passion and from the heart. You pour yourself out and in the process you uplift me (and I suspect others who are fortunate enough to read your comment(s)).
As i was reading, I felt as if I were there observing you rise out of bed, in pain only to receive the unxpected phone call from your ex-husband, offering to lend a helping hand.
What’s funny is that I believe it’s very important to ask for help but to be open to what comes. For instance, when I asked for help on this blog, the results were not what I expected but there was a reason for it. It’s important to “go with the flow” and trust that what’s meant to happen will, regardless of where or how it happens.
Like the live-in situation. How could it have gone so smoothly and divinely only to fall apart at the last minute? It’s strange and confusing, isn’t it? But afterward we all agreed that this “happened for a reason.” Who knows why it didn’t work out?
So thanks so much for sharing your story – I LOVE hearing from you because of the way you pour your heart out for everyone here. You help us keep this community closely knitted. Way to go!
8:09 am on April 7th, 2009 5
Sometimes, it’s good to realize and remember that no matter what we DO NOT HAVE, we DO have HEART! It’s how I’ve always lived my life and I’m sure, anyone reading this, knows…it’s a risky way to be. “Heart on sleeve”, easily bumped into and knocked around. However, no matter what….putting it out there, the way I feel, always makes me smile.
I’m so glad it makes you smile too!
I’m at work, the headache is at bay, the sun is shining and I’m open to all possibilities. I believe it’s going to be a good day! thanks, Stephen. This place forever helps me to remember that I am never REALLY alone!
12:06 pm on April 7th, 2009 6
Patricia (Patti), in 2007, I thought I was suffering through a sinus infection with some of the worst headaches I have ever had during a trip to India. When I got home and went to the doctor, the headache was from high blood pressure instead. Except for the intensity, it felt like the sinus headaches that I have gotten for years. When the blood pressure went down, the headaches went away.
Stephen, isn’t it grand what the Universe and God gives us when we turn it over to Him. When we get ourselves out of the way, what we get is usually much better than anything we could have imagined. My husband and I both had jobs through the college in addition to Student Loans.
2:40 pm on April 7th, 2009 7
WHOA!! I can’t believe how much has changed in just a week or so! It really goes to show how God can work around our minds. You felt so strongly about going to USM that maybe God had to build you up and let you down in order to have you truly look at the Iowa school as an #1 option and not just the last resort
It is WONDERFUL to hear that they have taken such an interest in you and that they are providing an interpreter. I know that was one of your concerns about the school.
This situation, although very different, kind of reminds me of the journey we we went through when naming the store. We had come up with literally hundreds of names but needed to scale it down to 4 – 5 for the lawyers. From there they would see which were available and let us know. The Market Path was a name that Bob (Pastor) came up with and none of us really liked it
I felt confident with this because I knew in the end God really got to decide which name he wanted for his store. Well what do you know…it came back that The Market Path was the only one available. At first we were kind of disappointed but then as we opened our minds we realized that it really was the perfect name. Now we love it as if there were never any other names to begin with! So, trust in God’s plan..even if it doesn’t make sense at the time…eventually it will!
6:54 pm on April 7th, 2009 8
Hey mate
long time no hear
wow what an amazing story you had to tell! And interestingly enough it came at the right time for me at least, when I resolved once and for all not to give up on life and more importantly hope, even when it seem too hard or when i am frustrated.
Thanks for reminding me again not to give up hope.
Elias
9:59 pm on April 7th, 2009 9
Stephen, ideas pop into your mind for more reasons than you assume. Spirit implant seeds of inspiration. Learning in the physical world is not linear. Your human perspective is rather limited in terms of the possibilities that are assumed to exist. You discover programs and opportunities as stepping stones. As you choose to keep an open mind, the reasons for everything grow clearer. Trust and have faith. You are always exactly where yo uare meant to be in a given moment. Its all part of the process of overcoming fear.
9:40 am on April 8th, 2009 10
@ Liara Covert:
Oh yes, you bet! There’s more to what we think is happening as to why idea pop into our heads at certain times. Keeping an open mind is very important as I’ve discovered. But I am concerned that I might have closed the door too early on the USM situation. I’ll just have to let it go and see what the spirit brings me. I’m constantly learning as I go in terms of listening to my inner intuition, taking the right steps in the right direction, and most of all, having faith.
I like how you say I’m always exactly where I am at any given moment. That feels about right. I don’t always understand why but as long as I can accept it with faith and trust, I’ll be okay.
I find it rather interesting that we spend a lot of our life learning how to overcome fear. Isn’t that amazing? Intellectually I understand where fear comes from but really, where does it come from, I wonder? Why are we so afraid? Interesting food for thought.
9:44 am on April 8th, 2009 11
@ Elias:
Yes I know Elias – I went on a “self imposed” sabbatical this year. I noticed I have been writing less and less. But believe me, my mind isn’t far from my beloved community here at Adversity University. Since I began blogging, my goal has always been to write when I am inspired by the heart to do so – not just write for the sake of writing.
I don’t want to put out an article just for the sake of appearances. It has to be authentic, fun and interesting. I’m willing to write less if it means putting out quality work versus writing more and putting out inferior or “wanna-be articles.” What I mean by “wanna-be articles” is material that appear to be redundant or “nothing new.” You know what I mean?
Anyway, it’s good to hear that this article helped you. I’m glad!
9:53 am on April 8th, 2009 12
@ Jenni:
Yes, I know Jenni – it’s amazing what can change in the course of only one week. I’m amazed myself. While I’m definitely over the stunning turn of events, I am still in awe of the way everything unfolded, even though I don’t quite understand it.
You know what? You present a very interesting point here about how God used USM as a build-up and tear-down experience to force me to (or maybe encourage me would be a more gentle word, haha) look at Maharishi University as the true #1 choice.
As a matter of fact, the more I think about that, the more I think it must be why everything happened the way it did. Yesterday I met a certified Transcendial Meditation teacher for an introductory and preparatory lecture to learn TM. Before the afternoon was over, both of us were shedding tears. He told me in so many words that maybe it was my destiny to learn TM and then teach deaf people how to meditate. I was taken by that suggestion so much that it caused me to stop and think.
At one point I was talking after the lecture was over and I said something that made the teacher think “He’s finally home.” He had to fight tears from spilling over. That caused me to tear up too.
So, hey, you have a point there. I’m supposed to leave for Iowa next weekend and I’m excited as hell. I have a good handful of people at the university who already know who I am and want to meet me.
I loved the story about what to name the church’s store (which is now called Market Path). Even though it was a different situation, the hand of God was definitely in there somewhere. I love stories like that! Thanks for sharing it with us here. Stories like that ALWAYS lift me up.
I love how you ended your comment – it’s a great reminder: “Trust in God’s plan, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time…..eventually it will!” Oh yes my dear, dear friend. Just like how the live-in situation fell apart – made no sense.
Can’t wait to see what the universe has up its sleeve. Whooo…..I am BLESSED and GRATEFUL to have you as one of my dearest friends. Not only that, but I feel the same way about the entire Adversity University community.
One day, one day, I will have a big get together for just Adversity University people. Wouldn’t that be cool or what?
11:48 am on April 8th, 2009 13
What a wonderful realization! You could teach meditation to the deaf community! I was so frustrated at the art of living seminar. I wished that I would have sat next to you so that I could have given you cues or something. Then to hear that you couldn’t take the courses because of your hearing…well that was phooey! I wonder how many other deaf people have encountered the same situation. You are in the perfect position to meditate because you can be in silence almost anywhere. You could possibly meditate at a rock concert!!
Just close your eyes! When I think about it..a person who might need to follow directions by gentle nudges might reach a pure meditative state easier because their minds aren’t being interrupted by verbal commands. They don’t have to keep their conscious mind going much at all! It would be like a physical contact sign language which is something most deaf people are already programmed to understand and follow easily.
This is SO exciting! I’m so pumped! (If you couldn’t tell
5:19 pm on April 8th, 2009 14
Dear Stephen -
Nice to have you back home on your blog.
And with all your recent news! I think I mentioned last time I commented that if there was a way Stephen would find it!
You know, you are not obligated to write long posts that take so much time.
Just write once a week – maybe 250 words – and keep us up to date on what is going on.
We are family, in case you have forgotten.
We worry when you are out of touch.
8:23 am on April 9th, 2009 15
Stephen, you uplift everyone who reads your blog !!!
For well over 30 years I have this gem of a poem.
I am sharing them with you Stephen because I see YOU
living THESE WORDS.!!!
Don’t Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit–
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns;
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won, had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit;
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
–Leo Piggott, 1931
9:22 am on April 9th, 2009 16
@ Deb Estep:
What a BEAUTIFUL poem! I have to admit that I’m not much for poems but this one really stood out for me. Thanks for sharing. It was “right on.”
9:24 am on April 9th, 2009 17
@ Corinne Edwards:
Hey thanks Corinne. I will consider your suggestion of writing shorter articles and post a little more frequently than I have so that dear friends and supporters are kept up to date on my doings. Thanks for the idea.
Yes, I know you worry when I’m out of touch – thanks for the touching gesture.
I am about to leave for a drive to the East Coast to visit my brother, his two cute girls and my parents all of whom will be gathered in one place for a week. Then I’m off to Iowa to see Maharishi University in person and get a feel for the place. I’m really looking forward to it. I will be back with photos of the trip for all to see.
9:28 am on April 9th, 2009 18
@ Jenni:
It was soo good to talk to you in person last night. I truly enjoyed the banter back and forth about areas that we have a common interest in.
As for the idea of me teaching meditation to deaf people – yes, it sounds very interesting and it could very well be what God and the universe is leading me to. As I explained to you last night, Transcendental Meditation is a specialized, systematic program yet it’s very easy to learn and practice. I’m looking forward to learning it for myself. I just sent you an email about this practice with some dates for introductory lectures around town. You might want to check it out.
Haha, I could meditate at a rock concert. Haha, that’s funny. Well, not exactly my dear because I can feel those vibrations! Actually, the TM people say once you get the essence of the technique, you can do it practically anywhere – the airport, your own home, your office, etc.
Yes, I could tell you were PUMPED! You’re so funny.
7:25 pm on April 9th, 2009 19
Stephen:
Wow, what an interesting story! It is funny you should mention the “when one door closes, another door opens” statement. I said it last week in front of stunned co-workers as 20% of our staff got laid off. My colleagues stood around my cubicle stunned, staring at me (and my cube-mate who was also let go), not knowing what to say. Having been laid off three times now and somewhat frustrated with my job there I said something I truly believe, “when one door closes, another door opens.”
I am pretty scared about job hunting in this economy, but more scared as I try to figure out my next move. I am considering a career change, which at 40 seems difficult. But I am also excited, for the fantastic possibilities out there. Nonetheless, I enjoyed your story about something you are trying to manifest in your life. You are taking action, which I admire and I will use as inspiration. Please keep us informed.
6:01 am on April 10th, 2009 20
@ Tim:
Hey there Tim, thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts about this story. I’m with you about how scary it can be to try and find a new job in this economy but one thing I’m learning right now is that it really doesn’t matter what’s happening in the “outer” world if you’re in a state of mind where you truly believe you’ll be led by Spirit to where you need to be. Like you mention, there are fantastic opportunities out there even as the economy continues to tank. We just need to be open to them.
I will definitely keep everyone informed about what happens with this new journey I’m taking. My next blog post will be an update about the visit to Maharishi University in Iowa complete with photos. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens because I didn’t expect to be given a travel scholarship to visit their school! Now I can’t wait to see what other surprises the universe has up its sleeve!
8:33 pm on April 16th, 2009 21
Stephen, fear does not exist. It is born in the mind and can be dissolved there when a person is ready to rise above it. To meditate and reflect on why you create fear brings you face-to-face with the obstacle beckoning to be overcome.
9:42 am on April 21st, 2009 22
Miracles happen, indeed. Thanks for sharing two inspiring stories! Be blessed
3:10 pm on April 23rd, 2009 23
Hi Stephen,
I’ve followed your blog for few months — intermittently. The content and the hope you generate through these writings is unparalleled.
I hope and keep working on the mantra that courage and persistence would fetch results. They may not always be what I want. Nevertheless, I may become a better person for having tried. Don’t really know how to thank you & other folks who feature here enough.
THANKS a lot !
7:22 am on April 24th, 2009 24
@ “Viveka”:
Thank you for stopping by and telling me this. I’ve been writing less and less this year but a lot of people keep telling me not to stop because they enjoy my writing style and then visitors like you stop in to remind me to continue my work here.
So, I appreciate you taking time out of your day to share your thoughts with me. Thanks!
7:41 am on May 2nd, 2009 25
Hi Stephen,
What an experience you had and absolutely agreed “when one door closes, another one opens”, this is always the way. You mention having faith and the spirit leading you – Oh boy, I know what you mean. Its funny, when one path seems to be where we are and then another springs up and knocks off that path. It happens all the time but you got it right – never give up, have faith and that feeling you had about thinking maybe you gave up too soon will be resolved, a final answer will come.
You’re such a wonderful writer and I really enjoy your blog.
May you be blessed.
8:20 am on May 2nd, 2009 26
@ Jaee:
Thanks for the uplifting and heartfelt comments. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule and dropping a note to let me know your thoughts. It is comments like yours that tell me I need to keep up with my blog. I’ve not been writing as regularly as I used to but I have another post coming soon, particularly about my experience with the university’s visitor’s weekend that I had gone to a few weeks ago.