Well, here we are, for the second part of my interview with Michael Lee Stallard, a former Wall Street executive who quit to pursue his calling of helping people in the workplace make better connections with one another.
In the first interview, I called him a “lightworker” because he’s pursuing his passion of helping the working world feel a sense of purpose that comes with better interpersonal relations with one another.
The corporate world sorely needs this. All you have to do is read the paper about how employees are seen as “expendable” by top management who seem to think everyone’s replaceable, especially during economic downturns. Believe me, Michael has his work cut out for him!
If you haven’t seen the first part, let me invite you to read up on it before you continue by going to Stephen Hopson Interview with Michael Lee Stallard, Part I of II.
He’s back at Adversity University so let’s call him out for the last time. Ready? 1 2 3, COME ON OUT MICHAEL, WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU!
(He comes bounding out with full vigor and enthusiasm)
Michael, welcome back to our community! Time sure has flown since the last time you were here! Let’s get started, shall we?
12. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity. How have you dealt with adversity in your life? Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.
The night Katie”s surgeon told me she had cancer and it was advanced, I felt powerless. I didn’t know what to do. When we went to visit Katie in the ICU, one of my young daughters fainted and the other broke down sobbing. Our hearts were broken. We love Katie so much. The next morning when I entered Katie”s room, one of my best friends, Jason Pankau, had already arrived and was sitting there beside her hospital bed. Jason rushed to our aid. It was just the beginning of an outpouring of affection.
The connections we had with people were encouraging and healing. They lifted our spirits.
The other challenge I faced was dyslexia and low self-esteem when I was a teenager. My parents’ love and encouragement, tutors, teachers, sports coaches and mentors who encouraged me helped me learn and grow in ability, knowledge, wisdom and confidence. I could never have done it alone. Once again, connections made the difference.
Stephen’s Response: I can certainly see how Katie’s bout with cancer was what triggered a series of events in your life that led you to do what you’re doing today! What’s interesting about your experience is that rather it being “horrible,” (which sometimes acts as a catalyst for some people), it was quite uplifting, inspiring you to “pay it forward.” Some people find their life’s purpose after going through a painful experience. Like the man who was abused as a child who goes on to become a child advocate or something like that. In your case, it was an uplifting, positive experience that led you to where you are today. Interesting!
13. What would you say was the defining moment that forever changed the course of your life? For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?
There has been no single defining moment in my life but a lot of inflection points that include developing my faith in God, meeting and falling in love with my wife Katie, being a parent to two wonderful daughters, Katie”s cancer experience, moving to the New York City area and meeting a extraordinary diversity of people, writing Fired Up or Burned Out, and becoming a speaker.
Stephen’s Response: You certainly have a treasure chest full of life changing moments! But if I were to put a vote to it, I’d say your wife’s cancer was the biggest catalyst. But then, that’s my objective opinion. I’m not you, so I couldn’t say I am right with this observation but you’ve expanded on your wife’s cancer situation on a number of times throughout the interview, which leads me to reach this conclusion.
14. What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why?
Peter Drucker”s memoir Adventures of a Bystander: His interests and values resonated with me
John Gration, one of my spiritual mentors: His character and wisdom encouraged me.
and Thomas Merton”s prayer (see below): His message and humility inspired me
Thomas Merton’s Prayer
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Stephen’s Response: Wow, Thomas Merton’s prayer really struck me deeply. It definitely resonated with me – thanks for sharing it with us. I’m sure someone reading today’s interview will find this prayer to be something that was sorely needed at the exact moment.
15. Name the top 5 articles you’ve written that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from.
Only one.
“The Connection Culture Manifesto” published by changethis.com and downloadable for free at this link: http://www.changethis.com/44.06.ConnectionCulture
It has been downloaded thousands of times. The award-winning New York Times business journalist William J. Holstein wrote that it reflected “great wisdom.” His words were very encouraging to me.
Stephen’s Response: I agree with William Holstein that this particular manifesto reflects great insights of wisdom. A person of that stature making a comment like that would make any person’s day! Congratulations!
16. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? (If you’re an atheist, no problem, substitute what you would like your tombstone to read).
There were times you pleased me. For all the times you didn’t, you”re forgiven.
Stephen’s Response: How sweet! And what a relief too to know that we’re all forgiven, regardless of what we chose to do while we were here. That’s the definition of an unconditionally loving God. I don’t believe in a God that judges. But most religions would have you believe that you will be punished and banished to an everlasting hell. The only hell that exists is the life we make for ourselves with incorrect choices.
17. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear. Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.
I love the sound of the running brook behind my home and the waves coming ashore at our local beach on the Long Island Sound. I also love music.
I detest hate speech.
Stephen’s Response: You have a running brook behind the house?!? You’re living in my dream house! I’ve always visualized myself living in a house with a running brook or river in the backyard. How sweet that must be!
Hate speech hurts everyone, even the speaker who spouts forth the hateful words.
18. We all have our likes and dislikes. What would you say turns you on and what turns you off? Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.
I love gathering with great friends for a good meal and stimulating conversation. I dislike long winters.
Stephen’s Response: Hahaha, were you reading my mind about long winters? I’m doing the best I can in dealing with the extreme cold by actually facing it. How? By bundling up and taking long walks on nature’s pathways nearby my home. I always come back home invigorated. But I am looking forward to spring.
Gathering with friends for good food, drink and conversation is always a morale booster. Nothing like enjoying good company!
19. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?
Joy. Hopelessness.
Stephen’s Response: Interesting choice of words. One signifies pure happiness while the other represents crushing defeat without any chance of recovery.
20. What’s next for Michael Lee Stallard?
More speaking around the country and writing for The Economic Times in India and for other publications. My wife and I are attending a lot of high sporting events to see our teenage daughters cheerleading.
Stephen’s Response: You are certainly enjoying yourself, aren’t you, Mr. Stallard? That’s awesome! Best wishes for continued success as a national speaker. Perhaps one day we’ll both be speaking at the same event? You never know!
21. What’s the biggest, wildest and seemingly impossible dream you’d like to achieve in your lifetime?
To know that my work had a major impact on helping improve connection in organizations worldwide and made people happier, healthier, and more productive.
Stephen’s Response: That’s a very admirable vision you have for yourself and I see you doing that easily and effortlessly. You have found a need and have worked diligently to close the gap between the people who work for various organizations. You are making a huge difference because you’re doing a vitally important job. Without a sense of connection inside these organizations, they’re destined to fall apart because without its people, the organization can’t do much of anything.
22. Finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?
- My blog: www.michaelleestallard.com
- My book: www.FiredUpOrBurnedOut.com
- My company: www.EPluribusPartners.com
Well, that’s the end – let’s give Michael a rousing applause and thank him for his time with us today! I hope you all enjoyed his time with us as much as I did. He was certainly someone with a different background, wasn’t he? I enjoy bringing you a wide range of people to get to know more. You can expect me to continue doing just that!
Until next time, enjoy the rest of the week…….
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10:16 am on January 28th, 2009 1
Stephen,
Thank you for interviewing me. Your questions made me think and even helped me learn more about myself. You would make a great counselor! Just doing this interview with you made me think that it would be beneficial for organizations to do something similar to this with new employees and post the answers on their intranet employee profile. Of course, each employee would get to choose which questions they want to answer and to change their answers at any time. This could help people get to know one another. Thanks for triggering that idea.
I’m going to post a link to this interview and the idea of employee Q&A on my my blog.
All the best to you, my friend.
Michael
11:17 am on January 28th, 2009 2
Stephen, hardship has the power to evoke positive feelings of growth. I have known people to experience cancer and other serious disease. Health scares prompt people to re-evaluate their thoughts and choices. The lessons discerned can seem immeasurable and life-transforming. What we witness, hear about or experience reminds us to make the best of the time we have been given. Its not the amount of time that matters but rather, what we choose to do with it. Each person chooses how to react to what happens. Even not reacting offers timeless lessons. As you discern what gives yo ur life meaning, how you view the world and the choices you make evolve.
9:44 am on January 29th, 2009 3
@ Liara Covert:
You bet – hardship is really amazing because it can do one of two things. It will stunt your growth, causing you to recede into a corner or it will kick you in high gear, with determination to succeed against the odds.
I love how you remind me that everything is a matter of choice. This puts responsibility squarely back on our shoulders, should we choose to accept that philosophy.
Another thing I’d like to add is that everything that happens is defined by our perceptions. We all have a filter that categorizes and labels the things we do, see, hear, experience, etc. What’s “good” or “bad” is based on our perceptions. Amazing, when you really think about it.
9:47 am on January 29th, 2009 4
@ Michael Lee Stallard:
It was my pleasure to interview you and I’m glad our community got to know you better. I salute you for what you are doing in the world of organizations to help their people make vitally needed connections.
Thanks for the compliment about me being a counselor. Hmmm…maybe I ought to go back to school for some sort of counseling degree? Hmmmm……
I love how this interview inspired you to offer something similiar to your organizational clients! Let me know how it goes.
10:35 am on January 29th, 2009 5
Stephen,
I just posted on my blog at http://www.michaelleestallard.com/lessons-i-learned-from-stephen-hopsons-adversity-university about what I learned during my visit to Adversity University. It has been nice getting to know you, learning about your journey in life and how what you learned and accomplished applies to all of us. Thanks for generosity and for the great work you are doing to help others.
With best wishes,
Michael
5:46 pm on January 29th, 2009 6
Great interview. It great to see that Michael has reacted in a positive way to the adversities in his life. Very inspiring!
1:38 pm on January 30th, 2009 7
Michael you were very blessed to have the childhood connections that you did…
“My parents’ love and encouragement, tutors, teachers, sports coaches and mentors who encouraged me helped me learn and grow in ability, knowledge, wisdom and confidence. I could never have done it alone. Once again, connections made the difference.”
The 1928 Webster dictionary describes the word connect in this way:
To knit or link together.
It was that childhood knitting and linking that help to form the fabric of the man you are today !!!
Even if you don’t have children of your own, look at the value of reaching out to the children you know and just connecting with them. Not in a praise sense, but in just asking how things are in their lives. To have the attention of a caring adult is one of the most valuable things you can do for the little people in your life.
Thank you Stephen for this wonderful interview and a sincere thank you
to you Michael for your open and candid sharing.
xo xo
Deb-n-Ohio
8:33 pm on February 2nd, 2009 8
@ Deb Estep:
I wanted to chime in and comment on how making connections is so important. A friend challenged me to look at how I might be making a difference and after thinking about it for a bit, I realized I was a “connector.” What’s funny about that though, is that I seem to do a better job connecting people online rather than in person in the local community. I find that intriguing.
But being a connector is a great way to knit together the fabric of like-minded people who, together, can make a huge impact.
8:33 pm on February 2nd, 2009 9
@ Happiness Is Better:
I’m glad you enjoyed the interview. I was inspired too!
8:34 pm on February 2nd, 2009 10
@ Michael Lee Stallard:
Once again, I just wanted to thank you Michael for coming to Adversity University to be interviewed. I enjoyed connecting with you a bit deeper and look forward to whatever collaboration we might end up doing in the future.