My goodness where did the time go? It was just a week ago when we aired Part I of my interview with Barbara Swafford but it felt like it happened yesterday! If you didn’t catch that fabulous interview, I suggest you go back to Stephen Hopson Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging without a Blog, Part I of II because it set the Adversity University campus on fire with over 50 comments – the most ever! This promises to be even MORE explosive because, according to Barbara, my questions truly pulled some things from the depth of her soul. You’ll see in a moment.
By the time you read this, I’ll be on my way Texas for a keynote speaking engagement with Frito-Lay. WOOT!! I’m so excited! There’s so much happening, I can barely keep up with it – more on that later.
Let’s call out Barbara from the “green room” and get this thing rolling!
BARBARA! WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU! (she literally runs into the studio waving wildly to the audience and barrels into me for a big hug).
Hey, where have you been? It’s been a WHOLE week and we’ve already missed you! Let’s roll now!
12. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity. How have you dealt with adversity in your life? Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.
Stephen, I’ve been putting off answering this question. It brings back a lot of sad memories, but I’m also hoping by sharing the adversity I’ve had, others will benefit.
It starts with a story.
I came from a large, tight knit family. I had lots of aunts and uncles, a set of grandparents who lived close by (within walking distance), and dozens of cousins. We always gathered together for holidays, birthdays and times of just “let’s get together” functions. It was just like a scene from the Waltons (remember that show?). We were a happy “clan”, living in the country, playing in the hay fields, barn or the pond, picking wild daisies or thimbleberries, running and chasing each other and having lots of laughs. Looking back, I now see where there was some dysfunction, but at the time, it felt like we were a perfect family unit.
With families, comes loss. And the bigger the family, the more loss you’ll experience. Hence, death became my biggest adversity. As you know (from part 1 of this interview), I lost my father when I was 15. After that, our family became tighter than ever. Mom was our “hero” and our love for her grew stronger. Although I left the area when I was 21, I would save money so I could go home at least once a year. She and I grew to be a wonderful example of mother and daughter.
I was living in Alaska when my mom unexpectedly died of a massive heart attack. On that flight home, I was numb. I gazed out the window, not seeing anything, and quietly cried all the way to Chicago. I remember my best friend whom I traveled with (from part I of this interview, she was now living in Chicago). When she met me at the airport, a hug from her was just what I needed. The next two weeks were a blur (I took time off from work), but when I returned to Alaska I was so heartbroken it took all the strength I had to make it through the work day. At the end of the day I would get in my car and cry all the way home. I didn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and when I did, I would fall asleep with the Bible on my chest. I remember reading, “God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle”, but many times I doubted that.
Her death hit me hard. In a sense, I think I was grieving for her plus all of the loved who had gone on before her. When I would think about her death, I realized I now felt like an orphan. I had lost my roots. I was without a mother, father, and grandparents.
The loss of my mother took my life spirit out of me. I buried myself in work, but my career goals didn’t mean anything to me anymore. After 18 months, I decided to leave Alaska. I know I was trying to run from the pain that still haunted me, but at the time I thought if I leave where I was when she died, the memories would stay behind. I went back to California, but as you know, memories follow us. Fourteen months later, I moved back to Alaska. It was shortly after that I met my (future) husband. In a conversation with him, I told him how I felt like an orphan. I remember him saying, “Honey, you’re not an orphan, you have me”. Those were the sweetest words I’ve ever heard.
Death continues to be something I know I have to deal with. As the years pass, loved ones get older, and the inevitable is obvious. It still hurts each time I get “the call”. That close knit family I grew up in is quite small now.
Having faced the loss of loved ones so many times, I have a lot of compassion for others who face the same. Now I try to use what I’ve learned to help others the best I can. I know they’ll have times when they want to be left alone, and times when holding their hand or a hug will be just what they need. I know the pain doesn’t go away overnight, and I also realize the loss of a loved one is something that remains with us forever.
I try to teach others to cherish the time they have with their loved ones, take lots of pictures, and always, always, always tell their family and friends those three little words, “I love you”.
Whew! Stephen, that was a tough one to write. I’ve used up a half a box of Kleenex and am ready to move on.
Stephen’s Response: And as I was “listening” to your response to this question, I felt something stirring deeply within me. Contrary to your experience with death in the family, I’ve had very little. My parents are both in their 70′s and they’re relatively healthy but I know the “time will come” and to be quite frank with you, I’m not looking forward to having to deal with that.
Here, let me hug you a bit – thank you for sharing that story with us. I do remember the Walton clan from TV very well and even though everything looked “perfect,” we all know how dysfunctional they probably were behind the scenes. I cannot imagine a family without some sort of dysfunction – it’s almost “normal” – LOL.
But seriously though, you have a great point – the power of “I love you” can NEVER be underestimated. I make a point of calling my parents every so often just to say hi and check in with them. You just never know.
13. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?
Love is my favorite word. It’s a word that isn’t spoken enough, but when it is, it can change a person’s heart and mend relationships. I especially love to hear parents and children say “I love you” to each other. Hearing a father and son say “I love you” makes me teary eyed.
My least favorite word is hate. To me, hate is almost like a curse word. It has such strong connotations attached to it. I prefer to hear the term “dislike” or something similar.
Stephen’s Response: You’re right – “Love” – isn’t something that is said often enough. It’s almost as if people are afraid to say it because it could be “misconstrued” or sound “too sappy.” Believe me, nothing is sappy when it comes to love because, really, it supercedes everything. In fact, love wins in the end, no matter how you slice it.
You got it Barbara – “hate” – is such a terrible thing to have around. It arises because of fear of things we don’t understand.
14. What was the most embarrassing moment of your life that you now look back at and laugh, cry or smile? What was the lesson(s) you learned?
Stephen, you’re making me dig, aren’t you?
My most embarrassing moment was when I was leaving a company I had worked for in Alaska. It was on my last day there, and most of the day had already been like a party. It was late afternoon when this person dressed like an ape came into the office, carrying balloons (a singing telegram).
He came up to my desk, asked me to stand up and started singing to me. The next thing I knew, he picked me up. Mind you, I was wearing a dress, and my biggest concern was that my butt would be showing. After spinning me around several times, he finally put me down. I glanced around the room and realized a crowd of about 50 had gathered and had witnessed the whole thing.
My face was beet red and I just wanted to crawl under my desk. Looking back, it probably was pretty funny, and I learned it’s alright if we laugh at ourselves. Those that were laughing at what they witnessed weren’t laughing at me, they were laughing with me.
Stephen’s Response: I loved it! Hahaha. How funny. Well, yes, my dear friend, I did want you to dig in! That’s the fun part of doing interviews. But you realize, of course, that when you dig in and share from a deep place, you put yourself in a position to inspire untold numbers of people. We all have “most embarrassing moments” – did you read the story about my experience with the “James Bond Lady Fiasco“?
Well, THAT was among some of my “most embarrassing moments.” But guess what? I’ve told it over and over again in my professional speaking engagements and even got to tell it throughout a Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest where I won first place at the District finals a few weeks ago. Did you know that?
15. What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why? (ONLY THREE IN TOTAL)
My first choice is the Bible. I’ve turned to it for strength many times in my life, and continue to read it for spiritual growth.
My mother was always a mentor to me. She was a strong woman who taught me I could be the same. She always saw the glass as half full, was non-judgmental and always found the best in other people. She taught me I could do anything I set my mind to. I miss her.
My grandmother was also a mentor. She shared words of wisdom with me when I was a teenager and I lived by them. She said, “Honey, if you have the desire to see the world, do it while you’re young.” You see, she came to the States (from Finland) when she was young (19, I think), and shortly thereafter, married and started having babies (she had 8). She lived on the family farm and never had a chance to leave except for a few short vacations, many years later. Because of her advice, I spread my wings, traveled and delayed getting married until much later. For me, those were great words to live by.
Stephen’s Response: The power of having a mentor is incredible. I’m so glad to hear your mom and grandmother were both mentors to you. Not many people can say that about their parents or grandparents.
“Mon-judgmental” – Wow, that’s so incredibly important. We have a society full of them, which has led to some forms of hatred, you know. My take on things is that God is non-judgmental because He’s unconditionally loving so why can’t we humans do the same thing? We are all God’s children, aren’t we?
I’m so glad your grandmother inspired you to “spread your wings.” 
16. Name the top 3 articles from “Blogging Without a Blog” that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from. (ONLY THREE IN TOTAL)
I have recently created my newest favorite. It’s my ”Promote Your Blog Registry” post/page. Not only does it benefit new bloggers, but all bloggers who want to get found. In the comment section, they get to promote themselves and tell others why their blog is worthy of a visit. I have a link to it in my sidebar. It’s a great place to promote your blog, and for others to find you. The list is steadily growing and I can see how it will be a great resource for finding future “New Blog Of The Week” entrants, as well. WooHoo!
Speaking of my New Blog Of The Week (NBOTW) series, I’ve modified it and am now including some “older” bloggers as well. They are called my “(Not So) New Blogs Of The Week”. Let’s face it, unless we’re one of the big boys/girls, we can always use more traffic/attention.
The second article that is valuable is from when I interviewed Lorelle. She kindly took time to answer my questions in depth and I recapped the complete interview in Interview With Lorelle VanFossen, A Recap and A Bonus. She shared tons of beneficial information that’s worthy of book marking.
In my A.S.K. (Answers Sharing Knowledge) series, Liz Strauss answered a question for me about building a blog community that holds very true. Both the question and Liz’s answer can be found in
How Do You Inspire Your Readers To Join Your Community?
Stephen’s Response: Wow – I commend you on your goals in “pimping” other bloggers like crazy. Hahaha, I bet the word “pimping” made you fall off your chair, when I first mentioned it last week, didn’t it?
Well, it’s true – I mean think about it-with you promoting others via your blog registry, you’re giving people, particularly beginners (and now ancient bloggers like….me?), a chance to shine. Isn’t that called “pimping?” LOL.
I had the good fortune of Lorelle and Liz this summer at the blogging conference (SOBCon08). We all had a fabulous time. I frequently keep in touch with both of them via email and Twitter. I’m so glad you got to know them as well!
17. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Thank you my child, you have left this world a better place. You’re work is done. Welcome home!”
Stephen’s Response: I loved that!! “Your work is done, welcome home.” That evoked warm feelings all over me.
18. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear. Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.
I love to hear laughter. Whether it’s from a baby, an elderly person or anyone in between, it always warms my heart. In some instances it’s also contagious. There’s nothing funnier than laughing so hard you almost pee your pants. Did I just say that?
The sounds I detest are when I hear adults screaming at each other or worse yet, at children. It almost makes me physically ill. I want to shake them and say “STOP!”
Stephen’s Response: Oh yes, you just did say “pee your pants.” Well, didn’t the so-called experts also say “laughter is best medicine”? There’s nothing like a good belly laugh! It makes every cell in your body tingle, you know?
I don’t know whether you’ve seen screaming matches between people but I have and it’s a horrible thing to witness. I’ve seen enraged adults at Little League baseball games with one of the parents (usually the father) screaming at the kid, umpire or the coach. Not a very good example of good sportsmanship, huh? Makes you want to smack the guy and say WAKE UP! And then you have those mothers who scold their kids around in the aisle of the supermarket.
I better stop because then I’m getting judgmental here, right? Well, it is none of our business, isn’t it? They have to do what they have to do in their own best way. All we can do is pray for them, right?
19. We all have our likes and dislikes. What would you say turns you on and what turns you off? Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.
I love to see people being kind and loving toward each other. It warms my heart when I see love and admiration in the eyes of a child, parent or spouse. I also love to see elderly people walking and holding hands. That’s so sweet.
Cruelty of any kind, extreme negativity, and blatant lies are a huge turn off.
Stephen’s Response: Same here, same here!
20. What’s the biggest, boldest dream you have for yourself Barbara? In other words, using inspiration from the movie “The Bucket List” (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freedman, 2007), what’s on your bucket list?
Stephen, I have to admit I haven’t seen the movie, but as for my biggest boldest dreams, you leave me thinking. Having done so much in my life, right now I’ve very content with my life just the way it is. I have a wonderful husband, family, long time friends, and new ones in blogosphere. I don’t want for much. I just pray we keep our good health and make enough money to pay the bills and put food on the table. My years have taught me it’s not “stuff” or “greener pastures”, or exotic travels that make me happy. My happiness comes from within, and I’m at that point in my life where I’m grateful for where life has led me.
Stephen’s Response: I think you’d like the movie, based on what I’ve learned about you the past two interviews. You’re right – happiness comes from within – there’s no argument with that!
21. And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?
That’s easy. You can find me, and more about me on Blogging Without A Blog. I hope to see you there.
Stephen. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for this interview. As you know, parts of it were difficult for me to write, but in the end, I do hope what I have shared helps others.
WHAT!? The interview is OVER? OVAH? OVAH? You’re done with us?!??! Well, Barbara, it was extraordinary, let me tell you! The honor was mine for having you with us the past two weeks because through your powerful stories, we surely got to know you a whole lot more, not to mention being reminded of a couple of important life lessons!
Turning to the audience: Don’t forget to check out Barbara’s Blogging Without a Blog and join her community there as well!
If you liked this post and you want to be notified of the next one, subscribe via Email or Full Text RSS Feed. I would love to have you as part of the community!
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7:39 pm on October 28th, 2008 1
Hi Stephen – First off, thank you again for this opportunity. It’s been an experience I’ll never forget.
Yes, you and anyone else who reads this is very lucky if you still have your parents. Although we know we will someday lose them, when it actually happens, the experience is something we really cannot prepare for. For me it was heart wrenching.
Stephen, don’t you just love the idea of the Blog Registry? I hope you’ll add your blog, too. It’s a great place for everyone to find each other. As you say, “I’m pimping bloggers”. You love saying that, don’t you.
I try to avoid screaming matches, but have witnessed a few. Ugh! They made my stomach turn. Those raised voices can have such a long term affect on children, and often those children go on to do the same to their children. It’s that learned behavior.
Stephen, I must say I love how you conduct these interviews. You make them fun and entertaining. Just as you wrote, I felt like I was “there”. Thanks for the hugs.
I pray you have a great trip to Texas. Keynote speaker with Frito-Lay. WooHoo! Maybe someone will video tape that and you can share it with us. How cool would that be?
8:22 pm on October 28th, 2008 2
A great continuation of Part 1 Stephen! You do an awesome job of getting the people you interview to really answer in such a thoughtful way.
Barbara, it is just such a great thrill to know you so much better after this series of interviews. Thank you for opening yourself up here Barbara. I, myself, have not had to deal with death with close family members – so I can only imagine how difficult this must have been for you. In hearing your story, I really feel how these moments touched your life in a profound way.
What you hope God will say to you at the “Pearly Gates” – oh, Barbara – you have made the world a much better place already! And you continue to do that everyday, but it’s not just that you make the world better – it’s that you really lift others up to do that same thing. It’s like you’re a multiplier of “much better”!
And, lastly, I second Stephen’s recommendation that you see the “Bucket List” – I think it’s a great movie, and one to really get you thinking (which you’re already great at, come to think of it!).
1:59 am on October 29th, 2008 3
Great interview and great hearing more about Barbara. So far as dealing with the loss of close family members, they’ve all been on my wife’s side. The loss of good friend that you’ve been around more than some of your family is also very hard.
3:36 am on October 29th, 2008 4
Your details about the adversity you had to endure are very intimate. Those do sound like some very heavy challenges.
Laughter is a wonderful sound to hear; I agree.
6:25 am on October 29th, 2008 5
Hi Stephen and Barbara – this was an excellent part 2 but it must have been a difficult interview for Barbara – especially speaking about the loss of her mother when she was so young.
Barbara – your grandmother’s advice to travel when you were younger is really smart. I wish all young people were encouraged to do that.
6:39 am on October 29th, 2008 6
Very nice interview, I enjoyed reading it. Of course, when you open with a tear jerker, it’s hard to read the rest of the words.
thanks for sharing barbara and thanks for the interview stephen.
9:18 am on October 29th, 2008 7
Wow! Way to dig deep and share, Barbara. Thanks! I too have very little experience with death. All four of my grandparents lived to ripe old ages, and my parents are healthy as horses and in the mid 70s. My aunts and uncles are all still alive, and they are even older. However, I know the day will come, all too soon, when that generation will start to pass on. In the meantime, I try to see my parents as often as I can, despite the fact they live quite far away.
11:16 am on October 29th, 2008 8
Hip Hip Hoorah for making my day, Stephen and Barbara. Laughter…My co worker who in 4 years lost her mother, then her 35 year old daughter (leaving behind 2 small children and a million broken hearts) and then suddenly her anchor, her husband, is my role model. WE work together, side by side, 5 days a week and we laugh sometimes until when we pick up the phone we have to hang it back up because we can’t speak. (the pee in your pants kind of laughing) If YOU and SHE can laugh and pray and live and love then so can all of the rest of us. I have not experienced the losses you have but I have unfortunately looked at my losses as HUGE and in retrospect, they have not been. The loss of a marriage, a house, a relationship, a job…nothing in comparison to those that lose themselves. I have managed, through all of it, as you have…to not lose ME. It all comes from within. Thank you for that reminder. I am sincerely grateful.
Patti
11:54 am on October 29th, 2008 9
Hi Stephen and Barbara,
It’s been so good to get to know Barbara, as she’s been a bit of a mystery to me, with her anime icon and all. True to her title, her blog’s been mostly about those in her community, so her own self has remained behind a veil, to me.
Barbara, I know it’s now easy to prove these personal depths, but ultimately your sharing and revealing of yourself helps us connect deeper to you. Thank you Stephen for asking good questions and thank you Barbara for courageously answering them.
ari
12:38 pm on October 29th, 2008 10
Stephen, I have been a fan of yours for awhile now, maybe a year. I don’t remember who introduced me to Barbara’s blog but I do enjoy her blog and her listening skills. Thanks to your interview, I discovered something besides blogging that Barbara and I have in common. We have both worked in the construction industry. My husband owes and operates a small parking lot striping business which I helped him with on the striping side until about 2 years ago. Now I answer the phone instead in our home office. I learn a lot from both of your blogs. Thanks Stephen and Barbara.
2:33 pm on October 29th, 2008 11
It’s so difficult to lose both of your parents. I can’t imagine facing life without mine. Your story is fascinating, Barbara.
2:53 pm on October 29th, 2008 12
Hi Barbara: That life with a large family all around you, living in the country, sounds fabulous. I’m sorry you had to experience something as difficult as losing your parents at such an early age. I also love the sound of laughter and the sight of elderly couples holding hands
4:40 pm on October 29th, 2008 13
Hi Stephen. Thanks for sharing this opportunity to get to know Barbara better.
Hi Barbara. Well, first I cried when I read your account of losing your mother. Then I cried again, (with laughter) when I read about your most embarrassing moment! You are very lucky to have had such a strong relationship with your mother. And you are equally lucky to have had that tight knit family. I remember the Waltons well! Used to watch that show all the time.
4:50 pm on October 29th, 2008 14
Hi Lance – Thank you so much for your kind words. When you said “..it’s not just that you make the world better – it’s that you really lift others up to do that same thing…”, those words brought tears to my eyes. If makes me feel I’m on the right path.
I’ll definitely put the “Bucket List” on my list of movies to see.
Hi Mike – I agree, the loss of close friends can be just as hard as losing a family member.
Hi Bamboo – Yes, they were big challenges, but I do hope with what I’ve learned I can help others.
Hi Catherine – My grandmother was a wise woman and a great role model.
Hi Natural – I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the interview. Maybe that first question, should have been at the end as it was the toughest for me to answer.
Hi Urban Panther – You’re very fortunate. Treasure your loved ones and make lots of memories.
Hi Patti – Thank you for your beautiful words. My heart goes out to your co worker. That’s a huge burden to bear. What a blessing she has you as a friend to talk to, to turn to and to laugh with. Friends like you are like “earth” angels to those of us who grieve.
Hi Ari – I’ve always been one who enjoyed working behind the scenes supporting others. After reading your comment, I realize my blog is much the same. Doing interviews gives my readers more of an insight into who I am, although it won’t change what I do.
Hi Patricia – Thank you for your kind words. It’s great to know you’re in the construction industry, as well.
Hi Vered – Yes, it was difficult. I remember a post you wrote about your dad. The love you have for him is evident in your choice of words.
Hi Marelisa – We have an elderly couple who lives across the street from us and in the evening when they go for a walk, they hold hands. Seeing them always makes me smile.
Hi Davina – So you remember the part (on the Waltons) where they would say, “Good night John boy”?
4:54 pm on October 29th, 2008 15
Well, I’ve been looking forward to the second part of the interview and it was even more than I anticipated. I loved it. I loved learning more about Barbara and her good heart. She has always been a great inspiration to me and now she is even more of one.
Barbara, if you had a video of that monkey spinning you around I’d laugh WITH you too.
It really is good for us to laugh at ourselves isn’t it! It’s pretty liberating in fact.
Her childhood reminded me of mine in a lot of ways. Lots of aunts and uncles and great aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents nearby. Although sounds like hers lived even closer.
Sounds like she was very fortunate to have a mother and grandmother like the ones she had.
5:09 pm on October 29th, 2008 16
Hi Jennifer – Isn’t it ironic how both of us have been interviewed by Stephen? Forever we’ll be in the archives of Adversity University. (unless Stephen deletes us –
)
I’m very happy there isn’t a video of the singing telegram ape/monkey spinning me around, although I do think I have a picture or two from the experience. And yes, it’s good for us to laugh at ourselves.
5:12 pm on October 29th, 2008 17
Stephen and Barbara a wonderful interview and it is so good to discover more about special folks. Thank you both for asking the questions and digging deep to answer; I found it very uplifting and good to read.
Mentors are so important and it is good to have gratitude for those who lit the lamp and share that light with others. I am grateful for this sharing
5:51 pm on October 29th, 2008 18
Thank you both, this was really great. We so rarely get a behind the scenes glimpse at our blogging buddies.
Barbara, it was brave of you to share all that; I lost my dad when I was 30 and I’ll never ever forget the phone call, and it changed my view of the world forever.
11:18 pm on October 29th, 2008 19
Thanks for sharing your personal story here! My eyes started to tear when I read the part about the loss of your mom and how the memories follow you wherever you went. It’s funny that I am feeling so particularly sensitive this morning.
Then, when I came to the part when you said “love” is your favorite word, I realized that we are on the same spiritual path (although in a different manner).
12:20 am on October 30th, 2008 20
Stephen,
Thanks again for bringing Barbara to us and all of the people of substance and caliber like her to your Interview Series. She gave a piece of herself to us today that was difficult, but she gave it still and we are profoundly moved. We met her on these pages and really feel a deep connection with her…she is so authentic and geniune, her heart oozing with love and after today I really feel I understand her a lot better and am so glad I got to know her story.
Barbara,
After reading all you endured I can see where your depth comes from… many have mentioned digging deep today, but what you have experienced forces you to find a place of strength within that you may not have known existed… the deeper well. I’m sending you love and hugs today.
I admire you so for forging your way through all of that and allowing it to shape you as a outstanding person. You used it for your “good” and not as an excuse to stop. You still kept pressing your way through life with a vision in mind, despite the hurt and pain.
You are a true ray of hope and inspiration and I can see how you are “mothering new bloggers” to guide them and help them find their way. Your roots run deep and even though your lost your parents early, they planted the right seeds and you have blossomed so beautifully.
My daugther-in-law lost both her parents before she was 12 and I thought of her today when I read your interview. Her older sister who is my age also lost her brother when he was 17 and her husband before she was 50. Yet they have both made a pathway in life and have their anchor in God as you do.
Not only do you have a lot to offer bloggers, I think you also have a lot to share on this topic, if you feel led to.
A tight hug and much love to you…your light is shining so brightly!
Love and strength,
Sharmaine
12:22 am on October 30th, 2008 21
Hi Stephen and Barbara,
Thank you both for these two interviews (was away last week so I got to read them back-to-back).
Stephen, your questions are even better than Barbara Walters! Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to know Barbara Swafford better, from a personal all-round perspective. Up to now I’ve mainly known her as blogging teacher, mentor and “Head Cheerleader” in the BWAB community, and it is so wonderful to know her more fully and deeply.
Barbara, you have mentioned in comments on my blog that you lost your parents at a young age, but your stories here have touched me beyond words. It is never easy to lose a parent, not matter what their age or our age is when it happens. Your deep compassion for family caregivers of aging parents is even more extraordinary now that I know more about your own journey. Thank you for being so open and honest with us — here and always! It is an honor to “know” you and I do hope we can meet in person some day so I can give you hugs!
3:13 am on October 30th, 2008 22
Hi Patricia – Thank you for coming by and reading the rest of the story. I agree, mentors can be a powerful force in our lives. I’m so happy I’ve had/have so many.
Hi Ann (Vintage Mommy) – My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain and know exactly what you mean about your view of the world changing forever,
Hi Evelyn – I agree we are on a similar spiritual path. That must be why your blog posts resonate with me so often.
Hi Sharmaine – Your words are so beautiful they brought tears of joy to my eyes and have left me speechless.
Thank you so much for your kind words, love and hugs. Thanks to Stephen, I’ve made another wonderful cyberspace friend.
3:15 am on October 30th, 2008 23
Hi Barbara. Oh yes, I remember it all very well. Right up to the lights turning off in each room as they said good night one at a time.
3:17 am on October 30th, 2008 24
Wow, Barbara. What an amazing life story. I have seen more than my share of death but I did not lose my parents so early on. You truly are an inspiration. And you are wonderfully giving…
Wishing you back lots of wonderful things in life – now and always!
3:28 am on October 30th, 2008 25
Hi Davina – Those lights going out one by one was the best part of the show. Everyone was safely tucked in bed.
Hi Maya – Thank you for your kind words and well wishes. I truly appreciate it.
8:20 am on October 30th, 2008 26
Your childhood sounds idyllic, Barbara – and it’s great the way you connected with your extended family. I’m so sorry about your mother’s death – the way it happened has echoes of what happened when my mother lost hers. I really appreciate having the opportunity to hear your story – thanks.
2:34 pm on October 30th, 2008 27
Hi Robin – Yes, I have lots and lots of wonderful memories from my childhood. It certainly gave me a great foundation. That was a time when most of the relatives lived close to each other and those frequent family gatherings were possible. I’m happy you enjoyed the interview.
10:27 am on October 31st, 2008 28
@ Linda Abbit:
So I’ve been the “Barbara Wah Wah” of the blogging world? Cool! Thanks for the wonderful compliment.
I just came back last night from Dallas where I did a keynote presentation at Frito-Lay and was thrilled to see the comment section buzzing with lots of people talking back and forth.
So here’s my HELLO to everyone who participated in this week’s interview. Even though I was away, I was still getting comments via my Blackberry so I was keeping track although not responding until this morning.
10:29 am on October 31st, 2008 29
@ Sharmaine:
It excites me to know end to be someone who can bring out the best in other people by asking the “right” questions, allowing a person to reach inside and pull out information that can help others on the written page.
I’m tickled pink to be told by some people that my questions are better than “Barbara Wha-Wha” – could this be the universe’s way of telling me I ought to go into show biz as a talk show host? LOL.
10:36 am on October 31st, 2008 30
@ Vintage Mommy:
I know what you mean about “that phone call forever changing your life.”
Our life is a series of defining moments like that. When you look back and you see your life unfolding, you’re bound to see a bunch of significant moments that “forever impacted” you on a deep level.
That phone call that you got was one of them. I’ll bet you have many more!
10:37 am on October 31st, 2008 31
@ Patricia:
I’m glad you enjoyed the questions Patricia – you’re welcome. Thanks to you for being a part of this special series too! I’m grateful it made a difference to your life in some way, form or shape.
It’s why I do this!
10:40 am on October 31st, 2008 32
@ Barbara Swafford:
Oh my dear Barbara – you and Jennifer will forever remain in the archives! In fact, your names are prominently displayed on an increasingly longer page at this location where I list every single person I’ve interviewed. You can think of this spot as the “hall of fame”:
http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com/stephen-hopson-interviews/
10:53 am on October 31st, 2008 33
@ Jennifer:
I second your sentiments about Barbara having a video of that monkey spinning around her. That would have be uproariously funny!
You’re right – laughing at ourselves is pretty liberating indeed. I take advantage of sharing those moments at speaking engagements because they make me seem more human up there. We all have them. It takes courage to share especially embarrassing moments.
10:55 am on October 31st, 2008 34
@ Davina:
It was my pleasure to share Barbara with the rest of the blogging world. I’m grateful to have a place to do this. It was almost a year ago when this interview series was born and I had no idea what would come of it. I’m so lucky to find good people like her to be interviewed.
11:06 am on October 31st, 2008 35
@ Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker:
And I have been a fan of yours too! Your own story in dealing with incest in a public forum is absolutely incredible. You have more courage than a hundred people in a room!
I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying these interviews because I see they’ve touched you in a deep profound way like the one with Barbara. That alone makes my day.
11:08 am on October 31st, 2008 36
@ Ari Koinuma:
Isn’t it interesting how this interview gently brought her out from behind the veil? I am proud of how that happened because as you can see, it attracted a flood of comments from people all over the world who were touched by her stories, including you.
Way cool!
11:11 am on October 31st, 2008 37
@ Patti:
Isn’t it amazing when you hear from other people, it changes our perspective on things? In other words, you heard about Barbara’s devastating loss of her father and how that pulled the siblings together. When compared to your own perceived losses, they turn out not to be a big as we thought they were.
Life is indeed a matter of perception.
11:15 am on October 31st, 2008 38
@ Urban Panther:
I’m trying to do the same thing by visiting my parents as often as I can – they frequently drive down from New York to Virginia to visit my brother. When they are there, I make time to visit at the same time. I always leave feeling grateful for the connection. Like your folks, mine are in their 70′s and in “relatively good health.” They have some health issues but appear to be doing good despite them.
12:45 pm on November 1st, 2008 39
Dear Barbara -
(and Stephen!)
You are a person to be admired and destined to inspire others with your life.
I was particularly touched by your story of your Mother’s death. I lost my mother too and although it was not recent, I still think for a second about calling her on the telephone to tell her something funny that happened. I forget she is gone!
I did her eulogy at the funeral and I said,
“We have all lost the best sudience we will ever have!”
You never get over losses. They change you forever.