If you’ve been following my journey on the Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest in the last month or so, you know I’ve been steadily advancing through different levels all the way up to the District finals, held yesterday at the Sheraton Hotel in Independence, Ohio.

Simply by the title of this post, I already gave away the surprise of telling you that I won.  Many of you have been sending me emails on how this journey has inspired you to look into the possibility of joining Toastmasters.  I even heard from a young man from Singapore saying the same thing!

Humbled and grateful at this response, I felt inspired to share with you six tips that were crucial to winning first place.  They are not by any means exhaustive, but I believe you will find them useful because many of you will be called upon to give a speech at least once in your lifetime.

I joined Toastmasters for a variety of reasons.  To some of you, the very name “Toastmasters” might conjure up images of amateur speakers.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  While Toastmasters definitely helps people get started with public speaking, it’s also a great place for experienced speakers like myself to congregate.  In the club I belong to, we have about four or five professional speakers on the roster.

When speaking professionally, you don’t always get constructive feedback from your audience other than obvious signs like the applause (which is something you should NEVER strive for but it is a form of immediate feedback), laughs, smiles or tears, among other things like eyes fluttering, fannies shifting furiously or people going to the restroom repeatedly, etc.   While they are great indicators of how you’ve done, they are not always helpful in terms of how to tighten up your speech or make it more powerful.

By being a part of this unique group, I am given immediate feedback, both uplifting and constructive.  It’s also a great way to be part of something where everyone knows exactly what you’re going through.   This fosters a warm feeling of comradeship.  In a funny sort of way, it’s like a support group for new and experienced speakers alike.

But there’s another reason why I joined.

It’s the opportunity to participate in speech competitions where your oratory skills are truly put to the test in pressure-packed situations.  Such was the case throughout my ascend to the District finals.

As you know from previous posts, I began at the club level where fellow club members “graded” my first presentation.  After winning first place on that level, I moved on to the Area Contest after which I advanced to the Division and finally the District.  Every time I moved up, the caliber of other speakers got better and therefore more “challenging.”

What I found interesting was that I fell in and out of sync throughout the different times I spoke.  In other words, depending on how I was feeling, the location of the speech and the energy from the audience, I found myself performing better or worse.   Even my professional speaking friends have confided that there were some speeches they wish they had never given.   Not every speech you give, no matter how well prepared you are, will be to your liking (or the audience’s).   That’s life!

When I first gave the presentation at the club level, I felt very much in sync because my “inner child” came out to play.   However, during the very same speech at the Area Contest a few weeks later, my mouth was parched and the inner child mostly stayed indoors.  In fact, I rushed through that one only to find out halfway that I was talking too fast.  Somehow I managed to salvage it by slowing down a bit.  At the Divisional level, I returned  to the same “zone” that I experienced the first time around only to fall out of sync again at the District level.

What the hell?

Let me explain what I mean by this.  Feeling in or out of sync is something you feel internally.  It’s not something that the audience necessarily picks up on.  Only you know how you’re feeling inside.  Believe it or not, this is nothing new to speakers.  It’s part of the flow.  We all have our ups and downs.  Just be prepared for that.  It’s normal.

But the key, whether you feel in sync or not, is to make a vital connection with your audience each and every time.  Here are six ways I’ve done exactly that:

Never Make Fun of Anyone Except Yourself

There was this speaker at the Area Contest who made fun of his pregnant wife and even one of the judges.  Fatal mistake.   I can’t speak for the women in that audience, some of who might have been offended, but crikey, slapping the judge on the arm and calling him FAT?

Whoa!

When a speaker is up on the platform, he is given tremendous power and often put up on a pedestal, whether he likes it or not.  Some people might feel as if they aren’t as successful as the speaker and put up a defensive stance as if saying, “What have you got to tell me I don’t already know about, huh?”

However, the minute you make fun of yourself, you immediately knock down invisible walls the audience subconsciously erected.   Resistance begins to fall away because now you’ve made yourself “real,” just like them.  You show the human side of yourself with the same kind of challenges they’ve had.  Most importantly, you’ve given them permission to laugh at your expense.

The story I used was “The James Bond Lady Fiasco” which happened in the mid-eighties when I was a moderately successful Wall Street banker who still had trouble coming to terms with his deafness.  Had this been someone else’s story, it could have been disastrous, even insulting.   But because I made fun of myself, it was “okay.”

Even When You Know You Are Missing Key Pieces of a Story, Keep Going

The marvelous thing about speaking is that because you are sharing your own life’s story, the audience usually has no clue that you forgot to say something, especially if they’re hearing it for the first time.

So what do you do when that happens?  You just keep going!  When I felt “out of sync” those couple of times, I had to fight the urge to let it unravel, which is way more easier than you think.  I could have let my energy peter out or fumbled.  But I kept going.

When I was at the Area Contest, my mouth got super dry and I left out a few key pieces that were too late to incorporate because I was much further along in the story.  It would have interrupted the flow to go back and add them in.  Only in certain cases will it work to add, “Oh by the way…..” but not always.

If and when you stumble during a speech, just keep going - no one will know what happened except you!

Allow Your Inner Child to Come Out

I can’t speak for those who are routinely called to speak in front of CEO’s and other high powered corporate executives, but I’ve discovered that by “coming down from the podium” and allowing my inner child to come out to play works wonders.

Think of it this way.  What’s your reaction when you see a child running amok, jumping gleefully in the sunshine, romping without a care in the world?  You laugh, right?  You think, “Oh how cute.”  You’re immediately disarmed.

The good news is you can release your inner child on the stage too!   A speaker who does that is never perceived as boring and stuffy.  I’d much rather see and hear a speaker who is authentic than a “perfectly coiffed speaker.”   A certain kind of bonding takes place - I am paid paid thousands of dollars to come out and play!  Why can’t you?

While I was sharing the “James Bond Lady Fiasco” story, I acted out certain parts of the story as if I were an actor in a play, changing my behavior and tone of voice to portray certain characters.  That gave the audience permission to let their inner child to come out too!

A very powerful way to connect with your audience.

Exaggerate Certain Portions of Your Story

This goes hand in hand with the inner child thing.  As a speaker (or even writer), you are given a license to expand and exaggerate even when it borders on the ridiculous.   In fact, the more you exaggerate, the funnier it can be as long as you don’t overdo it.   Overdoing it makes it appear as if you’re trying too hard.

How do you know how much to play?  Experiment.  Try out different ways of exaggerating until you get it right.  The light bulb wasn’t invented after just one experiment - it took Thomas Edison 10,000 trials!

In the beginning of the “James Bond Lady” story, I described what happened when I ordered my second martini of the night.  Just as the bartender gave me the drink, I described how I had seen a “ten foot lady who looked like she had just stepped out of a James Bond movie walk in the bar.”  And then I related how she was wearing a mink coat that trailed after her 50 feet, with a red dress, red shoes and bloody red fingernails.  By painting an outrageously funny scene in the minds of the audience, I was setting it up for their enjoyment.

Of course, everyone knew that there was no such thing as a 50 foot mink coat draped on a ten foot lady but they didn’t care!    Have you ever listened to a comedian jabber onstage without the use of exaggeration?

Exactly my point!

Go ahead and blow up your story for their entertainment.  They’ll love you for it!  The more bizarre and weird it is, the better.   Just DO IT.

You’ll figure it out! i know you can.

Make Sure The Story is Relevant

Have you ever heard a speaker ramble off “Ten Steps to Happiness” only to find yourself falling asleep?  Why do you think that happened?

No one wants to be told the ABC’s of anything unless it has a relevant and compelling story behind it.  ONLY THEN they will remember the point(s) you are trying to make.

I closed the speech by saying “Anytime you’re tempted to be inauthentic, think again!”

Not only did they get it but they also had a good time too!

Delve Into Your Life’s Experiences and You’ll Find a Treasure Trove of Stories to Tell

How many of you are thinking, “Well, my life isn’t as interesting as yours”?

Think again.

How do people get inspired?  What if you told them about some of the obstacles you had to overcome?  Those moments where you were striving toward a goal only to have the jaws of defeat snatch it away from you?  Or embarrassing situations you found yourself in?

We’ve all had those kinds of experiences, haven’t we?

Write down a list of different experiences you’ve had.  Then when you’re inspired, write out the story from start to finish.  Work on deleting redundant parts and pretty soon you have a speech!

Put it this way - if you learned something from your own experiences, doesn’t it make sense that your audience will not only identify with you but also learn something from you?

Immediate Feedback I Received After the Contest Was Over:

• A man came up to me to tell me he was a pilot too.  Just before he walked away, he fought to stem the tide of emotion from overtaking him.  I could tell he wanted to hug me.  He probably wasn’t the only one who felt like that.   To know that I inspired someone is the greatest feeling in the world!
• An unidentified lady (apparently a Toastmaster official) encouraged me to participate in the Spring 2009 contest that goes all the way to the International level, saying that I had tremendous potential to go that far.
• Another lady told me how she enjoyed the way I exaggerated certain things like “the mink coat that trailed for 50 feet.”  She also added that I had a great stage presence.

The point of sharing this feedback was not to boast but to demonstrate the power of following those six tips I just shared with you.  Use them!

And finally:

For those of you who have been following my raw food experience, I have a special treat for you coming very soon:

• New Raw Food Blog to be called “Stephen Gone Raw dot com”
• Green Smoothie Recipe that I’ve been drinking almost every morning, giving me incredible energy throughout the day
• My first experience with a Certified Colonic Hydrotherapist (I have an appointment on Monday, October 20th).  ACK, ACK, ACK!

Stay tuned!

Food for thought:  What else do you think makes for an inspiring, powerful speaker?

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