Continuing from Part I with a woman destined to change the world of women, empowering and uplifting them.

Welcome back Sharmaine!

9.  We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

I don’t have a dark side.  I don’t think of myself in that way.  There are areas in my life that need to be “shored up”, like giving myself the same care that I so easily and effortlessly give to others; listening to my own advice; asking for help when I need it.

Stephen’s Response:  It’s true – I was just talking to a friend today on a long nature walk that contrary to what people think, it is NOT selfish to nurture and take care of ourselves because if we don’t, we’ll be miserable and then nobody will want to be around us!  It’s like the overworked mother who does everything for her family but doesn’t take time out to take herself to the spa or go out to a movie with friends.  Excellent that you are aware of this.

10.  What would you say was the defining moment (personal tipping point per sey) that forever changed the course of your life?  For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

There have been several defining moments ( I love Kevin Costner’s quote in “Tin Cup” about defining moments…he says, “in a defining moment, either you will define the moment or the moment will define you.”)

Sorry I can’t just point to one…these were all pivotal for me:

* Being a single mother at such a young age was a defining moment because I was so ill prepared, but I followed my mother’s example as a model and it turned out alright with the help of my parents.  I do believe that had I not been a single Mom, I would not be the woman I am today.  So I am grateful for this blessing that yielded a much more mature woman in me and of course, my son.  At that moment, I knew that my life would not be like the life of my friends.  I had to grow up overnight and be responsible for another person.

* Really developing a true relationship with Jesus Christ was a defining moment because it shifted both my focus and pathway which is what led me to where I am today.  I could not have weathered all the storms in my life had I not been anchored in Him.

* Deciding to leave my job in 1982 and go into business for myself was another defining moment.  That decision pointed me in a different life direction that called up latent skills and talents that would never have been cultivated if I had stayed at my job.   I was surrounded by motivated people and possibility and a different mindset.

Stephen’s Response:  You have a lifetime of stories that would make for not only great speaking topics but also chapters of a book!  I’ve had similiar defining moments like making the decision and following through on quitting a career on Wall Street to follow my dreams of becoming an inspirational speaker (and later pilot).   I love Kevin Costner’s quote about how either we define the moment or it defines us.  Very powerful!

11.  At Adversity University, I often talk abut the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity.  How have you dealt with adversity in your life?  Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.

Adversity has been a gift in my life that has yielded great dividends to me.  Once I understood adversity and tracked down its root, I was able to befriend it and it showed me the “runway.”  I found my rhythm in life and before long, I was back in the zone!

I gained understanding and learned the lessons that adversity was trying to teach me.  In much of my adversity, life was trying to teach me something or to get my attention when I wasn’t paying attention.  I wasn’t mindful of what I was doing or nor did I understand how cause and effect worked in my life.  Some of it came out of left field and blindsided me, but most of it I created for myself because I was “asleep” in life.  This describes the shift in perception that occurred.

In particular, some of the adversity that I’ve experienced (in addition to the other things previously mentioned) include the following:

I hadn’t built my life on a strong foundation, so the smallest wind came to “huff and puff and blew my life in”.  After breaking all state and even national sales records and being the top producer in my office, my life unraveled.

I had to start all over again.  I had to experience failure in a new way, having to live through the scrutiny of friends, family and colleagues.

This was another of life’s gifts to me… losing everything taught me what was truly important in life and that the most important thing is not “what other people think”.

The most important thing was to get back up again.  It was “now what?”    It took three weeks to recover, but while meditating on the quote “In every adversity, there is a seed of opportunity,” I asked myself what business I could start.

I was so deeply entrenched in the insurance business and the message was that “if you were a failure, you would never succeed at anything.”  I had to deprogram this message out of my brain and heart.

The good news was that God inspired me to help other people who were going through the exact same thing I had been through…credit problems.

I had no money at all…just faith and I was back in business.  I spoke to 10 people and asked for free rent to start my business.    They all turned me down.  The 11^th person agreed to give me a six month trial and told me I’d have to move after six months or I’d have to sign a lease.

After they put in wood paneling and carpeting in a storage room, I was back in business.  Within six months, I earned enough money to pay the rent.  Everyone from the phone, light to office equipment company went out of their way to help me.  I started a credit business only knowing just a little bit more than most of the people that came to me.  How I became an “expert” was by solving their problems.  As I was counseling and teaching them to avoid what I had gone through, I was healing my inner self.  I was able to reframe what happened to me by helping others go through it.  That’s when I learned that each phase of life is a building block for something else.

The insurance industry prepared me for the credit business which prepared me for the real estate business which further equipped me for whenwomenawaken.com.

Stumbling blocks are stepping stones!

Stephen’s Response:  Whew!  What a journey.  The biggest takeaway from all this is that we are life’s perpetual trainee – always being prepared to handle what comes our way down the road.  I’m also reminded that God never gives us more than we can handle, which is why it’s so important to trust and have faith that we can do it (like this 30 day “Tim Ferris Diet” I’ve put myself through – LOL).

12.  What is your most favorite word?  Least favorite?

Congruent is a word I love.  I love the way it sounds and I love what it means.

My least favorite word is NO.

Stephen’s Response:  Yes, the word “congruent” to me, means being in alignment with our spiritual purpose in life.

13.  What was the most embarrassing moment of your life that you now look back at and laugh, or cry or smile?  What was the lesson you learned?

What came to mind as my most embarrassing moment was when I had nothing and had to drive to the gas station and get .42 worth of gas.  I was hoping for a miracle.  I prayed  to God, “you have to do something.”  It was almost as if he said to my heart “YOU do something.”

I didn’t know what to do.

I felt led to go through all of my pants pockets, the sofa cushions, the kitchen drawers, the glove box in the car, the ground, everywhere I could think to look.  I found .42.  The gas hand was on empty.  I decided that I would go to the tackle shop because no one would be there getting gas and I would tell the cashier that I had left my wallet at home.

When I arrived at the tackle shop, there were about 4 or 5 other people lined up to get gas.  I pumped the .42 worth of gas and in my best navy suit, went in to pay the attendant and explained I had left my (empty) wallet at home.  I drove to the post office which was about 3 blocks from the gas station, hoping for a miracle and found one!  There was a check for $500 waiting for me.  I was able to go back to the gas station, fill up the car (my son’s Dodge Omni) and my faith was renewed.

It was embarrassing, but character -building.  In addition to humility, I learned two things: sometimes you’re waiting on God and he is waiting on you and I also learned that when you take a leap of faith, the net will appear.

Stephen’s Response:  What a vivid scene you just painted for us!  My goodness, 42 cents?  You’d not go very far in this day and age with that.  In fact, you’d be lucky to buy yourself a pack of gum at that amount!  Wow.  This is a very inspirational story – I loved how it ended with a $500 check waiting for you.  Where did it come from?

I once heard Carol Burnett was so determined to attend a certain drama school but she came from a poor family.  There was no way they could pay her way but she had a burning desire.  A vision.  I don’t know how long it took for it to happen but one day there was a check in the mail for the entire tuition!   These things do happen – you just have to believe them.

14.  What three books, blogs and or/mentors have influenced you and why?

These are books that actually caused profound changes in my life.

*  The Purpose Driven Life caused me to really think about my life purpose and was also a catalyst for me thinking about what I was put here to do.  After reading that book, I knew there was a higher purpose for me and I got started on it.

*  Simple Abundance -  I didn’t get the message until the second time around.  When it first came out I bought it, but I didn’t “get it”…the message.  I came across it on my self imposed sabbatical when I turned 50 and it really spoke to me and caused me to start peeling off the layers to find my true authenticity.  It walked me through finding some of the answers I needed for my life while reading it  and it led to me having my first Sisterfriends meetings in my home.

*  Journey of the Peace Pilgrim -This is the story of a phenomenal woman who walked more than 25,000 miles for peace with only the clothes on her back.  I found her writings on the internet about 4 years ago and they kept coming across my path.   It details her philosophy for inner peace and world peace and the preparations she had to make in her life to answer this “call.”    Her writings profoundly impacted me as I was making the shift in my life. The book empowered me to go forth because if she could walk 25,000 I felt I could do my part in the world too.

Stephen’s Response:  I absolutely loved “Journey of the Peace Pilgrim.”  It was an incredibly inspiring story and got me thinking of creating a foundation for peace down the road.  With all the wars in the world, racial divide and hatred in certain quarters of the globe, we desperately need peace.  This woman was an embodiment of peace.  I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it.

15.  Name the top five articles from www.whenwomenawaken.com that you feel Adversity University could benefit from.

The five articles that I think will have the most impact are:

• Strong in the Broken Places
• Throwing in the towel…don’t do it!
• Unshakeable Faith
• Divine Answers
• The Jaguar Story

Stephen’s Response:  Since these are not on the Internet in the form of links, anyone who wants to see a copy of it should contact you, right?  My favorite of all time was “The Jaguar Story.”  It was fantastically inspiring.  It was about your dreams of manifesting a Jaguar that actually happened.  It sent chills up my spine!

16.  What do you hope that God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I hope that God will say “Well done, Sharmaine…you have used your life for the greater good.  I’ve reserved a very special place for you.”

Stephen’s Response:  Well, guess what Sharmaine?  We have a special place for you right here (pointing to my heart).

17.  Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear.  Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

I love the sound of the ocean, the waves, and the splash.

I dislike the constant ring of the cell phone.  Mine has been on “silent” for 3 years now. (It blinks.)

Stephen’s Response:  For obvious reasons, I enjoy reading people’s answers to this question for I’ve never heard a sound in my life.  It’s fun to learn what sounds people like and don’t like.  It would be like a blind person asking what sights seeing people enjoy the most and describing it for him/her.

18.  We all have our likes and dislikes.  What would you say turns you on and what turns you off?  Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

Using my creativity turns me on.  Being able to get lost in time doing something meaningful to me.

Pessimism turns me off.

Stephen’s Response:  Oh yes, pessimism turns me off too!  I love getting creative, like I’m doing right now (composing my responses to your answers – it’s loads of fun!).

19. What’s the biggest, boldest dream you have for yourself Sharmaine?

The biggest, boldest dream I have for myself right now is to help women awaken and become the woman they were born to be…my women’s transformation movement.

I set a goal last September to reach 100,000 women and though the journey has just begun, women are telling other women!  A mentor helped me crack my code and now I want to give that same gift to other women…helping them crack theirs and crystallizing the precise point of impact where change and transformation can take place in their lives.

I’d love to have a powerful web presence that would be a happy and empowering place for women  to visit and be inspired.  I’d like to build a wonderful and powerful community of women.   I’m putting in place tools and programs that will help women “cut through” to their personal best selves. (Ex.  A blueprint program, The Metamorphosis Process, Teleseminars, group mentoring and Weekend Retreats).

I am also self publishing my book “When Women Awaken” this fall.

I’d like to invite women who long to be connected, renewed or rejuvenated to join me for a phenomenal girls outing this winter, The Sisterfriends Renew Your Strength Cruise to the Bahamas on December 12-15^th, 2008.

And someday I’d love to host a radio show or local cable TV show.

My boldest dream…that I learned something along the way about myself as a woman and believe that I can help other women find that same strength and resource within themselves to change their lives.  Whether 1 life is changed, 100, 100,000 or maybe someday more, this I know for sure…when women awaken…mountains MOVE!

To find out more,  visit me on the web at www.whenwomenawaken.com or via email at Sharmaine@comcast.net

Stephen before I sign off, I’d like to thank you answering the call to your life to inspire us not just with your words but by your example! We’ve never met, but I feel like I know you.  You have a beautiful spirit and I consider your blog to be my “home”.   I feel connected to and like I know many of the people who write in.

Thank you for bringing us all together.  Your light is shining so brightly and I know have a divine calling on your life.

Thank you for the gift of your friendship and for allowing me to share my life and my dream with Adversity University.   Wishing you all good things!

“There are two important days in a woman’s life…the day she was born and the day she finds out why she was born.” (Guys, I’m sending you love too; please help spread the word also.)

Stephen’s Response:  Good gracious!  That’s one hellva plan for your life to make a huge impact!  Thank YOU for coming here to be with us.  I appreciate how the universe aligned everything to bring us together.  Mark my words, we will meet in due time!

Well, everyone, what did you think of this incredible woman?  I heard many of you have already made connections with her.  I’m so glad to be a part of that.  It pleases me to bring people together like this.  I’m sure all of you will enjoy one another.  Just don’t forget to invite me to speak at a group gathering or something!  It would be a high honor to do just that.

Until next time, enjoy the rest of the week!

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