For some strange reason this past weekend turned out to be one where my energy simply went flat for no apparent reason. Well, actually there was a reason but I’ll go into that in a moment.
While I wouldn’t label it “depression” (family has no history of depression clinical or otherwise), I simply felt “blah.” (Photo credit: photocillin)
I had no motivation to do anything, not even write a post. All I wanted to do was sit and think. We all know what happens when we allow ourselves to do that – we encounter inertia – maybe even fall into the mental abyss.
Have you ever been there?
So there I was, at home, with absolutely nothing to do (by choice) and feeling no energy whatsoever. I was thinking to myself, “GASP, a motivational speaker and life coach whose normally vibrant energy flatlined this weekend?!?! MY GOD HOW COULD THIS BE??”
The next thing I heard in my head was “Get over yourself!”
The funny thing when you’re consciously aware and truly take responsibility for your life, you know you can’t get away with sitting around with nothing but time on your hands for very long. By this point in your life, your inner voices has simply become too loud for you to ignore because you cleared the way for that to happen.
On the other hand, an unconscious person might languish away, letting the clock tick without a care in the world and not be aware that he’s really making a choice to be this way.
Nevertheless, I allowed myself to waddle in the morass of low energy most of this weekend, fully conscious of what I was doing but not doing a single thing about it.
On Sunday morning when I woke up, I finally forced myself to take action.
“Okay,my boy,” I said to myself, “you’re going to church, even if you don’t feel like going!”
Somehow the mere act of making that decision gave the EKG line a bit of a spike upwards. It was a good start.
Why?
Because I knew that being around other positive people was the perfect antidote to low energy. Interestingly enough, when I find myself on the lowdown, it usually means I am lacking human companionship. No wonder some of my friends have been trying to convince me that I need a dog!
Good heavens! A dog? (Oh, yes, I can just envision a cute cuddly little Jack Russell terrier rushing up to me every time I walked in the door!)
Feeling more energetic after the sermon, it occurred to me that if I could round up a few people to join me for a visit to the Hamburger Festival in downtown Akron, it might be fun and lift me up even more. But when I looked out the window, my shoulders slumped at the sight of the pouring rain. I turned to a friend and said, “Want to get a bite to eat somewhere?” (Photo: thinker594)
After a pleasant lunch, we parted ways. She had some errands to run while I had…well, a list of things to do that you would have thought I’d feel inspired to do but I didn’t.
My energy went pfff……..
Again.
I was back to alternating between my couch, the green plastic chair on the balcony and my swivel chair in the office where I just stared at the computer, not wanting to touch the keyboard.
Strange, huh? Are you shocked? Well, what can I say?
A few hours later, the sun came back out and a new thought pierced the mental fog.
What if I called my friend and re-invited her to the Hamburger Festival? Why not? It’s no longer raining and it’s nice out again.
Unfortunately, her answering machine picked up so I left a voice message (through the special relay operator service see “Telephone” to see how I conduct phone calls).
Just when I was about to shrug my shoulders in resignation and go back to the couch, another thought came rippling through, this one a little bolder than the first.
Text her cell phone, now.
TEXT MESSAGE: “Hey, just left a voice message on your machine about the Hamburger Festival. Want to go? I’m coming up to your place RIGHT NOW to pick you up. See ya!”
Deep down, I knew that if I didn’t take bold action like bolting out the door and careening up to her house instead of “hoping she’d get back to me,” I probably would never have left. And you know what? She was there, ready to go, expecting me to show up any minute because of that text little message!
On our way downtown, I poured out my troubles to her, including a situation I had recently gotten myself into.
“There’s something else I haven’t told you about that I think is the culprit here.”
Her head literally went through the driver side window when she jerked back and stared at me as if I was about to confess to a murder or something.
I said, “Someone parted with some confidential information recently and I made the egregious mistake of letting it slip to another person. I am quite upset with myself over this. Ever since I was a kid, I always prided myself with the role of keeping everyone’s secrets and not judging them for their actions or thoughts. Now I feel I might have forever lost the trust of that person.”
She replied, “Was your intent malicious?” knowing how I would respond since she knew me so well.
“No, of course not,” I affirmed.
“Well, then just hand it over to God. You’re human. Forgive yourself. You were trying to be helpful. Just let it go and be okay with it. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Let’s just go get ourselves a big juicy burger and have FUN! Alright?”
Let me tell you, my fellow friends, my first thought was, “WOW.” I felt an immediate surge of energy that was missing all weekend. It was truly a beautiful feeling.
Oh, the power of connectivity!
SPECIAL NOTE: Thanks goes to Michael Lee Stallard, author of FIRED UP or BURNED OUT. A dominant theme throughout his book is the importance and power of true connectivity. I’ve been reading his book and his words inspired me to reach out to my friend this weekend. Thanks Michael!
Food for thought: Do you find yourself isolating yourself because you “just don’t feel like doing anything?”
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7:43 pm on July 21st, 2008 1
Connectivity, and maybe a little self-forgiveness and “getting it out there” too. That’s a great story, especially since I experience that often. I just figure it’s life doing its thing–coming in waves, ebbing, rolling, twisting, and sometimes stopping abruptly. Glad you came out of it!
8:52 pm on July 21st, 2008 2
I definitely seek peace and quiet in solitude. And like you, I eventually snap out of it on my own.
It’s not a full-blown depression, but sometimes our minds get tired. It’s natural to take a break, to rest. In fact, I’ve been meaning to write a blog on this topic myself — about how you need to allow yourself to go through some mild depressions. Because it’s a sign from your heart saying you’re tired and you need a break. To forbid yourself from going through some lull is akin to staying up and working without sleeping.
Sounds like you dealt with it just fine.
ari
Ari Koinumas last blog post..Low Self-Esteem Is the Root of All Problems (Digest)
7:08 am on July 22nd, 2008 3
Ryan:
The reason it felt great to write this article is because I know we’ve all experienced this at one time or another. It felt cathartic to write this.
You’re right – life is exactly like how you described it. Ebbing, flowing, coming, going, rising, falling, etc. But the funny thing is that despite its chaotic appearance, there is precise order in the universe at all times.
It’s hard to believe but it’s true – think of all the times things have happened at “just the right time with the right people at the right place.” Circumstances that you could never have orchestrated on your own. I love that! It’s such a mystery.
7:13 am on July 22nd, 2008 4
Art:
First of all, welcome to Adversity University! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts for the first time and participating.
I love how you said “it’s a sign that your heart is tired and needs a break.” Very cool quote! Your thoughts echoed what my friend said which was “Just let it go, go with the flow and just BE.”
I am intrigued that you are a Japanese-born, US-based blogger, musician, entrepreneur and web professional. I’m going to follow you on Twitter because you seem like a very interesting person to get to know. Thanks for stopping in!
I am intrigued to have someone like you from
9:51 am on July 22nd, 2008 5
Stephen, you are so driven! I am glad that you worked this out, because sometimes we need a little ‘kick in the pants’ like this to remind us of our frailties. Being inspiring and uplifting others all the time is a heck of a burden.
Give yourself some time for reflection a little more often, it’s the pause that refreshes!
10:22 am on July 22nd, 2008 6
@Stephen:
Yes, Stephen a “kick in the pants” is what many of us need and it comes in all sorts of sizes, shapes, forms.
I admit I’m driven – you got that right. I’ve been that way all my life. So when the going gets slow or when it appears nothing is happening on the surface, sometimes I let my energy go fppplhhhh……..like this past weekend.
How I reached out and connected was a great reminder to myself how powerful it is to connect with another human being. It’s incredible – really.
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. You are always full of wisdom!
2:47 pm on July 22nd, 2008 7
Hey Stephen…. Great ideas. You know, I find myself going both ways. At times I need company, at times solitude. No telling which way I will go. Sometimes the solitude is the best. Just me, a chair, a pleasant meditation, tea, my notebook. The clarity and peace are priceless. I’ve found that there is enormous power it simply sitting, just sitting, letting everything be exactly as it is. Remarkable, really.
Tom Stine | Spiritual Life Coachs last blog post..In Spiritual Life There Is No Room for Compromise – Jack Kornfield
3:51 pm on July 22nd, 2008 8
Hi Stephen,
First,it is great that you have the courage to share this with others. As you know I practice Buddhism, and I too shared a similiar experience with about 100 members this weekend. I know it encourages others to hear people overcome obstacles and win, like you did. Even motivational speakers are human beings, and we all have sad, hard days. The important thing is to never give up and have the courage to ask for guidance when we need it. I too find that it is so important to be with positive people, to help each other win! Congratulations on your victory!! Thanks for being you! love and peace, Patti
6:20 pm on July 22nd, 2008 9
Tom:
I love how we sometimes end up having a conversation through the comment section here. It’s fun!
I know how important it is to have solitude because it’s an opportunity to let ideas come through and make way for new opportunities, providing action is taken, of course.
On the other hand, too much solitude can drive someone nuts, don’t you think? LOL.
Thanks for your input – you’re truly a spirit.
6:27 pm on July 22nd, 2008 10
Patty:
What a thrill to see you back here again – you’ve learned how to use the comment section even though you’re not familiar with blogs in general. I’m happy to hear from you.
Yes, I know, we all hit pockets of low energy. I’m glad I shared it because it was cathartic for me plus it probably helped someone else going through the same thing.
You inspire me too! I’ve been watching you move forward, day by day, towards your dreams. Your heart is in the right place.
8:25 am on July 23rd, 2008 11
Stephen, great post, and a nice story which we can all relate to.
These occasional tendencies towards solitude are a necesity, I think. As Ari says, we all need the break. I like to think of it as a sort of temporary maintenence phase when your brain sifts through and sorts out everything it’s absorbed in recent times and sets it into some sort of usable pattern to move forward.
I believe dreams have a similar function, but perhaps there are some things that simply have to be sorted out in a conscious state. I guess you just learn to roll with this little bit of darkness, and await the inevitable dawn to come.
Samirs last blog post..I’ve Never Read an Ayn Rand Book
10:17 am on July 23rd, 2008 12
You know the saying, “Idle minds is the devil’s workshop”… something to that effect..? We have to be careful not to let that happen.
And research shows that if you keep your mind active often, it is less likely that Alzheimer’s disease would occur.
Nitas last blog post..A Child’s Admonishment
10:39 am on July 24th, 2008 13
Dear Stephen,
Whooooooooa … be gentle with yourself.
A weekend of ‘inertia’ is not such a bad thing.!
Being the ‘driven’ person that you are, had
you scheduled yourself some ‘down time’, you no
doubt would have accepted it more easily than
this down time, that sort of sucker punched you.
Maybe you can use this past weekend as a lesson
for your future. Next time you notice this low
energy, just embrace it for the time.
Tell yourself that you need the re-charge that doing
absolutely nothing brings. It’s at that point where
you notice -IT- that you plan how to move forward.
AND… it was listening to the ~messages~ that really
got your butt in gear. Bless those messages.
Your long absent friend,
Deb ~ wink
11:36 am on July 24th, 2008 14
Samir:
You’re right – the occasional solitude to reflect is very important – I totally agree with that.
I like how you put it – “temporary maintenance phase.” That’s a good one. When you think about it, your brain is absorbing a ton of stuff every single minute. It’s amazing to know just how much it’s taking on. No wonder we need a maintenance period, as you say.
Thanks for chiming in.
11:40 am on July 24th, 2008 15
Nita:
I wonder who coined that phrase “idle minds is the devil’s workshop”? I’ll bet it’d be fascinating to find out how it originated.
One thing I think is true is that the more you exercise your brain muscles (i.e. reading, doing crossword puzzles, etc.), the less chance you have of encountering Alzheimer’s. Good point.
But like the others are saying here, sometimes we need a maintenance mode. I guess I didn’t care too much for it this time around. I was literally going nuts so I’m glad I reached out to a friend. That really helped a lot.
12:13 pm on July 24th, 2008 16
Deb:
To my so-called “long-absent” friend – WELCOME BACK! You’ve been missed. How has the summer been going for you? I hope this finds you well.
I had to smile when you said “wekend of inertia” is not necessarily a bad thing. That’s true. And normally, I’m cool with it but not that weekend. I needed human companionship and so reaching out like that really helped. I guess with experience we can tell whether we are in need of the presence of another human being or if we are uncomfortable being alone.
I recognize that there’s always the possibility of the fear of being alone but to tell you the truth, I’m actually very comfortable with it. I love the solitude but too much of it is not a good thing. I guess that’s what I’m saying.
Believe it or not, even though I see “thousands of people” in any given year through my speaking engagements, it’s very easy to feel alone. Yes, I make wonderful connections but you know what I’m saying, right? It’s kinda like how a celebrity can be so famous and known by everyone in the world (not that I am one, hahaha, just giving you an example) but still feel alone. You know what I mean?
So, like I said before to the others, I’m glad I reached out because sometimes we need to do that. And it’s a miracle what happens when you take that bold step forward. Picture ET and the little boy making that connection. Wink wink.
12:57 pm on August 1st, 2008 17
[...] The Power of Connectivity When Your Energy Flatlines [...]
7:41 pm on August 1st, 2008 18
I can not begin to tell you how having a dog helps me with some of those please don’t make me leave the house moments. I promised that she would be cared or – and because of that everytime I walk her – we do 3 miles a day – Guess who’s taken care of instead!
PS – I declare monday’s as official pajama day – it allows me to be purposefully slovenly.
9:43 pm on August 1st, 2008 19
@ Mother Earth:
I can certainly relate to the sentiments of having a dog. I remember when I was a kid and my family would go on camping trips, taking the dog with us. We’d leave to go into town or something and I would always talk to the dog saying things like, “Now, you be a good girl, we’ll be back okay? You behave now!” She would always cock her head sideways like a cute little puppy. It was always endearing. I loved that dog – she grew up with me. Was always by my side and did everything I did.
Pajama day sounds groovy by the way!
8:01 am on August 10th, 2008 20
Stephen,
I completely relate to what you described in your post. Like you, and I suspect most of your blog readers, my work is important to me and I put a lot of time, effort and energy into it. Periodically, I hit that energy flat line and need to take a break and do something completely different like spend time with friends, see a movie or just go explore something different and stimulating. I do find that those periodic times to connect with other are little energy boosts for me. These moments of human connection throughout the day keep the joy in my life. Ned Hallowell, a friend of mine who is an author on connection and former Harvard Medical School instructor, recommends that we need “human moments” on average every four hours. That’s why i try to have lunch with my wife Katie or a friend most days and take periodic coffee breaks. Recently, my coauthor Carolyn Dewing-Hommes invited me on a walk so that we could catch up. That was a great break for me because it involved exercise and being with a friend who energizes me.
Thanks for mentioning my book in your post. I glad you’re enjoying it and i suspect you’ll especially like the 20 stories at the end of the book about remarkable human beings throughout history who used the power of connection to accomplish great things.
8:25 am on August 10th, 2008 21
@ Michael Lee Stallard:
What a nice delightful surprise to hear from you, especially after reading, but not yet finishing, your book! Thanks for stopping in.
Like you talk about in your book, the power of connectivity cannot be ignored. Connecting with someone is almost like taking a power supplement. There’s a certain amount of electricity that seems to go back and forth between two humans who have the potential of lifting one another up.
Have peace and quiet (solicitude) with your higher power is equally important. I guess having a balance between the two can be quite potent.
I am looking forward to the 20 stories at the end about remarkable human beings throughout history who used the power of connection to accomplish fabulous things!