Before you read this post, take a look at a humorous collection of real estate photos and tell me that all of us could be looking at the same photo yet draw different conclusions. (Photo credit: Prozac 74)
How we perceive ourselves and the world we live in is largely a function of our upbringing, the environment in which we previously and currently reside in, the kind of people we associate with and our core beliefs, to name a few.
A common theme running throughout my teachings here and elsewhere is the power of our perceptions. If not cared for, the prejudices of our mind has the potential of distorting and hindering what we really see.
Two years ago, I wrote a post about 6 Ways a Change of Perception Can Bless You with Peace and Inner Knowing. I’d like to revisit this topic again because I believe it really can change your life and take you places you’ve never dreamed of going.
How we handle tough situations depends on how we view the various elements in play. For instance, if you were treated shabbily by someone for any reason, what’s usually the first thought that occupies your mind’s real estate? Revenge? Anger? Or would you see that person as teaching you a lesson of sorts?
With all the bad news touted by the media, do you believe you’re doomed to a life of misery? Or do you believe you can rise above it?
What about 9/11? Was that a good or bad event?
I love tackling this subject because I’ve found that all it takes is a slight adjustment of our attitude to cause us to see the bigger picture. When that happens, not only do you find that you are truly in command of your thoughts but that there’s usually a lesson hidden in there somewhere.
Say someone bullied you as a youngster or even now – perhaps an arrogant boss. Maybe you suffered abuse at the hand of an authority figure. Do you believe those things happened for a higher purpose? Or do you believe you’re were/are a victim?
When 9/11 happened, I was horrified along with the rest of America. But when I looked at the event closely, I realized there was silver lining behind it. What happened brought everyone together – we were united as one nation. Even if we didn’t know anyone who was killed or injured, we were in some way touched by it. That led to a massive wave of compassion rarely before seen in society as a whole. (Photo: happyarm)
Unfortunately, this sense of unity was short-lived and because of that, the drama continues to play out in other ways until the lesson is finally learned.
Let me change tactics for a moment. How do you view a homeless person? With disgust? Contempt?
If I told you a homeless person was placed on your path to teach you a lesson in humility and gratitude, would you think I was crazy? Or would you think there might be something there? (Photo: Franco Folini)
Imagine if you viewed a homeless person in a different way. Perhaps with love and compassion. Have you ever considered the possibility that a homeless person could very well have a divine mission to show you just how fortunate you really are? Think about it.
The moment I realized being born deaf had a divine purpose behind it, my entire life shifted in a split second. No longer did I feel sorry for myself. All of a sudden, I had a mission worth pursuing. Ironically, I was given this gift of communication to demonstrate that it is indeed possible to achieve the impossible. I realize I’m just one person. What about other deaf people you encounter? What is your reaction when you meet a person who can’t hear? Do you shy away, thinking you have nothing in common with that person? Or does it make you realize just how lucky you are to have normal hearing?
Do you see what I’m getting at? I’m in no way advocating a life of “Pollyanna” where everything is just wonderful. It has to do with a way of thinking. I am inviting you to consider the possibility of raising your level of awareness and making the shift between a life of unconscious to conscious living.
Ken, a subscriber to this blog, left a couple of very good questions at the “Lies We Tell Ourselves” post; one of which was “When is it okay to lie?” The answer all depends on your perception.
According to the law of attraction, you attract in your life dominant thoughts. If you think the world is out to get you, that’s exactly what you will experience. Henry Ford once said, (paraphrasing here) “if you think so, you are right. If you don’t think so, you are also right.” In other words, if you believe the world is conspiring to bless you, you are right. If not, then you’re right on that count also!
I had a conversation with a friend recently who was complaining about the high cost of gas these days and how oil companies were ripping everyone off. (Photo credit: Mike Jones Photo)
This friend went ranted and raved about how all the rich people were always looking for ways to take your money. Isn’t it any wonder that not long afterwards, an experience came into her life where a certain insurance company significantly raised her auto insurance rates? What if this person steadfastly held a world view that, by and large, “rich people” are inherently good? Would her car rates have jumped? Maybe so. Maybe not. (update: She has since taken action and canceled her insurance policy and switched to another firm. Kudos to her for taking action).
Food for thought: What do you think? Name one situation in your life that could have gone south but didn’t because you had a different way of perceiving the situation.
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10:28 pm on June 16th, 2008 1
I became deaf just a short time before I transferred to a college that had several deaf and hard of hearing students on the same floor. I didn’t see it as a blessing at the time, because I was going through a “woe is me” period for several weeks and mourning the loss. But it did indeed, turn out to be a blessing, for I finally accepted myself as a deaf person and brought a new language into my life along with many, many new friends.
Karen Putz / DeafMoms last blog post..What I Learned From… My Dog
10:44 pm on June 16th, 2008 2
Karen:
That was QUICK! I just posted this a half hour ago! You’re lightening fast, I’ll tell you that much.
Usually when we’re in the throes of adversity, it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to see the blessing until later, which is what happened in your situation.
Thanks for your input.
5:13 am on June 17th, 2008 3
Stephen, as I read your quote, “The moment I realized being born deaf had a divine purpose behind it, my entire life shifted in a split second,” I thought about a question someone asked me years ago and I sometimes ask my clients:
What’s perfect about your problem?
I love the question, because if we press through our initial resistance to it and search out a meaningful answer, it can create the kind of momentous shift you describe.
Now to answer your question: 20 years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, my mother died, I was made executor of her estate (not my father or my older siblings), and my husband of just a couple of years had an affair and we started divorce proceedings. It was 20 years ago this month that all these things happened. I was so overwhelmed by grief and pain and anger that I put my job in jeopardy. I almost couldn’t function.
Then I woke up one morning, just as the sun was coming up, and a voice in my head said, “Let’s see what you’re made of, Tammy.” And I suddenly saw what I was experiencing as a challenge to navigate and surpass, instead of a life-as-I-knew-it dead end. Everything shifted. A few months later, I met my love, Rod, started studying for my doctorate, got promoted at work, and finished up administering my mom’s estate.
Tammy Lenskis last blog post..Conflict Zen news for June 2008
5:22 am on June 17th, 2008 4
Tammy:
I love how you put it: “What’s perfect about your problem?” Never heard of it put that way before! Brilliant and insightful.
Wow, what a challenging time that must have been, especially when everyone found out that you were the executor of the estate and not your dad or your older siblings. Did your Dad know about this before she died? I’m curious.
It’s funny you should bring your story up because I sometimes wonder, more out of curiosity than anything, who in my family would be named executor if anything should happen to my folks. I have an inkling it’d be my brother, who’s actually the youngest in the family (I’m the oldest). Hmmmm…to be honest with you, I wouldn’t be surprised for a number of reasons.
Thanks for sharing! Fodder for great discussion.
5:30 am on June 17th, 2008 5
Stephen, my father did know — my mother had told all of us. But I think he didn’t really believe it and it was the source of a lot of anger for him.
It’s funny, in later years I did a lot of probate mediation, helping families sort out messy estates or family conflict that came up as a result of wills and estates. I always felt I could understand how complicated these things can get — despite everyone’s good intentions — because of my own experience.
Tammy Lenskis last blog post..Conflict Zen news for June 2008
5:57 am on June 17th, 2008 6
Tammy:
Really? Your Dad already knew even before she passed on? Wow, that’s interesting. I guess he didn’t think much of it at the time but when it happened, his resentment grew. That’s a terrible place for anyone to be – the source of your father’s anger/resentment along with a divorce in the process and being selected over your older siblings.
What a pressure cooker!
Isn’t it amazing? YOUR experiences prepared you for a life of helping families sort out messy estates! I’ve said it countless times and I’ll say it again: we are life’s perpetual trainees – always being prepared for what’s to come in the future. That includes both pleasant and unpleasant experiences.
What do you think of them apples?
6:34 am on June 17th, 2008 7
Talk about synchronicity!! This was a great subject to bring up at this moment in time, Stephen. I have just been through an incredible storm in my family. And, in the end, I could see that it brought me a fantastic realization, that I am a very strong person and that I have grown to love myself dearly.
That, was a huge epiphany! So…I now am beginning to view this disaster as a stepping stone to something much bigger and better than I originally thought.
Yes…perception is the key!
Blessings!
6:57 am on June 17th, 2008 8
Love this article, Stephen! It’s one that I needed to read right now. Thanks!
Sheilas last blog post..Free Maui Hula Show
7:01 am on June 17th, 2008 9
Nancy:
Oh my lord, I absolutely love synchronicity, especially when I unknowingly contributed to someone’s life in a small but powerful way. Thanks for letting me know this came at just the right time for you.
Family brew ha-ha’s are never easy. Congratulations on realizing just how strong your spirit really is! I’m so glad you came out with the realization that the family storm became a stepping stone to something even bigger.
Please do keep all of us posted – don’t keep us in suspense, okay? Wink, wink.
7:02 am on June 17th, 2008 10
Sheila:
I’m happy to have made a contribution in a way that you found useful. Thanks for letting me know. Whatever it is that’s going on, hang in there.
Here’s another favorite saying of mine that has everything to do with perception: “This, too, shall pass.”
9:37 am on June 17th, 2008 11
Thanks for your wonderful blog. It’s one of the most useful and helpful of the many many I subscribe to. Thanks for doing what you do.
11:01 am on June 17th, 2008 12
Loved the real estate pictures! A reality check for anyone who has a house for sale these days.
I had a client tell me recently, “But my condo is DIFFERENT”
There were 87 condos in her price range withing three blocks. Some of them have been on the market for a year. They all had three bedrooms and three baths.
That’s why I do little with real estate these days. Will get back to it as one of my “multiple streams of income” when things get more stable. It is like trying to race a three legged horse.
It’s hard to correct our perceptions. We are so sure we are RIGHT!
Corinne Edwardss last blog post..NUNS AND THE BAD RAP – Godspeed Tim Russert
11:36 am on June 17th, 2008 13
Stephen, today I see my story of incest as a blessing. That wasn’t true for many years. Today I use that blessing as a way to share hope and blessings with others through my blog writings.
I am currently reading a great book by Debbie Ford called “The Secret of the Shadow” that is based on the premise that our story can be turned into a blessing and is what gives us our Divine Purpose for living. Michelle of Divine Purpose Unleashed told me about the book in one of her articles. I have read Debbie Ford’s first book years ago and found it very useful. This one is proving to be just as enlightening.
Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Quit Playing Small And Insignificant
2:00 pm on June 17th, 2008 14
Corinne:
Correcting our perceptions can take a while to get used to because our beliefs are so deeply ingrained. It’s not a matter of waking up one day and saying, “I believe in such and such – that’s it!” It takes constant behavioral modifications to make the adjustment over time. Little by little we can chip away our old thinking and replace with better ones.
I loved the real estate pictures too. :0
2:01 pm on June 17th, 2008 15
Patricia:
Well, I’ll tell you one thing. You’re very courageous to be talking about your incest. It’s a choice you have chosen to go public with and I see that it’s given you tremendous power for healing not only yourself but also those of others who have experience similiar situations.
It takes a lot of guts to stand in the light and say, “This is what happened to me. This is what I’m doing to heal myself.” Bravo!
6:10 pm on June 17th, 2008 16
Charles:
I’m glad you find this to be one of the more useful blogs. Next time you visit, why don’t you share with us what you’ve found most impactful?
1:28 am on June 18th, 2008 17
This is sooo true! My family is always commenting on my “incredible luck.” What they don’t get is that I create it by believing in the goodness of other people. I have been in situations where I’ve had to rely on the kindness of strangers (flat tire on the highway- before cell phones) and my favorite was a few years ago when I hit a parked car as I was pulling into the neighboring stall. Since the owner was not around, I left a note on the windshield with my contact information. My parents were furious that I “did the right thing.” (Really confusing contradiction there), The owner later called to thank me for being so honest and said that he wouldn’t pursue filing insurance or anything against me. I’ve also been chastised for helping someone charge a dead battery in a busy parking lot (trying to pay it forward), but again, it all turned out okay.
I’m not advocating asking a random stranger to hold your wallet for you, but I truly believe that if you hold the opinion that people are genuinely good, their behavior will reinforce this opinion more often than not.
5:08 am on June 18th, 2008 18
Lori:
You just keep doing what you’re doing – I love having people like you in this world!
You are of the right mindset and I hope your family never gets a chance to turn you the other way with their complaints about your desire to pay it forward.
Please don’t stop – we need more people like you! Even though your parents were angry that you did the right thing (go figure), they must have done something right with you.
10:27 am on June 22nd, 2008 19
Stephen,
I LOVE looking for the positive in all things, and LOVE that you said that about 9/11 because I have thought the same thing. Recent incident for me: I was on WGN in Chicago, live, and the photo they had supposedly queued up to show did not appear. Yikes! I just rolled with it. Now, I have a GREAT clip to show future media prospects that proves I can handle live television well. It all works out!
- Lorie
Lorie Marreros last blog post..Collecting for a Living
6:23 pm on June 22nd, 2008 20
Lorie:
Welcome to Adversity University! So glad you stopped by and enjoyed this post about perception. Congrats on having a great clip to show future media prospects even though WGN did not show the photo.
You see, everything happens for a reason. We may not know it at the time but sooner or later it becomes apparent.
When I was on Wall Street, I was interviewed on CNN and a week or two later a copy of the tape arrived. I did not know I would end up using it for part of my demo tape years later! Turned out to be a very useful piece.
I believe God/the universe (or however you like to label it) is always helping us prepare for the future. Great to hear about your situation! Congrats.
10:25 pm on January 24th, 2009 21
When it comes to something like gas, or many other items people regularly consume, they honestly have no clue what things actually cost. Prices will go up and down. The news will blame the economy. People will blame government, unstable markets or anything but themselves, their lifestyles, misunderstandings and values. People complain due to discomfort about change. What they are really saying is that they are frustrated about their own selective ignorance about reality. All of this tells people they are not meant to leave change to future generations. We are each invited to explore and renew basic human values. What does this mean? People have grown too detached, disconnected and indifferent to other people, to where their food comes from and how their choices directly effect people they know and do not know. Hope lies in each individual. We are on a path to reinstitute commitment to universal human values, interdependence and love on a global scale. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen. We are all contributing to this life-transforming vision that is already advancing invisible global change.
10:40 pm on January 24th, 2009 22
@ Liara Covert:
You’re right – we’ve become so immune to the things we take for granted that we are so detached. I admit that I don’t care where I get my gas and electricity from as long as I get it. As long as I can plug in my appliances, I’m happy.
I’ve also witnessed myself become detached from people at times. I have seen how people have become indifferent towards on another. I was pondering this yesterday when I was out for a long walk. There were others on the path and each person that walked by either looked at me or they didn’t. The ones who didn’t were in their own world and did not bother to say hi or make a connection. I admit it’s easier not to make the connection at times. You just want to keep walking and maintaining your own bubble.
While we have become indifferent, I also believe we are moving towards the light and there will come a time when all of us do care about one another and there’s a real sense of love and connection. It’s just a matter of time. Maybe by the Year 2012?
5:15 pm on February 15th, 2009 23
I wonder if you have ever read the book, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski? The perspectives offered invite readers to explore mysteries of the human heart, some of which are impossible to articulate. This experience itself expands perception.
11:26 am on February 17th, 2009 24
@ Liara Covert:
No, I’ve never heard of that book – I’ll check it out. Thanks for letting me know about it.