I met Chris Brogan at SOBCon08 in Chicago a couple months ago. He was one of the presenters who mainly talked about developing strong relationships with people. His presentation was entertaining, humorous and full of good tips. Sometime after it was over, I introduced myself and we ended up having a great conversation, feeling very much connected.
I remember thinking, “this guy is the real deal - I wonder how he writes?” Because of that connection, I immediately subscribed to his blog, chrisbrogan.com and discovered to my delight that the way he writes makes you want to read more. It has a certain kind of energy around it that feels good.
You know how certain people, when they walk into a room, all eyes are on that person, even though they may not know why? Well, the same can be said for authentic writers - that’s him. You’d have to see it to believe it - don’t take my word for it. When you have a moment, go on over there and take a sampling. You’ll be like “Hey, Mikey likes it!” (who could ever forget that famous that cereal commercial?).
Let’s welcome one of my favorite bloggers, Chris Brogan!
1. One of my favorite questions when I want to learn about someone is by asking them to give me their 5 second introduction when I pose the question: “What do you do for a living?”
Honestly, I tend to answer this with a joke. My favorite is, “Combat helicopter pilot.” If you want the real answer, “I am an analyst/content producer specializing in emerging technology.”
Stephen’s Response: Well, you certainly have a funny sense of humor - hey, could it be that you have a secret desire to be Rambo?
2. Tell me in 3 to 5 sentences something we can’t read in your bio or at the “About Page” at your blog “chrisbrogan.”
I was always curious and energetic, but wasn’t especially motivated and purpose-driven growing up. What changed me started by watching Les Brown, a motivational speaker, talking from his book, Live Your Dreams. From there, I got into Anthony Robbins, and from that, into Stephen R. Covey. That process changed my life.
Stephen’s Response: I have books from each of them. I remember in particular reading one of Anthony’s several years ago (Awaken the Giant). At the time, I was living in NYC, lying on my bed when I came upon a passage that sort of made me bolt upright. I hurriedly grabbed the highlighter and furiously wrote notes in the margins. The funny thing Chris, is that while I remember the incident, I have absolutely no recollection what it was that made me bolt upright! Is that sad or what?
3. How long have you been blogging at “chrisbrogan”?
I’ve blogged somewhere online since 1998, since it was called journaling. I’ve only owned the chrisbrogan.com domain since around 2003 or 2004.
Stephen’s Response: You’ve been around the blog, haven’t you? (Hey, I actually meant to say ‘block” but my fingers were on automatic tonight - way cool!)
4. Why did you pick your name for your blog?
I wanted to brand it personally. In later years, I realize that this is a mistake, because I’ve built a community who can only identify as participants in the conversation, instead of actual partners in the creation of what we do at my site. To that end, I hope to re-brand my universe by the end of this year or early next.
Stephen’s Response: While I understand what you’re saying, I still think it was a brilliant strategy. No one will doubt who’s behind your blog. Consider this - you are a speaker, right? What’s the one thing speakers need to get an invitation to speak? Name recognition! How does that happen? By putting your name everywhere. With your name as the domain, not very many people are going to find themselves saying, “What did you say his name was?”
But that’s only my opinion - you’re the expert!
5. What is the real reason you started “chrisbrogan”?
I wanted a place where I could share my learning and passion with others, and hopefully provide something helpful.
Stephen’s Response: Provide something helpful? You do more than that! Not only is your writing engaging, positive and inviting, but it’s also chock full of stuff. Stuff that “everyday” bloggers like myself can appreciate because it’s not ramshackled with geeky words. You don’t bombard your site with countless money-making ideas nor do you plaster the place with advertisements. You definitely provide something helpful - that’s why you’re my fav blogger these days.
6. One of the reasons why you’re being interviewed Chris is because number one, I met you in person at the SOBCon08 and found you to be very down to earth, personable and most importantly, the “real deal.” For some strange reason, I’m on a quest to find authentic people to interview maybe because I’m tired of seeing “wanna-bes” out there. You’re definitely not a wanna-be (LOL). The second is your personality and sense of caring, sense of authenticity that jumps out on the page (and in person). That, naturally makes me more curious about you. How did you become like this?
I have this crazy quirk: I really love humans. I should say that I love passionate humans. I love people who want to take on the world and make something happen. To that end, I’ve set out to deliver information and ideas that I think are helpful to the process. Right now, the form that takes is information about using these social software technologies, because I believe we have the best chance of our lives so far to develop our online voice and presence, and from that can stem possibilities.
Stephen’s Response: Like I mentioned at the beginning of this session, you definitely like people. There’s a sense of energy - quiet confidence and respect - that you radiate when you’re around others. It makes people want to gravitate to you - I believe that’s why our paths crossed at SOBCon08.
7. Like I said earlier, the reason “chrisbrogan” is so compelling is because there’s a real human being behind it. If I were to ask you to dig a little further, how would you define who you really are?
I’m really someone who wants to deliver value. I want my say at the table. I want to be influential. I want to derive value from the sharing of information. I want to define “currency” on more scales than money, including attention, influence, trust, and relationship (all of these are currency to me).
Stephen’s Response: I totally get your “wants.” I would venture to say most people also want the same thing. They want to be heard. They want to be valued for the things they believe in - to be accepted - to be respected. We all want that.
By the way, I find it very interesting that you define attention, trust and relationships as forms of “currency.” I like that. Thinking outside the box here……………
8. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Given?
I have a horrible memory, so these kinds of “recall” questions can be tricky. The best advice I’ve received probably comes from Covey’s 7 Habits book: work from your circle of influence, and try your best to ignore the circle of concern. The best advice I’ve ever given is to find your self-esteem and confidence.
Stephen’s Response: Ignore the circle of concern? What does that mean? Could you clarify that for us?
As for “finding your self-esteem and confidence,” I’d like to add that only we can give ourselves that. We might get praise, attention or accolades but they fade away after a while. I believe we raise our self esteem by not pandering to others. If we move ourselves forward (i.e. get off our duffs), take action and discover how just how much we’re capable of achieving, our self esteem has no where to go but up.
And then there’s always the “attitude of gratitude.” When you’re grateful, you inadvertently raise your self esteem because you’re feeling good about yourself.
9. What do you consider your proudest achievement in life?
There are so many. I completed a trail marathon in 2004 after losing 65 pounds, and having never run before in my entire life. I am proud to have a wife and two loving children. I’m proud of my career to date. That’s difficult, because I’m beaming with pride for all that I’ve done so far, and I am anxiously awaiting more opportunities to be proud.
Stephen’s Response: Wow, you lost 65 pounds? That must have been one heck of a run, especially if you had never done it before!
I always like to tell myself that all we have to do is trust that better opportunities are already on the way, ready to manifest at the right time (whatever that might be).
10. We all have a dark side, what’s yours?
Hmmm. I’m nervous to answer this. I have quite a dark side. I don’t really like slackers. I have a bit of a bias against people who are deliberately stupid (far different than someone who might be ignorant). And on a personal note, I get depressed, so that’s definitely dark stuff.
Stephen’s Response: We all have a dark side - it’s a matter of whether we’re willing to reveal that side of ourselves. Whether we like it or not, the dark side is something to be acknowledged. Have you ever heard of Debbie Ford? She wrote a best-selling book called “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.” I’ve not read it but I heard it is quite good.
11. What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life that, at the time had you mortified, but you now freely share with others? And what was the lesson you learned from the incident?
In 3rd Grade, I was attending CCD (Catholic afterschool stuff), and I really needed to use the bathroom. The teacher denied me several times, and eventually I got up and bolted, but by then, it was too late. I hid in the boy’s bathroom for hours, while my poor Dad tried to figure out where I’d gone. I tidied up as best as I could, eventually came out, and went home. What I learned was that I had the authority all along, and I should’ve just used the bathroom when I wanted. Believe it or not, I took that lesson very far in my life, and continue to assert my own authority.
Stephen’s Response: This is actually a NEW question designed to show how we all have those moments. I use my own “most embarrassing stories” when giving speeches because it makes me seem human to the audience. And as was evident by your great story, there’s usually a powerful lesson in there somewhere.
Turning to the audience: Well, that’s it folks. Wow, wasn’t that VERY INTERESTING or what? Doesn’t this first interview make you want to go knock on his door and invite him over for coffee or something? Heck, even invite his whole family over for a BBQ!
Chris - it was a hoot having you with us today - we are looking forward to the second half next week! Thanks for being with us.
Until then, enjoy! (Continue to Part II)
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11:50 pm on June 10th, 2008 1
I’m glad he mentioned his wife and kids in the achievements section. That is an achievement!
He seems like a regular guy with passion–I like that.
Ryans last blog post..blog potion #9
11:23 am on June 11th, 2008 2
Great interview as usual Stephen. I visited Chris’ blog and even left a comment on one of his articles that I found helpful to me. Have a glorious day.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Why Do We Get Stuck In The Blame?
1:07 pm on June 11th, 2008 3
I really like Chris’ sense of humor, genuiness, his passion for life and his passion for helping others find their passion. I agree with him about not liking people who are just stupid to be stupid. If you don’t know something that’s one thing. But if you just deliberately stupid that’s a whole different ball game.
I also liked how he turned a big embarrasement into something that really changed his life.
Thanks for this interview Stephen.
Jennifers last blog post..Will Someone Please Just Listen to Me!
2:51 pm on June 11th, 2008 4
Sounds like a real regular guy who definitely does not promote himself except with excellence.
Almost everyone talks about going through depression at some time in their life.
Is it an overused word?
One of my friends is living in a new city where she does not know a soul and in the past month she lost her beloved grandmother and a close friend.
She told me she was “depressed.”
What ever happened to the word “sad?”
Maybe sometimes, we are just sad. What do you think?
3:03 pm on June 11th, 2008 5
Corinne, I am not Stephen and I don’t think he will mind me putting in my two cents worth in answer to your question. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad or any of our other so-called emotions. Our sadness can go into depression but it doesn’t have to. I have spent the past few days crying over books and TV shows and I am ok with that. It is glorious to be able to feel all of my emotions after all of the years of stuffing them out of fear of being abused. It is glorious to cry, to feel sad. If we didn’t feel sad sometimes, how would we be able to recognise when we feel joy and happiness? It is just as glorious to feel that joy and happiness when they come into my world. Have a glorious day no matter how you choose to feel. I am.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Why Do We Get Stuck In The Blame?
6:14 pm on June 11th, 2008 6
great interview! I look forward to reading more on your site.
6:23 pm on June 11th, 2008 7
Awesome interview, great questions that brought out more about Chris than I already knew from reading his blog. Nice job, Stephen! Two of my favorite bloggers combining on one post - it’s like the social media planets have aligned.
Lara Kretlers last blog post..What’s so great about Twitter?
5:48 am on June 12th, 2008 8
Ryan:
I’m glad you liked Chris based on this interview. He is definitely a “regular” guy - the kind of person you could sit down and have a gabfest over a beer or something.
He’s quite the accomplished man but remains humble. That’s my continuous goal - not to be afraid to share my achievements with the world but to stay humble about it. He does that rather well.
5:53 am on June 12th, 2008 9
Patricia;
Nothing thrills me more than seeing readers from Adversity University taking time out of their busy schedules to visit the sites of those who are interviewed here. They certainly appreciate it too!
5:59 am on June 12th, 2008 10
Jennifer:
Well, like Chris said, the tendency that he has about viewing people who are “deliberately stupid” is a dark tendency on his part. What he’s trying to say is that deliberately stupid or not, he is making efforts to not judge others. That’s my goal too.
I try to be of the consciousness where I accept people for who they are and let them be what they choose to be. If they choose to be deliberately stupid, well, then that’s their choice. They’re not exactly paying my bills, right? Do they live with me? NO. Are they my best buddies? NO.
There was a guy I used to know. He had this incredibly weird hynia-like laugh that used to embarrass me b/c everyone would stare at us. One day I said, “Hey, that’s how he is - let it go.” From that moment forward, I didn’t care what others thought. Wow, what a liberating sense of freedom!
So if I’m around someone who is deliberately stupid, well, I have a choice about how to behave. I can choose to participate, walk away or stand there in silence.
Interesting discussion, isn’t it? Bottom line? Chris recognizes this side of him and that’s the first step - self awareness.
6:01 am on June 12th, 2008 11
Corinne:
Maybe people just don’t know how to characterize what they’re feeling. They might think “depressed” is a more accurate word to describe how they’re feeling when “sad” is a better fit.
Maybe they think “sad” is too wimpy of a word versus “depressed” which sounds heavier.
I don’t know. You bring up interesting food for thought.
How do we distinguish between sad and depressed? Good question!
6:04 am on June 12th, 2008 12
Patricia:
Of course I don’t mind if you put in your two cents worth (where ever did that phrase come from??? Your input is definitely worth more than 2 cents, LOL).
YES, thank you for feeling free to jump in and answer another commentator’s question. That’s what this community is for!
Thanks Patricia - you are certainly a role model for others to emulate here at Adversity University. This community is made for not only interaction between the blogger (that would be me) and the readers/visitors but also among themselves!
You go girl!
6:06 am on June 12th, 2008 13
Stales:
Welcome to Adversity University!!! I love new readers, visitors, especially those who take the time to let me know you enjoyed the material.
I look forward to future participation from you in this community.
6:08 am on June 12th, 2008 14
Lara:
And I liked how you put it: “two social media planets have aligned.” That’s way cool!
The intention of my interviews is to help others get to know the person being interviewed. I love asking the kind of questions I ask because, like you said, it brings out information that you might not otherwise know from reading their blogs, etc. It’s one way I am attempting to stand out and make a difference in the blogging world.
7:50 am on June 12th, 2008 15
Hi Stephen,
One of the things that struck a chord with me here is about depression. I think I can speak to that due to my own experience. I think a few ways to identify sadness vs. depression are this:
When one is depressed, there can be days, moments or incidents within the depression that feel differently than an ongoing heaviness which are characterized as feelings of sadness. So I can be sad and depressed at the same time and they are not the same. In fact, it is common.
When a truly sad thing happens, such as a death of someone close, there often is little or no distiguishing between the general overall feeling and the grief, as there is no strength for additional feeling. In depression there is a numbness as one has expended so much energy, there is little left. Or you can look at it more literally. Whatever energy there may be is pushed down, depressed. Accessing it being a most difficult task.
Depression affects how everything in one’s life happens or more accurately, doesn’t. Sadness may slow you down for a time as you expend the energy needed to feel a deep sadness. Depression very often puts the brakes on things which gives one that heavy, no hope kind of feeling.
Yes, I think some sadness can run very deep and lead to a depressed state.
But there is a distinct difference.
So I think Corinne has a good point about the common-ness of people using the word depression. I also think unless one has truly been depressed, a state which can often be equated with stopping or overall lack of desire, they do not have the contrast of sadness and grief with depression. Of course there are many levels of depression and many varieties, as is demonstrated in say, postpartum depression and how it manifests.
It is also wise to know the difference, because one can manifest as an illness and can have many serious consequences not only for oneself but others and the other is a natural part of living as Patricia stated.
8:26 am on June 12th, 2008 16
P.S. Stephen
I often think what some decribe as depression is a moodiness. A desire to withdraw as they deal with dark feelings, not wanting to subject another to a sudden bad mood or sullen-ness, whether it was effected by an inside or outside element. Again, I’m not saying this isn’t a form of depression but I think most people experience this type of thing at one time or another. And can get themselves out of it. It is a problem when one can’t. Only the indidvidual involved can make the initial ‘depression’ call. It would then be prudent to seek out an expert for confirmation and help if it is warranted.
Sorry if this went way off topic of Chris’ interview. Which was on par with your expertise in this area. The conversation in the comments drew my attention in a big way.
12:57 pm on June 12th, 2008 17
Stephen, you’re right about just accepting people for who they are. You don’t have to condone their actions or mindsets, but often times if we simply make the effort to accept them, then we can touch their lives in such a way maybe they will change. Maybe not, but we have still done our part. Guess that’s a dark side of me I need to work on.
Jennifers last blog post..Will Someone Please Just Listen to Me!
5:05 am on June 13th, 2008 18
Barbara:
What a very interesting dialogue you have going here! Your input was very well thought out and I’m glad to see that you felt comfortable enough to share your thoughts about depression because it struck a chord with you.
That’s what this community is for. We are open here and everyone is welcome with their differing viewpoints, thoughts, ideas, suggestions and beliefs. No one is judged here and that’s why I’m delighted something in my interview with Chris triggered this tremendous outpouring here.
Thank you Barbara - I’m grateful to have a great set of readers who feel compelled and interested enough to spend time writing down their thoughts. You truly helped me understand the difference between depression and sadness - something we’ve all felt at one time or another.
5:19 am on June 13th, 2008 19
Jennifer:
The one thing that really jumped out from your comment is that whether a person changes or not, we’ve done our part by accepting them for all their quirks, etc.
Years ago there was this guy I struck up a friendship with at a local coffee shop in NYC. I had been hanging out there after I quit Wall Street - going there to have coffee and journaling. He had this particular hynia-like laugh that often attracted unwanted attention.
At first I was embarrassed but then I realized, “hey, that’s how he is. Just get over it.” Soon I couldn’t careless what others thought about the funny laugh. I had already experienced what it was like not to be accepted because of my hearing impairment. It was a big wake-up call.
And guess what? It also gave me a feeling of inner power not to care what others thought of his distinctive laugh.