Have you ever noticed that when you try to get a cat to come to you, it won’t because it doesn’t respond to being pushed; however, when you sit back and relax, it comes around when it thinks it is acting on its own? (Photo: worleyx)
I’m not sure where I got this idea but once it found its way to my brain, it more or less grew into an idea for a post because I often write about letting go and letting God take care of the final outcome.
Update: My dear friend and fellow blogger, Corinne Edwards, is actually the one who inspired me to write this blog post because of an article she had written almost 2 weeks ago called Let the Cat Come to You. When I originally posted this article, I had completely forgotten where cat idea had came from but I knew it came from somewhere because I had written a reminder to write this post but did not write down where the idea came from. But now I remember! When I first read her story, it immediately reminded me of my own experience with a cat at a friend’s house and then that led me to make a spiritual correlation, all of which you’re about to read shortly. So thank you Corinne for the inspiration!
For years, I’ve subscribed to the law of attraction theory that if you try too hard by expending all your energy pursuing something, it doesn’t seem to want to manifest. But when you let go and trust the process, you find yourself being supplied with whatever you need to get what you want. Has that ever happened to you?
Because you are an energy magnet, you eventually bring to you what you’re primarily thinking about (visualizing, writing, speaking, acting, etc), but the moment you emit what I call “desperate” energy (trying too hard, manipulating, twisting), you are sending a strong signal that you don’t trust the universe to guide you along the way.
The universe is like that cat - it can sense whether you’re relaxed and confident that it will come around. On the other hand, it also knows when you are overzealous. One day I tested this idea when visiting an elderly lady who was a friend’s mother. She had an old bat of a cat that was reputed to be anti-social. Upon stepping inside the house, I was told it rarely mingled with strangers but I didn’t let that deter me. Once I plopped myself into an easy chair in the living room, I decided right then and there that while I wanted to scratch the cat’s head (a.k.a. “my dream”), I wasn’t going to push it. i would allow it to come to me naturally. I would do whatever was required of me (i.e. look the other way or at least ignore it). Within a half hour, the cat was happily rubbing against my leg!
The little old lady exclaimed, “My, my, she NEVER does that! She must really like you Stephen!”
I smiled.
The universe is like an intelligent cat - it knows what you want but until let go and trust that what you want will manifest at the right time, it will stay away. The cat (a.k.a. universe) sensed that I wasn’t going to chase after it and eventually came around on its own (God’s timing).
That’s why it’s important to stay focused on yours dream(s), take inspired action and then let go. How they will happen, how the Universe will bring it to you is not your job. When you are trying to determine how it will all work out, you are emitting a certain lack of faith, telling the universe you really don’t believe it’s coming to you.
An example of how I applied this “cat theory” was in relation to my dream of becoming the first deaf person to earn an instrument rating. The idea was first conceived around 1999, when I took my very first flight lesson. I had seen the book of regulations and saw that it implied, in black and white, that a hearing disability would prevent me from earning that rating in the future. Despite numerous detractors who tried their best to prove that I was living in la-la land, I kept the faith and stayed alert to opportunities that came my way.
Looking back, I can see with stunning clarity why it took me almost 7 years to finally achieve what everyone else said was impossible. Many things had to happen before I was ready to go to the next level. Not only did I have to finish my primary training, but I also took the next step and went for the commercial license. After I was done with that, I took it upon myself to do a lot of cross country flying (i.e. flew from Michigan to Kansas City for example), as well as several night flights, all of which significantly added more hours to my logbook. Meanwhile, I continued to plant seeds by telling everyone who would listen about the dream.
In late 2005, things began to unfold at a rapid clip. People, places and circumstances magically led me to a situation where I began training for the rating. Six months later, In February 2006, my detractors were conspicuously absent when an FAA designated examiner finally extended his hand and said, Congratulations Stephen!
Food for thought: Your undying belief that you will achieve the impossible is your greatest gift. If you want something badly enough, you will get there. Let go and let God.
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11:52 pm on June 9th, 2008 1
This was well said. Actually reminds me of a scene in Tommy Boy where he describes what he wants and how he totally messes it up by wanting it too much. I think the cat comparison is more fitting.
I have many dreams, and one is writing a book. I’ve started and stopped many times with many ideas. I’ve got a pretty good idea now, and I think I need to do like you say, and just let it flow if it’s going to flow.
Right now, I feel like I’m seeing a wave though, and I don’t want to miss it. However, between waves, it’s useless to struggle in shallow water–you just loose your energy, get nowhere, and have less to give when the next wave comes.
I would be interested to know more about your approach to writing the book you’re working on right now. Kind of like a “what worked what didn’t?” sort of thing. You’ve probably written about it before, so maybe I’ll go archive diving!
Ryans last blog post..who wants a feuilleton?
6:18 am on June 10th, 2008 2
Ryan:
Good for you that you want to write a book. There’s a saying that everyone has a book in them before they die. How they get it out is up to them.
I’ll be glad to write a post about how I started the book project. In fact, because I plan to create a separate blog/website for the book itself, I’ve been thinking of taking people on a journey by writing a series of short posts over there while we wait for the book to be published. Hmmmm…..thanks for the spark of inspiration!
Glad you liked the “cat theory.” It just came to me one day.
8:43 am on June 10th, 2008 3
This post could not have come at a more perfect time for me.
I interviewed for a job (a dream job, mind you) a little over a month ago and I have not heard anything yet, though I know they have not filled the position, nor made a firm decision on anything.
The opportunity had come to me without my doing ANYTHING in the first place and since then I’ve been trying to rush and push the whole thing.
I’ve been working so hard on visualization, coupled with a lot of prayer, and I already KNEW I was probably close to overdoing it, but my zeal and excitement has gotten me nearly into a begging mode.
I think we must have a fear that if we let it go, then the universe will believe we’ve lost interest in it. That’s a thought I’ve been attempting to reconcile for awhile now.
Thank you for this.
8:51 am on June 10th, 2008 4
Laura:
I am so glad to hear from you with a great example of how challenging it can be to let go of the outcome that you can’t control anyway. Interviewing for a dream job and then waiting for the results is one of the hardest things anyone can do, especially if you really, really want it.
It’s like this thing I’m experiencing with the publishing of my first book. It’s been a dream of mine to get it published with a major publishing house and now that one of them has indicated interest (they now have a copy of my book proposal), I have to continually remind myself to let go. I did the very best I could with the proposal, edited it a million times and ran it by an established author for feedback. Then I submitted it to them.
And now I have to wait. You’re right - most of us have this fear that if we let it go, it means we don’t care. Nothing could be further from the truth. Letting something go can actually help manifest it even faster!
Thanks for sharing - I intend for you to manifest that dream job easily and effortlessly. Be sure to come back and tell us what happened - good or bad and what you learned from it. We’d love to hear it!
10:58 am on June 10th, 2008 5
I’ve been struggling with the “Law of Attraction” for a while, trying to place it context of my my personal experiences, my faith, and my background in science. Most of the explanations I’ve read have been semi-mystical mumbo jumbo, involving pseudo-scientific references to quantum theory.
What I’ve come to terms with is that the subconscious mind is an amazing system. By focusing on the “what” of the dream instead of the “how”, it can come up with alternatives and present them in ways that the conscious mind does not censor (this is very much in line with Freud’s _Psychology_of_Dreams_ where he explains the symbolism of dreams as a way to pass through the limits of what is acceptable to the waking mind). In concert with the subconscious mind, the amigdyla is primed and the pre-conscious mind can respond to stimuli and patterns that weren’t perceived before (in the same way that when I start a fitness program walkers, runners and bicyclists suddenly appear every time I go driving).
Our problem, at least the one that the “Law of Attraction” seeks to resolve, is that we put blinders on and artificially limit the possibilities in front of us. All too often it is only when we are in dire times that we stop fettering ourselves with unnecessary limitations. How many stories have each of us heard about someone whose seeds of greatness only started to blossom in their time of greatest trial? It was then that they stopped trying to solve a problem and were open to solutions that had been in front of them the whole time.
In terms of my faith, as a Christian I believe that God is whispering to us all the time, but that we are so busy talking that we don’t listen to that still, small voice. He is frequently courteous enough to let us get in our own messes even though He had been kind enough to warn us time after time about the mess and given us suggestions about how to avoid it. He also presents us with opportunities on a continual basis that we ignore either because they’re disguised as work or because they don’t meet our preconceived notions.
In those senses, the “Law of Attraction” is simply opening myself up to the limitless promises and opportunities available to me through my connection to God–BUT… (and it’s an important but) my dreams need to be in line with His desires for me. In non-religious terms, my dreams shouldn’t be out of sync with my moral principles.
One of the important circumstances that must be present for the “Law of Attraction” to work is that I must be *doing* something about my dream. Simply sitting and waiting for my desires to be fulfilled without any effort won’t work. The beauty of this is that if it is something I truly desire, if it is line with my moral principles and beliefs, and if I persist at it, the whole of my mind will work in concert to identify opportunities for me to make consistent progress toward it and the some of those movements will be results that appear “as if by magic”. There is no magic, no mystical or sub-atomic force working invisibly on my behalf. There is simply human nature and the overall effect of a series of cumulative efforts, many of which escape my conscious mind, that result in something happening that I have difficulty explaining or reconciling.
Don’t believe it? Try the “Law of Attraction” and leave out one of the following to see how effective it is:
1) Engaging your subconscious mind, which is frequently pre-verbal and responds to sensory stimuli better than words.
2) Engaging or at least avoiding antagonizing your conscious mind by ensuring that your dream is simpatico with your moral and philosophical beliefs.
3) Actively working in some way to achieve your dream.
Of course, I could be wrong… :^)
1:13 pm on June 10th, 2008 6
Stephen:
Great analogy . . . this cat thing. Love it to pieces.
Just curious about something and wanted to ask a question: When do you know when wanting something too much is getting in the way?
I realize that we need to want something (and work towards it) in order to get it, but being too overzealous might start to work against us at some point.
So, sir, what is that pointd and how do you recognize it?
Michael Werners last blog post..How to Find Out What You’re Meant to Do
4:50 pm on June 10th, 2008 7
Well this was perfect timing. I’v actually have stepped up my gardening interest to pull myself away from any distractions and to stop over thinking things. It gets into my head and plays nasty tricks on me.
I’m learning the lesson of patience! This will probably the most patient I have been in years as I pray daily with the direction God wants me to take.
6:49 pm on June 10th, 2008 8
Thanks for the link love, Stephen.
I think you did more with the idea than I did - I just write a rather whimsical article about my son’s cat.
Congratulations on taking an idea and running with it in a very meaningful way.
There are only so many topics under the sun. It is a pleasure to see one of my “family bloogers” take a simple idea of mine and improve on it. It inspires me to do better.
7:58 pm on June 10th, 2008 9
Stephen, “desperate” is needy. Needy is lacking. Focus on lack and you get more of it. I am still learning this.
I love what you did with the inspiration from Corinne’s article. You both inspire me to be better than I am.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Why Do We Get Stuck In The Blame?
9:04 pm on June 10th, 2008 10
How about when you flew to Akron, NY, for lunch with me, Stephen? That was a definite step in manifesting your dream!
The cat analogy really worked for me! Good blog job.
10:48 pm on June 10th, 2008 11
Okay, I can’t figure it out: how DID you get an instrument rating? I have a private, I did about 20 hours of instrument training, and I just can’t see how you did it without, well, listening to ATC instructions. Stephen, you are a MASTER for how you overcame what seems like an insurmountable obstacle. My hats off to you.
If it’s on your site, tell me where the details are. I just gotta know!
Tom Stine | Living from Consciousnesss last blog post..Miracles and the Law of Attraction
7:06 am on June 11th, 2008 12
Stephen, what a wonderful post. I’ve always loved cats precisely for this reason - they choose whom to bestoy affection upon, as opposed to dogs who will love on anyone. Well, really I like both approaches - but I love your analogy about how this applies to our lives and the universe and the law of attraction. I also really like the way you talk about God and the Universe almost interchangeably, to allow for people from all different walks of faith to be able to relate to your writing. Thank you for being so insightful!
Lara Kretlers last blog post..What’s so great about Twitter?
5:18 am on June 12th, 2008 13
Gilbert:
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the law of attraction and how you’ve had some difficult reconciling your thoughts with this way of thinking. I like to hear different viewpoints and this is definitely the place to air them.
It’s true that sometimes we find out our greatest strengths in times of adversity like the mom who somehow finds the power to lift a small car to save her child who was pinned underneath (perhaps after an accident or something).
Amen to the unlimited chatter in our brains that shut out God’s whispers. He’s always trying to get our attention and give us signals, messages that will guide us along the way. That’s why I always take time out and listen in silence (I’m always in the world of silence since I’ve been deaf since birth BUT, I can still have moments of solitude and go within to “hear” God’s messages).
Thanks so much for sharing - you truly added great value to this discussion.
5:24 am on June 12th, 2008 14
Michael:
Glad you liked this piece. You asked how I know when wanting something too much is getting in the way.
Good question. It’s a hard question too. But I have this sense of intuition when my body is telling me that “this isn’t working out.”
I realize some dreams take years to manifest (like my flying or book dreams) so I can’t necessarily say if things aren’t happening soon enough, it’s time to give up.
Michael - you really asked a GREAT question. All I can say is I go with my gut feelings and if it doesn’t feel right to continue on this path and/or I see divine signs, I will not pursue it any further. When I’m not sure whether I’m overdoing something, I’ll pray about it and be extra alert to signs from the universe. They’re all around us, constantly communicating with us but we’re too busy to pay attention.
That’s really all I can say about the subject. Intuition, prayer and increased awareness.
5:28 am on June 12th, 2008 15
Lisa:
Gardening is a fabulous way to get reconnected with your inner spirit and calm the mind. Probably because it connects you with Mother Earth.
Patience is a pretty good quality to have and it’s taken me years to cultivate it. Occasionally I find myself becoming impatient but I’ve learned to counter that with a sense of awareness that I’m allowing myself to be impatient and immediately counter it with better thoughts. I’ll be stuck in traffic, in a hurry to get somewhere when suddenly I’ll say to myself, “Why are you stressing yourself out over this traffic jam? You can’t do anything about it so relax!” Then I’ll take some deep breaths and think positive thoughts - it changes my mood instantly!
5:32 am on June 12th, 2008 16
Corinne:
I’m so glad this article inspired you to do better. When I read yours, my mind exploded with p;ossibilities. That’s the challenge of being creative.
We get ideas from others out there and the key is to take what you see (since there’s nothing “original” out there anyway - except for very few) and twist things around in your own words, with your own ideas and take it in a different direction. We get our inspiration from others all the time - the planet is constantly feeding each other ideas and yours happened to be the inspiration behind this one!
I was astounded at the way it all happened. It was like God had some kind of feeder the day I read your article.
I have a friend (speaker) who routinely looks at quotes by others and then he twists them around and makes them his own. People have different ways of saying the same thing.
Glad you loved the article! It felt good to write it.
5:37 am on June 12th, 2008 17
Patricia:
You got it right when you say “desperate” is needy, which means lacking. The more we focus on that or anything else, the more we bring it into existence.
The mind is like a magnet. What we focus on, we experience more of - good or bad.
5:42 am on June 12th, 2008 18
Nancy:
Yes, of course, when I flew out to Akron, New York (there’s Akron in Ohio, you knew that right?), it was definitely part of the grand unfolding of things to come, absolutely.
For the benefit of readers and visitors, I rented a small plane and flew myself from Michigan (where I was living at the time) to Akron, NY (outside Buffalo) to give a talk to an aviation group. That’s when Nancy and I had lunch and got to know one another. She was not part of the aviation group but knew someone from there. I “met” Nancy through heartwarmers.com, a place where people submit heartwarming stories.
So, yes, Nancy, that special flight I made was indeed one of many divine events unfolding that you were a part of!
5:45 am on June 12th, 2008 19
Tom;
Your question about how I got the instrument rating brought a smile to my face. Thanks for asking.
Very simply (though the process of making it happen was not so simple), I got the FAA to give me a special waiver allowing me to fly as pilot in command through instrument conditions with a qualified co-pilot, whose job is to handle the radios for me, writing in aviation shorthand on a dry-erase board what controllers are saying. I retain the pilot in command designation b/c I am still making decisions based on what my copilot shares w/ me via dry erase board. Challenging!
Controllers talk very fast and the copilot must be quick, efficient and accurate. So I choose my flying partners VERY CAREFULLY.
But if the weather is good, did you know that deaf pilots can fly solo? They generally stay out of airports and airspaces that require radio use. Did you know that?
5:52 am on June 12th, 2008 20
Lara:
One of the things I try to be aware of is when I am writing, I put myself in the shoes of the reader so that it is as “inclusive” as possible. That’s why I like to use God and the universe interchangeably. I believe there the same thing since God is in everything anyway. But some people have had such a horrible time with the word “GOD” because of their strict religious upbringings.
For instance, I’m a “recovering Catholic.” Yes, I admit it. I was brought up to believe that God was a vengeful, judgmental being who was something to be feared if I did this or did that. I didn’t know that many of these rules were man-made until years later. Up until that time, the word GOD had a bitter aftertaste. Now I know different. But some people are still grappling with the idea that GOD loves everyone unconditionally and does not judge us the way man does.
So I use both terms interchangeably for that reason. Thanks for writing and I’m glad you liked this article!
7:44 am on June 12th, 2008 21
Dear Stephen,
What a great article! Being Buddhist we belive in the law of the universe. If we make good causes we will get good effects, make bad causes we will get bad effects. I have found that having faith is what is the most important, to know we will win and acheive our dreams and goals and to never give up! I look forward to reading your articles, they give me more hope and encouragement! Thanks!
Peace, Patti
12:07 pm on June 12th, 2008 22
Thanks Stephen,
I believe what you are are explaining is what I am learning to do. The kids screaming, things going crazy. I’ve also tried to take some quiet time in the morning (is that possible with school kids home)to plan my day, ask for patience in whatever comes my way and keep focused. It will happen! Another analogy is sowing seeds, I found that just doing the steps can prepare the crop for harvesting later.
Thanks for an insightful topic!
8:16 pm on June 12th, 2008 23
Thanks for the explanation. Very cool. I was imagining that you had used some prototype voiceless communication that shows up on a MFD in the cockpit. I know, in 20 years maybe. I love how you resolved it. I always had a hard time understanding ATC, so I would have been a lousy co-pilot.
Yeah, in VFR, no reason a deaf pilot can’t fly outside of Class A, B, C or D airspace. Lots of cool airports out there.
I haven’t flown in 7 years. I used to love it.
Tom Stine | Living from Consciousnesss last blog post..Miracles and the Law of Attraction
4:59 am on June 13th, 2008 24
Patti:
Nothing thrills me more than knowing that my writing has had a positive influence on you and a source of inspiration. That’s great!
I love how this community is comprised of all kinds of people with different faith backgrounds.
It’s great to have you as a participant here!
5:12 am on June 13th, 2008 25
Lisa:
I find that “sowing seeds for later harvesting” to be quite a good analogy because in essence, that’s what we’re doing. Everything that happens to us, happens for a reason - usually to prepare us for the future.
For instance, the syndicated newspaper article that I told everyone about recently is being seen as seeds being sown for later harvesting.
All the preparations, studying, practicing is equivalent to seeds being planted.
I love it! Thanks!
5:21 am on June 13th, 2008 26
Tom:
I’m VERY GLAD you asked - especially in a public forum like the comment section of this blog b/c I can only imagine others were probably curious about it too.
I love it when I meet people for the first time and I tell them I’m a pilot. The first question I almost always get is, “But, how can you hear on the radio.” I love it. I usually get a raised eyebrow or two.
Glad I clarified things for you. Don’t hesitate to ask more if you have them. This place is a wide open community!!
10:06 am on June 14th, 2008 27
Dear Stephen,
thank you for the inspiring and well-presented column! It came to me, with the God’s will, at this very moment when I have to let go and let God. Thank you so much for your job: you are great. I am a new subscriber and I am looking forward to exploring your blog.
With my best wishes and many many thanks for your talented inspirational writing!!!!!!!
PS here you can have a look at my last week’s Human Condition column called That Sparkling Gift Wrapper (http://www.georgiatoday.ge/article_details.php?id=5193)
7:57 pm on June 14th, 2008 28
Victoria:
I felt really good about this article - I had a huge inspiration the day I wrote it and the words just flowed. Ideas flew furiously and connections were made. I’m very grateful for that. It isn’t every day that happens.
I’m so glad you’re a new subscriber - WELCOME. I also enjoy messages when they remind me of something I need to hear at a particular moment. They feel so inspirational and like others have done for me, I’m glad to turn around and do the same for you!