I just finished reading “Step Into the Spotlight!: A Guide to Getting Noticed” by a woman named Tsufit (how do you pronounce that!?). This wonderful book came as part of a bag of goodies for those of us who were at SOBCon08 last month. (Photo credit: Nina)
It starts off by saying:
It’s not crass to want to attract enough clients to earn a living or to have a life you want. It’s not shallow to make a name for yourself so that the people who need your help can find you. Once you’ve stepped into the spotlight, you can go out and help others do the same.
Wow! That was a light-bulb moment for me. Think about it for a second…..
How else would others know about what you’re doing if you don’t tell them? Afraid to be seen as egotistical? Well, I’ve got news for you. If you don’t toot your own horn, who else will (save for the public relations agent you just hired for thousands when you could have done it for a fraction of the cost on your own)?
Come on, admit it. You’re embarrassed to toot your own horn because of what others might think of you, aren’t you? I once wrote an article here entitled, What Others Think of You is None of Your Business! But there is a way of letting others know what you’re doing without seeming to be crass about it.
Before I share with you how I’ve been doing that, let me outline a brief excerpt of an email I recently got from a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in years. He and I were very good friends while I was living in New York City. So when Anita Bruzzese wrote Turn Adversity Into Dreams, I sent an email alert to him and several others by way of keeping them informed about some of the exciting things happening in my life.
Imagine my surprise when he wrote back basically telling me “When I got your email, I thought to myself, ‘Oh no, not another self promotional email. It’s all about him.’”
That stopped me cold. It got me thinking. After a day or so, I wrote back and thanked him for letting me in on how he was perceiving me. Just so that you know, I had sent him several emails over the years, mostly informing him of what I was up to but never got a response back. The only reason I finally got a reply out of him was because I essentially asked him, “Hey, how come I never hear from you? None of my emails have bounced back so I know you’re getting them. What’s up?”
That did it. What I just revealed to you a minute ago was his reply. Wow. Out of several hundred emails I sent, his was the only reply of its kind that I got back. Hmmm…….
So is the potential there to turn some people off? Yes, certainly. He was. But does that mean I (or you) should stop? NO!
Could that mean others might have felt the same way? Was he the only one who had enough guts to tell me like it is? Or was there something else lurking beneath this man’s way of thinking?
My take on it is that those who genuinely care about your success will support you while others could care less. Have you ever been told something similiar to what this man said to me? If so, you’re not alone.
I’m actually grateful he send that reply because maybe, just maybe, I crossed the invisible line with him (and others). The question is how far do you go in telling others about what you’ve been up to without being perceived as egotistical?
Even though I considered him a good friend, apparently his perception was that I no longer cared about what he was up to even if I asked him how he was doing. To be honest with you, I don’t recall whether or not I asked about his life. I may have. I might not have. He also let it be known that he thought I was a very ambitious man.
Well, by golly, he got that one right! How else would I have been able to stick it through the turbulent years on Wall Street? Or become the first deaf person to earn an instrument rating? It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying!
Same thing goes for my speaking/coaching business. How would potential clients know about me if I don’t share with them what’s going on? I realize that this man was not a potential client so he didn’t fall into that category; but I told him that if people didn’t care for my success, there wasn’t much I could do about it. I left it at that.
I almost let it slip that I operate under the belief that if you aren’t happy for the success of others, it means on a subconscious level that you don’t believe in the same for yourself. Or maybe you’re green with envy or jealousy. But I decided to let that one slide.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met over the years who have said to me something along the lines of “Oh, that black guy is driving a BMW, he must be a drug dealer.” Or how about this one, “His dream is to make a million dollars, he’s probably going about it the illegal way.”
A disclaimer here: My “friend” did not say any of those things. I wanted to merely point out how some of us equate success with an air of deceit or pomposity. While there are highly successful people who do operate in evil ways, I don’t believe everyone with big dreams are like that. Do you?
After that exchange, I followed up with, “Well, darn it, why didn’t you tell me you perceived me in that light? Aren’t friends supposed to say what’s on their mind?” I also made it clear that, of course, I cared about him and because of that, we’re back in communication because he got the answer he was looking for (validation).
Bottom line? Despite the fact that not everyone is going to perceive your successes in the way you want them to, it makes the following points even more important to remember:
You Must Establish a Relationship
Whether it’s with a friend or potential client. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying “If you help just enough other people get what they want, you’ll get what you want.” And what does it take for that to happen?
A relationship!
People don’t care about what you have done until you’ve made it clear that you care about them. It’s that simple.
All it takes is “What can I do for you?” Or “How is everything going in your life?” When they report that they are successful, be happy for them! Which brings me to the next point….
You Must Be Genuinely Happy for Others
There is this universal spiritual principle that says that when you are happy for others, it means you believe you can also experience the same kind of success for yourself. Don’t ask me how that works, it just does. It’s an energy thing. If my “friend” had told me he was moving to a bigger office uptown (which is actually true), I would have been so excited for him. I’ve always made it a practice of mine to be happy for others but how do I know if they don’t tell me?
Once You Establish Some Kind of Bond Then…..
You can certainly keep them apprised of what’s happening with your career. These are people who eventually become your fans and once that happens, they’ll want to tell others about you. This is why you should never end a correspondence with, “Please share this with others.” If they are genuinely inspired, they will, by default, want to tell others. How do people get inspired? Well…
Have a Great Story to Tell
Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone. That means you too. What’s your story? Why not package your story in a way that others find inspiring and/or appealing? What were some of your life’s experiences and how did you deal with them? Everyone has had some adversity in their lives. That’s the common thread among all of us. There’s always someone who can benefit from your experiences. Why not share it with them?
Write articles. Write stories. Give interviews. Answer people’s questions about your experiences. Like it or not, it’s all part of branding yourself.
Granted, it takes a long time to brand yourself but if done right, people will want to do business with you; especially if you are perceived to have won against the odds. For example, if they see that you are being featured in the newspapers or on TV, it raises their perception that you are a winner - a fighter. Everyone wants to associate themselves with a winner. Don’t you?
Even if they’re not in the market for doing business with you, they’ll at least tell others about you. Why? Because you just inspired them with your story. You have a story to tell. Go and tell!
I can just see you thinking, “But who cares about my story?” That’s the problem. Your story does matter! You are a star, created by God to help others succeed. Your story is just as important as everyone else’s. You are unique, just like everyone else (pun intended).
When I first got my pilot’s license, I boldly acted as my own PR manager and contacted a few of the local papers and TV stations. Why do you think a bunch of articles were written about my aviation achievements when I first became a pilot?
Eventually your story will get around and people will start coming to YOU for an interview. That’s what happened when I met Anita Bruzzese in Chicago last month (SOBCon08). She approached me - not the other way around. But it took a long time for that to happen.
The same can happen to you if you work it.
Above All, Be Authentic
There’s nothing more crass than being around someone who is pompous and thinks he’s big stuff because he’s “famous.” I truly believe that if you are authentic and humble, you will, by law of attraction, bring into your life others who will want to promote you. But you’ve got to work on yourself first.
I ask myself questions like “Do I keep my ego in check?” “Is it all about me?” I admit I fall in between the cracks from time to time; but when I ask myself those questions, I put plant my feet right back on the ground.
Note: I will write another post in the coming days on the subject of authenticity because I feel it’s so important so stay tuned!
Food for thought: What are your thoughts about stepping into the spotlight and telling others what you have to offer or what you’ve accomplished? Are you embarrassed to toot your own horn because you were once told that it was “crass” or “egotistical?”
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7:42 pm on June 4th, 2008 1
Hi Stephen,
This is a nice read and you have a very enjoyable storytelling style. There is indeed a good middle ground in promoting yourself without being crass at all. Keep in mind that as long as you have real value to offer to others, it’s not only in your own interest to promote yourself. It also affects and helps other people as well.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
7:58 pm on June 4th, 2008 2
Well, I’m currently of the opinion that it is a little egotistical to vigorously self-promote. I know those aren’t your words–they’re mine–but they work better for me.
In most things, I think we should be rewarded for our merits, not our marketing capabilities and natural personality traits (charisma,etc.). This obviously doesn’t apply in most business worlds that I’ve visited lately, but on a personal level, I like to see this merit-based-reward system from my friends.
Having said that, I think you walk a pretty good line. Your comments on this blog and the one you left on mine are generally humble. Like you say, if you help enough people get what they want, then you’ll eventually get what you want, and your comments reflect that. What goes up must come down. You do a good job of that.
Ryans last blog post..sweet fetching mother of feed readers
4:48 am on June 5th, 2008 3
Stephen,
Thank you for your kind words about my book! Glad you enjoyed it. Enjoyed your post.
Tsufit
P.S. Ryan. I agree with you that we should be rewarded for our merits. The issue, in business, is how people will find out about your merits. If a tree falls in a forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Tsufits last blog post..Brothels, Bordellos and Billboards
5:20 am on June 5th, 2008 4
Tsufit:
You’re quite welcome! And tell me, please, how do you pronounce your name? It’s a tongue twister for me!
Anyhow, I loved your book - it’s got yellow highlights all over the place plus several notes here and there. I hope my write-up fuels some sales for you because I only write about books that I really enjoy.
5:28 am on June 5th, 2008 5
Ryan:
I like what you said about being rewarded on the basis of merit, at least among friends. In the world of business, it’s possible word of mouth could spread like wildfire without any means of advertising. Every business person would love to have viral word of mouth, including yours truly. The interesting question is - how does that happen?
No one really knows how something becomes viral - it just happens and then spreads rapidly. Sometimes a video provides the tipping point. Sometimes a well written article does the tipping. Sometimes it’s a combination of simply informing others of what’s happening and if it catches the public’s fantasy, then it is spread from person to person.
Thanks for the compliment about me walking a good line. I appreciate it - I’m glad you perceive me in that light. Being humble has never hurt anyone.
5:36 am on June 5th, 2008 6
Chris:
I’m grateful you enjoy my storytelling style. That has evolved over the years. Not a day goes by that I’m not on the keyboard so I’m always “writing.” It all started when I quit Wall Street and began journaling. Have you ever heard of “The Artist’s Way?” It’s by Julia Cameron. Excellent stuff - I credit her for starting my writing journey.
You bring up a good point about how important it is to help yourself get the word out to those who might benefit from what you have to offer, especially if it’s of good value.
Like I said to Ryan above, while all of us in business for ourselves would LOVE to have something we said, wrote or videotaped go viral, we can’t really depend on that happening. Even if you’re very good at what you do, nothing will happen if you don’t help yourself get the word out. Plus you never know when something will catch the public’s fantasy of the moment and go viral.
Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed that viral items are usually hilarious, punchy, unusual or otherwise outrageous. Consider the guy who videotaped himself dancing and got millions of views on YouTube or the laughing baby or the guy who cried “Stop hurting Brittany!” Some of these were planned while others were unintentional yet all of them went viral.
Interesting, isn’t it? But they all share something in common - all of them took action and put themselves out there. If they hadn’t done that, the world would not have known about them. They didn’t wait for someone to come and knock on their doors. They went out first and THEN the world found out and went nuts.
6:15 am on June 5th, 2008 7
Stephen, I think there’s a difference between promotion done with integrity and authenticity and ego-based promotion. The former is almost quite factual (i.e. just stating what is), such as “I am the first deaf instrument-rated pilot”. The latter, however, includes an element of superiority, e.g. “Aren’t I wonderful, I’m the first deaf instrument-rated pilot. You would never be able to achieve what I did.” Sometimes the extra egotistical gunk isn’t stated out loud, but is very apparent in the person’s tone, which becomes boastful and patronising.
You definitely fall into the former, authentic category. There is nothing boastful about what you say - your achievements are wonderful, but you speak about them humbly. It is also clear that you believe in others as well, and celebrate others’ successes just as much as you do your own.
Sometimes people who are quite ego-based will be unable to tell the difference between the two types of categories. Their ego is so dominant and fragile that any positive experience of others is seen as a threat. It is with these people that we need to practice compassion while maintaining our authenticity (not losing ourselves in the process).
Mags | Woo-Woo Wisdoms last blog post..Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth
7:15 am on June 5th, 2008 8
Kudos to that friend for being authentic about his feelings and speaking up, for it opened the door for a more authentic relationship between you two and some frank dialogue.
I’m always thankful for the friends that open up their feelings with me, for it’s the only way we grow and connect.
Karen Putz / DeafMoms last blog post..DeafMom Has Moved!
7:33 am on June 5th, 2008 9
Karen:
Sometimes we have people who come into our lives and give us a “gentle” reminder and I’m grateful for it.
But you also have to ask yourself, “Where is this person coming from?”
How do you know this person isn’t appearing to be a “well-meaning friend” and telling you something that appears to be beneficial to you when in reality it has nothing to do with you but something to do with himself/herself?
For example, I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying that when you advance toward your dreams, you will encounter more comments and criticisms that come from “well-meaning friends” who are, in secret, hoarding their emotional thoughts of jealousy, envy or whatnot?
Disclaimer: I’m definitely not saying this friend was coming from that point, but what if? It makes for interesting dialog, doesn’t it?
How do you know? How can you tell?
I love this conversation! Do tell me your thoughts!
8:31 am on June 5th, 2008 10
Dear Stephen,
Thank you so much for your great adversity website and newletters! The article You are a Star really hit home with me. Appreciation for others is so important when sharing things in my life. You my friend are a star!
Peace and love, Patti
8:40 am on June 5th, 2008 11
Hello there Patti:
Welcome to Adversity University’s community! I’m SO EXCITED to have you with us. Thank you for your kind compliments and it’s great to know you’ve been enjoying my articles here at the university.
I am so very much looking forward to your future comments because you have a lot of wisdom. I’ve been privileged to have known you personally while living in Michigan and it’s a great honor to have you as part of our burgeoning community!
9:56 am on June 5th, 2008 12
Stephen,
Great article. I believe that deep down within us all is the desire to shine whether we admit it or not or whether we do something about it or promote ourselves or not.
Some of us step out of the boat and go for our dreams and others can’t seem to summons the courage to do it no matter how much they want to or how talented they are. Years go by and life is the same, all the while that spark within is seeking expression. Inwardly they settle and they find a way to live with that until they get a reminder or are shaken which may be in the form of someone else sharing what they have accomplished.
This may not be true about your friend, but your emails could be causing him to look at his own life and his own accomplishments or lack thereof or his own dreams which may have been deferred. They could have touched a soft spot within him and his response was coming moreso from a wound within versus a tap on the hand to you for “self promoting.” You are growing and he may be stagnating. Just a thought.
On the other hand, your email could have come at a time when he’d experienced the worse day at the office, lost a client, had a spat with his spouse. It may have had nothing at all to do with you; he may just have been venting to someone, anyone.
I also abide by the “What you think is none of my business rule.” When we live life by a code of good values and honor that code and our intentions and motives are in the right place, comments like that can easily bounce off of our personal armour. Don’t give them a chance to “dig in”. It’s one person’s opinion.
I do take this kind of “feedback” and reflect. I ask myself if there is any truth to the feed back or criticism. If there is I make the adjustment (and I’ve had to at times) and if not, it’s full speed ahead.
Everyone will not be happy for your success. If people operate from a scarcity mindset, they feel that there’s a limited amount of success to be had, as if your sucess in some way will rob them of their shot. We live in an abundant world and there is more than enough success for all who are willing to take the steps of faith towards it and pay the price.
When these kinds of remarks come, just know this may not be a person who wants to be in your circle or your community. You may have to love him from a distance.
When self promoting is based on desire for the betterment of mankind and you are sharing your successes to let people know that you may have some answers they seek or that you have overcome obstacles and so can they, I say “Shine On!”
Remember the delete button and use it as often as you need to on certain emails. You will lose some people from your circle, but gain more.
And I also believe there are people who are on the success track and it is an inward journey and they don’t care about the spotlight at all. They are proving something to themselves or so entrenched in the work that the work becomes the reward and propels them to the contacts and people they need for the next step.
All good either way.
Sharmaine
11:47 am on June 5th, 2008 13
Stephen, it is good that you looked beyond the initial email comments of your friend and asked questions. Now you have a better relationship with that friend. It may have also caused him to look at his part of the conversation or not. A friend told me, “What other people think about you is none of your business.” a few years ago. That is some of the best advice that I have ever received.
I received your email telling us about your newspaper article and I didn’t think there was anything egotistical about the email. Remember that we all see things through our own filters of experience. Jealousy can be a really big filter.
Another friend told me if you are going to share your dreams with others to pick carefully who you share with. A lot of people will be quick to tell you why you can’t do something rather than supporting you in your dream.
Stephen, you are the best example that I know of for accomplishing your dreams and overcoming obstacles. Keep on sharing.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Using Your Pain To Live Your Divine Purpose
12:13 pm on June 5th, 2008 14
Great article Stephen! I’m super proud for your leap forward here. You ARE a star, for you embody all the qualities that you write about.
Keep smiling and keep changing the world. Your stories inspire me to do GREAT things, and I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate your friendship and your ability to authentically tell your stories of adversity to me and to the world. You have a gift…keep sharing it!
Phil Gerbyshaks last blog post..Purpose and Success
2:17 pm on June 5th, 2008 15
Sounds like your “friend” was having a rude New York moment.
I would seriously doubt that you sent anything that was bragging. It is just not your style.
I love when old friends show up with news about what they are up to. Most people do.
I even love those corny Christmas letters.
So put that email in your delete file and take him off your address list. He does not wish you any good.
Fortunatly, there are many who do! Just look at all the comments defending you!
Darlin’ - stay as sweet as you are.
Corinne Edwardss last blog post..BREAKUP! - and the “in between person”
8:00 pm on June 5th, 2008 16
PS
An admission here. I am a former New Yorker.
Pleading guilty as charged but tempered by living in the midwest for over 20 years.
But I still know how to be rude if necessary.
5:54 am on June 6th, 2008 17
Mags:
You stated it quite succinctly about the difference between promoting with integrity/authenticity and one that is ego-based.
Those who are ego based see the success of others as a threat - you’re right - we need to practice compassion when we’re around those people.
Thanks for sharing - it was very valuable input.
5:57 am on June 6th, 2008 18
Sharmaine:
Excellent, excellent input into this discussion! You pointed out many interesting things, including the possibility that this friend may be stagnating in some area to cause him to respond through some kind of filter he set up within himself. You’re right - not everyone will be happy for other people’s success.
You’re an amazing woman with amazing spiritual wisdom. I’m so thankful to have gotten to know you over the last few years since starting this blog.
What you offered today makes for a very spirited and interesting discussion, doesn’t it? Your very in-depth, well thought out comment could very easily make for a great post itself - thanks so much for your contribution! It provided anyone who might be reading your comment a lot of food of thought!
6:27 am on June 6th, 2008 19
Patricia:
You bet - I will keep on sharing, indeed. You’ve also become another member of the core of angels who continue to remind me of my spiritual essence and to keep moving forward, sharing along the way.
Thanks so much for that! I love your energy and I can’t help but wonder when our paths will cross because it’s inevitable. It has to happen - it is just a matter of when.
It’s true that you have to be careful about who you share your dreams with. That’s very true. I remember getting that advice a long time ago and I pretty much follow it but sometimes i’ll hit a snag or two and run across someone like my friend who might have been perceiving things through his own filter(s) for whatever reason. It happens.
Thanks for the support - I won’t disappoint you - I’ll keep sharing while remembering to stay grounded.
6:33 am on June 6th, 2008 20
Phil:
Phil, you know, I’m blessed to have your presence grace the pages of Adversity University yet again. To hear from the “relationship geek” is like WHOA. Thanks Phil for your vote of confidence - I know I can count on you to set thing right in my mind and you already know you can expect the same of me.
You and I have experienced the same thing along the way. I guess it’s the price we pay for barreling after our dreams. The higher you reach for a star, the more we will encounter people with filters like my friend.
No judgment there - it just is. We have learned to love and accept with compassion. You embody that principle incredibly well.
6:37 am on June 6th, 2008 21
Corinne:
Indeed my friend was probably having a “rude New York moment.” That phrase brought a smile to my face for I had lived there for 16 years. Had plenty of those moments myself! LOL.
Me too - I LOVE it when old or even new friends tell me what they’re up to. I revel in their success - how could I not? It’s inherent nature to celebrate with them.
You’re funny - “I still know how to be rude if necessary.” Oh dear Lord, that’s funny. Well, if it helps, I think I know too but like you, years of living in the Midwest and delving into spiritual way of thinking has tempered that tendency considerably. Thank goodness.
We’re all a “progress in the making.” If that makes any sense?
4:01 pm on June 6th, 2008 22
About viral content: Yeah, there is this issue here. You want something to go big, so you promote it, say it’s the stuff, etc. However, there is a difference between promoting something because you want to gratify your pride (like the power-tripping kind-of-pride), and promoting it because of … well, something besides personal pride.
Even people who are doing something to supposedly help someone else might only be in it to serve their own possibly evil purpose. Now, this isn’t all bad, because good things may come of it.
They key is your motivation. Why do you do what you do?
Ryans last blog post..going out in a chariot of fire
5:01 pm on June 6th, 2008 23
Ryan:
You’re absolutely right to ask the question: Why do you do what you do? I suspect there are multi-layered answers to that question for most people. The same thing goes for why people hope their material goes viral.
Let me be bold and share with you my thoughts on this, especially on why I do what I do:
1. I do what I do because there’s nothing more powerful than seeing tears in someone’s eyes after I’ve touched them in a powerful way. (If I get a letter or email from someone, I can feel the energy so it would be the same as meeting them in person). It’s very gratifying b/c I know what it’s like to have people reach out to me (remember the fifth grade teacher story?).
2. Why would I hope my material goes viral? B/C in order for me to reach many people out there, my name has to get around and having your work go viral is one way for that to happen. It’s the cheapest form of PR because it costs - nothing!
But like I said in the post, there’s no formula for that. It’s all dependent on the fickle public’s mood. But when something does go viral, suddenly you’re perceived in a different light and opportunities open up in magical ways. Look at what happened to the famous “dancer”, “the laughing baby,” “the guy who cried for Brittany Spears.” Just about all of them now have TV contracts and/or other opportunities, furthering their careers.
Having said that, I have actually NOT focused on making anything viral. I just do my best and that’s that. I have no control over whether anything I do, say or write will go viral but if it does, well, than I’m grateful for it!
3. The more people who know about me, the more speaking, consulting, coaching and other opportunities come. And what does that mean? I increase the chances of raising my standard of living.
4. I also do what I do because if you want to get psychoanalytical about it (LOL), when I was a kid, I was ignored at the dinner table. As a speaker, I have hundreds of eyes following my every move. I also have a special gift in connecting with audiences and that, to me, is very spiritual. It’s like we’re all in on this together kind of thing. And I love that feeling. We all want to belong and when I speak, I create that environment somehow (yes, God helps - a whole lot).
There you have it! Why I do what I do. What about you?
11:38 am on June 7th, 2008 24
That is the golden question, Stephen. The short answer: I’m still figuring it out.
The long answer: I haven’t gotten that far yet … BUT I do like writing, I do like helping people, I do like interacting at this level. I’m generally a social recluse and somewhat people-phobic. I’m sure there is a scientific term for all that. Maybe “big fat dork?”
Like most, I’m a selfish creature, so it’s hard to get away from wanting things because “I just want it!” However, writing and interacting with good people seems to lessen that urge.
Ryans last blog post..going out in a chariot of fire
5:03 pm on June 7th, 2008 25
Ryan:
You are an interesting person to carry on a dialog with! Well, maybe with your new blogging adventures and correpsonding with people like me and others, you’ll eventually meet them in person and that’ll help you with your people=phobia.
If you start attending blogging conferences like the one I went to in Chicago (called SOBCon08 - google it), you’ll be amazed at the amount of love, respect and trust we have for one another. I felt like they were my family by the time I left.
Have you ever heard of “The Artist’s Way”? by Julia Cameron? After I left Wall Street, I started writing extensively in journals, using her book as a guideline to go deep within me. It was a huge creative exercise and that’s how I got my start in writing. It also helped me look at my feelings, emotions and everything that I had stuffed down there over the years. I highly recommend it.
5:11 pm on June 7th, 2008 26
Never heard of the book, but I’ll look it up.
A blogging conference would be fun, as long as it’s not one of those things where they constantly tell you a million different ways to earn six figures by blogging. I get turned off by those kind of sites.
Ryans last blog post..going out in a chariot of fire
5:14 pm on June 7th, 2008 27
Ryan:
I know exactly what you mean by the bombardment of sites and seminars telling you a million ways to make money.
SOBCon08 was actually very “non-commerical” and it was done that way for a purpose. The organizers wanted to run the event in a very non-salesy way and they succeeded. By far. There were no pushy salespeople trying to get you to do this or that.
It was all about learning, fellowship, connections and fun. I really, really enjoyed it. I made some wonderful new friends that will probably last a life time. So that’s an option for you next year if you’re up for it. I’ll be sure to get you situated comfortably. I love people and I have this gift of helping people be at ease because I’m at ease with myself, giving them to be permission to be at ease too (subconsciously).
5:50 pm on June 7th, 2008 28
That’s a pretty sweet talent you have–making people feel at ease. Do you think you could bottle that up and sell it, because I’d be first in line. I’m not kidding. Here, take my credit card!
Ryans last blog post..going out in a chariot of fire
7:52 pm on June 7th, 2008 29
Ryan:
Wow, that’s quite a compliment you just gave me there! Well, if you stick around long enough, I’ll have some products and services coming on the pipeline outside my professional speaking and life coaching services.
I’m still formulating a way to help people reach inside themselves and find their inner selves. I love the idea of taking people to the next level and I think you just saw that - thanks!
7:35 pm on June 10th, 2008 30
Twist your tongue no longer Stephen.
Tsufit is pronounced “Tsoo-feet”; the “Ts” is like in Tsunami. I spend all day spelling it, but at least I don’t get forgotten.
Tsufit
5:36 am on June 12th, 2008 31
Tsufit:
LOL - thanks a lot for helping me pronounce your very interesting-sounding name.
9:29 am on June 12th, 2008 32
Stephen,
Yes, we do have to consider the source and the possibility that the comments we receive might be more about the other person than ourselves. I think we have so much to learn about what other people say, because it gives us something to reflect inward about ourselves and discover what really has weight and what doesn’t.
Karen Putz / DeafMoms last blog post..Identifying the Deaf Gene
5:08 am on June 13th, 2008 33
Karen:
Yes, you’re right - comments bloggers receive usually have more to do with them, which is something I have to keep in mind. This goes along with my teachings that if there is something about another person that’s bothering us, it’s not them, it’s us.
But like you said, it’s always good to do a little self introspection when we hear things that might be a bit uncomfortable for us b/c there might be a nugget of truth in what they’re saying about us.
Thanks for your input!
9:21 pm on July 7th, 2008 34
Great post! It’s so true that we’re too often embarrassed to shine our light into the world, forgetting what a gift that light can be to others. In my experience, what most inspires others is when we share our stories — as you did with this post. Of course, sharing our stories is not only about sharing our surface successes; it’s about sharing the adversity and the underlying redemption. Thanks for stepping into the spotlight long enough for me to find your blog!
- Mark David
Mark David Gersons last blog post..Cosmic Puberty, or Living Radical Evolution
9:42 pm on July 7th, 2008 35
Mark David:
Glad you enjoyed the post - whether or not we realize it, all of us are stars. We just need to allow ourselves to shine.
You’re right - when we share our stories, we have the potential of inspiring others. People love to read stories versus a dry run of “The ABCS of Life.”
By the way, I noticed that you’ve written some books - you have stories of your own, I presume?