If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. Meister Eckhart
Last week was the first time I began adding quotes to the weekly gratitude posts. I’m always looking for new ways to make it a little more interesting. If you have quotes you’d like to share for future gratitude posts, please let me know.
Every situation, especially the challenges we face, has a silver lining behind it and that’s something to be grateful for. There are those who claim that no matter how many times they say thank you in gratitude, they continue to attract bad things into their lives, making it seem as if this practice was nothing but mumbo-jumbo.
I disagree.
I would ask them one simple question: “Have you really taken a look at what’s going on inside you that might be attracting whatever (bad or uncomfortable) circumstances you’re experiencing?” Maybe there’s a lesson to be learned.
I learned one such lesson this week.
Ghandi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” In order to change your outer circumstances, it means you need to go within and make some internal changes first.
People Who Don’t Value What You Have to Offer
Yes, I’m grateful to those who don’t value what I have to offer.
WHAT?!@?
Let me explain.
A former subscriber sent me an email asking me to share my thoughts about a personal problem he was having with a lady friend. I won’t go into detail here but I wrote back saying I’d be happy to but added that if he wanted to pursue things further, we could discuss my life coaching services. I wrote a thought provoking response and sent that off.
A few days later he replied, thanking me for what I had to say and asked how much I charged for coaching services.
When I heard back from him, he was a completely changed man. As soon as I saw that he was no longer ending his emails with “Fondly,” I knew the mere mention of money triggered something in him. He went on to imply that I did not know what I was talking about because, after all, this was HIS best friend and more or less said, “How dare you to charge something that is out of reach for me?”
My first thought was, “How DARE he?”
I had to resist my ego’s temptation to defend myself and bite back but I forced myself to hold my tongue and waited until I cleared my mind. After I cooled down, I sent a polite but brief reply that essentially said, “I’m sorry you feel that way. Best wishes.”
I figured that would be the end of it. But it was not to be.
He sent me another email with a tone that was considerably more accusing than the first, essentially telling me I had no right to give him such advice, especially for money. That’s when I decided not to respond because I didn’t want to get bogged down in his negative energy so I cut him off.
But this triggered a tape recorder inside me. Thanks to increased awareness of those hidden recorders, I came to realize that this man was a divine angel, sent to me to teach me a lesson. He was my mirror. Anytime someone pushes your buttons, it is a call to look within.
The question is why was he rejecting my coaching services? Was it because in my mind I would not have paid someone else who offered the same coaching services at the price I quoted him? Or was it a way for the universe to tell me that I was undervaluing myself?
Despite the unpleasantness of it all, this was a divine gift for me. It really didn’t matter whether or not he really could afford my services. What mattered is that he brought something to my attention that I needed to clear up internally. So even though this subscriber is no longer a part of this community (his choice), I thank him for coming into my life and making me look at deeper issues within me.
The lesson? Twofold:
- One, is for every person who doesn’t value what you have to offer, there are ten others who will gladly pay you what you say you are worth (this has been my experience in the speaking business).
- Two, for every person who asks you for advice and then doesn’t want to pay for more is probably not a good client for you anyway (I learned that when I was a stockbroker on Wall Street).
PR Bonanza Continues to Ripple Across America
In last week’s gratitude post, I announced that Anita Bruzzese, a syndicated columnist, crafted a very accurate article about how I overcame adversity and went on to achieve my dreams in business and in aviation. I’m excited to share with my faithful friends, fans, subscribers, visitors and everyone else that this article has since appeared in 7 more cities (with many more coming):
- Tucson Citizen (AZ)
- The Salt lake Tribune (UT)
- Courier Post Online (NJ)
- Poughkeepsie Journal (NY)
- The Desert Sun (Palm Springs, CA)
- APP.com (NJ)
- Indianapolis Star (Indiana)
I see this as God’s way of helping me plant more seeds as I continue to advance towards my dreams. Thank you God for this unexpected bonus. I know you have a plan for me and I’m excited to see where you lead me and my friends at Adversity University.
Major Publisher Invites Me to Submit Proposal
When the first article appeared in AZ, I received an invitation from a major publisher to submit a book proposal. It came directly from the executive editor of that house. Publishers love authors who attract media attention and so how could the timing of the PR bonanza have been an accident? Because of the precise timing between the articles appearing and the editor contacting me, I was able to mention it in the promotions section of my book proposal, making it even stronger than it was before this happened.
Former Editor of Harper Collins, Now a Literary Agent, Also Wants to See the Book Proposal
Right around the time the third article came out in Salt Lake City, I received another invitation to submit my book proposal, this time from a well known literary agent who I had queried months ago. After months of waiting to her back from her, she suddenly sent an email saying, “I’d love to see your proposal.”
Whoa.
Again, timing. The universe is very precise, it’s amazing.
Patrick Combs Invites Me to Participate in a Teleconference Call
A very good friend of mine, Patrick Combs, who I did a profile on months ago (Meet Patrick Combs), is a very successful speaker, author and coach. We met several years ago, the story of which is in that profile. For several years, we kept in touch and watched each other’s career grow and prosper. Every so often, we’d email one another but that’s about it.
Last week I sent him a link to one of Anita’s articles as a way of keeping him apprised of my progress. Suddenly an idea thundered through his mind (from the divine, no less), and he asked if I would be interested in participating in a teleconference call with his subscribers this coming Saturday (May 31).
What Patrick didn’t know was that I had recently just installed a new telephone system allowing me to communicate on the phone in a new way (via live operator who appears on the screen, interpreting what the other party is saying). That means for the first time in my life, I can say YES to anyone who wants me to jump in a teleconference call!
This is proof that the universe is benevolent in nature. It will help you reach your dreams if you keep going and stay focused. Stay faithful and the right people, circumstances will begin to appear to help you get there.
I mean, Patrick knows I’m deaf. In the past, we used the old cumbersome method of communicating through an operator who had to type everything he said back to me. If he knew this then why did he ask me to participate in an upcoming call?
Because he probably forgot! God planted a powerful thought in his mind, temporarily making him forget that the old way would not have worked! If he had let fear or ego get in the way, he would not have bothered to ask. But he did and because of that, I’m about to experience a new way of connecting with others in the world!
By the way, if you are a speaker or thinking about becoming one, Patrick is actually having a FREE teleconference call “Speak and Succeed” TODAY (Friday, May 30, 2008) at 3 pm EST (12 Noon PST) and I highly recommend you call in and listen. He and his wife are a dynamic duo and I trust them 100 percent. They are people of integrity, love, honor and respect. Click here to go to the landing page - be sure to tell Patrick I said “hi” and that you know me from Adversity University.
Chris Garrett Helps Me Celebrate Gratitude and Causes a Movement
Chris Garrett, a major force in the blogging world and co-author of the Problogger book, surprised me by giving me top billing in an article called The Productivity Secret of Positivity and Gratitude. Not only did he link to one of the newspapers but he also helped me generate a nice buzz around the blogosphere about the value of being grateful, possibly setting off a new movement.
Imagine if every single blogger wrote one post a week about gratitude. That would be over 100 million people saying, “thank you” every single week. Imagine that!
Thank you Chris for helping me spread the power of positivity and gratitude!
Social Media Applications
For the longest time I resisted the use of social media applications because I always assumed they were time wasters. The last thing I wanted to do was to add another distraction in my life.
Or so I thought.
When I went to SOBCon08, literally everyone there was Twittering away! My partner in crime, Karen Putz (we sat at the same table throughout the conference) was Twittering like crazy. She kept telling me she couldn’t put down the wireless device she was using to send 140 character messages to her Twitter friends. Well, that got me curious.
When I arrived back home after the conference, curiosity got the best of me and I ended up a Twitter convert. Oh Good Lord, what did I get myself into?
Thanks to Twitter, I am in touch with a lot more people that I might not have gotten to know. I was surprised to discover that some well known people use Twitter. People like Larry King and Anderson Cooper, both of CNN, are among them. Whereas it was nearly impossible to reach A-list bloggers via conventional email, you have a chance of getting on their radar through Twitter.
Feel free to follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/sjhopson
And then there’s Facebook. I made the assumption that this was another time waster. I just figured it was a bunch of friends connecting and nothing more. But again at SOBCon08, I learned that many of the bloggers there had FB profiles. So, I figured why not? I might as well give it a shot.
So, I’m on there too. If you have a FB account, simply do a search of my name “Stephen Hopson” and request to be added as a friend. I’ll return the favor. Okay?
Food for thought: What are you grateful for this week? What do you really think of the meaning gratitude? Is it mumbo-jumbo for you? Or is it a tool you use? How often do you say “thanks”?
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12:25 am on May 30th, 2008 1
Yep Yep Yep - I agree on many of your points. That’s great that you are getting some attention and I wish the best for you on these opportunities.
Gratitude is huge for me. I thank people over and over mostly outta the blue when we are chatting on Skype. I’m so grateful for my eBook coming to a close and I can start marketing it. It has been a great journey that actually opened up the next idea for an eBook while talking about it with my daughter’s teacher.
I’m grateful for valuing my self worth. This is a struggle but I do check out.. then back in to realize, it’s all about who you are. And I love who I am - although I am ever changing, I appreciate the times when I am tested so I can grow.
Lisa Callsens last blog post..Music Lovers are Hearing and Deaf
3:22 am on May 30th, 2008 2
Stephen, well done for handling your email situation with integrity and love (for both yourself and your former subscriber). And congratulations on all the fantastic things coming your way! Anita’s article was great.
Consider yourself FaceBooked ;). And I look forward to one day chatting to you on the phone!
Mags | Woo-Woo Wisdoms last blog post..Developing A Relationship With Your Spirit Guides (Part 1)
5:03 am on May 30th, 2008 3
Mag:
Thanks - I really had to bite my tongue on that one. My ego wanted to get mired into the negativity but I decided it wasn’t worth it. But this man had to get the last word and sent one last email using the contact form saying, “if you don’t have the courage to handle this then bye bye.”
Oh Lord. What a teacher!
Thanks for Facebooking me - look forward to getting to know you more and yes we will have a telephone conversation one day. In fact, I’m thinking about setting up my first teleconference call with subscribers of Adversity University. Wouldn’t that be fun, especially now that I have this new phone system and you’ll all be able to hear my voice?
5:05 am on May 30th, 2008 4
Lisa:
It’s a very interesting time of my life and I’m definitely grateful for it. If you were to look at my posts from the past, you’d see I’ve been on a long journey, especially in the area of publishing.
I look forward to communicating with you on the phone and ooVoo as well! Keep up the good work - God is proud of you.
7:23 am on May 30th, 2008 5
Stephen,
Great post! Things are really coming together on all fronts for you. Time has picked you as you say. I love the idea about a conference call for subscribers and I think you’ll also get lots of invitations from all over to be on their conference calls.
I think it would be great if you started a movement where Fridays would be gratitude day for all bloggers and all readers. Think of the ripple that would start!
You are in your element and you are radiating loud and clear! Your divine personality is truly unfolding!
Sharmaine
PS I love the quotes!!!
10:46 am on May 30th, 2008 6
Sharmaine:
Deep thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. You’ve seen just about everything I’ve gone through in the last year and a half since joining the Adversity University community. I appreciate so much your show of support and strength. You saw the future when my mind was cloudy, you saw the present when my mind was in the future.
Awesome!
11:58 am on May 30th, 2008 7
Everything seems to be coming up roses for you! This is going to be a wonderful year.
Just wanted to comment on your prospective Life Coach client.
I only confer with people who are close friends for free. Everyone else pays.
As soon as I get a referral, I give them the price after a conversation about their problem on the telephone. If I feel I can help them, they must prepay for four sessions. Nothing gets done in one or two. Then afterwards, they can pay per session.
Sometimes, we have to turn down people because they have mental illness. That is not in our area of helping ordinary people with their decisions.
Believe me, people have money to spend on other things. Everyone has “hidden money” - they find it somewhere. And if they want credit, I have a paypal account. Although they do charge a fee.
If your dishwasher is leaking, GE will charge over $150. Just to walk into your house. No guarantees they can fix it.
My advice? Don’t give much free advice. (Except to me!)
But I do admire you for wanting to help people. Tell them to read your blog. That’s free! Lots of good thoughts to ponder.
Corinne Edwardss last blog post..LET THE CAT COME TO YOU - A story of relationship
12:04 pm on May 30th, 2008 8
What am I grateful for this week?
The success of my friend, Stephen, and the fame he is experiencing that is helping him reach his goals. Congratulations!!! and thanks for the inspiration to all of us.
“What do you really think of the meaning gratitude? Is it mumbo-jumbo for you? Or is it a tool you use?”
It is the only way to go. If you are truly grateful it changes your whole life. I’m thinking that those people who are having trouble with gratitude have it all backwards. You have to be grateful just because you are truly grateful, not because you expect something in return. It’s doesn’t work that way. It is certainly not mumbo jumbo and I wouldn’t call it a “tool.” I’m just grateful because I am so blessed.
How often do you say “thanks”?
Often. Several times a day. Of course I go through slumps, but I try to keep it at the forefront of my mind. It’s a CONSTANT spirit of gratitude that makes the difference. It’s an attitude, not a once or twice a day thing.
Stephen you rock!
Jennifers last blog post..What Can Death Teach Us about Life?
7:02 pm on May 30th, 2008 9
A lot of times “Thank you” is the only prayer I use. I seems to suffice.
And you are so right about the “if it pushes your buttons” idea. I have learned that if I feel angry in response to what someone says, I may have to look at the issue a little deeper. I usually don’t like it at the time but that has been the previous lessons and I try to learn from my past lessons.
And congratulations on all the good things happening for you! And many more.
Have a great weekend.
Loraleigh Vances last blog post..Who Wins in a Fight with God (Zen, Buddha, Jane)?
11:16 pm on May 30th, 2008 10
Hi Stephen,
I agree it is important to be grateful to things I don’t like, because this completes the learning cycle. If we don’t like what it is we like and don’t like, we don’t move forward.
Further, I think it is essential to pray for more than just thanking what it is right now. It is a way to express our faith in possibilities.
12:46 am on May 31st, 2008 11
I like it when you say, “Thank you God for this unexpected bonus. I know you have a plan for me and I’m excited to see where you lead me and my friends at Adversity University.”
I’ll add mine and say, “Thank you God for the blessings you show me every day. I know you have a plan for me and I’m excited to see where you lead me and my friends at Plain Talk and Ordinary Wisdom”.
I appreciate you Stephen. Thank you for this weekly Gratitude post.
Blessings,
Pat Rs last blog post..The Little Things
5:19 am on May 31st, 2008 12
Corrine:
One of the greatest things I LOVE about this blog is the amount of conversation I have with the readers. I love the amount of interaction that takes place, especially from you!
Great advice about how to approach fee-based coaching. Thanks for your input - it made a lot of sense.
5:24 am on May 31st, 2008 13
Jennifer:
You too! You’re another “regular” that I’ve come to enjoy bantering with. You truly know how to add value to the conversation going on here. I appreciate it so much. You always manage to leave more than “one-liners.” It’s so cool.
Yes, yes, I hear your definition of gratitude. It can mean different things to different people. I absolutely agree with you that you can’t “manipulate” gratitude for the purpose of expecting something back.
The universe isn’t foolhardy. It knows what we are doing deep inside. There’s a certain kind of energy that comes with gratitude, it’s hard to explain or describe but for those of us who have experienced true gratitude, will know what I’m referring to.
Like, have you ever, in a fit of gratitude, cried your eyes out in total joy and thanks for something? I have. Not all the time but I’ve reached that level of gratitude at times. You only know what’s like when you’ve gone through it.
Thanks for sharing.
5:26 am on May 31st, 2008 14
Loraleigh:
Good to hear from you again! Can you remember the last time someone pushed your buttons and it made you look within yourself? What happened? And what did you learn from it?
I love having you here as a regular. It’s like seeing you at a coffeehouse every morning!
5:48 am on May 31st, 2008 15
Akemi:
Your contribution continues to add valuable content to this blog and we are all better off because of it.
You bring up a very important point - completing the cycle. I also like what you said about prayer. It is the best wireless form of communication! What a great statement: “[prayer] is a way to express our faith in possibilities.” That’s right Akemi! It is.
Thanks for sharing and for becoming a solid part of this blog. Your feedback is vital.
5:51 am on May 31st, 2008 16
Pat:
You certainly know how to take what I say and make it fit for yourself - that’s way cool!
All of us have something to share with the world and blogging is definitely one way of doing that. I know it sounds cliche to say this but it’s probably the best thing since sliced bread!
Have a great weekend and thanks for being yet another fan of Adversity University. You’ve become a core part of a group of fans and cheerleaders, right there along with me while I go through ups and downs. That means a lot to me. You rock!
11:17 am on May 31st, 2008 17
From Stephen: “Can you remember the last time someone pushed your buttons and it made you look within yourself? What happened? And what did you learn from it?”
Good gracious, no. I try to stay away from those people! LOL.
Yes, actually I do. Without going into a lot of details, I noted the anger, questioned it’s reason for being there, realized there was a lesson to be learned, concentrated on calming myself and focused on the lesson.
Simple but not easy. Practice.
Loraleigh Vances last blog post..Who Wins in a Fight with God (Zen, Buddha, Jane)?
1:20 pm on May 31st, 2008 18
Loraleigh:
Indeed - practice is the key. I was reading this afternoon “The Greatest Salesman in the World” and in it said one of the greatest skills we could master is the ability to control our emotions. Not an easy thing to do, especially when our buttons are being pushed.
The difference between a person who succeeds and one who fails is the ability to calmly assess the situation and muster the courage to move through it with love and light.
One of my earlier experiences in dealing with that happened when I was at the bank on Wall Street. I had an arrogant boss who did not like me for whatever reason. I forced myself to see him in a positive light and worked on that for a year. Long story short, he ended up promoting me - a big lesson learned!
Thanks for sharing - I enjoy your contributions.
10:00 am on June 4th, 2008 19
Hi Stephen,
Here’s a quote that I think is good and you’ll recognize it since it’s from your interview with Anita Bruzzese:
“Cut through the fog of fear by listening to your intuition and discover your true passions,” he said. “Trust that by following your passions, people, places, things and circumstances will appear almost magically to supply you with what you need.”
You are showing that following your true passion is working out well for you!
Joan
2:28 pm on June 4th, 2008 20
Joan:
Yep that’s my quote!
Yes, following my true passion is beginning to sprout some dividends. It remains to be seen what happens going forward. Those articles continue to pop up around the country and I never know where they’ll show up until I get a Google Alert.