A week ago I had a fabulous interview with Peter Clemens, editor of PickTheBrain and blogger at “The Change Blog.” Today we are picking up where we left off with more questions and answers for him.

Let’s call Peter from the “green room” and welcome him to Stephen Hopson Interviews!

10. We all have a dark side, what’s yours?

One of the major things I struggle with is apathy and lack of motivation. When I was younger I was so naturally passionate and curious about life. However, in my mid to late teens I had a tough time at school and my self-confidence really was shattered. One of the ways I dealt with the bad things that were happening in my life was to develop an “I don’t care” attitude. This dark period of my life is long behind me, but this toxic attitude stills rears its head on occasions.

Stephen’s Response: We all go through the natural ebb and flow of life, experiencing highs and lows. The challenge is to climb back up when we hit rock bottom – not an easy task. Sounds like the “I don’t care” attitude was developed as a coping mechanism. I can definitely identify with that in large group settings where I can’t keep up with the swirl of conversation flowing around me. I can only keep up for so long after which I sometimes go into the “Whatever” mode and just let things slide. Because of that, I end up missing bits and pieces of the conversation. I still do it, even now.

11. What would you say was the defining moment that forever changed the course of your life? For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?

That’s an interesting question. My life was forever changed on February 10, 2007, when my first son Xavier was born. As any parent reading this interview will be aware, it is just an unbelievable feeling and life hasn’t been the same since.

My defining moment, however, came approximately 6 months prior to the birth of my son. It was a defining moment because up until then I didn’t want to be a father. I had found out the unexpected news 2 months earlier and not responded to it well. “My life is over, I am doomed to a life of poverty, I will never again have the freedom to travel the world…..” - these were just a few of the thoughts I had. And my unhappiness was reflected in my behavior at the time – I drank too much alcohol and I didn’t give my wife the love she deserved when she, herself, was going through a difficult stage.

My defining moment then was not some huge event, but rather a major mental shift. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and wishing life was easier, I just decided to be excited about the prospect that I would be a parent and started taking the necessary steps to positively change my life. At this time my life was a mess in many ways, so I realized I had a lot of work to do on myself if I was going to be a role model for another human being!

Stephen’s Response: Yes, the “mental shift” is sometimes all it takes for things to finally click into place. I often find myself taking a hard look at what’s happening and then make a firm decision to change my attitude about the situation. In my experience, when that happens, it’s almost magical. The universe “hears” the inner shift and begins to help you by placing you in certain circumstances, giving you the right tools to make good on the mental decision you just made. This is particularly useful when you’ve hit one obstacle after another and you’re about ready to give up. But then when this mental shift happens, you’re taken to a different place altogether. The first step in any situation, regardless of what it is, is recognizing that you’re in trouble and then going from there.

12. At Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity. How have you dealt with adversity in your life? Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.

Well, I should firstly say that I have lived a fortunate life to date. I have loving parents, went to a good school and have not had any major health problems. So in a sense I don’t feel that “adversity” is a good word for my experience. A more appropriate description might be “internal conflict”. Looking back on my life I really have been my worst own enemy in many areas.

Shyness: I used to be painfully shy due to what I believe was a lack of self-confidence. These days I am still fairly quiet, but it is not due to shyness and I am quite comfortable approaching people to start a conversation, etc. I was able to overcome this shyness at university just by continually putting myself in situations where I had to meet new people.

Depression: I became very depressed in high school. Once again, I was able to shake this at university. Having left the stiffling environment that was high school, I made some true friends and I learned how to enjoy life again. I think the key here was just a willingness to try new things and meet new people.

Jealousy: I grew up surrounded by people who were much better off than me. Then, just a couple of years ago my home city Perth underwent (and is still undergoing) an economic boom that, amongst other things, saw housing prices double in the space of three years (I didn’t benefit from this boom at all). I think for a number of years I was jealous of people who were better off than me, but worst of all I didn’t do anything to advance my own situation. I just lived in hope that someone (e.g. my parents) would give me a whole stack of cash or that I would win the lottery or something. Finally, I decided to “get over it and get on with it”. In short, I took responsibility for my own life and created my own success. This shift in attitude is making all the difference….

Stephen’s Response: I loved everything you said, in particular the last one where you hoped your parents would simply give you a stack of cash or that you’d win the lottery to wipe away all your problems. I dare anyone to say they didn’t have this secret fantasy at least once in the life, thinking a gazillionaire would hand a check saying, “Congratulations, well done, here’s a check for ya.” I pointed this out in a post I wrote recently “Lies We Tell Ourselves.” It’s pretty funny considering how we’ve all had this form of thought but won’t admit it.

Again, you pointed out something very powerful here. Once we take responsibility for our lives and take inspired action to get ourselves to the next level, we almost don’t need to have others handing us a wad of cash. Why? Because if we give ourselves a chance, we find that we’re perfectly capable of doing it ourselves through the grace of God.

There’s a saying that goes something like this: “Through God all things are possible.” He gives us inspired ideas and then it’s up to us to take appropriate action. That’s been my belief for the last several years. Life is a continual learning process and hopefully we’ll be inspired enough to take the bull by the horns and do the best we can. Clearly, you’ve done that and much more! Bravo! I’m proud to call you a friend Peter.

13. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?

Favorite: “Daddy” – but in particular how my 15 month old son says it: “Da-deeeeee”. I get home from work and my wife, Kathryn, tells me that he has been saying this word all day – it melts my heart. (You must be able to tell I am a very proud father).

Least favorite: War, prejudice, racism, intolerance, hate…. of course it is not these actual words that I dislike, but rather what they represent.

Stephen’s Response: Oh yes, I can tell you’re one heck of a proud fatha. LOL. (That wasn’t a typo, just so that you know, wink, wink). I am with you on the least favorite words, particularly hate. I’m like, “Why?”

14. What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why?

Blogs:

Steve Pavlina: like many others, Steve inspired to start blogging about personal development.

Pick The Brain – John Wesley: In my early days of blogging I used Pick The Brain as a model for my own blog. In recent months, I have learned a lot from working with John in my role as editor for Pick The Brain.

We The Change – Todd Goldfarb: recently some of my articles have begun to focus less on “I” and more on “we”. Todd’s articles and personal story have played a major part in this shift.

Books:

Rich Dad, Poor Dad: I read this book in my late teens. It completely changed my definition of the word “asset” and opened my eyes to how the rich see the world differently.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: I have read – or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say studied – this book more than any other in my collection.

A New Earth: this book should be mandatory reading for every human being on this planet.

Stephen’s Response: I’m excited to tell you that Todd Goldfarb is actually being interviewed at the university and we will be meeting him here in the very near future! I’ve heard a lot about him, particularly his involvement with a fabulous documentary/movie called “The Shift,” featuring notables like Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra. It’s a must-see movie floating around on the Internet. Like you, I’m fortunate to have “met” John Wesley. We all got to know him months ago when he was interviewed here. Great stuff Peter!

15. Name the top 5 articles from The Change Blog that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from.

1. Living Consciously: 10 Things I Have Learned About Myself
2. 50 Tips From My Year of Change
3. Feel the Pain, Then Make the Change
4. Getting Over It, and Getting On With It
5. Everything I Know About Blogging

Stephen’s Response: While I liked all of these articles, my favorite has to be “Feel the Pain, Then Make the Change.” You described how important it is to recognize what we’re going through, feel the pain (but not dwell on it) and then make a decision to move forward. Powerful.

16. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

To be honest, I don’t believe I will be arriving at any Pearly Gates when I die, nor do I believe God will be saying anything to me. That is not to say I don’t believe in God. It’s just my concept of God is different to what is implied in your question.

What I think more about is what other people on earth will say about me when I die. Was I a good husband/ father/ brother/ friend/ etc? Did I live a life that was filled with fun and happiness? Did I make a positive difference? Rather than being morbid, I find that these questions fill me with energy and help to remind me what the important things in life really are.

Stephen’s Response: This is actually one of my favorite questions because I love to see how people give different responses. Perhaps my question to you in this case should have been, “What Would You Like Your Tombstone to Read?” I think you answered that one rather well here.

17. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear. Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.

I love the sound of my son Xavier laughing. I hate the sound of people arguing.

Stephen’s Response: This is always an interesting question for me to ask because, well, I’ve never had any reference to sound so I can only imagine. It’s like a blind person forming images in the brain about things people are describing to them. The neat thing is that I’m able to “see” things like the laughter on a person’s face or two people arguing animately for all to see.

18. We all have our likes and dislikes. What would you say turns you on and what turns you off? Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.

Likes: the outdoors, warm weather, swimming in the ocean, time with my family, Jon Stewart, a good book, people who are passionate about something, blogging, the movie Juno, Jack Johnson, peanut butter M&M’s.

Dislikes: selfishness, pettiness, Bill O’Reilly (and anyone like him), hangovers, most of the music played on commercial radio, pickles on burgers.

Stephen’s Response: I laughed with delight when you said you didn’t like pickles on burgers. Oh good Lord, I remember picking them off mine! But you know what? I don’t even like mustard on my burgers either! BUT, if I happen to be starving, you bet I won’t care what’s on the darn burger – I’ll gobble the whole thing, pickles and all. LOL.

As for passionate people, oh yes, I love that too. There’s something about a person’s energy when they’re deeply committed to something. They are alive. Every cell of their being is vibrating with a special spiritual power (even if they are agnostic – that’s not even the point) – if they’re excited about something, it’s fun to be in the presence of that person.

19. What’s next for Peter?

More change! There are a number of things coming up in my life, but the major one will be this July when my wife and I are expecting our second child.

Stephen’s Response: Hooray! Congratulations Peter. You’ll have two children calling you “Da-deeeee.” What a musical symphony! I’ll bet you’re recording their lives through photos and video, right?

20. And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?

At The Change Blog (subscribe) and Pick The Brain (subscribe). Also, you can add me as a friend on Digg and StumbleUpon.

Finally, feel free to contact me anytime at peter [at] thechangeblog.com.

Turning to the audience: Well, there you have it folks. Peter Clemens, the man who advocates change and actually lives it! It was a lot of fun having you here Peter. I suspect that you’re probably the type that could crack me up at any given moment. I look forward to our paths crossing one day.

Thanks a lot for giving us a hoot of an interview. Best wishes for continued change and success Peter. Have a safe trip back home. Stay in touch with us, alright?

Special Alert for Subscribers, Readers, Friends, Fans:

Beginning Friday, May 23, 2008, a nationally syndicated columnist will have an article she wrote about me appearing in several newspapers across the nation. All we know is that this article will play out heavily on the East Coast but will also appear in newspapers like Des Moines, Seattle Times, Indianapolis, Detroit and others. If you want to keep track of them, why don’t you sign up for Google Alerts for “Stephen Hopson” and you’ll be notified each time it appears on the Internet. This may be the big break I’ve dreamt about. Further information will be provided this coming Friday when the weekly gratitude post comes out. Stay tuned!

Until next time, enjoy the rest of your week – hopefully you’re having pleasant spring weather wherever you are! Thanks for joining us.

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