I’ve been meaning to write this post ever since I read “17 Lies That Are Holding You Back and The Truth That Will Set You Free” by Steve Chandler. The book made me smile because some of what I read in there were self perpetuating little white lies I’ve told myself over the years. (Photo credit: “mangu” wanders by)
We all do it.
But that doesn’t make it right. We create our own adversity when we try to get away with lies we tell ourselves. There’s a saying that we might try to fool others but we can’t fool God or ourselves. Sooner or later those lies come back to bite us. Hard.
We lie to ourselves for two main reasons: fear and laziness. We’re too lazy to do what we know needs to be done. Either that or we’re afraid of facing what we know to be the truth so we gloss over things or look the other way.
Here are couple of the lies I’ve told myself over the years and how I found them not to be so true after all:
Lie #1: I’m not well connected.
Truth: Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always who you know but mostly what you do (i.e. take action) that brings you closer to your goals. I have numerous examples of my own experiences that smash this little white lie to pieces but I will share 3 with you.
- Example 1: Up to this point, none of my speaking engagements have come as a result of someone I knew. That’s right, ZIPPO. It all began with the decision to have my speaking website professionally overhauled. What I needed was a user friendly site with video testimonials and clips, to name a few. It wasn’t cheap but two or three weeks after the new site went live, I got a completely unsolicited speaking engagement from the University of Phoenix (and many more after that). The funny thing was I knew no one from there. They found me through a Google search and once they visited the site, I was contacted to see if I was available and what my price was. Once I told them the specifics, I was hired. Just like that. No haggling over price, no this or that. Snap, snap and I was booked. Why? Not because I had any “inside contacts” but because I took action. It’s not who you know but what you do.
- Example 2: Several weeks ago, Mark Joyner from Simpleology launched a video competition for the BestSelling Blueprint program (BeTheNextBestSellingAuthor.com). Right around that time, I had just bought a new camcorder and was trying things out for this blog. While I was playing around with it, a subscriber alerted me to Mark’s video competition and suggested that I give it a shot. At first, doubt plagued my mind but I manage to shove them aside and did the video anyway. Competition was fierce with over 200 videos submitted yet I came in first place. Why? Not because I knew Mark or anyone from Simpleology, but because I took action, made the video and then submitted it. It’s not who you know but what you do.
- Example 3: In the late 1990′s, I was sitting on my couch, thinking of all the people who made a difference in my life. My fifth grade teacher’s face swam into focus. I asked myself, “How can I thank her in a big way for making a difference in my life?” The first thought was “On a talk show, why not!?’ The fact that I didn’t know anyone in Hollywood almost stopped me from at least giving it a shot. I wrote a letter to Oprah, The Gayle King Show (now off the air-she’s Oprah’s best friend), The View (with 4 woman including Barbara Walters) and Leeza (also now off the air). Would you believe that every single one of them (except Oprah) got back to me within a week? That’s right – I ended up surprising my fifth grade teacher on the national Leeza show! And it wasn’t because I had “Hollywood” connections but because I took action and simply wrote a letter! It’s not who you know but what you do.
I have many more examples but this ought to suffice. Can you think of a time something good came because of an action you took and not because you knew someone who knew someone else, as the saying goes? I’d love to hear about it.
Lie #2: It’s normal to have love handles and a beer belly when you reach middle age.
Truth: It doesn’t have to be that way. There are men and women in GREAT shape in their 40′s, 50′s 60′s and even older.
- Last year I made a decision to take better care of myself by maintaining a disciplined physical fitness regiment and becoming conscious of what I was eating. For a long time I looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted by what I saw but glossed over it by saying, “Hey, I’m almost 50, what do you expect?” But the lie was a way of covering up the fact that I was too lazy to workout. Deep down inside, I was not at all happy with how I looked. It didn’t feel good to suck in my stomach so I could fit in those pants I bought last year. I felt unattractive. My self confidence took a hit. But once I dropped this lie and made a firm decision, I went on to lose 20 lbs in less than 4 months! The end result? I felt GREAT. My confidence returned and I had more energy. I had a bounce to my walk. That was last year.
Unfortunately this year, I didn’t keep up with it and gained it all back. After going to SOBCon08 last weekend and meeting a lot of “in-shape” bloggers, I knew I was back to lying to myself again.
Therefore, I am holding myself accountable and telling you, my faithful friends, that I am not only working out on a regular basis (again!) but also becoming a conscious eater. My intention is to be back to my normal weight of 155 lbs by September 1, 2008, four months from now. I know I can do this because it was only a year ago I did this. It doesn’t matter that I am almost 50 (okay, okay, I’m going to be 48 in a few weeks, okay? Is that close enough?).
Lie #3: Someone will discover me and write me a big check.
Truth: While Bruce Willis was discovered as a bartender, being found as the next big talent rarely happens. No one is going to enamored by what you’re doing (especially if you’re not out there promoting yourself – more on that in another post) and suddenly write you a check. You have to bite the bullet even if it means going into debt or taking out a business loan (both of which I abhorred the thought of doing).
- Telling myself this lie held me back from making investments in the things I knew needed to be done. For instance, I kept putting off the making of my demo video tape because I knew it would cost thousands to hire the right video person to do it for me. I lied to myself because I was afraid to fall back into the hole like I did in the early 80′s. The experience of getting over my head with credit card debt (to the point where i almost went bankrupt) made me reluctant to touch credit cards ever again. But you gotta do what you gotta do if you want your business to take off. Only you can take action.
Lie #4: My self esteem comes from people, places and things outside myself.
Truth: While praise and recognition from other people, places or circumstances is wonderful, they are fickle, fleeting. What lasts is the feeling that comes from accomplishing something you did. This allows you to raise your self esteem anytime you want because it’s not based on something outside yourself (which can change at the drop of a hat).
- I used to tell myself that if the audience wasn’t clapping loudly enough or giving me a standing ovation at the end, it meant that I sucked. I now know that’s not true. I don’t do speeches for the standing ovations (outside myself); I do them to make a difference (feel good inside).
Two weeks ago I gave a presentation in Las Vegas as a closing keynote speaker. It was one of those presentations where I was in the “zone.” My mind, body and spirit were connected. The stories that I was sharing flowed beautifully. I felt confident, powerful and very much connected with everyone in the room. After it was over, I asked myself what I thought of my own performance. My response was, “It felt really, really good.” And you know what? That’s all that really counts. It didn’t matter that I didn’t get a standing ovation. It didn’t matter that no one rushed over to mob me for an autograph. It didn’t matter that one or two people “didn’t get it.” It was the “doing” of this speech that elevated my self-esteem, not the audience.
Food for thought: What lies have you told yourself lately? Don’t be shy!
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1:13 am on May 12th, 2008 1
Hi Stephen,
Your timing of the post about Little White Lies is interesting as I just became aware of one I was practicing this past week.
I was so amazed and intrigued that I just went ahead and blogged about the “Ah Ha!” moment when I realized it.
We are all faced with adversities of some variety. Thanks for your inspiration and good work.
Loraleigh
Loraleigh Vances last blog post..How to Shake it like a Polaroid Picture!
5:44 am on May 12th, 2008 2
Loraleigh:
Isn’t it amazing the power of the mind that is used for good and bad? Good in terms of overcoming adversity and bad in terms of lying to ourselves? We could use the mind for either or. Amazing, right?
What was your white lie, if you don’t mind sharing?
6:27 am on May 12th, 2008 3
Stephen, great insights! I found your blog via Chris Brogan and will definitely be reading you from now on. Your lie #2 is very close to one I tell myself — that I’ll get back to eating healthy and working out “when I’m ready.” It’s a lie because I need to JUST DO IT and not keep waiting for this imaginary moment in time when I’ll suddenly be “ready” and it’ll all be much easier to do. It’s never easy to start eating right and exercising again after you’ve let yourself go for a while. Just gotta DO IT!
Lara Kretlers last blog post..On PR blacklisting
6:37 am on May 12th, 2008 4
Lara:
Hey there! Welcome, welcome and welcome. I’m so excited to have you here. Thanks for letting me know you found me via Chris. I had the good fortunate to meet him at SOBCon08 and we immediately connected. He’s a good, authentic person.
Hahaha, Lie #2 is probably the most common, isn’t it? Gosh, I’ve been on and off that lie for years and now I’m back off the lie and working on myself, yet again.
Thanks!! Glad you stopped by and commented.
11:41 am on May 12th, 2008 5
Hi Stephen,
Isn’t it amazing how God works in our lives. This post is ringing right behind the patience that I have been working on. I’m a I WANT IT NOW kinda girl.
I’m a bit overwhelmed to respond, so I’ll be back, but I know that your points are excellent! Taking care of your body, mind and spirit is priority.
Now, I’m thinking my LIE is “no one wants to hear about a girl that grew up with Deaf parents, what’s so special about that”? or, “it’s so hard to keep educating people”.
Lisa Callsens last blog post..Merci Beaucoup Sign Language and Thanks To Our Soldiers
12:24 pm on May 12th, 2008 6
Hi Stephen,
Love this post and your emphasis on action supported from within! You wrote to Oprah? Gee that’s my long-term dream, too, to be on her show. (And I think it will be a great compliment for her because I don’t watch TV at all and know no other names as talk show host. . .)
About weight control. I really think majority of Americans are going into premature aging. People usually assume my age 10 to 15 years less than what it really is. (The pic on my blog is from 3 years ago when I was 43.) I stay young because I don’t buy into those group lies that certain age people look and weigh such and such BS. . .
Akemi – Yes to Mes last blog post..Do You Know What I Do?
1:10 pm on May 12th, 2008 7
Does rationalizing count as “white lie”?
Nitas last blog post..An Unexpected Interruption
2:32 pm on May 12th, 2008 8
Lisa:
Yes, it’s always interesting to see how God works in our lives. I’m always encountering posts from other places that seem to hit the right note as if they were written just for me. Glad this one resonated with you.
I had to smile when you said you want things NOW. I’m like that too but I’ve learned to gradually let go and let God. But on occasion, I fall into that trap, forgetting.
Your lie is very common – we think we’re not good enough and that our stories are not compelling enough for others to hear but the funny thing is, YOUR STORY IS VERY COMPELLING to certain people. Not everyone will want to hear my story or yours but in a world of billions of people, there’s bound to be people who want to hear your story.
When put in that light, all of a sudden it makes sense, doesn’t it? It just takes time and patience to find those people who want to hear your story. But always remember, you are a STAR. You are God’s child, ready to shine. The world is waiting for you. NOW. LOL.
2:34 pm on May 12th, 2008 9
Akemi:
So glad you stopped by today!
How awesome it is to look 10 to 15 years younger than your actual age. That’s awesome. Of course, that wouldn’t be possible if you bought into all those lies and hoarded them from within. Good for you! You must get a lot of compliments! That’s great.
2:35 pm on May 12th, 2008 10
Hi Stephen,
It actually was more of a white monolog than a white lie. I blogged about it here http://www.loraleighvance.com/blog/2008/05/awareness-equals-responsibility/.
In a nutshell it was about how there was this monolog running in the background of my brain about how everyone else’s life was better than mine. I found then I would focus on that fact rather than focusing on making my life better.
As I said though, with awareness comes responsibility. Now I have to do something about it.
Thank you for your kind comments and keep up the great work!
Loraleigg
Loraleigh Vances last blog post..Clarification of the Niebu-lous Niebu Etiquette
2:36 pm on May 12th, 2008 11
Nita:
Very, very good question. My response?
I think the definition of rationalizing is the same as trying to fudge the truth. When you rationalize, I think it’s the same as making an excuse so you can do something you know you shouldn’t do or not do something you’re supposed to do.
Isn’t that the definition of “rationalizing”? I suppose it would really depend on the situation but…..the word itself…seems to lend to a form of reasoning in order to arrive at a conclusion that is satisfactory to yourself or to other parties even if it isn’t the real truth.
What do you think?
2:44 pm on May 12th, 2008 12
Loraleigh:
Excellent – I appreciate you sharing what you wrote because I asked for it. I had been asking people not to put in self-serving links unless it was appropriate and what you just did was perfect. I wanted to know what your white lie was and you directed me (and others) to your site to satisfy my answer. Great job!
Thanks for sharing – when I start to compare myself to others, that’s when I lie to myself and say they’re having a better life than me. But I don’t do that as much anymore because I’ve learned how dangerous it is to compare to others (if you look in the archives, you’ll see an article I wrote months about about comparing myself to others being debilitating.
Thanks for getting back to us about your white lie – now I’m going to take a look at your article and read more about it.
5:28 pm on May 12th, 2008 13
Self-esteem truly does come from within. Before I felt it inside, I took what others were telling me as truth and made it mine so sometimes we can use the outside stuff to help us believe in ourselves. I didn’t believe in myself for a very long time. I thought I was worthless. Others told me I had value and was a good person, writer and speaker. I listened and decided they were right and did something about it. I made it mine. Now my self-esteem is healthy. I am no longer a shy girl who can’t carry on a conversation with anybody. I have self-confidence and love myself. I learned that if I don’t love myself, I can’t truly love anyone else. Until I love myself, everything else is just an imitation of love. Great post, as usual.
Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Blessed By Strong Women—Happy Mother’s Day
11:51 pm on May 12th, 2008 14
#1 Self Lies due to the two main reasons of fear and laziness.
There is a book that came out years ago about why smart people do stupid things…and it related how self esteem has such an impact on how people live. There are many people willing to be critical of others (low self esteem). Yet, in-spite of knowing better people can take in the lies.
Perhaps it’s that choosing that is the point at which people are seemingly ‘lazy’. Being torn in two directions by what they know is right and still having the ‘indoctrination’ of being told what others promote as what is ‘wrong with them’. Fear can be from either real or perceived difficulty. Change can be hard but is possible.
It’s not who you know but what you do.
I agree that it’s not who you know but what you do. I’m the only one who can take the steps to eat what is good for me. I’m the only one who can decide what each day is to encompass. And yet I’m the one who should be flexible in order to accept that not everything will go as planned but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me.
#2 It’s normal to have love handles and a beer belly when you reach middle age.
Olympics here I come! lol A ways to go there! I like being in shape but have had to deal with a reaction to a prescription antibiotic (a simple infection to be treated with a new antibiotic that was a new combination of drugs…which my body didn’t like). So for me getting ‘back’ is a slow process but I know that it is possible.
#3. Someone will discover me and write me a big check.
The media promotes contests so the concept of a prize is part of society. Perhaps the wishful thinking is just that part of the brain where the daydreams are. Daydreams are important. Then we’re back to reality and our passion and goals.
You have to bite the bullet even if it means going into debt or taking out a business loan (both of which I abhorred the thought of doing).
Because of the medication reaction there has been an ongoing balancing of what priorities are. My income was impacted. But I have completed a number of goals and multiple projects are in process with lots of ideas for the future. But I do find that I question what is best to do in order to move forward.
#4 My self esteem comes from people, places and things outside myself.
When you think about it society in general is set up so that self esteem is based upon performance, appearance, and fitting in. Look at advertising, how schools or offices are set up. What are the unwritten rules? Learning to be ‘self’ reliant isn’t always easy.
I think that for me a big questioning time was when I was to become a Mum…I was living in England at the time so I use Mum and that’s how I used to say it. I knew that parenting would be an ongoing process but it came down to me accepting my self value. I’d studied, ate right, exercised, and went to all the classes. After all, my parenting wasn’t what anyone said or wrote but mine at 3o’clock in the morning.
Truth: While praise and recognition from other people, places or circumstances is wonderful, they are fickle, fleeting. What lasts is the feeling that comes from accomplishing something you did. This allows you to raise your self esteem anytime you want because it’s not based on something outside yourself (which can change at the drop of a hat).
So true! It’s like the Chinese proverb about a journey of a thousand miles that begins with the first step. No one else can take that step and after you take it you know that you are that much closer to reaching your destination. There may be sidetracks but you know how to take the next step in the journey.
Joan
Joan Reinbolds last blog post..Laughter Yoga
5:30 am on May 13th, 2008 15
Hey Stephen, beautiful!
MJ
6:01 am on May 13th, 2008 16
Mark:
Thanks for stopping by! Glad you liked this one.
6:03 am on May 13th, 2008 17
Joan:
That was quite a response from you! Thanks for your incredible input, sharing your thoughts with the rest of us. I can tell this post made a big impact on you.
6:58 am on May 13th, 2008 18
Patricia:
As usual, your comments add so much value to this community.
I agree 100 percent that self esteem comes from within. I know how I used to look outside myself for validation. We all do it from time to time. But lately, similiar to your experience, I have been feeling this strong sense of inner power.
For instance, I was in the elevator recently and decided to strike up a friendly conversation with another guy in there. He appeared to be very indifferent, uninterested. Sort of shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t care. In the past I would have let that bother me and take it personally, thinking I wasn’t engaging enough or something like that. But on that day, I said to myself, “Oh well, maybe he’s just an apathetic person having a bad day.” Then I went on with my day. It was hard not to notice that about my thinking. Felt pretty cool actually.
Thanks again for sharing.
Stephen Hopsons last blog post..Little White Lies We Tell Ourselves
3:47 pm on May 13th, 2008 19
This is one of your more outstanding articles, Stephen.
You have really pulled the scab off here. Especially the part that our self esteem comes from outside ourselves!
You have cut out the work for us.
4:08 pm on May 13th, 2008 20
Corinne:
Wow, thanks! It felt good to write it. I was in my “element,” writing this late at night and the words flowed. I felt good and that’s the payoff I get for writing most of the time.
8:36 pm on May 13th, 2008 21
Wonderful share Stephen. Good points on me too. I often tell myself the self esteem lie and the out of shape one. Both of which I know better about. Thanks.
Todd Jordans last blog post..Self-Hosted and all in one piece
8:56 pm on May 13th, 2008 22
Todd:
Glad you stopped by! Amazing what the human mind will conjure at times.
11:07 am on May 14th, 2008 23
Hey Stephen!
I really loved this one! It is just easier to make excuses rather than to take action. I think sometimes I’m afraid to take action because deep down inside I’m really afraid of failure. It’s “safer” to make excuses and do nothing, than to take a chance and fail, but then where is your reward? You have nothing to show for yourself but “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s…and excuses”.
SO MANY of us struggle with the weight/health issue!! I know I did. “I’m a single mom, who works, performs, rehearses, goes to school, volunteers, etc etc. I don’t have time to workout and I deserve to eat what I want.” I thought that I was rewarding myself with food, but in reality I was just hurting myself. The real reward to myself would be to actually take care of myself.
Finally, I’ve started putting myself first. Most of it is thanks to a great book called “YOU on a diet” by Doctors Roizen and Oz. I started eating by the standards set in this book and working out, and I’ve since lost almost 30 pounds! I feel SO GOOD and I don’t feel the least bit deprived. It really feels like a lifestyle and not a diet. I recommend getting this book on tape or CD because it’s not exactly a page turner unless you’re into reading a lot of medical jargon.
Thanks for sharing all of this! I hope to see you on Sunday!!
1:00 pm on May 14th, 2008 24
my self esteem is helped by the thought that we are not created for something or someplace but for someone. thanks stephen.
2:30 pm on May 14th, 2008 25
Jonathan:
Good to have you back here again! You present an interesting viewpoint – we are not created for something or someplace but for someone.
Can you elaborate on that a bit more? I find it a very interesting, thought provoking statement.
When you say “someone,” who do you mean? Someone else or do you mean the person him/herself?
Thanks for jumping in here.
2:38 pm on May 14th, 2008 26
Jenni!!!!
How awesome it is to have you stop by and comment at Adversity University. I’m so excited to see you here.
I know EXACTLY how you feel when you say it feels great to have lost 30 lbs. As I mentioned in my article, I lost 20 and I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.
That leads me to the billion dollar question. If we know we feel good after losing weight or after a good vigorous workout, etc. why don’t we do it more often? Isn’t that something?
In other words, we KNOW we will feel better if we eat properly or worked out or did something we know we’re supposed to do but we don’t want to cross that threshold.
Amazing, isn’t it?
Anyway, I can also identify with the “rewarding of myself with food” kind of thing. OH YES. Count me in that crowd too. It’s funny – I’ll be shopping and I’ll see a delicious bag of chips or something and my mind would say something like “BUY THIS, you deserve to treat yourself to a bowl of…….” LOL
It’s good to know your “alternative eating lifestyle” is working where you don’t feel deprived. That’s the problem with most diets – we feel we’re neglecting ourselves because we deny ourselves what we crave.
Thanks for stopping in – it was really cool to have you write a very strong, powerful value added comment. I love it when people do that b/c it opens the way for more conversation – isn’t that what this is for?
11:50 am on June 16th, 2008 27
Hi Stephen~
I just read your post on “White Lies We Tell Ourselves”. I came upon your article, while researching about the impact of white lies. I did this because in the last 24 hours, I have told two little white lies and realize the affect it might have on the me, the liar. The white lies involved what I call two “emotional vampire” friends.
Lie 1) A friend asked me to walk their dogs today at 5pm because their wife would be not getting home when they planned. ( actually, the wife and her brother got a piece of metal stuck in their tire on their way to Six flags and are getting the car fixed, BUT continuing on the Six flags and just would get home later cause they wanted to stay later based on what had happened to the car.) The favor involved getting a combination to a storage locker to get the apt key and then walking both their dogs separately. normally, I would not mind, but these folks always ask me to do things, like move furniture, paint etc, because I am out of work. I like them, but I lied and said I had plans and would not be around.
Lie 2) Another friend constantly calls me, emails me, texted me about…nothing. She just wants to talk. I like talking with her but can not do it every day /3X a day! She says always that everything is important and I have to get in touch with her ASAP. and then I find it is nothing more than a ploy to get me to call sooner. And if I do not call in a day or so, she will think something is wrong and call 14 times a day. I have told her the truth that she can not do this and I get busy and can not call back sometimes until a few days later. She never hears my words. So, yesterday, I emailed her and said I got a job and do not know all the hours and would call her when I could. This should give me a break from her constant nagging.
My insight into this is, that those white lies eventually will fade, the friend who wanted the dogs walked will get them walked somehow and problem solved and my other friend might ask about my job ( but she lives 1000s miles away) and I will just says ok and eventually get a real job and that will end that. but the toll it takes on the teller is my question. I feel bad and would the truth have been better? I dont know. Both friends would have pushed the point if I had just said “no” or “to stop calling so much”
So I am saying, a person has to be aware of the white lies they tell and that will form an inconsistency in their mental life. And are these really white lies or just lies? That is the question.
Thanks for your time,
12:21 pm on June 16th, 2008 28
Ken:
That was the most courageous, detailed account of your recent experience with “lies” or “white lies.” Thanks very much for sharing this with us. I know someone will one day read your comment and recognize himself/herself in the same situation.
You bring up an excellent point: “Are these outright lies or little white ones?” Very good point. Anyone out there want to comment on this? This makes for a great conversation.
1:03 pm on June 16th, 2008 29
I think it comes down to if a person is hurt by your lie or not?
What if your lie can save a life?
Is it justified then?
What are the boundaries and constraints of a lie?
Hmm?
8:00 pm on June 16th, 2008 30
Ken:
Well, that’s an interesting observation but I would ask anyone who uses that line of thinking, “According to whom would define that other person being “hurt”?
Of course, there are obvious “hurts” but what about the subtle ones where some people could care less versus others who would be deeply hurt by the same situation? That could be a judgment call, I think.
“What if your lie could save a life” is not very hard to decide on. Like say someone who wants to cause physical harm to someone you know and asks where that person is. That’s where you could say, “I don’t know” when in reality you do know.
Great fodder for conversation here! You started a brilliant conversation here.
12:08 pm on July 2nd, 2008 31
Hi Stephen,
I too found you through Chris Brogan. Now he is really a great resource isn’t he? This post you wrote is just amazing. It comes down to accountability and being HONEST with ourselves, turning off that little negative tape that plays in the background if we allow it to. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here — I’ll be back to read more!
Cheers!
Zoey
7:49 am on July 3rd, 2008 32
Zoey:
Welcome to Adversity University. I’m so glad we have Chris as our favorite connector in the blogging/Internet world. Thanks for coming by and for telling me you’ll be back. That’s great!
Yes, it’s about accountability and consciously shutting off that little tape recorder inside our heads. The first step is often a level of awareness.
3:46 pm on September 19th, 2008 33
After reading the article, I felt uneasy. Because it’s true. I do tell myself those things, and I’m so glad a friend gave me a link to this site because now I know what has been holding me back from being who I truly am. Thank you so much.
8:05 am on September 23rd, 2008 34
@ jackie:
Thanks for letting me know the impact of this article on you. I’m glad it triggered something inside you – perhaps being led to this was the beginning of a wake up call? If so, consider yourself blessed because a wake up call usually leads to bigger and better things.
11:35 pm on January 4th, 2009 35
Stephen, I am taking a great deal of pleasure as I explore your blog. I share a philosophy that life is what happens when you are waiting for something else. The more people tell themselves they can’t won’t shouldn’t or belittle their talents, the less energy they have remaining to promote themselves. There is a difference between arrogance and self-promotion. Yet, not everyone has evolved to discover this yet. It is a question of finding the courage and the confidence to believe in your own potential. After all, if you do not take this initiative, why would anyone else?
8:38 am on January 5th, 2009 36
@ Liara Covert:
Thanks Liara for exploring my blog the way you have. I really appreciate it. How did you find me? I’m curious. There are no accidents, you know. You were led somehow to find me and now a connection has been made.
You’re right – there’s a difference between arrogance and self-promotion. I still need to work on the self-promotion part as I’m not a very aggressive marketer. It seems that God has been my marketer so far and I’ve been fine with that. It may not necessarily get me a ton of speaking engagements month after month but that’s okay. I’m open to what my intuition tells me and then I take action on it. That’s the best I can do.
If you haven’t bought that book I mentioned, I’d recommend it. It’s a great read and you’ll find yourself nodding your head several times.
12:10 pm on January 17th, 2009 37
Stephen, I discovered your blog through Lance on The Jungle of Life. As I read through blogger comments, I sense synergies with certain people and your comments resonated with me.
Thank you for the book recommendation. As an avid reader, I look forward to experiencing that.
Your fascination with the subject of this post leads me to believe yo uwill appreciate this:
http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2009/1/16/10-excuses-used-for-withholding-the-truth-and-options.html#entry2853095
I have known people whose businsses have thrived without very much if any self-promotion. Higher Forces are always involved in our lives. When you believe in yourself, you send energy out into the world that comes back in forms you do not foresee. Some people believe self-directedness and visualisation are indispensible. Other people believe meditation is the only tool you will ever need. Each person is on a personal journey of self-discovery. You laways find what you need and it has always existed. You just open senses wider to notice.
1:39 pm on January 17th, 2009 38
@ Liara Covert:
How cool is that! I love it. You sense synergies with certain people. Tell me more about that. How did you develop that level of awareness? I’m truly intrigued.
I look forward to reading your recommended article – thanks for sharing.
I love being reminded that Higher Forces are always involved in our lives. You are totally right that when you believe in yourself, you send energy out into the world that returns in ways you do not foresee. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that with me because you just made my day! Even though I know this intellectually and spiritually (heart), we all need to be reminded and yours was very timely.
Higher Forces also use people like you and me to communicate certain messages to others who need to hear/read them. That’s what just happened here. Bless you!
I’ve been to your site and am learning more about you. Thanks so much for bridging the connection between the two of us. I look forward to supporting your spiritual journey as much as you have done for me.
God Bless You!