I just got back this afternoon from Chicago, a full two days after the SOBCon08 conference was officially over. The extra days gave me a fabulous opportunity to spend quality time with the likes of Karen Putz, Wendy Piersall and Lorelle VanPossen all of whom were among those I bonded with over the long weekend.
The love and support from these three was incredible. Karen and her family generously offered me a place to stay for two nights (saving me a bundle on hotel expenses - THANK YOU KAREN!) while Lorelle and Wendy decided to kidnap me for several hours last night (Monday) so that Karen could tend to her parential duties without me in the way (i.e. take the kids to the baseball game and other motherly chores).
I’ll tell you more on this bonding experience later but first things first. Alex is back for the second part of my interview with him. If you haven’t read the first part, please go to Stephen Hopson Interview with Alexander Kjerulf, Chief Happiness Officer from Denmark, Part I of II.
Alex! Welcome back to Adversity University. Your answers to last week’s questions were absolutely great and I am looking forward to today’s interview with you!
Let’s get started Alex……
12. We all have a dark side, what’s yours?
There seems to be a streak of depression running in my family - we all get hit with black moods occasionally. I was seriously depressed for a six-month period about ten years ago.
Interestingly, as I work more and more with happiness, these moods happen less often and are much less severe when they come. But I can absolutely be moody on occasion :o)
Stephen’s Response: What a startling revelation coming from a man who is known all over the world as the CHO! What adversity you must have had to face on your journey!
13. Adversity University, I often talk about the value of changing our perceptions in order to deal with adversity. How have you dealt with adversity in your life? Give us specific examples of adversity and what you did to overcome them.
I deal with adversity mostly by adhering to one core belief: “It’s all going to work out!” I’ve been in trouble (or felt like I was) many times and every time, things have worked out.
As the writer Neil Gaiman put it: “It’s amazing how much trouble you can get yourself out of, simply by assuming that everything is going to be OK.”
Specifically, a few years ago when my co-founders and I were selling our IT company, I felt that I was being treated unfairly and would end up getting a smaller part of the sales price. I tried arguing my case but got nowhere.
In the end, I decided that “hey, it’s just money.” Prolonging that fight could’ve made me even richer, but it would also have cost me a lot of aggravation. I decided it wasn’t worth it and accepted their solution. Financially it was a bad idea but it did wonders for my mental peace and happiness.
Stephen’s Response: And in the end, it saved you from losing out on something no one could put a price tag on. I can only imagine how difficult it was to let go but that’s the key. We’ve all had to face the situation where we had to say to ourselves, “Screw this, it’s not worth it.” Granted, it’s not always the easiest choice to make but the inner rewards are immeasurable.
14. What would you say was the defining moment that forever changed the course of your life? For example, was it someone who made an impact on you or was it a spiritual revelation?
There hasn’t really been one defining moment for me. It’s tempting to look back and point to one specific choice, event, realization and say “That’s it, that’s what defines me,” because we tend to look for meaning in everything, especially the “big” things that happen to us. But I feel that my progress has been much more evolutionary than revolutionary.
Stephen’s Response: You’re right, I’m often guilty of trying to put a meaning on everything when it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. But I have to admit love doing it! I love trying to figure out why this happened or why that happened. You made an interesting point: evolutionary versus revolutionary. Never heard anyone say that in an interview situation before - at least not here at Adversity University!
15. What 3 books, blogs and/or mentors have influenced you and why?
- Kathy Sierra’s blog - obviously. And may she return to blogging soon!
- Ricardo Semler’s books, especially The Seven-Day Weekend.
- Peter Senge’s books, especially The Fifth Discipline.
Stephen’s Response: Anyone wanting to know more about these people can google and find them rather easily.
16. Name the top 5 articles from Positive Sharing that you believe readers at Adversity University would benefit from.
- How to Lose Your Fear of Being Fired
- Top 10 Reasons Constant Complaining is so Toxic
- Find Your Quitting Point
- Happiness at Work is the Ultimate Productivity Booster
- How To Turn Around a Bad Day
Stephen’s Response: I loved the first article, “How To Lose Your Fear of Being Fired” because that’s a common thing pervading today’s workplace. The way you worded that article matched my belief that everything is a matter of perception. Like you said in that article, if you got fired, there are two ways of dealing with it. One is to get upset and worried while the other is to shrug your shoulders and say, “So what?” Your attitude and/or perception determines how you will end up. It puts the power of your life right back in your hands, wouldn’t you agree Alex?
17. What do you hope God will have to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Ehm - as an atheist I have a little trouble with this question :o)
But I’d like my tombstone to read something like “Here lies Alex. A great friend. He made the world happier.”
Stephen’s Response: OOPS. Well, at least you handled that rather deftly - I loved the last part: “He made the world happier.” Damn, we need more people like you!
18. Being deaf, I am always curious to know which sounds other people love and hate to hear. Tell us a sound you absolutely adore and a sound you detest.
I loooove the sound of a scratchy vinyl record.
I don’t much like the sound of the neighbors playing music at 3AM :o)
Stephen’s Response: Scratchy vinyl record? Well, how very interesting! Would that be like a cat scratching its claws across the surface of a hardwood floor? I’m just guessing here. I guess I don’t have to worry about neighbors playing loud music 3 am in the morning. 
19. We all have our likes and dislikes. What would you say turns you on and what turns you off? Give the first answer that comes to your mind without censoring or editing it.
I like positive people who are optimistic, playful, happy, open. I dislike people who see the worst in everything and everyone.
Stephen’s Response: Well, then you must come to the next SOBCon event in 2009! I just got back this years and nothing could have prepared me for the incredible amount of bonding that took place. People I never met warmed up to me immediately. I told everyone that the trust was so high I would have had no problem inviting most of them into my house at a moment’s notice. That’s how strong of a bond most of us formed at SOBCon. You’ve got to experience it for yourself to see what I mean. These people are right up your alley.
20. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?
Favorite word: Yes!
Least favorite: Yes, but…
Stephen’s Response: I love YES too, especially when I am asking for something I want.
21. What’s next for Alexander Kjerulf?
My long term plan is world domination. My long term plan is to found a world wide consulting company dedicated to happiness at work.
Short term: Easter vacation in London!
Stephen’s Response: How cool is that? Funny you should say “world domination.” That’s my dream too - to become a world renowned inspirational speaker and author, touching the lives of many people. I wouldn’t be surprised if our paths crossed one day on the world stage. That’d be fun, hmm?
22. And finally but not least, where can we find out more about you?
You can read all about me at my blog at www.positivesharing.com
Turning to audience: Let’s give Alex a hand for showing up and giving us authentic, thought provoking and enjoyable answers! Thanks Alex for taking the time to visit with us. We really enjoyed having you here.
Stay tuned for some new posts and articles!
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7:35 am on May 7th, 2008 1
Stephen, it was an absolute pleasure to have you stay with us after the SOBCon–let’s plan for that again next year!
I especially enjoyed Alex’s response to the favorite/least favorite word question. I’m working on getting those “Yes, but…” stuff out of the way.
Alex’s post about toxic complaining hit the nail on the head. I have a relationship with someone and we always have a topic that we hash over and over without moving forward. Time to end the cycle!
Great interview and I look forward to reading more of Alex’s posts.
7:54 am on May 7th, 2008 2
Karen:
Good morning! I was just thinking about you and your wonderful family. My sentiments exactly. When I got up this morning, the first image that came into my mind was you sitting at your computer, starting your day. I do the same thing.
Let me know how you’re doing with the moving of your blog to Wordpress via Top Hosting Center. I know the transition will be less painful than you think.
Those “Yes, but….” can really stop us from moving forward. I’ve found myself saying that at times. The key is to catch ourselves when saying it.
I definitely agree with you and Alex about how important it is to stay away from toxic topics and people. I’ve had to push some people out of my circle of influence in the last year because they were toxic - very toxic. They kept shaking their head as if they were saying, “How awful the world is” and then complain about whatever was wrong with their life. I especially had to move away from those who liked to gossip. Very toxic.
Thanks again for hosting me at your beautiful home. It was immeasurably rewarding and pleasant. I especially enjoyed talking to your husband “late into the night” the other evening. Your kids were a hoot too!
8:49 am on May 7th, 2008 3
Alex,
I’d love to see you establish a consulting company for workplace happiness. My husband is a pretty positive guy, I’ve never really seen him have a bad day. He is so proud of the work he does and the end result is huge yachts. The co-workers, not a happy place, it is very toxic based on rumors. Since my husband is Deaf, thankfully he isn’t getting ALL the rumors. He does show his happiness in his work. He’s not one to bounce off the walls, but I can see how he does affect those that work with him.
There is a statistic of how many Americans that hate their job, it’s a very high percentage, I haven’t researched it but perhaps you know.
Stephen, I’m so jealous now about SOBCon08 - but I’ll go next year for sure! Is it in Chicago again?
9:39 am on May 7th, 2008 4
Lisa:
I am hoping one of these days my path will cross Alex’s since he and I share similiar philosophies about life in general. I’m glad we’ve all had an opportunity to get to know him more through this interview series. I’m even gladder that you’re among those who really enjoy this program.
I don’t know if SOBCon08 will be in Chicago again or not but keep your eyes peeled. They are definitely having it again but I don’t know when or where. I KNOW you would have fit right in and had a marvelous time. The kind of people there are right up your alley.
Thanks for chiming in. P.S. Are you on Twitter? I finally succumbed to it and am trying it out for the first time. My twitter URL is: http://twitter.com/sjhopson
9:45 am on May 7th, 2008 5
The SOBCon conference sounds like it was a very positive event. I’d like to know more about blogging!
Chief Happiness Officer sounds great! Alex’s job can help so many people.
His quote by Neil Gaiman of “It’s amazing how much trouble you can get yourself out of, simply by assuming that everything is going to be OK” puts things into perspective…no matter what happens life goes on and will work out. How you deal with what happens is all in your perspective.
An anonymous quote (since I don’t know who came up with it) that I find encouraging.
“It is your Attitude not Aptitude that will determine your Altitude in life”
Along with that is laughter which is so important besides it just being fun. Here’s a statistic but I don’t know what the source is (hmm there seems to be an ‘anonymous’ pattern here). Adults laugh on average 15 times a day. Children laugh 400 times a day! What would the world be like if we all laughed a whole lot more?
I think that things can and do happen for a reason.
Joan
9:50 am on May 7th, 2008 6
Hi Joan:
It was a fabulous event and one that truly bonded most people together. I was literally in tears at the end of the event and again when Karen Putz dropped me off at Midway airport. Today is my first day back home and I’m gradually settling in and getting re-organized.
Alex definitely has a good perspective with Neil Gaiman’s quote. Like I’m fonding of saying, life is really a matter of perception. We all have different ways of looking at the same thing.
Thanks for running through my blog and checking Adversity University out. I’m from Akron, OH so if you are ever through town, let me know.
3:52 pm on May 7th, 2008 7
Stephen, so glad you made it back from the Windy City. I went there once for an art class and had a blast just riding the train around the city.
The Fifth Discipline by Peter Serge that Alex mentioned is a must read! (although I haven’t read it yet.:) It’s sitting on my chair now waiting for me.) My husband had to read it for class and he has been sharing all of it’s insights with me and he raves and raves over it. He is in the middle of doing some posts for my new blog (soon to be posted) where he derives the foundation of these posts from this book. It is so eye opening!!! It will change the way you think forever - for the better. So if you want to get a glimpse of the greatness of this book just stay tuned in to my blog. (okay, had to put a plug in there.
) I’m so honored to have my husband write these posts.
I just recently started saying the same thing to myself when dealing with adversity or stress. “It’s all going to be okay.” It has made a huge difference for me.
Jennifers last blog post..Drumroll, please……..
3:53 pm on May 7th, 2008 8
Oops. I just realized I didn’t change my login info. here. Sorry.
Jennifers last blog post..Six Steps to Become Assertive (and Nice)
6:07 pm on May 7th, 2008 9
Jennifer:
Even though I had a fantastic, bonding time at SOBCon08 in the Windy City, I was glad when I came back home because I had to catch up on a lot of things that I tend to do on a routine basis. Stuff like balancing the checkbook, paying bills, writing new blog posts and reading some new books. I love it!
Thanks for telling me about The Fifth Discipline. Sounds like I need to add it to my list of required readings! Right now I’m reading a great book by Timothy Peterson who wrote about office politics in the format of a business fable. It’s really interesting and entertaining.
The statement of “It’s all going to be okay,” is really reassuring, especially when the going gets tough. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that to myself but when I say it outloud, it gives me that reassuring feeling. It’s like a comforter blanket or something.
6:17 pm on May 7th, 2008 10
Stephen,
1. Word Domination. Yes, CK and I want to have everyone bring passion and purpose into their life and workplace. We want the whole world to get it.
2. SOBCon was wonderful and I’m so happy I got a chance connect with you in a much deeper way.
3. I’ve got your twitter number! You’re being followed.
6:40 pm on May 7th, 2008 11
Michelle:
Indeed it was a privilege and honor to meet you at SOBCon08. It was fantastic that we both got to meet Corinne Edwards at the Greek restaurant. I was so glad she was able to squeeze us in her hectic schedule. I just wish it wasn’t under dire circumstances (her best friend dying).
I also have your Twitter number too! Thanks to Karen Putz, I’m now a newborn Twitter baby. Born just hours ago. LOL.
9:27 pm on May 7th, 2008 12
Can anyone pls explain to me what Twitter is?? Many Thanks!
Nitas last blog post..The New Sucker
9:32 pm on May 7th, 2008 13
Nita:
Go to http://www.twitter.com and read through their pages. It’s sort of like IM on the web where you tell people what you’re up to. It can be addictive and distracting. I’m still learning the process and this is the best I can do to describe what it is but if you visit their homepage, you’ll read more about it.
Hope this helps.
9:42 pm on May 7th, 2008 14
Twitter is also called micro-blogging. I’m still learning too.
Lisa Callsens last blog post..COMING SOON!
11:31 pm on May 7th, 2008 15
Stephen, That book sounds interesting. What’s the title?
I’m going to try and say that phrase out loud next time. That makes a lot of sense.
Jennifers last blog post..Six Steps to Become Assertive (and Nice)
6:34 am on May 8th, 2008 16
Jennifer:
Timothy L. Johnson’s book is called “GUST: The “Tale” Wind of Office Politics.” It’s a very interesting read and yesterday I read through half of the book in one sitting. I’ve always been fascinated with office politics not because I like it but because I’ve seen it play itself out in various corporate settings. I think you’ll like it - I did and I’m usually picky about what I like/don’t like.
9:29 am on May 8th, 2008 17
I wondered what was so exciting about ‘The Fifth Discipline” so I looked it up and Ricardo Semler’s work. Now I see why. They see people as individuals who are creative and work best when life is lived as a whole; not compartmentalized and greatly regulated. Just think of the innovation that is possible!
Stepen if I’m in Akron I will let you know.
Joan
Joan Reinbolds last blog post..Laughter Is The Best Medicine
9:46 am on May 8th, 2008 18
Joan:
Yes, please do let me know when you’re in Akron. Where are you located? In Canton? Cleveland?
I have the “Fifth Discipline” on my list of books to read. If you read it before I do, let me know what you think of it. Thanks to Alex for bringing this to our attention!
7:34 pm on May 8th, 2008 19
Yes Joan, “the Fifth Discipline” teaches a person how to treat everything as a whole.
Jennifers last blog post..Drumroll, please……..
10:22 am on May 9th, 2008 20
Stephen,
Traveling and exploring is something I like to do! So, for me to get to Akron I’d have to travel from central Illinois.
I lived in the Cleveland area though…a while ago…it’s probably changed since.
I was through Ohio about a year and a half ago…no immediate plans for travel.
Yes, I’ll let you know what I think of the book if I read it first. Please let me know what you think if you get through it first.
With so many businesses struggling, innovation seems like it would be very beneficial.
Joan
Joan Reinbolds last blog post..Laughter Is The Best Medicine
10:44 am on May 9th, 2008 21
Joan:
I don’t know why I had the impression that you lived in Ohio. Oh well. Anyway, if you come through Ohio at any time, do let me know. I’d be delighted to have a bite to eat with you or just have coffee.
P.S. You’re right - Laughter IS the best medicine. In the last 48 hours I had a couple of really good belly laughs and that felt oh so good.