My favorite phrase these days is, “It’s a Matter of Perception.” This is an article about what I perceive networking to be.
The word conjures up the image of the overeager “networker wanna-be” excitedly running from person to person with a stack of business cards, hurriedly passing them out to anyone polite enough to take one and then without so much of a cursory glance and barely a word, rushes on to the next taker.
Nah, not for me. I may be an outgoing and gregarious person, but I prefer meeting in smaller, intimate settings. Perhaps meeting a handful of people over coffee rather than at those huge and impersonal Chamber of Commerce networking events.
And I prefer to substitute networking with “relationship building.” Isn’t that what you’re trying to do anyway? Build personal relationships? Getting to know others and finding ways to help them? Ben Stein, the writer, actor and game show host once said:
Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Last week I attended my first-ever Akron/Cleveland Bloggers meet-up at a coffee shop. With the exception of two or three people I previously met, everyone else was a total stranger. Yet I went because I knew it would be a small, intimate gathering where all of us would have an opportunity to participate and share tips about blogging. Instead of rushing around a room frantically passing out business cards, we drank coffee under leisurely settings, introduced ourselves, shared tips and had a good time.
In the end, I gained several new friends and a truckload of blogging tips – a win-win situation for everyone who took time out of their busy schedule to attend.
Here’s a photo:
From left to right (top to bottom): Ron McDaniel (Buzzoodle), Stephen Hopson (who?), Deborah Chaddock Brown (Bizinformer), Ivana S. Taylor (Strategy Stew), Mark Pinto (Mark Pinto Group), Deb Estep (Deb_Inside), Patti Renner (Copywriter) and Chris Brown (Branding & Marketing Blog). (Not in photo – Ron Finklestein).
Now, this, to me, is what relationship building should be about. These small intimate gatherings empowers you by empowering others, leading to new ideas, new opportunities, new friendships, new clients and new referrals.
Shortly after I wrote this post, I decided, out of curiosity, to do a google search and was surprised (or maybe not so surprised) to find an article “Why is Networking a Dirty Word?” by Ramit Sethi. I found it to be an interesting read, particularly at the end where winners of a contest he was running responded with some of their best and worst networking stories.
Food for thought: What do YOU think networking is about?
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7:35 pm on October 30th, 2007 1
Hi Stephen,
I agree it is a fun time. I have actively tried to do less of the traditional [lead driven] networking and more of the smaller groups that favor good relationships and shared interests [mine around business and web 2.0]
Nice post
9:11 pm on October 30th, 2007 2
Ron:
I can see why you’ve tried to spend less time with traditional networking and move towards smaller outfits like our Blogger group. I really enjoyed the get together! Obviously you were one of the “few” that I already knew. It was good to see you there.
10:24 pm on October 30th, 2007 3
[...] Read what Stephen Hopson had to say at Adversity University. [...]
7:40 am on October 31st, 2007 4
Good post, there, S-Man: I think you’ve hit the nail right on the head. Sometimes we try “too hard” to make things work. If we’re not comfortable doing something, we won’t do it. So, if networking is important to your business (and, I can’t imagine a business or career where it’s not), working within smaller groups is a great way to spread your own word.
7:42 am on October 31st, 2007 5
30 years ago the word networking was not even in our thoughts.
Say network and your thoughts most likely would
have went to ABC, CBS or NBC.
Networking certainly was not a VERB in those days.
Networking can have a negative connotation.
For me, as with all life connections, the
difference is in the sincerity of the person.
Was there a common word or phrase for gathering in business or personal contacts prior to networking ?
I thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone at the
‘Akron/Cleveland Bloggers meet-up’.
Thanks for the invite Stephen.
8:44 am on October 31st, 2007 6
Debra:
Isn’t it interesting how the meaning of that word transformed itself over the years in the manner you just described?
Like I mentioned at the beginning of the article, it’s all a matter of perception. I am choosing to believe the word is “dirty” and prefer “relationship building.” Someone else reading this might disagree and that’s cool because everyone has different ways of perceiving things through their own lens of experience, belief system and background.
It was great meeting you at the blogger event and I look forward to some more down the road. In fact, I have an idea that I think would be a lot of fun and I’ll figure out a way to pose the idea to the group.
8:50 am on October 31st, 2007 7
Michael:
You’re absolutely 100 percent right when you say that sometimes we try “too hard” to make things work. When that happens, the person doing it puts up energy blocks that stall or impede progress and the person wonders why. When you set an intention, take appropriate action, it’s important to let go and let God. There’s a great sense of freedom in letting your energy flow easily and effortlessly.
That’s how the decision to attend this blogger gathering felt – it felt good – natural and therefore I went without any agenda other than to enjoy myself with a good cup of coffee.
Glad to have you back here commenting at Adversity University!
7:56 pm on October 31st, 2007 8
Hi Stephen,
When the word “networking” comes up, the first thing appears in my mind what it means is that friends informing another to help one find a job, a place to live, etc. I feel this type of networking is positive, not negative or dirty.
Like you mentioned before, we can’t reach our goals by ourselves; there are always people who help us along the way.
8:16 pm on October 31st, 2007 9
Nita:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Like I mentioned in my post, it’s a matter of perception and I’m glad to see that you believe the word “networking” can be a positive one. You’re right!
I prefer to use the word “relationship building” because that feels better for me. If you like “networking,” then that’s GREAT.
I’m all for personal opionions of others – it’s like how some people don’t like the word “God” but prefer to use another word that means the same thing like “higher power” or “the universe” or something of that nature. We all have different preferences when choosing a word to describe the same thing.
Cheers! Thanks again for participating – I love it when people contribute different thoughts – that’s why I have comments open for all to contribute.
Stephen
8:15 pm on November 4th, 2007 10
Man, I wish I could have been there to hang out with you all. Stephen, Deb and Ron, all in 1 place. Man, I now need to visit you AND Des Moines! Huzzah and great post friend!
8:34 pm on November 4th, 2007 11
Phil:
Having you with us would have been one hellva a HOOT. While the energy from that group was wonderful, I’m positively sure that your presence would have added incredible overall excitement. It’s only a matter of time, Phil, before our paths cross and we meet in person. And that will be a day to remember, for sure.