We all have had our issues and tend to find things that comfort us during tough times. The softner does absolute wonders for me, especially when my head hits the pillow at night! Feels so comfortable and reassuring. Amazing how laundry detergent can do that for me!

I am truly enjoying your comments of late! I love your energy and appreciate having you here.

Isn’t the lavender detergent awesome or what? I just did a load the other day and I find myself sniffing everything I put on with a flourish! LOL

I love the “ogre slain” comment. It immediately gave me this image of an ogre that I saw on the big screen not long ago. Cute!

Thanks for sharing and being part of the AU. I appreciate the love link over at your site. Hope your readers will participate in the idea of turning the things that make them feel bad into something that feels good.

Stephen

But to comment on Nita’s question about what to do about people that are negative that you still have to interact with - my son and I just had this convo. He just started a new school year and his fav subject, English, is being taught by a complete ogre.

I shared that in life we’ll work with, meet, deal with lots of ogres but the trick is to quietly know in your heart this too shall pass. This class is only for one year. And he should enjoy doing his very best and surprising this teacher with his brilliance. Sure enough the next day my son had to do an in class essay and blew the pants off his teacher who ended up complimenting my son. The beginnings of a bond and perhaps an ogre slain.

Same with my ex-husband. I smile for the kids and know in my heart that this time with him will end at some point and I get to go home without him. It puts a smile on my face and helps me deal when he exhibits those “charming” traits that led us to divorce in the first place!

Deborah

How wonderful that you’re going out to buy yourself the Tide Simple Pleasures detergent! you’ll love it! Too bad I am not getting a commission for it. Oh well. Doesn’t matter. It’s a great product guranateed to make you feel good when your head hits the pillow at night.

Thanks for the compliment about how I am able to put complicated things into simple words or steps. I appreciate it!

The more I hear about Jerry and Esther Hicks, the more I know I need to get one of their books. I woh’t be able to hear their DVDs or audio tapes but at least I should be able to read what they have to say. Their names keep popping up over and over again. Maybe it’s time for me to pay heed to the message from universe and get myself one of their books! Thanks for reminding me.

Stephen

“What you focus on expands” has been my private mantra.

I think that anyone who is interested in the “Secret” should go to the source of the DVD which is Esther and Jerry Hicks website. Esther channels a series of entities who are collectively called Abraham and you can listen to some of the recordings for free.

I have attended their workshop and it is fascinating.

They were originally on the DVD but were eliminated when they were asked to give up some very important rights.

Like this article, Stephen! You have a talent for bringing a complicated issue right down to our every day needs!

i hope you are getting a commission on the detergent. I am off to the store to buy some!

Corinne

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your viewpoints. That’s the great thing about the commenting feature at this blog. It allows people like yourself to participate in a community, which will hopefully start a conversation of some kind. And I see that you have done just that! Thanks!

Let’s see….you’ve got a good point….what about family members who put you down? That’s definitely a tough one to crack.

I’ve had varying degrees of challenges with my family in the distant past. We’ve all had that. Not all of us handle it in the same way but here’s I handled mine.

One way was by praying for the family member that I was having difficulty with and seeing beyond the facade of that person. That allowed me to see their inner child and their insecurities, which made me realize none of how they behaved towards me was about me. It was about them - their “stuff.”

The other was to not participate in family events for a certain period of time, giving me necessary breathing room. I’ve had that happen a few times while in college. I had been angry about something and didn’t go home for the holidays for a while. Eventually we reconciled and all was well again but it took some work on both of our parts.

And the final thing is if it was unavoidable to see the difficult family member, I would acknowledge them but maintain some loving distance. Sometimes you have to love people at a distance and there’s nothing wrong with that, even with certain family members.

One thing that worked for me was not only did I pray for them and saw their inner spiritual child but I also had an earnest face to face conversation with them. I did this with the mindset of not blaming or making them wrong for anything. Too often people get mired in the “blame game,” making things worst. Not very productive.

What I’ve done was merely expressed how I felt. When you express how YOU feel, no one can take that away from you.

They may not agree but that’s not why you are telling them this. You’re not trying to get them to agree but you’re simply stating how you feel. For instance, you might say something like, “I feel bad when I’m around you because I feel judged or put down when I’m around you.”

Notice how the above statement does not blame or point fingers at the other person. You are merely stating your feelings, which you have a right to do.

If you read my story “Harry the Bank Boss,” you’ll see how I used visualization of love to reconcile with this difficult man. You can do the same with family members or friends. I know I have.

In regards to your other point about how you wouldn’t learn anything if life was smooth sailing. That’s very true.

However, what I was advocating in this post was that it’s not what happens to you that matters (adversity, etc.) but how you handle it. In other words, we have a choice in how we feel about whatever happened to us.

For instance, we could choose to sulk for hours or days or weeks over something adversial that happened to us or we can control how we feel and take action to make ourselves feel better.

Let’s say you were rejected for a job you applied for. Certainly that would be painful, right? But how long would you allow it to make you feel dejected?

If you had a different perspective about the “job rejection,” you might see it as a lesson to be learned, or you might see that it was not meant to happen since God had bigger plans for you or you might see that the work environment would not have been a good fit for you anyway. It’s all within your control how you react and consequently feel about something that happened to you.

You might have a long talk with a trusted friend about it, treat yourself to a refreshing spa treatment or you could turn on your favorite music or read your favorite book, all of which have the potential of instantly changing your mood for the better.

In regards to your comment about how we have to lose something in order to gain something else, I believe that there is plenty for all of us. We do not have winners and losers, contrary to what we’ve been taught.

Let’s use the job situation again. Suppose you were up against someone for a job but you didn’t get it. Does that mean you lost and the other person gained? Not necessarily. Some people might view that as a losing situation. But I disagree.

It’s all a matter of perception. You might not have gotten the job for any number of reasons stated above.

There is no lack unless you believe in it. If a person believes there is competition and everyone wins and loses, then that person will experience it becuase that’s how the Law of Attraction works. You attract what you believe.

I think it was Henry Ford who once said something like “If you believe, you are right. If you don’t believe, you are right. Either way you are right!”

I hope that helps.

Stephen